How do I ask a girl out?

[Reido]

Ok so I met this girl at a party last week.
Couple nights later I went clubbing with her.
Then the other night we went to the movies.

Anyway, she is coming over today to watch a movie or something.

So how do I ask her to be my girlfriend?

Best answer wins bling
Funniest answer wins bling too

(well for one thing I shouldn't show her the explosions and boobs thread XD )

Go KB go

[Leyton]

Son,

Just show her your R6 and she will get the message :). Just don't tell her you ride Yamaha, she might confuse that with Yamumma. And that is not a hit with the ladez... atleast south of Whangarai anyways.

Try my method, dry humping until she gives in... LOL j/k.

Show her some mild intimacy and see if she will make the first move :)

Good luck son.

Leyton

[DarkLord]

Bring on the awesome pick up lines...

"You have 206 bones in your body. Want another one?"

Can't lose with that :woohoo:

[Big Dan]

be honest and tell her how you feel

maybe a little romantic gesture might go down well

just be yourself and honest right from the start and she'll respect that and you


mind you i've learnt that the female sex can be rather confusing :P

[Rayray401]

ask her if she likes your arse six..lol

[p.dath]

7 days later and you want her to be your girlfriend huh?

How about you start by telling her that you really enjoy her company, and you'd like to hang out with her more, and see how it goes from there.

[Indiana_Jones]

Stick your dick in her

if she doesn't struggle, you're in......in more ways then one ;)

-Indy

[Deano]

You've already gone out a few times so she must be interested.

How about give her a cuddly toy with a cheesy lovey dovey phrase or question on it ? "Will you be my sweet heart" or some such thing.

Failing that, get her pissed, watch some porn and get it on !!

[EJK]

Good luck yo!

Oh how about this. Take more time and be very kind to her. When enough time has gone by, she may ask you to be your boyfriend. In that way you don't have to ask her out! She will do the trick!

[kave]

Alcohol.




10 chars

[Leyton]

How about give her a cuddly toy with a cheesy lovey dovey phrase or question on it ? "Will you be my sweet heart" or some such thing.



Now say that in your head, but in Ralphs voice off the simpons "Will you be my sweet heart"

[Big Dan]

This thread is going to go viral ( hopefully not in the sexual viral way)

[Reido]

Lol Bling issued.

KB never fails me :woohoo:

[R6_kid]

After having sex for the first time, tell her you love her.

[McWild]

Whip it out halfway through the movie.


At least you'll know.

[EJK]

...Oh and most of all, tell us what happened in the end yo.

This thread is gonna be great!

[Leyton]

After having sex for the first time, tell her you love her. ^-- Unless it is the first date :P

[Big Dan]

...Oh and most of all, tell us what happened in the end yo.

This thread is gonna be great!

Set up a web cam and send us the link - ya know american pie styles:rockon:


just don't blow ya load too early

[PrincessBandit]

Give her the big puppy-dog eyes and tell her you need a good home and kind owner....

[Trudes]

Sing this to her

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeWAdzFmI10&sns=em

[T.W.R]

Whip it out halfway through the movie.


At least you'll know.


Ask her if she wants a dicken's cider :shifty:

[Reido]

I'm thinking I should just show her this thread

[Hiflyer]

Make sure you don't already have a GF and it'll be sweeeet :P

[Reido]

Make sure you don't already have a GF and it'll be sweeeet :P

ummm.... check!

[Big Dave]

Whip it out halfway through the movie.


At least you'll know.

1975 - Red Symonds:

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[Laxi]

tell her you love her.

NOOOOOO! DON'T DO IT!!!:bash:

[R6_kid]

Sing this to her

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeWAdzFmI10&sns=em

or this:

pY8jaGs7xJ0

[Crasherfromwayback]

Tell her you'd like to do white wees up her front bum

[Tank]

So how do I ask her to be my girlfriend?



I think the whole "will you be my girlfriend?" thing stops at age 13.

First thing you need to know before you do anything is "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman - is she the 'one' - do I want to marry her"?

If the answer is "No" - then you are looking for someone completley different. In short - if she isnt the one you want to marry - you want the dirtiest, horniest, free minded chick that you can get your hands on. Someone that will do things that would land you in jail in most countries. A girl that has no limits on what she is willing to do for a good time.

A girl that after a few beers will make out with hir girlfriends in front of you - simply for your viewing pleasure.

So assuming this isnt the girl you want to marry - when you sit down on the sofa - whip out the 'ol fella and see what happens.

If you think she is the one you want to marry - well then do the same and just hope she's not like that with another dozen guys.

[scissorhands]

Be yourself, be as relaxed and funny as possible without seeming like a try hard, have a beer-only one, not too much!

On the sofa, get close, touch her arm or leg or so to test the water and see if she moves away, or not.... I usually try to place a hand somewhere innocent (usually a forearm)so we can be 'connected' and see how the energy flows between you both.

Her name isnt Ivanka by chance?

[Mrs Busa Pete]

After having sex for the first time, tell her you love her.

Arn't you supposed to tell her you love her before sex :innocent:






[
QUOTE=p.dath;1129579415]
How about you start by telling her that you really enjoy her company, and you'd like to hang out with her more, and see how it goes from there.[/QUOTE]

I like this option :yes: Besides i didn't know that guys still asked girls to be there girlfriends i thought that went out with the ark

[RC1]

First thing you need to know before you do anything is "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman - is she the 'one' - do I want to marry her"?

WTF he only wants a girlfriend not a wife :weird:

[EJK]

This is for you


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[avgas]

Say nothing
Introduce her to Vodka.

Tis how I met my wife, we have been a couple since 2001.

[Tank]

WTF he only wants a girlfriend not a wife :weird:

Yes - that was the point of my post - wasnt drop the lovey dovey (you aint gonna marry her) and get a fun time dirty girl.

[R6_kid]

Say nothing
Introduce her to Vodka.

Tis how I met my wife, we have been a couple since 2001.

Is she still drunk?

[roogazza]

Put it in her hand and cry on her shoulder.

[EJK]

Anyway, she is coming over today ......


Is she here yet?

[avgas]

Is she still drunk?

Nope - married
Who says slave labour is dead

[scissorhands]

if you get unwanted erections

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VAV-o3Ld0U

[Ferkletastic]

Chill Winston, you don't need to ask her out, just be calm and relaxed and see what happens.

