Swingers

[Tank]

Reading Cactus Kate this morning (Bloody good blogger) and she had a post on swinging:

http://asianinvasion2006.blogspot.com/2010/04/one-about-swingers.html#links

Got me thinking. Seriously - Is it something I could do? (Apart from being overweight and ugly so nobody would want me).

Upshot was no. I dont think I could or would want to. (apart from the standard male fantasy that the most beautiful women in the world all want to bed me at once - sweeeeeeet) I cannot imaging sharing my wife with another bloke - handing her around like a toy - that is not something that yells love and respect to me.:sick:

So boys and girls - your question for this morning: Swinging yes or no? :shifty: and why?

[MisterD]

Reading Cactus Kate this morning (Bloody good blogger)

I'm starting to think our RSS feeds must be pretty much identical...



So boys and girls - your question for this morning: Swinging yes or no? :shifty: and why?

I reckon it's a nice idea in fantasy theory (see under "Free Pass" thread) but a recipe for relationship disaster in practice.

There must be something about Texas though, I met a Texan colleague (from another division of an international company I used to work for) at a sales conference who told a blackly hilarious story of his recent divorce, which had been precipitated by an evening with their neighbours in their new jacuzzi...

[mashman]

No... One woman and 3 in waiting is more than enough for me thanks...

[Headbanger]

Fuck no, I'd share my wife with no man.

Wouldn't have got married if I had wanted that sort of relationship.

[whowhatwhere]

Currently no, but in the future, possibly - we have talked about it.

[Tank]

Currently no, but in the future, possibly - we have talked about it.

For a honest and frank assessment - please post a pic of your missus.

[whowhatwhere]

For a honest and frank assessment - please post a pic of your missus.

:shifty: You'd go there :)

[CookMySock]

Wouldn't have got married if I had wanted that sort of relationship.That is an easy mistake to make, but in not-so-many years you will discover the relationship you thought you were going to get is fantasy anyway.

The thing with relationships is, everyone dives into them with a clear line of thinking about that their rights and responsibilities are, and a good image of what they think they will get from it, and then spend the next twenty years beating their head on a brick wall trying to get it.

Even after just a few years the cracks begin to appear, and you mysteriously aren't getting what you hoped for, and your workload has seemingly tripled!

The bottom line is, at least 50% of what you think you will get, is a fantasy in your own mind, and your partner has other ideas - probably because you never actually asked them, or even because you were never aware you even expected that - you just acted it out without knowing it.

So why go there to begin with? Substantial honesty and self-awareness brings along concepts such as ;

- you don't own people
- placing your expectations on others will alienate you from them
- expecting "commitment" is more about your insecurities, rather than their loyalties
- sexual jealousy is more about fear of losing something that you "possess"(sic)

It goes on... if you want to study relationships that is..

It is fair to say, that in the initial stages of a relationship, stability is required and even useful while babies are being made. Later on, stability is like life with the handbrake on - counterproductive to what is useful, interesting, and stimulating.

Ask yourself what you believe. Ask yourself what do your rights extend to. You might be surprised what you believe.

Opinion! Cap/fits/wear. YMMV. Std disclaimer applies. I speak for myself and no-one else. Celebrate that we can choose!

Steve

[Tank]

That is an easy mistake to make, but in not-so-many years you will discover the relationship you thought you were going to get is fantasy anyway.
...
Even after just a few years the cracks begin to appear, and you mysteriously aren't getting what you hoped for, and your workload has seemingly tripled!

That may be the experience you have in your relationship - but that does not mean it happens to others. I have been married 15 years and we are happier now than ever. No cracks. and no workload required - its a pleasure.

Somehow I dont think that the puff, puff, pass approach with the wife would make my relationship any closer, easier or indeed fix any cracks.

[Tank]

:shifty: You'd go there :)

but not with you watching - I dont like to show off !

[MSTRS]

If 'you' get married for a dream, then I guess anything goes, because it's all just a dream anyway.
If you get married for love, anyone else is un-necessary...

[Bren]

What the heck has this thread got to do with sidecars???? Bugger wasted my time again....

[Headbanger]

That is an easy mistake to make, but in not-so-many years you will discover the relationship you thought you were going to get is fantasy anyway.

