Best insult?

[MIXONE]

OK some of the guys and girls on this site have a great gift of the language.My question is who has handed out the best insult?
I don't mean "Suck my cock","Wanker","Get fucked" or any of the simple day to day stuff but something that is both witty and stinging.

PS.I would love to read something from gijoe but he seems too nice to blag anyone.

[Indiana_Jones]

Cunt Muscle

-Indy

[DEATH_INC.]

Honda Rider!

[Ronin]

May your ears turn to bums and shit on your shoulders.


An oldy but a goody.

[ducatilover]

Honda Rider!

You bastard!
MJ's pet!

[EJK]

Yo mama so fat she.....!

[crazyhorse]

In my view - its gotta be Headbanger's comment:

For this reply:

Your an internet knob-end.......I blame your mum, She must have told you that you were special, Stupid women, She should have prepared you for the world and told you the truth, your a dickhead.

[tri boy]

FYYFF
Adventure rider greeting.:innocent:

[Boob Johnson]

I don't mean "Suck my cock","Wanker","Get fucked" or any of the simple day to day stuff but something that is both witty and stinging.
Well I guess that would rule out Katman then :laugh:

[onearmedbandit]

The best 'insulter' ever on KB was Winja. Hands down best. No one comes close. I don't think you'll find any of his posts here now though.

[Blackshear]

Your momma is so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

[want-a-harley]

jizz cock, piss kidney, arse hole as stated by Mark in Peep Show

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90fzcx8GRR4

[shafty]

I've gotta hand it to ya Mate, you're a CHEESE DICK

[peasea]

OK some of the guys and girls on this site have a great gift of the language.My question is who has handed out the best insult?
I don't mean "Suck my cock","Wanker","Get fucked" or any of the simple day to day stuff but something that is both witty and stinging.

PS.I would love to read something from gijoe but he seems too nice to blag anyone.

You policeman, you!

[kave]

A friend taught me how to swear in Macedonian. I always felt that the best of the insults he provided was the one that translated as "your mother has pussy for two dicks".

[balans]

To a female: "Your C*** stinks"

I've never actually used it though, it's too harsh and I don't fancy my eyes being clawed out.

[Squiggles]

Winja... </10chars>

[MIXONE]

A friend taught me how to swear in Macedonian. I always felt that the best of the insults he provided was the one that translated as "your mother has pussy for two dicks".

I always liked the old South African one that translates as "You one mother 27 father"

[=cJ=]

"He is a shiver looking for a spine to go up..."

Some politician used it once upon a time, damned if I can remember who though...

[Virago]

Paul Keating.

[Subike]

nose pickin, buttfucking,ball scratching red neck!

[Genestho]

Sorry - don't keep any insults in mind from posters...so on that note...:shutup:.....

I have noticed that you never let an idea interrupt the flow of your conversation. :bleh:

P/T, sorry couldn't resist!!:done: :wari:

[ynot slow]

Used on soccer field after a guy damn near broke my leg and I tackled him legally 60 mins later,"you must be a test tube baby" he said "fuck off why" I said "cause you take after him,you're a wanker too",next minute his mum wanted to get in on it.She didn't like it when I told her "and you are the sperm bank,what do you do when your mouth is full?"

[lb99]

"kiss my sisters black cats arsehole" try saying that when youre pissed

[DELLORTO]

ive got one you'll never recover from!!!


GO RIDE A LIFAN YOU MOPED FUCKER

[buffstar]

Dogcunt motherfuckn asshole - but have to be really angry to use that one - and if im really really mad just add more swear words on the end....can go for ages actually.....

[Laxi]

the most fucks you can fit in a sentance?
try "fucking fuck the fucking fuckers"

[RC1]

The best 'insulter' ever on KB was Winja. Hands down best. No one comes close. I don't think you'll find any of his posts here now though.

we could always go to the other site hes on and copy and paste :wari:

[PrincessBandit]

Honda Rider!

Seem to recall "better a sister in a whore house than a brother on a Honda" - heard that one a couple of decades ago.

But, as an aside, I always wonder what it is with insults which actually insult their mother or sister. Why should the women bear the brunt of the insulting remark e.g. son of a bitch, yo' mamma so...., and some of the offerings which have shown up already in this thread. Insult the person themselves if you're going to do it - not their poor old mum!

[hospitalfood]

i would not cross the road to piss in your mouth if your teeth were on fire

[BiK3RChiK]

I have <a href="http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=71167&highlight=insults+class">this</a> printed out on my fridge. I think some of these are real good! haha...

[Genestho]

I have <a href="http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=71167&highlight=insults+class">this</a> printed out on my fridge. I think some of these are real good! haha...
They're awesome!