You don't need to label a relationship, with time it'll label itself. Don't be stressing about making a move or asking questions, just enjoy her company and see what happens.

Or just whip it out and quote Requiem for a dream:

"I know it's pretty darlin', but I didn't take it out for air.."

[martybabe]

Right son, no one ever told me this but I'm gonna do you a favour and give you the benefit of my 52 years of intensive study of the fairer sex.

I've been frustrated, confused and bewildered by sisters, mothers, girlfriends, wives, lovers, witches and bitches. They want you to know the answers without ever giving you the question, you have to guess what they're thinking but if you do they change it. What they love now they will hate in two minutes time, when you figure out what it is that they hate, and agree with them, they will instantly love it again..........

I could go on for hours man, they as a species are way to complex for us men to figure out, as a young man you've got no chance so I'm gonna help you jump the queue of life lessons of the Female variety. Come closer, honestly this is the real secret to women,Closer still, If you want the girl to be your girlfriend :psst: ask her to be your girlfriend It's that bleedin simple,Don't be scared it's easy, honestly, you could spend weeks pithering and dithering about asking her, trust me life is to short, ask her and do it now, despite the above she is just the same as you,just a person in a skirt, ASK HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND MAKE BABIES, OR NOT :D,THE CLOCK IS TICKING! :yes:

[slofox]

Indie's reply gets my bling...:rofl:

Close second place to McWild...

Well done lads.

[crazyhorse]

........probably not a good idea to ask if she swallows then?...... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :killingme She'd probably run a mile :rofl:

[James Deuce]

Oh FFS just ask.

[Stirts]

Indie's reply gets my bling...:rofl:

Close second place to McWild...

Well done lads.

Yeah McWild would've got my vote for .........

How Not to Win Girls and Influence Them.

WHY THE FARK WOULD YOU WHIP IT OUT HALFWAY?!!?! :rolleyes: :shifty:

[Tank]

Whip it out halfway through the movie.


At least you'll know.

FWIW - thats a bad call if you are watching brokeback mountian

[Mikkel]

Ask her if she's got some good looking female friends who are looking for "some action".

[Lord Pac]

Forget bf / gf...

tap and tag....tap and tag...

[Grasshopperus]

1: "Cut a hole in a box"
2: "Put your junk in that box"
3: "Make her open the box... and that's the way you do it!"

Because females LOVE equating a relationship with sex

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[slofox]

Funniest thread I have read in a while...:rofl:

[Juzz976]

Women need sex to feel loved, men tell women they love them to get sex.

Do the shifty sideways glance at her next time you see her and tell her how good she looks. Play it out a bit longer too early for bf/gf stuff.

[allycatz]

Wow some of you are dodgy wee fellows......my 2c worth, keep it subtle but let her know you are interested in seeing her again. Maybe suggest a few things to do in the near future. If shes washing her hair on all those days I guess shes not really interested

[ManDownUnder]

Nice norks, do they get out much?

[SPORK]

Put on some shades and act real cool. Chill as a cucumber is the key.

Then get her drunk. Simple!

[ManDownUnder]

If you are serious, just tell her you like her and you'd like to go out again some time. Then ask - what does she think?

No need to be clever, witty, someone else etc. Just be you, and be honest.

[Forest]

Whip it out and put it on her leg.

You'll get an answer, one way or another.

[crazyhorse]

Well.......... how did you get on? Wasn't she comin over to watch a movie or something? Maybe staying the night too??????

Come on, kiss and tell :Oops:

[Ronin]

After having sex for the first time, tell her you love her.

During young Padwan, During.

[NinjaNanna]

Don't dick around so long as to fall into the friends catagory, once that happens your screwed - and I don't mean literally

[Stirts]

Well.......... how did you get on? Wasn't she comin over to watch a movie or something? Maybe staying the night too??????

Come on, kiss and tell :Oops:

Now now, his last post was at 13:20. He then would have gone and had a shower to wash his balls in fevent anticipation that she might just lick them.

They probably have only just started watching the movie so if all is going well he should be tracking riiiiiiiiiiight about here (http://img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n46/n232078.jpg)

[huff3r]

Yeah McWild would've got my vote for .........

How Not to Win Girls and Influence Them.

WHY THE FARK WOULD YOU WHIP IT OUT HALFWAY?!!?! :rolleyes: :shifty:

Yeah, fully... halfway is such bad timing, just start with it out :lol:

Or ask if she'd like to sit on your lap and you can talk about the first thing that "pops" up :lol:

[crazyhorse]

Now now, his last post was at 13:20. He then would have gone and had a shower to wash his balls in fevent anticipation that she might just lick them.

They probably have only just started watching the movie so if all is going well he should be tracking riiiiiiiiiiight about here (http://img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n46/n232078.jpg)

:rofl: :rofl: That's good! :killingme

[Genie]

sounds like she is your gf ....third date? Just have fun and don't put a label on your relationship. Life's short, just keep on enjoying each others company. Relax. she must fancy you otherwise there would never have been date 2.

[Dean]

Mate how could I miss this thread!!

Its not who I think it is right? You know......... because if it isnt and this one doesent work out you'd go so good together with her.

You can borrow my jacket too if you want to take her for a ride just chuck me a pm and head over.
Got your back ;)

[Squiggles]

This is for you


:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[gatch]

Man if you've been to the movies and hung out some then you are either the big brother she always wanted and you have absolutely no chance...

Or she thinks you are ok and wants your penis in, or somewhere around her mouth.

I hope its the second option.

In saying that, here is some things are doomed to fail, but would be funny all the same..

Ask if she would like to see your dick tricks, or your dildo collection, tell her she is hot - like porno hot. Make a joke about having a 3 way with one of her hot friends, then get very very interested if she doesn't storm out in a rage..

good luck

[Crasherfromwayback]

"part ya beef curtains and let my bluenose sniff ya guts"

Utter class and never fails to impress

[EJK]

OK what movie exactly are you gonna watch with her? Perhaps Rambo 4? Borat? Judge Dredd?
Just curious :lol:

[mynameis]

Flop it out and slap it on her forehead.

Get yourself comfortable and cuddly on her boobs at the movies.

[martybabe]

"part ya beef curtains and let my bluenose sniff ya guts"

Utter class and never fails to impress

Beautiful, who said romance was dead :laugh:

[retro asian]

Flop it out and slap it on her forehead.