The thing with relationships is, everyone dives into them with a clear line of thinking about that their rights and responsibilities are, and a good image of what they think they will get from it, and then spend the next twenty years beating their head on a brick wall trying to get it.



Lmfao,Fuck you cocksucker,

If there is one thing you have proved over and over and over is you don't know shit,and nothing you say is worth listening to, This is because your a moron. There is no way in hell you can take your DB logic and apply it to anything to do with me or my outlook.

The worse thing is you think your onto something, Look at that shit you wrote. You think your clever.

Go puff some more weed, sell some more icr creams and think yourself enlightened because some other man is sticking his cock in your woman.

You have missed out on something that you can't even comprehend, and your trying to lecture others.FFS, Anyone can go out and get a fuck.

[Dooly]

When you're swinging is there enough time to wave?
Unless of course your a Harley person eh..........:shutup::msn-wink:

[rainman]

Reading Cactus Kate this morning (Bloody good blogger)...

Well, she has bad taste in politicians but she's usually funny and smart, so I'll give her that. I don't follow her feed but occasionally stop by to see what she's on about.


I have been married 15 years and we are happier now than ever. No cracks. and no workload required - its a pleasure.

Somehow I dont think that the puff, puff, pass approach with the wife would make my relationship any closer, easier or indeed fix any cracks.

Quite true, and broadly my experience as well (except we're 20 years :bleh:). Swinging (and similar pursuits) suffers from poor economics if you ask me - too much work for too little return.

[Stirts]

If 'you' get married for a dream, then I guess anything goes, because it's all about 'you' then.
If you get married for love, anyone else is un-necessary...

Exactly!!

In my opinion, people get into swinging out of pure laziness and boredom!!! Long-term relationships need to be constantly worked on by both parties, as the individuals grow and develop so to does the relationship. It certainly isn't easy at times, but it is farken worth it! I wouldn't risk what I have for a bit of cock on the side!

[oldrider]

Ha, "life", as you go on, if you delve a little deeper into yourself, you may be surprised to find out who you really are!

It may not be anything like the person you thought you were, you begin as the person your parents set you up to be and life experiences mould you from there on.

In a relationship you have to be honest with you self and each other and move forward together, helping each other find the things you need.

Life will then move you and your partner closer together (as in our case) or suggest that you each seek out new directions and/ or new partners in life.

Fantasy and reality are often poles apart be careful out there. :shifty:

[Tank]

- expecting "commitment" is more about your insecurities, rather than their loyalties
- sexual jealousy is more about fear of losing something that you "possess"(sic)


See this is where you make a HUGE mistake.

Most people dont "expect" commitment - thats what you look for in staff etc. The commitment in a marriage is something that is given willingly and with love - its a totally different thing. Nothing to do with insecurities in the slightest.

And only swingers see it as sexual jealousy - its not that most married people are scared of losing their partner that prevents them from swinging - its that they wouldn't want to share in an intimate way something they love.

[Headbanger]

- expecting "commitment" is more about your insecurities, rather than their loyalties
- sexual jealousy is more about fear of losing something that you "possess"(sic)

It goes on... if you want to study relationships that is..

Steve

Marriage is about standing before your family, friends, community and partner (and for some people before God) and making a commitment before them all as to how you feel, and pledging to hold your position through all that may prevail. This is done (hopefully) due to a deep love for your partner, and they in turn make the same commitment.

It can be something very powerful and worthwhile or it could all just end badly, But what sort of retarded fuck breaks that down to it being a fantasy based on insecurities due to sexual jealousy?

God damn I would hate to be you. Its not about sex or delusion.

[GOONR]

......its that they wouldn't want to share in an intimate way something they love.

That just about sums it up for me.

[nodrog]

Somehow I dont think that the puff, puff, pass approach with the wife would make my relationship any closer, easier or indeed fix any cracks.

it would probably ruin her cracks good and proper

[Big Dave]

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[Bikernereid]

One man's meat is another man's poison. Judge yet not lest ye be judged!

Swinging can work if BOTH parties truly want it, have complete trust in each other, are honest with each other and know what the limits are. However, some of the pit falls are that one person may bullied into swinging out of fear that if they don't their partner will stray and they wont know with whom etc. As with so many aspects of life one size does not fit ALL. Just because throughout most of Christian traditionalist countries may believe in monogamy does not mean that it is right for all.
After all, how many women accept their men spending their cash on fast bikes and football matches which may appear abhorrent and incomprehensible to other women. How many men like to see their wives/partner wearing skimpy skirts and flashing their cleavage whilst other men like their wives/partners to dress 'modestly'. We are all different and whilst others may live their lives differently to us it does not mean that what they are doing is necessarily wrong, and especially not for them.