Love this one..."I've had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx :lol:

[Dean]

I feel this is a good insult, quite fitting in this case.

How many sixpackbacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? = just one, he holds the lightbulb still and lets the world revolve around him

[Timber020]

People like you justify cancer

[DELLORTO]

I feel this is a good insult, quite fitting in this case.

How many sixpackbacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? = just one, he holds the lightbulb still and lets the world revolve around him

if sixpackbacks had one more wrinkle he'd pass as a prune lol

just jokes

[EJK]

if sixpackbacks had one more wrinkle he'd pass as a prune lol

just jokes

How many six packs can sixpackback pack?

just kidding :dodge:

[oldrider]

A little tame for today but when I was young (and pissing people off) an old guy looked at me and scowled:

"Your mother couldn't have been a good woman, to have such a bastard"

I ignored him at the time but it stayed with me for longer than I was comfortable with. :shutup:

Now I am an old guy and I understand more than ever what he meant, strange ol'e world eh! :Pokey:

[DELLORTO]

How many six packs can sixpackback pack?

just kidding :dodge:

not many.......

[Dean]

How many six packs can sixpackback pack?

just kidding :dodge:

Sixpackback is one of those men who posses every gift..............every gift except the power to use them

Just kidding, hey they arent insults unless you use them at someone

[ynot slow]

Who called the chef a bastard?Who called the bastard a chef? Good line from a classic movie eh.

[wbks]

Don't really have a best, so I'll substitute definitely the worst insult I've used in recent times: I was sitting around with a few new mates talking shit. They all knew each other for years, so I was the newbie and thought I'd crack a few funnies, when one guy reaches into his pocket, pulls out some change and asks "what can I buy for $1.50?", to which I quickly replied "your mum!" and started laughing expecting everyone else to join in. The dude just sort of went silent and walked off, and the rest of them were just glaring at me for a while, so I just shut up and wondered wtf was so bad about it... Later that day one of them explained that his mum had actually died not even a year earlier from cancer. That put me off 'Yo Momma' jokes for a while!

[DELLORTO]

i bet your brain feels as good as new considering you've never used it.....:wari::wari:

[mowgli]

"Your brain is so minute that if a hungry cannibal were to crack your head open there would barely be enough to cover a small waterbiscuit."

OT I know but Blackadder delivered insults with style.

[mossy1200]

You couldn't ride shit out of your arse if you had diarrhoea.

[oldguy]

You bloody Maori's

[JATZ]

i would not cross the road to piss in your mouth if your teeth were on fire


Oh thats good. I'll try to slip that one into conversation before the end of the week

[Weaver]

You ain't nothing but a cold fart warmed up.

[Number One]

You think you are hot shit on toast but you are really cold fart on bread.

Can't remember any really good ones from KB...though I still remember one from Finn aimed at me that still cracks me up and brings a smile to my dial.

Something about me being a pimply faced little boy and it being past my bedtime so I should go back to bed so he can pop around and do my mother :rofl:

I don't get the insult your mother thing either...it doesn't actually upset me for some random stranger on a website to say she is fat or ugly or that they are going root her...meh, I say good luck to them - she'd tear them a new arsehole, one tough lady that one.

[Mr Merde]

I know you arent a wanker, but I wish your father was.

[ynot slow]

So you remember your first sexual experience then,shame nobody was there too enjoy it with you.

[MIXONE]

A little tame for today but when I was young (and pissing people off) an old guy looked at me and scowled:

"Your mother couldn't have been a good woman, to have such a bastard"

I ignored him at the time but it stayed with me for longer than I was comfortable with. :shutup:

Now I am an old guy and I understand more than ever what he meant, strange ol'e world eh! :Pokey:

One of my old favourites also a bit tame for current trends is "I hope it rains on the day your parents get married"

[bogan]

You're just mutton dressed up as lamb.

[1billyboy]

You are the result of a drunken fuck:shit:

[Indiana_Jones]

You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass.. But really you're just cold diarhhea in a dixie cup!

-Indy

[Dean]

Another favourite of mine, soo true on this.

lady you are and forever will be a 5 dollar!, no 2 dollar!, no 37 cent!, all i have is a quarter, can i write you a check?, keep the change, tip your waitress, make a wish blow out your candles, the rock said blow the candles not the pool boy!!, red tag bottom basement half price slut!!!

[ynot slow]

Know a guy who was slightly pissed at Maccas after a stockcar meeting,a dwarf(is this pc)walked into the place,Bruce decided to tell his mate queitly "that's what happens when ya pull out of a root",unfortunately everyone heard it.