Nah, that will never work....surprise Bukkakke her! :sweatdrop

[Cr1MiNaL]

Touch her as much as you can. Then touch some more. Ge her to kiss you then pull away. If she want's to fuck you tonight make out with her get her real horny and kiss her goodnight and drop her off home. Then watch her fuck you senseless! Remember she needs to stack up in your books, not you in hers. Good luck!!!

[P38]

Touch her as much as you can. Then touch some more. Ge her to kiss you then pull away. If she want's to fuck you tonight make out with her get her real horny and kiss her goodnight and drop her off home. Then watch her fuck you senseless! Remember she needs to stack up in your books, not you in hers. Good luck!!!

I'm picking with those classy moves your still a virgin...... Right!!!! :yes:

[Genie]

I'm picking with those classy moves your still a virgin...... Right!!!! :yes:

i'm wondering with all this wonderful advice just how many have loving relationships?

[P38]

i'm wondering with all this wonderful advice just how many have loving relationships?

yep.....................

[Ronin]

Got your back ;)

So he's bi then?

He may want to wait a while before he lets that one out of the bag.

[zahria]

After having sex for the first time, tell her you love her.

That does NOT work!!! (I ran a mile):sick:

[Mom]

Thank you for some of the best laughs I have had on here in ages.

You are all wrong of course, there is only one way to get someone to be your girlfriend. Honestly, only one.

You need to arrange for a full orchestra to be set up at the next place you somehow find yourselves together, they need to be playing

this

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For those that dont recognise it, here is the original

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While this is playing, just lay your head on her shoulder and make puppy eyes at her, reckon you will be sweet as :yes:

[Ooky]

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[Thaeos]

Ok so I met this girl at a party last week.
Couple nights later I went clubbing with her.
Then the other night we went to the movies.

Anyway, she is coming over today to watch a movie or something.

So how do I ask her to be my girlfriend?

Best answer wins bling
Funniest answer wins bling too

(well for one thing I shouldn't show her the explosions and boobs thread XD )

Go KB go

Haven't read any of the other replies, but just be straight up about it.

No bullshit, just something like, 'Hey I've really liked spending time with you lately and I've got a pretty big thing for you. It's in my pants'.

No but seriously ... something like the first sentence. See what she says, if she's receptive then just be like, 'awesome, so do you wanna go out with me?'.

Just straight up and confident about it. And if she turns you down don't be all like nooooooo pleaseeee why NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! And cry about it. That will just turn her away even more.

[Rayray401]

Just, shut up, not say a word, then when the tension gets too much, just ask "so how about it then?"

[R6_kid]

That does NOT work!!! (I ran a mile):sick:
Haha. If he was to say that the response will either be :shutup::blink: or :heart::love:

You obviously responded the first way.

[martybabe]

i'm wondering with all this wonderful advice just how many have loving relationships?

Me, I love the bride I do, unfortunately She would rather smoke her pipe and watch Coronation street than shag me 24/7 but..... at the end of the day when she takes her teeth out and puts on her fejoa and all bran facepack and slips into her full length sleeping dress and matching socks, she's one hot mofo and she's all mine :eek5::sweatdrop :laugh:

If I never post again, it will of course mean she's read this post and Killded me. :yes:

So what's the bloomin news, I could have learnt how to ask her to be my girlfriend in five different languages by now:wait:

[Genie]

Me, I love the bride I do, unfortunately She would rather smoke her pipe and watch Coronation street than shag me 24/7 but..... at the end of the day when she takes her teeth out and puts on her fejoa and all bran facepack and slips into her full length sleeping dress and matching socks, she's one hot mofo and she's all mine :eek5::sweatdrop :laugh:

If I never post again, it will of course mean she's read this post and Killded me. :yes:

So what's the bloomin news, I could have learnt how to ask her to be my girlfriend in five different languages by now:wait:

oh thank you...LMAO

[Skyryder]

Asking someone to be your girlfiend is like asking for sex. Ya just don't do it..............it happens or it 'dont.'


Skyryder

[P38]

I'm picking with those classy moves your still a virgin...... Right!!!! :yes:

Cr1MiNaL

Red Rep is a dead give away mate!

Musta been close to the mark aye :yes:

[EJK]

So how did ya go??

<img border="4" width="640" src="http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=155376&stc=1&d=1261374945" />

[nudemetalz]

Tell her you're a computer programmer. Tell her she's able to make your software turn to hardware...

[marty]

while walking on the beach i've had 'do you want to take me back to your place and fuck me?'

straight to the point :)

good times.

[The Stranger]

Arn't you supposed to tell her you love her before sex :innocent:



No way, you need to check out the merchandise before you buy.

[SixPackBack]

while walking on the beach i've had 'do you want to take me back to your place and fuck me?'

straight to the point :)

good times.

Fucken honda riders.......You get a return date on the lady boy, or did he just 'love you long time':blink:

[Dean]

while walking on the beach i've had 'do you want to take me back to your place and fuck me?'.

Are you telling the truth or telling fibs, hmmmm.

[Mrs Busa Pete]

No way, you need to check out the merchandise before you buy.

But she's not going to make uless you tell her you ;love her.

[White trash]

Sell her a new bike. Then invite her down for a party and feed her a heap of Jack Daniels. Then stuff something up her.

Worked for me.

[Reido]

Well.......... how did you get on? Wasn't she comin over to watch a movie or something? Maybe staying the night too??????

Come on, kiss and tell :Oops:

Oki so she just left,
and its now labled a relationship :woohoo:
She cant stay cause she has work early tomorrow =[


I showed her this thread after said labling was done and we had a bit of a laugh at the replies, thanks KB

[Trudes]

Don't thank us, just invite us to the wedding!;)

[White trash]

Oki so she just left,
and its now labled a relationship :woohoo:
She cant stay cause she has work early tomorrow =[


I showed her this thread after said labling was done and we had a bit of a laugh at the replies, thanks KB
Did you get a blowey?

[Insanity_rules]

Well done mate, I was going to share my favourite line. Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some? You wouldn't believe how many times its worked.

Once I had a a Girl come bouncing up to me and ask if I wanted to see her tatoo. She had a tramp stamp with the words "Head down, bum up, thats the way I like to fuck". Then she said so how about it?

[Sidewinder]

pretty fucking easy. you just ask her out!

[oldrider]

I think the whole "will you be my girlfriend?" thing stops at age 13.