[Tank]

One man's meat is another man's poison.

I honestly cannot think of a single nice thing I can say about another mans meat.

[Bikernereid]

I honestly cannot think of a single nice thing I can say about another mans meat.

Thanks you have just made my day LMAO!! As they say don't knock it till you tried it;-)

[GOONR]

I honestly cannot think of a single nice thing I can say about another mans meat.

Me neither, Another mans meat IS poison.

[CookMySock]

See this is where you make a HUGE mistake.In your opinion. You won't be dragging me into a debate. :bye:

Steve

[Bikernereid]

Me neither, Another mans meat IS poison.

Me thinks there might be some insecurity issues within some of the KB men.........Size isn't everything;-)

[Tank]

In your opinion. You won't be dragging me into a debate. :bye:

Steve

Meh - normally people if they believe in something can argue and justify a position - I reckon you just proved Catus's point. byeeeeeee

[Tank]

Me neither, Another mans meat IS poison.

"in your opinion" - according to Steve. Each to their own. Meh - personally I'll stick to girls.

[MSTRS]

If you wash more, and only choose clean ones, you won't stick to 'em...

[Laava]

Swinging women accept their men spending their cash on fast bikes and football matches. men like to see their wives/partner wearing skimpy skirts and flashing their cleavage .

I like the way you think!

[GOONR]

Me thinks there might be some insecurity issues within some of the KB men.........Size isn't everything;-)

Hang on, let me just check... Nope no insecurity issues here. Just me the wife and all my offspring.

[Bikernereid]

Hang on, let me just check... Nope no insecurity issues here. Just me the wife and all my offspring.

Was thinking that the Barcelona match might have taken its toll!!!!

[GOONR]

Was thinking that the Barcelona match might have taken its toll!!!!

I think it took it's toll on the missus, lots of swearing at the TV and even midget GOONR (who is just coming up for her second birthday) chanting "C'mon gooners"!!

[Bikernereid]

I think it took it's toll on the missus, lots of swearing at the TV and even midget GOONR (who is just coming up for her second birthday) chanting "C'mon gooners"!!

How sweet, get em when they are young! Was just the same at her age but dad supported Shef Wed and Gramps the Hammers! Must have just had good taste despite family!

Sounds like my house when the bike racing is on, all etiquette and lady-like behaviour goes out the door!!

[nodrog]

"in your opinion" - according to Steve. Each to their own. Meh - personally I'll stick to girls.

so you wouldnt be into abit of this then?

http://mrmrsb.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/p1000238.jpg

[Tank]

so you wouldnt be into abit of this then?

http://mrmrsb.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/p1000238.jpg

For the love of God - you made me splurt coffee all over my keyboard.

[nodrog]

For the love of God - you made me splurt coffee all over my keyboard.

thats better than having somebody spit their hundreds and thousands in your wifes chocolate cone.

[george formby]

I have always been a bit dubious on the whole monogamy thing even though I am happily monogamous. Most men & women will have multiple partners before settling down when the "right" one comes along & we become faithful. Sex in a loving relationship is the best but after a while it can become habitual, passion's may ebb. Facing up to it & helping each other to stay fulfilled is vital. Achieving that is different for everybody. Whip's, toy's, role play or swinging does'nt matter, staying happy is what counts. If my missus suggested it I would certainly listen to her, I don't own her, she is randy & I have no hang ups about being "the man". Have to be something in it for me though.

[Ronin]

thats better than having somebody spit their hundreds and thousands in your wifes chocolate cone.

Best.Post.This.Month

[Ronin]

In your opinion. You won't be dragging me into a massdebate. :bye:

Steve

Seriously Steve, I'm not going to keep proofing your posts if you don't at least make an effort.

[Tank]

Later on, stability is like life with the handbrake on - counterproductive to what is useful, interesting, and stimulating.

Which is why we have interesting and stimulating swingers from the boondocks:

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[Bikernereid]

Which is why we have interesting and stimulating swingers from the boondocks:

You don't think they are brother/sister or first cousins do ya?