[Jez]

But, as an aside, I always wonder what it is with insults which actually insult their mother or sister. Why should the women bear the brunt of the insulting remark e.g. son of a bitch, yo' mamma so...., and some of the offerings which have shown up already in this thread. Insult the person themselves if you're going to do it - not their poor old mum!

I dont get the mum and sis thing either, so i go with this:

I'd insult your mum, but shes just as ashamed of you as the rest of the world.

[ducatilover]

You are the disgusting result of a broken prophylactic

[kiwi cowboy]

nose pickin, buttfucking,ball scratching red neck!

shit suebike dont be so hard on yourself:laugh:i've never seen you pickin ya nose yet:no:

[Finn]

You think you are hot shit on toast but you are really cold fart on bread.

Can't remember any really good ones from KB...though I still remember one from Finn aimed at me that still cracks me up and brings a smile to my dial.

Something about me being a pimply faced little boy and it being past my bedtime so I should go back to bed so he can pop around and do my mother :rofl:

I don't get the insult your mother thing either...it doesn't actually upset me for some random stranger on a website to say she is fat or ugly or that they are going root her...meh, I say good luck to them - she'd tear them a new arsehole, one tough lady that one.

Ah the good ol days...

[Finn]

Know a guy who was slightly pissed at Maccas after a stockcar meeting,a dwarf(is this pc)walked into the place,Bruce decided to tell his mate queitly "that's what happens when ya pull out of a root",unfortunately everyone heard it.

The ironic thing about that story is your stockcar mate was more than likely the offspring from his sister. Next time you try to insult short people, try not to involve inbreeds and McDonalds.

[ynot slow]

The ironic thing about that story is your stockcar mate was more than likely the offspring from his sister. Next time you try to insult short people, try not to involve inbreeds and McDonalds.

Get a life mate,it was meant as a joke at the time.Apparently he apologised to the guy,and all was fine when they left.What the idiot(driver) did was think it was another drivers' crew member in a car behind them at the burger outlet,and the little guy gave the driver a wicked practical joke wind up,driver thought yep payback,the odds of two guys similar height and such at food centre were million to one shot.

[Gubb]

Cocksnorter.

[short-circuit]

Cocksnorter.

Ham wallet

[Number One]

:lol: pure poetry Gubb ;)

[Maha]

Someone once said to me...''Jeez Mark, did your mother knit you''??....:confused:

[Number One]

''Jeez Mark, did your mother knit you''??....:confused:
Chewbacca is that you?

[Maha]

Chewbacca is that you?

Furbee I think you'll find.....:laugh:
Bastards!!!

[ynot slow]

Cocaine cowboy.

Shirt lifter.

Have seen bigger lumps in my pancake mix than your tits.

[EJK]

Ah something just reminded me an insult I got when I was at an intermediate school.

"Asians got a small dick!"

[wbks]

Ah something just reminded me an insult I got when I was at an intermediate school.

"Asians got a small dick!"Ouch...

10chrs

[Pedrostt500]

I like to give insults straight to peoples face's, and normaly to apprentice Fitter Welders.
Does your dad cry every time he see's a condom advert, then look at you and say "why"?.
You are just a cockless cuntless wonder.
Fuck you fuck, your horse you rode in on, and fuck the colonel that sent you.
You're as thick as pig shit and twice as runny.
NASA developed the space probe to see if there was inteligent life on Mars, they first tested it in your head and found no inteligence what so ever.
Is incest the game your whole family plays?
Calling some one a "true intulectual" when they have done some thing realy stupid.
The other one is, a few bars of the theme tune to The Muppet Show, Da da did da diid dit da da did da.

Now I've worked in some fairly tough places with some hard men over the years, but the biggest eyeopener for me years ago, I had to do a couple of hours work with some older ladies, the youngest about 50, and the eldest in her mid 70s, it was the best lesson a young man could get in the art of insults, those old girls did not hold back.

[Indiana_Jones]

Cock knocker

Knob Jockey

-Indy

[NordieBoy]

My form 1 teacher once told mum that if I was her son she'd kill herself.

I was quite proud of that :woohoo:

[Swoop]

Who called the chef a bastard?Who called the bastard a chef? Good line from a classic movie eh.
A movie? I thought it was a Spike Milligan description of army cooks, during his WW2 exploits.

[ynot slow]

A movie? I thought it was a Spike Milligan description of army cooks, during his WW2 exploits.

Could well be from him first,never heard him say it,but he did have profound things to say at times.

Think it might have been Blazing Saddles,stand corrected.

[martybabe]

1.You look like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every fuggin branch on the way down

2.The best part of you dribbled down your mom's leg!