Advice from those who have been flatting

[jaymzw]

So my situation is this.

I have moved to Perth with my Dad to try to get him set up here so he can save some money and not have to sell his house back in NZ. His workmate also came over with us. We are 'flatting' together in a house sharing rent, power, water, internet and food equally.

I took about a fortnight longer to get a job than either of them who got jobs with-in days of getting here. I owed approximately $900 in rent,food and set up costs which date back to about 6 weeks ago. This is all to my father.

As I now have a job I have gone about paying back this money however in doing so I have come to realise how much they have been spending on food. As I also came to Australia to save as much money as I can to go on my O.E and then on to Uni I now want to buy my own food. However bringing this up created a big argument despite what I thought were valid points regarding the equity of the current arrangement (I work shift work and sometimes miss dinner.) I don't expect either of them to start eating noodles and sausages like I want to but I dont want to eat chicken or steak every night either.

I am only 18 and have never lived with my father before nor have I flatted. Their views were that I was an ungrateful little prick (my fathers words) and that I thought I knew everything. They also thought I wouldn't be able to save more money buying for myself anyway.

And although I'm sure I can come across as knowing it all I don't appreciate the condescension I received when simply requesting that we review our living arrangements. So my question is what would be in my best interests given the above. Should I suck it up and spend more on food than I would like (I believe I could save $50 a week here) or should I persist and buy my own food anyway or even look for somewhere else to live as that was mentioned a few times as well.

Also comments on your flat arrangement and how that worked? Any other advice I could possibly use.

James

[Mekk]

fuck's sake. flatting with your parents is not flatting. think you're just going to have to take this one in the ass or move out.

[Mom]

So my situation is this.

Also comments on your flat arrangement and how that worked? Any other advice I could possibly use.

James

Find yourself somewhere else to live pronto. You are not flatting with these grown men. They have a way different attitude to living at their age, than you do at yours.

If you want to stay there, say you are not prepared to "share" the expenses as you dont think it is equitable, say you want to board there. Pay a one off amount each week that covers all expenses. Not sure what the cost of living is over there, but here you could pay $200 a week for that .

[JATZ]

Not sure what the cost of living is over there, but here you could pay $200 a week for that .

Sorry O.T. but....
$200 p/w !! :gob:
My kids pay $60 :blink: no wonder they won't shift out :facepalm:

[Usarka]

I've never been in a successful flatting situation where food is shared. I've seen it happen but it's usually amongst friends or people with very similar food tastes (vegetarians for instance seem to dig it). Share milk, salt, sugar etc but if you have different tastes and budgets then you need to go separate on the real stuff.

On their side, it sounds like you may be breaking the agreement that you had when you started up - to share the food. On the other hand, the current situation isn't working for you financially or practically.

My prediction is this will either end in a fight or with you "towing the line" and being resentful and miserable.

Find another flat, and find out these sort of arrangements before you move in.

[scott411]

i have been in flatting situation where the shared food worked, and also where it hasn't, and it ended up being one of the reason i moved out of that flat.

when it worked we had 3 guys all eating similar food, and we all took turns at cooking and it worked well for the 18 months we flatted together in 2 different houses.

I agree with the above tho, if it was changing the original agreement it will cause tension, esp if they think it is working well

Tough call either way,

[Maha]

Sorry O.T. but....
$200 p/w !! :gob:
My kids pay $60 :blink: no wonder they won't shift out :facepalm:

$60 pw board?
I was paying $80 pw in 1986 full board. Three meals a day everything done.
The lady I was boarding with would have a cooked breakfast on the table in the morning, while I was eating, she would be making my lunch and tea was cooked for me also. if sh happened to be out, my tea would be cooked but sitting on simmering pot of water covered with tin foil. Laundry got done as well. It was a chunck of my wages back then but well worth it...for a while anyway.
$180-200 is not out of the question when it comes to full board.

Where James is concerned, the 'full board' scenario would not be in the grand scheme of things with his Dad and another bloke.
Suggestion would be to settle on an agreed amount weekly and live as teen/adult.
The amount would be somewhere close to 1/3 of all costs.
I take it he has his own room?

[The Stranger]

(I believe I could save $50 a week here)


I've never been in a successful flatting situation where food is shared.

Hmm, we share all costs here for $55.00 per week each - including Internet, power, water, phone, a cleaner once a fortnight and food (breakfast and dinner) and groceries. Works just fine. If someone wanted out of the food arrangement I'd give them a credit of $20.00 no problem, but I sincerely doubt they're going to save anything unless they can survive without food.

Saving $50.00? WTF are you guys eating? Anyone who knows us (and there's a few here) knows we're fucking carnivores and eat way too well. There just aint $50.00 in it, plain and simple.