[Headbanger]

I came twice watching that vid.

[Tank]

You don't think they are brother/sister or first cousins do ya?

They usually are.

[Tank]

http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0803/swingers-demotivational-poster-1206929463.jpg

[Tank]

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/12/17/633966454267161270-swingers.jpg

[Ronin]

Which is why we have interesting and stimulating swingers from the boondocks:

</EMBED>

North Carolina is near Edcumbe isnt it?

[Tank]

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/7/6/633824974569419135-AndthewifeWonders.jpg

[Tank]

and this is why swingers should not be allowed to work with children.

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2008/10/6/633588952325810195-PlayingHooky.jpg

[Tank]

OK - back being serious.

How common / popular do you think swinging is in NZ?

I know that our best friends are swingers and have been for many years - they have always said that it was a lot more common than you would think.

[Bikernereid]

OK - back being serious.

How common / popular do you think swinging is in NZ?

I know that our best friends are swingers and have been for many years - they have always said that it was a lot more common than you would think.

I wouldn't have thought it was that popular as Kiwis do seem slightly more conservative than POMEs. Maybe that is cos the weather in the UK is always crap and people need something to entertain themselves with during those long cold nights! :spanking:

But then again http://www.nzs.com/entertainment/adult/swingers/

[Fatt Max]

The problem with sharing the missus around is that potentially you are sharing the mother in law around........and noone wants that, eh....

The only thing swinging for me at any time are my flabby beer tits

[Tank]

The only thing swinging for me at any time are my flabby beer tits

Not all Moobs are created equal

http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/moobs.jpg

[GOONR]

OK - back being serious.

How common / popular do you think swinging is in NZ?

I know that our best friends are swingers and have been for many years - they have always said that it was a lot more common than you would think.

I know of a couple of couples that are well in to it.

[martybabe]

? (Apart from being overweight and ugly so nobody would want me).

?

I ain't no expert you understand but from the documentaries I've watched across the years, it would see to me that fat and ugly are a prerequisite for a quiet night in swinging your giblets between the neighbour's wives.


thats better than having somebody spit their hundreds and thousands in your wifes chocolate cone.

I'm not 100% sure what that means but by feck it made me laugh :yes:

[Maha]

Whats that old saying?

'One dog one Bone'?

[tigertim20]

OK - back being serious.

How common / popular do you think swinging is in NZ?

I know that our best friends are swingers and have been for many years - they have always said that it was a lot more common than you would think.
I reckon it'd be more common than you'd think, I know it sounds contradictory, but I reckon that couples are probably very private about being permiscuous!. Hey fuckit whats good for them is good for them. I would never do swinging, but let me ask you married fellas tis. If you wife came to you and said that she knew with all her heart that YOU were the PERSON that she wanted to share her life with, but that she had always been bicurious and wanted to explore that, and share the experience with you, would you be sweet with having a threeway with another chick, knowing that it was about your wife wanting a new experience???. because if your answer is yes, I don't really see it being that different from swinging. having said that, I would never swing, another guy tried getting his meat near my girl, it cut his cock off and ram it down his throat, but I'd be all for the menage a trois

[Bikernereid]

I reckon it'd be more common than you'd think, I know it sounds contradictory, but I reckon that couples are probably very private about being permiscuous!. Hey fuckit whats good for them is good for them. I would never do swinging, but let me ask you married fellas tis. If you wife came to you and said that she knew with all her heart that YOU were the PERSON that she wanted to share her life with, but that she had always been bicurious and wanted to explore that, and share the experience with you, would you be sweet with having a threeway with another chick, knowing that it was about your wife wanting a new experience???. because if your answer is yes, I don't really see it being that different from swinging. having said that, I would never swing, another guy tried getting his meat near my girl, it cut his cock off and ram it down his throat, but I'd be all for the menage a trois

Got to love you honest hypocrisy. But there are quite a few men that say they would love a three some (MFF) but when they meet a chick that will do it they freak out and say not with my girlfriend. I guess they are frightened that their girlfriend will prefer the woman and are worried that the woman will satisfy their woman more than they can.....Just a thought.

[whowhatwhere]

I'm surprised at some of the comments in this thread - actually no, I'm not.