First thing you need to know before you do anything is "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman - is she the 'one' - do I want to marry her"?

If the answer is "No" - then you are looking for someone completley different. In short - if she isnt the one you want to marry - you want the dirtiest, horniest, free minded chick that you can get your hands on. Someone that will do things that would land you in jail in most countries. A girl that has no limits on what she is willing to do for a good time.

A girl that after a few beers will make out with hir girlfriends in front of you - simply for your viewing pleasure.

So assuming this isnt the girl you want to marry - when you sit down on the sofa - whip out the 'ol fella and see what happens.

If you think she is the one you want to marry - well then do the same and just hope she's not like that with another dozen guys.

If your mind is fuzzed up with the above, go and have a look at her mom, if you don't like the look of her, hit the road Jack! :yes: :eek5:

[jeffs]

Fucken honda riders.......You get a return date on the lady boy, or did he just 'love you long time':blink:

Now I'm a Honda boy, and I know where you live lover boy :)

[PrincessBandit]

If your mind is fuzzed up with the above, go and have a look at her mom, if you don't like the look of her, hit the road Jack! :yes: :eek5:

Hahaha, I wonder how many guys have been put off a potential girlfriend by doing just that!!! lol

[jeffs]

If your mind is fuzzed up with the above, go and have a look at her mom, if you don't like the look of her, hit the road Jack! :yes: :eek5:

That is why the Italians are dieing out :)

[SixPackBack]

Now I'm a Honda boy, and I know where you live lover boy :)

You're safe. Family get an eternal pardon. See you on the 24Th buddy.:2thumbsup

[jeffs]

Even If I've never owned a suzuki ? See y then :)

[SMOKEU]

Get her pissed then ask her if you can lick her fanny.

[jeffs]

I've heard girls like foreplay, try starting with a "hello and a smile ", and if shes french, then move onto running your fingers lightly through her arm pit hair :)

[Naki Rat]

If your mind is fuzzed up with the above, go and have a look at her mom, if you don't like the look of her, hit the road Jack! :yes: :eek5:

Best bit of advice in the thread IMO.

[Dean]

Get a Tan mate then learn a bit of Maori, train a bit at the gym then impersonate my Identical step brother Hosea Gear the guy with his shirt off in this video XD lol. Women love the Maori men XD

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[wbks]

Get a Tan mate then learn a bit of Maori, train a bit at the gym then impersonate my Identical step brother Hosea Gear the guy with his shirt off in this video XD lol. Women love the Maori men XD

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uHW1K2LeQXE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uHW1K2LeQXE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>what the fuck is it with you about guys taking their shirts off?

[Cr1MiNaL]

Cr1MiNaL

Red Rep is a dead give away mate!

Musta been close to the mark aye :yes:

I red reped you because I think your a wanker! And your right I'm a virgin. I never get any. :sweatdrop

[P38]

I red reped you because I think your a wanker! And your right I'm a virgin. I never get any. :sweatdrop

Hahahahaha

Fair enough!

[Dean]

what the fuck is it with you about guys taking their shirts off?

Its a warrior thing, you got to have the heart of a lion and the ferociousness of a great white shark:yes:.

[firefighter]

Oki so she just left,
and its now labled a relationship :woohoo:
She cant stay cause she has work early tomorrow =[


I showed her this thread after said labling was done and we had a bit of a laugh at the replies, thanks KB

So, what line did you use?

Sit on my face and i'll guess ya weight?

[jeffs]

Its a warrior thing, you got to have the heart of a lion and the ferociousness of a great white shark:yes:.

And the agility of a parrot, nicking window screen wiper blades in the snow :)

[telliman]

build a cage under your house, be sure to sound proof it so no neighbours can here her screams for help, when she comes over drug her,slip a little goody in her drink or something, once she's out cold and you've had your merry way, drag her down to the dungeon (i mean cage) and mission accomplished,
would save alot of drama and perhaps a potentially an awkward moment. let us know how you get on!!!

[jeffs]

build a cage under your house, be sure to sound proof it so no neighbours can here her screams for help, when she comes over drug her,slip a little goody in her drink or something, once she's out cold and you've had your merry way, drag her down to the dungeon (i mean cage) and mission accomplished,
would save alot of drama and perhaps a potentially an awkward moment. let us know how you get on!!!

I'm not letting you go out with my sister again.

[wbks]

I'm not letting you go out with my sister again.


build a cage under your house, be sure to sound proof it so no neighbours can here her screams for help, when she comes over drug her,slip a little goody in her drink or something, once she's out cold and you've had your merry way, drag her down to the dungeon (i mean cage) and mission accomplished,
would save alot of drama and perhaps a potentially an awkward moment. let us know how you get on!!!=lulz


Its a warrior thing, you got to have the heart of a lion and the ferociousness of a great white shark:yes:.lol I wouldn't know, not lucky enough to have that "warrior gene" lol

[sosman]

Why ask her to be yr girlfriend?...Why don't ya just do more stuff together & one thing will lead to another?

[telliman]

Why ask her to be yr girlfriend?...Why don't ya just do more stuff together & one thing will lead to another?

ahaha, this reminds me of a saying made famous by myself, "just root her bro"

[Dean]

=lulz

lol I wouldn't know, not lucky enough to have that "warrior gene" lol

Do we need to go on about the Maori Battalion, you dont want to go there, they definately didnt posses the agility of a parrot in the war now did they. Opps I went there:Oops:

[wbks]

Do we need to go on about the Maori Battalion, you dont want to go there, they definately didnt posses the agility of a parrot in the war now did they. Opps I went there:Oops:Not sure what you're talking about I was just laughing at the "warrior gene" thing.

[jeffs]

Do we need to go on about the Maori Battalion, you dont want to go there, they definately didnt posses the agility of a parrot in the war now did they. Opps I went there:Oops:

I can't do the Haka because I can't tan. If I took of my shirt to do the Haka, 30 seconds later I'd just look like a sun burned , fat white boy, doing bad disco :)

Good haka video :)

[Dean]

Not sure what you're talking about I was just laughing at the "warrior gene" thing.

Dont worry I was just having another pull of your leg.

No worries Jeffs, If anyone had a body like Hosea Gears you wouldnt need to ask the lady to be her gf she would be on you in a flash.

[short-circuit]

Get her pissed then ask her if you can lick her fanny.

Quality tactics

[gatch]

If everybody had a body like Hose Gear, woman would be staying away in droves..