[bogan]

In my experience shared food is slightly cheaper if you have similar tastes, but individual works fine as well except you need a bit more fridge space. Tell em it's a deal breaker and good luck to them finding someone else to put up with their shit, you went there to help him out, that should get you some respect.

[avgas]

Only way to flat is have the plan drawn up on day one. The plan does not change regardless.
If parties can not agree to the plan they have to move on.
In this instance that party is you. You have to move on and find a flat where you can compromise your lifestyle enough to meet the 'flat plan'.
If you cannot compromise your lifestyle you must live in your own place.
This is not the law, this is life.

[NinjaNanna]

... you went there to help him out, that should get you some respect.

That's an 18yo side of the story, truely I wonder whether Dad really needed him as much as he thinks, after all its him that lived off Daddy for so long - not the other way round.

OP maybe you should ponder your own situation and attitude, sounds to me like your 18 going on 30.

[Smifffy]

As said above, I think you'll find it difficult to save $50 a week, unless you go directly for the mac & cheese, noodles & sausages etc.

If you are paying a third of the food costs, maybe it is worth bringing up that you are finding it difficult to meet the bills for food, and a better budget might be worked out.

Do you do any of the cooking? As a long time bachelor bloke I can tell you that for guys, the other advantage of the expensive cuts is that they are easy to prepare with a quick grill or fry. If you were to make em up a tasty spag bol or casserole, even stir frys etc, I'm sure they would enjoy them.

Come up with a menu, check out a few recipe books etc, and go back to them with the menu and the budget for it. Show them that they can save $25 each and still eat well.

At the end of the day though, you won't be able to live beyond your means for long and it sounds like you'll be moving out sooner or later anyway.

As for board, I used to pay $125 a week in Welly around 1990 for full breakfast, dinner with pud and laundry. I paid whether I was there or not, and it was the going rate. $200 doesn't seem that high for full board to me.

I got a job back home and my folks wanted me to move in with them at half the rate of board, with me doing a few of the chores. That set me up to convince the bank to help me buy my first house about 5 years later.

Thanks Mum & Dad.

[steve_t]

Move out and find some other young people to flat with, maybe students

[bogan]

That's an 18yo side of the story, truely I wonder whether Dad really needed him as much as he thinks, after all its him that lived off Daddy for so long - not the other way round.

OP maybe you should ponder your own situation and attitude, sounds to me like your 18 going on 30.

well he said he has never lived with his dad before, but point taken, his side of the story may not work out to be what he plans. Is one sure-fire way to learn though :yes:

[Latte]

$900 owed over the last 6 weeks = $150 a week including food. And there's setup costs included in that so it's probabaly even cheaper each week.

Sounds like a good deal to me, if you're getting power/phone/internet included as well, that's an awesome price.

[steve_t]

$900 owed over the last 6 weeks = $150 a week including food. And there's setup costs included in that so it's probabaly even cheaper each week.

Sounds like a good deal to me, if you're getting power/phone/internet included as well, that's an awesome price.

A$150 a week could easily get you a fully furnished flat in Perth incl all utilities and you'd be able to choose to live with more likeminded people

[Smifffy]

$900 owed over the last 6 weeks = $150 a week including food. And there's setup costs included in that so it's probabaly even cheaper each week.

Sounds like a good deal to me, if you're getting power/phone/internet included as well, that's an awesome price.

Have to agree there. Also be interesting to see if he moved out, whether his new flatties would be prepared to front him just under a grand while he got his shit together...

[Latte]

A$150 a week could easily get you a fully furnished flat in Perth incl all utilities and you'd be able to choose to live with more likeminded people

Really?.... fark


/edit

Did a look for apartments/units and cheapest was $200

3 Bedroom house was $350 - so $120 per person, plus utilities and food.

just off realestate.com.au

[Smifffy]

Really?.... fark

Yeah, there are some awesome deals:

http://www.realestate.com.au/rent/in-perth%2c+wa+6000/list-1?activeSort=price-asc&includeSurrounding=false

[steve_t]

Yeah, there are some awesome deals:

http://www.realestate.com.au/rent/in-perth%2c+wa+6000/list-1?activeSort=price-asc&includeSurrounding=false

And also here
http://flatmates.com.au/places?area=13

James, find some 18-23 year old females to live with :niceone:

[rachprice]

I lived in Brisbane for a while and organised my own food, cost be about $50 a week to eat well, I ate steak and chicken and fish but lots of veges and stuff

It can be done

[Smifffy]

And also here

James, find some 18-23 year old females to live with :niceone:

Then a couple of times a week, when you are sick of mac & cheese, go round and visit your dad for tea...

:msn-wink:

[ducatilover]

How much exactly are you paying? More than any other people in the same relative situation?
I'm paying around $110, plus my own food. i can live veeeeery cheaply and healthily, growing veges helps keep costs down. :yes:

[scissorhands]

Move in with some WA girls and forget about saving money.

