Fatt Max
23rd December 2010, 17:53
So, goes like this....
Booked on the 7am to Wellington last Tuesday. Had a few beers and some good feed Monday night meaning I seriously need to roll a cable before getting on the plane.
Head for the bogs at Auckland airport, settle myself into the trap and get on with the job.
I hear the cubicle door to my right open and a very huffy puffy man enter, obviously in desperate need, we've all been there.
So, he huffs and he puffs and he pulls his pants down and the loudest and smelliest 'phhhaaaaaarrrrrrrpppppp' resonates throughout the area followed by a 'PLOOOOP' which sounded like someone dropping a brick in a spa pool.
'Ooorrrrr.....arrrrrghhhhh.....oooh....paaaaarrrrr rppppp.....oooorrrggghhhh' come the noises from next door as well as further plooops, plips, squeeks, farts and plops.....
I'm just about gagging in the trap next door cos it smells like an upturned graveyard on a summers day plus the sound effects and 'pooh sex' noises are distracting me from rolling my own Osama.
Then I hear the unmistakable sound of the Nolia ring town resonating from next door.
"Ahh fuck, for fuck sake, ahhhh...." expletes my dump buddy next door as he rattles around trying to find his phone (I would have left it ring myself but it takes all sorts).
And he answers his phone......
"Hi its Bill.........oh hello love, funny enough I was just thinking about you......"
The rest of the conversation is lost while I and the rest of the toilet block burst into laughter.
"Tell her you have got her something nice from duty free" roared one voice
"Does she want chips or salad with that?" roared another
"At least you dont have to cuddle it after" roared mine
Silence from Mr Noisy Pooh as we all continuue to laugh.
I'm out of there while he is still whispering sweet nothings to his lady while his plopper makes it's way to Mangere Poo Ponds....I hope thay cancelled all leave because it sounded like a new Canadian record.
So girls, when your man is on a business trip, might be best to clarify exactly where he is and what he is doing before you get down to the kissy kissy phone convo.
Good crack....
Booked on the 7am to Wellington last Tuesday. Had a few beers and some good feed Monday night meaning I seriously need to roll a cable before getting on the plane.
Head for the bogs at Auckland airport, settle myself into the trap and get on with the job.
I hear the cubicle door to my right open and a very huffy puffy man enter, obviously in desperate need, we've all been there.
So, he huffs and he puffs and he pulls his pants down and the loudest and smelliest 'phhhaaaaaarrrrrrrpppppp' resonates throughout the area followed by a 'PLOOOOP' which sounded like someone dropping a brick in a spa pool.
'Ooorrrrr.....arrrrrghhhhh.....oooh....paaaaarrrrr rppppp.....oooorrrggghhhh' come the noises from next door as well as further plooops, plips, squeeks, farts and plops.....
I'm just about gagging in the trap next door cos it smells like an upturned graveyard on a summers day plus the sound effects and 'pooh sex' noises are distracting me from rolling my own Osama.
Then I hear the unmistakable sound of the Nolia ring town resonating from next door.
"Ahh fuck, for fuck sake, ahhhh...." expletes my dump buddy next door as he rattles around trying to find his phone (I would have left it ring myself but it takes all sorts).
And he answers his phone......
"Hi its Bill.........oh hello love, funny enough I was just thinking about you......"
The rest of the conversation is lost while I and the rest of the toilet block burst into laughter.
"Tell her you have got her something nice from duty free" roared one voice
"Does she want chips or salad with that?" roared another
"At least you dont have to cuddle it after" roared mine
Silence from Mr Noisy Pooh as we all continuue to laugh.
I'm out of there while he is still whispering sweet nothings to his lady while his plopper makes it's way to Mangere Poo Ponds....I hope thay cancelled all leave because it sounded like a new Canadian record.
So girls, when your man is on a business trip, might be best to clarify exactly where he is and what he is doing before you get down to the kissy kissy phone convo.
Good crack....