They would be going "where did all these identical dead bodies come from".

[short-circuit]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uHW1K2LeQXE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uHW1K2LeQXE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Now that is embarrassing - what a fag...only in rugby union

[carver]

Son,

Just show her your R6 and she will get the message :). Just don't tell her you ride Yamaha, she might confuse that with Yamumma. And that is not a hit with the ladez... atleast south of Whangarai anyways.

Try my method, dry humping until she gives in... LOL j/k.

Show her some mild intimacy and see if she will make the first move :)

Good luck son.

Leyton

that will work if she is a he.
just look up "scooter culture"

[Dean]

Now that is embarrassing - what a fag...only in rugby union

I'm parramatta eels supporter here, Melbourne storm are a bunch of fags I hate them. You know (no joke) Ive got a cousin with a contract in the West Tigers he's doing pretty good for himself. To bad he's in a shit team.


And to ask a chick out in a different way, say it in German or Maori and let them go off and find out the translation. :yes:

[SixPackBack]

Plagiarized from another site....the first date!

Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...

Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a sh!t really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.





















I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??



http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss302/Malodrax/fuuu1.jpg







So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!

http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss302/Malodrax/fuuuu2.jpg






So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.


http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss302/Malodrax/fuuuuuu.jpg


http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss302/Malodrax/fuuuu3.jpg




I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:

http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss302/Malodrax/fuuuu4.jpg


http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss302/Malodrax/fuuu5.jpg


I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....

http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss302/Malodrax/fuuu6.jpg






At that point things get even worse...


http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss302/Malodrax/fuuu7.jpg


The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.










All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.




anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?

[Big Dan]

we need a pic of this girl

[wbks]

If everybody had a body like Hose Gear, woman would be staying away in droves..

They would be going "where did all these identical dead bodies come from".What? Confusing names here?

[jeffs]

Plagiarized from another site....the first date!



Sorry I did not read the first line, and I thought it was you that had gone through this, so by the time I'd got to the bottom, I had made my mind up.

Sixpack, you aint ever using my bathroom again ;(

[Forest]

Sorry I did not read the first line, and I thought it was you that had gone through this, so by the time I'd got to the bottom, I had made my mind up.

Sixpack, you aint ever using my bathroom again ;(

In case anybody doesn't want to read the wall of text, here is the animated version.

http://i48.tinypic.com/ne88hw.jpg

[scissorhands]

that will work if she is a he.
just look up "scooter culture"

sounds like you've been there a bit eh Carver?

[jeffs]

[QUOTE=Forest;1129580658]In case anybody doesn't want to read the wall of text, here is the animated version.



Don't care, for looking it up, he's not using my bathroom :)

[Slyer]

You showed her this thread? You fool!
One must show no weakness!

[SPORK]

Q: Hey guys how do I show a girl I am both socially inept and lack confidence in one single move?

A: Show her this thread, of course!

[Juzz976]

Jam it up her ass, easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Can't marmelade it up there, Jam is better.

[crazyhorse]

OMG - I haven't cried so much whilst reading this that I could hardly focus on reading the story. Lucky I'd already been to the toilet, or I would''ve pissed myself as I laughed sooooo much........................ :rofl:

It was brilliant. Thanks SPB for starting my day so humourously :killingme

p.s Glad to hear the date went well and you are now in a relationship Reido :niceone:

[kit]

OMG - I haven't cried so much whilst reading this that I could hardly focus on reading the story. Lucky I'd already been to the toilet, or I would''ve pissed myself as I laughed sooooo much........................ :rofl:

It was brilliant. Thanks SPB for starting my day so humourously :killingme

p.s Glad to hear the date went well and you are now in a relationship Reido :niceone:

+1 on that, That was F***ing Funny!

[Slyer]

Q: Hey guys how do I show a girl I am both socially inept and lack confidence in one single move?

A: Show her this thread, of course!
I reckon. But then if she's after Reido she might like those qualities... :bleh:

[Reido]

I reckon. But then if she's after Reido she might like those qualities... :bleh:

Hey what are you saying! :angry2:

Wait you might have a point :sweatdrop

:lol:

[Slyer]

I can't believe nobody has asked this yet, it being KB and all.
Photos or it didn't happen.

[slofox]

This has to be thread of the year. Best laugh I've had in months...

[PrincessBandit]

or this:



Post #27 "If that's what you're into".... It's on my iPod. I'm sure you'd score extra points for singing :laugh:

[Big Dan]

I can't believe nobody has asked this yet, it being KB and all.
Photos or it didn't happen.

bet you too it sorry

[wbks]

Oki so she just left,
and its now labled a relationship :woohoo:
She cant stay cause she has work early tomorrow =[


I showed her this thread after said labling was done and we had a bit of a laugh at the replies, thanks KBShe said she had work early the next morning after you showed her the thread, right...

[Genie]

you showed her!!! oh that is so funny, congrats glad it's working for ya. Have a merry christmas with your new girlfriend.

[SPORK]

She said she had work early the next morning after you showed her the thread, right...
Exactly what I was thinking.

Girls interested in you don't leave early because they have work. They get fired for going to work late and bow-legged.

[Cr1MiNaL]

Exactly what I was thinking.

Girls interested in you don't leave early because they have work. They get fired for going to work late and bow-legged.

Totally! Agreed. I would not have showed her this thread. You poor noob.

[Thani-B]

Plagiarized from another site....the first date!

Do we get a link to the original site so we can read the replies to that?

[Dean]

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

[Mikkel]

Its a warrior thing, you got to have the heart of a lion and the ferociousness of a great white shark:yes:.

...and the intellect of a common garden snail.

[Leyton]

that will work if she is a he.
just look up "scooter culture"
Oh deer lord. hehe

[wbks]

Question for Reido: Did you show her the tags?!

[Maha]

Music is the answer, you have to know exactly what song will do it though, thats the only thinking that has to into this process.

Here is the song that did it for me...

First time I met Anne, after a few hours, I put this song on, asked her for a dance (slow and close) and the rest (as they say) is history...:love:


<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2XqkbBUa2o4&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2XqkbBUa2o4&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

The song has to perfect to suit your intentions, otherwise she could end up puking all over ya.