Or get to know 'never lived with father' and his quirky ways. My dad is gone and I wish I bought him more things like meals and the odd beer, once they're gone....

If they are just goldbricking on your money and not treating you right............ but you gotta weigh up if they are, or have, helped you financially in other areas... its give and take.

Sounds like your only missing out on some food money, which cant be that much per week, if you still mainly eat the shared food

[p.dath]

It's their place, and they set the rules for living there - not you - so you need to either abide by them or move out.

There are a lot more expenses than just food at the supermarket - are you planning on buying your own cleaning products as well when it is your turn to do the cleaning?

[steve_t]

It's their place, and they set the rules for living there - not you - so you need to either abide by them or move out.

There are a lot more expenses than just food at the supermarket - are you planning on buying your own cleaning products as well when it is your turn to do the cleaning?

You don't often find the words '18 year old bloke' and 'cleaning' in the same sentence :innocent::drinkup:

[wysper]

but lots of veges

I'm sorry, what?


mwaahhahahahah

[jafar]

So my situation is this.

I have moved to Perth with my Dad to try to get him set up here so he can save some money and not have to sell his house back in NZ. His workmate also came over with us. We are 'flatting' together in a house sharing rent, power, water, internet and food equally.

I took about a fortnight longer to get a job than either of them who got jobs with-in days of getting here. I owed approximately $900 in rent,food and set up costs which date back to about 6 weeks ago. This is all to my father.

As I now have a job I have gone about paying back this money however in doing so I have come to realise how much they have been spending on food. As I also came to Australia to save as much money as I can to go on my O.E and then on to Uni I now want to buy my own food. However bringing this up created a big argument despite what I thought were valid points regarding the equity of the current arrangement (I work shift work and sometimes miss dinner.) I don't expect either of them to start eating noodles and sausages like I want to but I dont want to eat chicken or steak every night either.

I am only 18 and have never lived with my father before nor have I flatted. Their views were that I was an ungrateful little prick (my fathers words) and that I thought I knew everything. They also thought I wouldn't be able to save more money buying for myself anyway.

And although I'm sure I can come across as knowing it all I don't appreciate the condescension I received when simply requesting that we review our living arrangements. So my question is what would be in my best interests given the above. Should I suck it up and spend more on food than I would like (I believe I could save $50 a week here) or should I persist and buy my own food anyway or even look for somewhere else to live as that was mentioned a few times as well.

Also comments on your flat arrangement and how that worked? Any other advice I could possibly use.

James

I've got my own place & 3 flatmates, I share the food with one of them & the other two share between themselves. The deals were done BEFORE they moved in. It is a pain to change it after the event.
Set up costs were covered by me, it is my place & they didn't have to cover what had already been done, in your case there would have been substantial set up cost that you are now having to repay, once that is done the weekly costs will go down.

I seriouly doubt that you can save $50.00 per week on the grocery bill, in fact I doubt you can save much at all buying for one as opposed to buying for three & splitting the costs. You have said they are having good meals ( chicken steak etc). These foods when cooked @ home are not that expensive, chicken is near the same price as sausages when you work it out on a per kg basis. Steak is a little dearer but is good food. :yes: Add more vegetables into your weekly grocery budget & cut back on the meat will save you a little, stir frys & curries also make the food $$ stretch a little as well.
You can't last for long on crap like noodles or mickey D's. Many have tried, none have succeeded. :shit:

[Mom]

Sorry O.T. but....
$200 p/w !! :gob:
My kids pay $60 :blink: no wonder they won't shift out :facepalm:

:lol: My eldest left home to go to Uni and had to pay $185 a week, board. On top of that she had to pay for her own personal shampoos etc, and her washing. All good. My son left home and had to pay $185 for a tiny room in a shared apartment, with fuck all facilities. When my youngest left school with no clear idea of what she wanted to do, we started to drift into a place far too comfy for her.

I told her her board would be $150 a week (she about shit) and of that I would put $50 a week into a savings account for her when she left home. She asked what would happen if she had a poor week (she was working part time) would she still have to pay $150? YES! I doubt any landlord would take pity on yhou having a poor week love. I dont think you do your kids any favours undercharging them board.

[Hopeful Bastard]

Im currently living in Lower Hutt and am paying $215 a week for a 3bdrm house with a decent size lounge and bedrooms. We have the Internet and phone line. We are living quite happily and soon to be getting sky TV and still live comfortably.

So for the price you are paying, Its not alot really if you are getting food on your plate. Although, I can relate to someone eating more than their share of food bought, But we dont bother about it as my brother and myself live pretty cheaply.

[JimO]

i used to pay mum $5.00 a week, should have stayed there, full board, washing done

[Blackshear]

I have personally found that a 'you use it, you replace it' deal goes well with my last 3 sets of flatmates.
Currently sitting pretty at $80p/w rent, and $150/m for utilities.