First, I think whoever wrote the blog that is linked in the first post has the complete wrong end of the stick. Swinging, in my mind, is not permission to go out and shag whoever you please - it's something that a couple participate in; both parties are present! So yes, it makes sense for the other lady to get defensive and protective when the blogger suggested having a night out with her man without her - that is not swinging.

If there are any doubts or concerns as to what it may do to a relationship, it's sounds like they're not ready. Full stop. I think swinging becomes an option when a couple are so committed to each other that their relationship has reached 'another level' (as a tacky was of putting it).

Does the idea of someone else shagging my missus turn me on? Yes. Does the idea of me shagging someone else turn on my missus? Yes. Condition: we must be together when this happens! Have we tried this yet? No, so yes the idea of this is still a fantasy, but it's the point were you feel you have no insecurities with your partner and are confident that there will be no emotive quandaries by partaking in this fantasy. Fun is all it is. I guess the first step is to go to a party and observe and I'd imagine you'd know pretty darn fast if this was what you want to do.

Jesus – I can’t believe I’ve just said this on KB.

[MSTRS]

The 'odd' thing about fantasies is that the reality seldom measures up. Stay with the fantasy...

[Headbanger]

I just had a look at the couples section of nzdating.

Lmfao.Tragic.

[Pedrostt500]

I went to a few swinger parties back in the mid 90s, I enjoyed it at the time, to meet the people who took part in the street they were just normal jane and Joe, non of them were beyond average, ie exstreamly beautiful or ugly, but that comes from with in a person.
one of the first thing you had to get used to was being naked in front of 20 or so other people, then having sex in front of the same people, but they were naked and having sex as well, you need to be comfortable with the skin you are in, as well as mentaly comfortable with what you are doing.
Its not some thing for every one, and not even for some of those who think it might be what they need, it can go from fantasy to night mare very quickly, I did see it go bad for one couple, it wasn't pretty.

[Paul in NZ]

Marriage is about standing before your family, friends, community and partner (and for some people before God) and making a commitment before them all as to how you feel, and pledging to hold your position through all that may prevail. This is done (hopefully) due to a deep love for your partner, and they in turn make the same commitment.

It can be something very powerful and worthwhile or it could all just end badly, But what sort of retarded fuck breaks that down to it being a fantasy based on insecurities due to sexual jealousy?

God damn I would hate to be you. Its not about sex or delusion.

100% agree. I know not all marriages work out and its probably a bit holier than thou for me to comment but even though I'm not a religious man - that vow meant something and I have never taken it lightly!
Besides - I asked Vicki if she wanted to try swinging and she said shes not keen on getting onto a sidecar ant the moment, maybe in a few years time....

[ynot slow]

This is serious,a mate of dads told his fiance just before his wedding,"cool we can join a swingers party after we're hitched"wonder why the marriage never went ahead.Was back in the mid 70's,and she confided in friends he was very serious,and suffered from prem ejac with her,so how the hell was he going to enjoy the excitment of new flesh,she laughed about it in later years(and dabbled in it with other ladies no less).

[Fatt Max]

I know of a couple of couples that are well in to it.

Most gooners are really, goes with the team

[GOONR]

Most gooners are really, goes with the team

And once we have finished fucking with what you love we wipe our butt on this...

http://www.laughfc.co.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/spursbogroll.jpg

[Genie]

I went to a few swinger parties back in the mid 90s, I enjoyed it at the time, to meet the people who took part in the street they were just normal jane and Joe, non of them were beyond average, ie exstreamly beautiful or ugly, but that comes from with in a person.
one of the first thing you had to get used to was being naked in front of 20 or so other people, then having sex in front of the same people, but they were naked and having sex as well, you need to be comfortable with the skin you are in, as well as mentaly comfortable with what you are doing.
Its not some thing for every one, and not even for some of those who think it might be what they need, it can go from fantasy to night mare very quickly, I did see it go bad for one couple, it wasn't pretty.


swinging.....that's an orgy!

[oldguy]

I guess Im just old fashion.
Its a predominantly white middle class thing, Would they a let black couple in, I heard once she goes black she never goes back.

[oldguy]

Besides - I asked Vicki if she wanted to try swinging and she said shes not keen on getting onto a sidecar ant the moment, maybe in a few years time....

Thats just classic:2thumbsup