[Brownbikerbabe]

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed


You clever dove,
How can a girl NOT fall in love,
when a man writes poetry such as thus?
If my non mathmatical brains falling out
please clean up the muss.
I no doubt tried
to count to three
The answer there is clear to see
you do not need poetry
the only thing a girl wants to count
is your MONEY!

LOL...ah well...good luck!

[Mr Merde]

Best thing you can do is give the bishop a good thrashing.

You'll achieve the same result, a pair of empty sacks and in the long run it will be cheaper.

[Dean]

You clever dove,
How can a girl NOT fall in love,
when a man writes poetry such as thus?
If my non mathmatical brains falling out
please clean up the muss.
I no doubt tried
to count to three
The answer there is clear to see
you do not need poetry
the only thing a girl wants to count
is your MONEY!

LOL...ah well...good luck!

How gracious is thee.
Replying to me in poetry.
Your words am I in enslavement.
Bitter and sweet as a rose through the cracks of the pavement.
Money I do not need.
I grow in a garden full of weeds.
They try to break me down but clear do I see
Hell im on Kiwibiker Ive got all these douches trying to bait me.:D

Thankyou, good luck to you too.

[wbks]

How gracious is thee.
Replying to me in poetry.
Your words am I in enslavement.
Bitter and sweet as a rose through the cracks of the pavement.
Money I do not need.
I grow in a garden full of weeds.
They try to break me down but clear do I see
Hell im on Kiwibiker Ive got all these douches trying to bait me.:D

Thankyou, good luck to you too.fuck bitches get money I think we found the Maori fitty cent...

[gatch]

FUCK MONEY GET BITCHES !!

50 or fuck off.

peace

[Brownbikerbabe]

OMG! This is by far the funniest thread I have read in a looooong time, my stomach is hurting from laughing so hard!!! I haven't laughed like that in a long time! Thank you all!!!

[carver]

sounds like you've been there a bit eh Carver?


Oh deer lord. hehe

oh yeah, i wish!

[98tls]

Tell her about the Donkey punch,actually show her how it works,be the last time you shag her but it will without doubt be the best youve ever had.:2thumbsup

[Tank]

Its a warrior thing, you got to have the heart of a lion and the ferociousness of a great white shark:yes:.

you keep mentioning this warrior gene - but forget that:

1 - its normally used for cowards who beat their wife's and kids - there is nothing honorable in it.

2 - That you told us that you from from French Stock - so that makes you part garlic muching surrender monkey - hardly warrior material.

[wbks]

you keep mentioning this warrior gene - but forget that:

1 - its normally used for cowards who beat their wife's and kids - there is nothing honorable in it.

2 - That you told us that you from from French Stock - so that makes you part garlic muching surrender monkey - hardly warrior material.By the sounds of it you've got some of this warrior gene in yaself, slugger!

[CookMySock]

So how do I ask her to be my girlfriend?You don't. You chicken out and leave her for us filthy old bastards who know what we're doing. :2thumbsup

Steve

[Indiana_Jones]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FqjC1lIF1S8&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FqjC1lIF1S8&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

........She touch your penis?

-Indy

[Slyer]

If you want a guy to like you, touch him on the penis
OTQnUTgLssI

[Reido]

Question for Reido: Did you show her the tags?!

Lol, no i didnt XD im not that stupid



Photos or it didn't happen.
attached
From clubbing, I dont know who took the pic or how they got my phone, but w/e

[boman]

Try a line on her;

"How about you and me and nothing on but the radio?"

it has worked before. :crazy::wacko:

[Tank]

I dont know who took the pic or how they got my phone, but w/e

He's sure gota pureddy mouth.

[Tank]

Try a line on her;

"How about you and me and nothing on but the radio?"

it has worked for me before. :crazy::wacko:

fuck really ?? that worked??

pfft drunk chicks huh.

[Skyryder]

Try a line on her;

"How about you and me and nothing on but the radio?"

it has worked before. :crazy::wacko:

And then ask if she wants to dial your knob.:hug:


Skyryder

[Skyryder]

I haven't been fllowing this thread so what happened

Did she or didn't she..................say yes??:sweatdrop


Skyryder

[Reido]

I haven't been fllowing this thread so what happened

Did she or didn't she..................say yes??:sweatdrop


Skyryder

yes, she said yes :2thumbsup

[mynameis]

Is she knocked up yet.

[shafty]

But she's not going to make uless you tell her you ;love her.

It IS 2009! ;)

[Mrs Busa Pete]

It IS 2009! ;)

Well that is true. These days you only have to buy a lollie pop and they turn it up. lol

[Skyryder]

Is she knocked up yet.

Well he'd better be quick. If she finds out about this thread it'll be the other way 'round.'


Skyryder

[The Stranger]

Totally! Agreed. I would not have showed her this thread. You poor noob.

What would you recommend then?

I know, maybe he could hit on his mates' girlfriends, then get all septic, call them sluts and brag about his fictitious conquests etc when he gets turned down - multiple times.

Give it a try raj and let us know how it goes.

[Cr1MiNaL]

What would you recommend then?

I know, maybe he could hit on his mates' girlfriends, then get all septic, call them sluts and brag about his fictitious conquests etc when he gets turned down - multiple times.

Give it a try raj and let us know how it goes.

I don't know aye Noel. Perhaps he should listen to all the 19 year old girls he knows, ask them for their most valuable opinion, and make an informed decision based on that conclusive evidence. Sure works for some grown ups on here.

[SPORK]

Girls give the worst advice on girls ever.

Ignore 'em all, hunt down the girls with daddy issues and you'll have more strange than you know what to do with.

Case closed - ya'll can thank me later.

[Cr1MiNaL]

Girls give the worst advice on girls ever.

Ignore 'em all, hunt down the girls with daddy issues and you'll have more strange than you know what to do with.

Case closed - ya'll can thank me later.

Could not have said it better myself! Bling coming your way. Use your own brain mate, it's there for a reason.

[Thani-B]

Girls give the worst advice on girls ever.

Ignore 'em all, hunt down the girls with daddy issues and you'll have more strange than you know what to do with.

Case closed - ya'll can thank me later.

So actually knowing how other girls think doesn't help us at all when giving advice, according to you? Strange.

[Indiana_Jones]

Look, the only thing he needs to know is cock goes in the front door.

or the mouth if she doesn't shut up/the river is running red

-Indy

[Slyer]

Look, the only thing he needs to know is cock goes in the front door.

or the mouth if she doesn't shut up/the river is running red

-Indy
You know your posts would be funnier if they weren't all exactly the same every single time.

[Indiana_Jones]

You know your posts would be funnier if they weren't all exactly the same every single time.

But yet you continue to read them.....

Also toilet humour is the basis of our entire culture

-Indy

[TOTO]

So actually knowing how other girls think doesn't help us at all when giving advice, according to you? Strange.

helps, but you dont ask the cow how to make a burger

[Indiana_Jones]

helps, but you dont ask the cow how to make a burger

I like it

-Indy

[wbks]

So actually knowing how other girls think doesn't help us at all when giving advice, according to you? Strange.He's saying "most girls don't actually know what they want"

[SixPackBack]

I don't know aye Noel. Perhaps he should listen to all the 19 year old girls he knows, ask them for their most valuable opinion, and make an informed decision based on that conclusive evidence. Sure works for some grown ups on here.

If the choice is trusting the word of more than one person who have nothing to gain by raising the subject, over KB's very own pathological liar..........

[SPORK]

So actually knowing how other girls think doesn't help us at all when giving advice, according to you? Strange.
Girls give advice based on a loose combination of idealism, pop culture cliches and misinformation (also known as "a hunch").

wbks is also in the right direction.

[SixPackBack]

Girls give advice based on a loose combination of idealism, pop culture cliches and misinformation (also known as "a hunch").

wbks is also in the right direction.

People in general are not always sure what they want!.........For inexperienced men [boys?] to claim girls don't know what they want is erroneous horse shit.

People [in general] invariable know what they don't want. They include:

Liars.
Lack of mutual respect.
Dishonesty.
Chauvinism[listen up boys-a big one for ladies].
Egotistical toss pots.
Poor listeners.
......The list could go on but I'm sure you get the message!

[Str8 Jacket]

Dear God this thread is STILL going on. Just do what I did... Invited all my mates to a pub for my birthday drinks, got real pissed and jumped the guy I wanted in front of everyone. He couldn't say no and we're still together 2 and a half years later....

[wbks]

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]People in general are not always sure what they want!.........For inexperienced men [boys?] to claim girls don't know what they want is erroneous horse shit.I wasn't claiming anything at all, just pointing out what he was obviously hinting at

[Slyer]

Dear God this thread is STILL going on. Just do what I did... Invited all my mates to a pub for my birthday drinks, got real pissed and jumped the guy I wanted in front of everyone. He couldn't say no and we're still together 2 and a half years later....
Girls have it easy. As long as he doesn't think you're crazy, diseased or ugly you're in.
All men are whores, given the chance.

[Thani-B]

helps, but you dont ask the cow how to make a burger

:2thumbsup


Girls give advice based on a loose combination of idealism, pop culture cliches and misinformation (also known as "a hunch").

wbks is also in the right direction.

Or we could give advice based on our past experiences which could be similar and relate to the situation at hand.

[The Stranger]

I don't know aye Noel. Perhaps he should listen to all the 19 year old girls he knows, ask them for their most valuable opinion, and make an informed decision based on that conclusive evidence. Sure works for some grown ups on here.

Shit raj, you know, not sure of the ages of some of these people, but I haven't caught any of them lying yet.
Have you ever been caught out lying raj?

Think very carefully now as it's a long and exhaustive list.

[Cr1MiNaL]

Shit raj, you know, not sure of the ages of some of these people, but I haven't caught any of them lying yet.
Have you ever been caught out lying raj?

Think very carefully now as it's a long and exhaustive list.

Hmmm good point Noel, I do fib occasionally; however, I am right on this occasion.

What did she say to you when you showed her this thread Reido?

[Damon]

What did she say to you when you showed her this thread Reido?

How did you tell her about the thread?

"I was so nervous about asking you out that I went online and asked a bunch of strangers how to do it... wanna look?"

In my experience just keep doing your thing as normal, hang out a little and make a few subtle hints and then wait

[SPORK]

How did you tell her about the thread?

"I was so nervous about asking you out that I went online and asked a bunch of strangers how to do it... wanna look?"

In my experience just keep doing your thing as normal, hang out a little and make a few subtle hints and then wait

Hahaha the money I'd pay to have been a fly on the wall.

But yeah, you're right - except I'm not sure about the 'waiting' thing. When it gets to the point when the two of you are spending a lot of time one-on-one things tend fall into place.

[gatch]

So actually knowing how other girls think doesn't help us at all when giving advice, according to you? Strange.

I asked a girl for her help when I wanted to hook up with one of her friends, instead of helping me, she got fucked off cause she wanted my attention ha..

It worked itself out in the end hahahahaha

[The Stranger]

Hmmm good point Noel, I do fib occasionally; however, I am right on this occasion.


fib? occasionally?
But we should believe you this time.
Anyone for a tui? - and would you like honours with that?

[James Deuce]

fib? occasionally?
But we should believe you this time.
Anyone for a tui? - and would you like honours with that?

I'm with you. I nearly ruptured myself trying not to shoot beer out my nose all over my keyboard.

[Genie]

I'm with you. I nearly ruptured myself trying not to shoot beer out my nose all over my keyboard.

hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....beer!!:beer:

[James Deuce]

This whole thread could summarised easily.

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[Cr1MiNaL]

fib? occasionally?
But we should believe you this time.
Anyone for a tui? - and would you like honours with that?

I really couldn't give a rats arse if YOU believed me or not frankly!

[James Deuce]

So why react?

[Str8 Jacket]

So why react?

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/2009/06/cat-talk-to-the-hand.jpg

[SixPackBack]

So why react?

........Standard practice when he's caught out!

[Genie]

So why react?

one could say......Why bait the poor bastard?

[Str8 Jacket]

one could say......Why bait the poor bastard?

Cause one likes fishing?

[Trudes]

Because fish are yummy.

[Genie]

Cause one likes fishing?

hhahahahahahahahahaha....and as I have noticed fishing on KB is so easy. Wish it was easy down the sounds!!! I'd be eating fish for dinner

[inlinefour]

i'm wondering with all this wonderful advice just how many have loving relationships?

Yea I was thinking the same thing.

When I was younger and wanted to remain relatively single ----> Hang out with her and after a certian amount of time as her if she likes to fuck. If she says no, ask her if she minds lying down while I have one. Alcohol helps but is not necessary.

When I found a woman I wanted to hold on to ----> Be honest and tell her how I felt.

[James Deuce]

one could say......Why bait the poor bastard?

Shuddup!! Merry Christmas :)

[gatch]

one could say......Why bait the poor bastard?

Cause he's a cock..

[boomer]

........Standard practice when he's caught out!


ahhahaha

oh how i larfed. Any one for a bit of porridge stirring?? !!!

[Genie]

Cause he's a cock..

I'm with Trudes....I LOVE COCK!!!!

[Trudes]

In my defense, I do have to say I am a little selective as to the cocks I love. ;)

[Mr Merde]

As stated in previous posts.

Get a perm !!

Have a wank !!!

[Genie]

In my defense, I do have to say I am a little selective as to the cocks I love. ;)

oh yes....but I only love ONE!

[wbks]

oh yes....but I only love ONE! at a time????......

[Genie]

who added the "at a time" cheeky little shit! It's a spanking for you:spanking:

[Thani-B]

I asked a girl for her help when I wanted to hook up with one of her friends, instead of helping me, she got fucked off cause she wanted my attention ha..

It worked itself out in the end hahahahaha

Yeah well, that happens, we aren't usually too impressed when the object of our interest asks us for advice, so they can get with a different chick.



I really couldn't give a rats arse if YOU believed me or not frankly!

He (the above) talks so much shit he believes it himself. Only sees what he wants to see. It's quite pathetic really.

[carver]

how do you ask a guy out?

[wbks]

how do you ask a guy out?You touch him on the penis

(http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1129582101&postcount=171)

[carver]

I look forward to meeting some of you then

[davebullet]

Being a man of the world, I'll give you this bit of advice free young fella

Sounds severe... but it may work.

Lacerate your 100% all-beef thermometer and wait for it to heal.

Tell her you worked in Eastern Mongolia saving children from a war torn and savaged country (as well as helping old ladies across the road) and you got "injured" when a land mine went off.

When she asks where and insists you show her, then you flop it out and tell her under doctors orders you must root with it frequently to help restore it to normality. Tell her Queen and country and she'll be doing her part for the kids back in Mongolia.

Case closed. If that doesn't work, then I 100% guarantee she is a lesbian, or a nun. (In the case of nuns, quite a rare one as most of them are sick of cucumbers and are ready for it).

[wbks]

Lacerate your 100% all-beef thermometer and wait for it to heal.
You make that sound so routine... And FUN!

[SixPackBack]

Being a man of the world, I'll give you this bit of advice free young fella

Sounds severe... but it may work.

Lacerate your 100% all-beef thermometer and wait for it to heal.

Tell her you worked in Eastern Mongolia saving children from a war torn and savaged country (as well as helping old ladies across the road) and you got "injured" when a land mine went off.

When she asks where and insists you show her, then you flop it out and tell her under doctors orders you must root with it frequently to help restore it to normality. Tell her Queen and country and she'll be doing her part for the kids back in Mongolia.

Case closed. If that doesn't work, then I 100% guarantee she is a lesbian, or a nun. (In the case of nuns, quite a rare one as most of them are sick of cucumbers and are ready for it).

*Disclaimer*.........100% guaranteed to work applies to the following only:

The village slut.
An expensive and unusually tolerant prostitute.
IHC members.
Christ you young fuckers come up with some absolute gob shite.:oi-grr:

[Street Gerbil]

Originally Posted by Genie
i'm wondering with all this wonderful advice just how many have loving relationships?

Yea I was thinking the same thing.
[...]
When I found a woman I wanted to hold on to ----> Be honest and tell her how I felt.

If she is the right one, you will know straight away. The funny thing I never asked my wife to be my girlfriend. In fact I didn't even ask her to be my wife. A week after meeting her I asked: "so do you think we should get married?" and she replied "certainly". We got married two days afterwards. That conversation took place 11 years ago. Knocking on wood, still happy about it.

[Dodgyiti]

I have run out of bling for you lot, what a wonderful collection of suggestions.

Most of them fit into whats called the 9 slap principle- 9 will slap you and the 10th one will go out with you.

My thread fave : Stick your dick into her, if she struggles...... :killingme

[SPORK]

I asked a girl for her help when I wanted to hook up with one of her friends, instead of helping me, she got fucked off cause she wanted my attention ha..

It worked itself out in the end hahahahaha

Shoulda started dating the broad you didn't want to hook up with. Woman instantly flock to dudes with girlfriends - and homosexuals.

Which one applies to most KB members, well...

[Dean]

Look if you want a Girl so bad, really bad.
Then you must say this to her as a last resort, word for word. Taken by my man Tracy.

Could you take out one a ya titties and make me slide down a Mountain full of Razor Blades into a pool of Alcohol, climb a building butt naked and tongue kiss a lizard?

:blip::blip:

[Slyer]

You are truly a model human being, Dean.

[Reido]

well thats rather fucked up Dean.

anyways we're rather happy together :yes: so :bleh:

[PirateJafa]

well thats rather fucked up Dean.

anyways we're rather happy together :yes: so :bleh:

No, you fool - if you do the :bleh: first, then you'll be very happy (:yes:) together!

[gatch]

Shoulda started dating the broad you didn't want to hook up with. Woman instantly flock to dudes with girlfriends - and homosexuals.

Which one applies to most KB members, well...

God no, she was butter face..

Butter face as..

[Dean]

well thats rather fucked up Dean.

anyways we're rather happy together :yes: so :bleh:

Congrats man, If you ever need some help in the future on the coast you know who to call.

[mynameis]

Nothing like a little bitch fight in a love triangle

The Stranger/SPB loves Raj loves... :lol: :rofl:

[Thani-B]

Nothing like a little bitch fight in a love triangle

The Stranger/SPB loves Raj loves... :lol: :rofl:

...himself?

[mynameis]

...himself?

:lol:

Naah you ;)

[Thani-B]

:lol:

Naah you ;)

Fucking well hope not lol. Surely I've said no to him too many times already. Slow learner that one.

[mynameis]

Fucking well hope not lol. Surely I've said no to him too many times already. Slow learner that one.

I heard it was the other way around, aren't you a little too young for him ;) :p

[Foxzee]

I heard it was the other way around, aren't you a little too young for him ;) :p

Well that comment is going to start a rather large Fire on this thread isn't now......:shutup:

[gatch]

I asked a girl out once, she said "sure, I'd like that". We went outside, she beat the crap out of me..

Now I skip the small talk and go straight for the sex.