And Ashley owes me 5 eggs, a bottle of milk, peanut slab, bottle of garlic mayonnaise and... I owe her 2 woodies.

She wrote it on the fridge :drinkup:


I personally think your dad isn't giving you enough leverage, but when you owe money you don't negotiate shit. Get rid of the deficit, and try raising your hand again.

[Blackshear]

i used to pay mum $5.00 a week, should have stayed there, full board, washing done

I paid $70 a week for dinner only and a room with my brother.
How long ago was this?

[JimO]

I paid $70 a week for dinner only and a room with my brother.
How long ago was this?

errrrrr 1975 when i started working to 1979 when moved out aged 19 and got married and moved into my own house

[Blackshear]

errrrrr 1975 when i started working to 1979 when moved out aged 19 and got married and moved into my own house

Well shit, my mother was only 5.

[jaymzw]

Thanks for the replies people.
I take on board what was said regarding changing the rules after the arrangement and that is a fair point. So is the fact I may not realise how good I have it at the moment. It is possibly true?

However I can honestly say that the way I described the situation is accurate. I did help my Dad by coming here with him. Organised everything and got in contact with the relevant people etc. He would never have left New Zealand otherwise. I have never lived with my father before now and he hasn't given me a lot growing up from a monetary or fathering point of view so don't feel I owe him a whole lot. In saying that however reading these replies I think I overlooked the money he has fronted for me so far and that I should be more grateful for.

I wasn't so clear in my explanation of how I came to the outstanding balance of what I owed. I pay $150 a week in board and food and internet on top of that. I had payed board for the last 4 weeks so that wasn't included in the money outstanding at the moment.

I have a flat I can move into which would be perfect, $140 a week incl everything bar food (seperate arrangement as I want) however having had a re-think after some of the suggestions here I don't think I will do anything hasty for now and will at least give the arrangement a little longer and pay off the remaining money before looking at the situation again.

The bigger issue may just be learning to live with my father. I always have the option to move out later if it remains a problem.
James

[Ocean1]

The bigger issue may just be learning to live with my father. I always have the option to move out later if it remains a problem.
James

Sounds well reasoned, sometimes you do have to go a bit more than half way.

Good luck, dude.

[Blackshear]

The bigger issue may just be learning to live with my father. I always have the option to move out later if it remains a problem.
James

My dad moved out when I was 8 and the stark differences between his living code vs my mothers was substantial, to say the least.

Ever heard of oldschool vs newschool?
Might just be a hard kunt and wants you to live like his ideal growing young man, I know my dad gives me a bit of a whack here and there, still.

[Squiggles]

We share some food expenses (flour, spices, oil etc) but different tastes (vege vs carnivore) and budgets keep it mostly to the individual. Meat is expensiiiive

[ducatilover]

Sounds well reasoned, sometimes you do have to go a bit more than half way.

Good luck, dude.


+1.
Good luck mate, at least you can enjoy your grammar :yes:

[Mekk]

And Ashley owes me 5 eggs, a bottle of milk, peanut slab, bottle of garlic mayonnaise and... I owe her 2 woodies.

She wrote it on the fridge :drinkup:

aw so cayooot!! :love::love::love:

[tigertim20]

So my situation is this.

I have moved to Perth with my Dad to try to get him set up here so he can save some money and not have to sell his house back in NZ. His workmate also came over with us. We are 'flatting' together in a house sharing rent, power, water, internet and food equally.

I took about a fortnight longer to get a job than either of them who got jobs with-in days of getting here. I owed approximately $900 in rent,food and set up costs which date back to about 6 weeks ago. This is all to my father.

As I now have a job I have gone about paying back this money however in doing so I have come to realise how much they have been spending on food. As I also came to Australia to save as much money as I can to go on my O.E and then on to Uni I now want to buy my own food. However bringing this up created a big argument despite what I thought were valid points regarding the equity of the current arrangement (I work shift work and sometimes miss dinner.) I don't expect either of them to start eating noodles and sausages like I want to but I dont want to eat chicken or steak every night either.

I am only 18 and have never lived with my father before nor have I flatted. Their views were that I was an ungrateful little prick (my fathers words) and that I thought I knew everything. They also thought I wouldn't be able to save more money buying for myself anyway.

And although I'm sure I can come across as knowing it all I don't appreciate the condescension I received when simply requesting that we review our living arrangements. So my question is what would be in my best interests given the above. Should I suck it up and spend more on food than I would like (I believe I could save $50 a week here) or should I persist and buy my own food anyway or even look for somewhere else to live as that was mentioned a few times as well.

Also comments on your flat arrangement and how that worked? Any other advice I could possibly use.

James

youre 18, man up.
Go home and tell them 'thanks and all that, but this is MY money, and MY decision, my eating habbits and times are sporadic, and this is my decision, end of story. If you dont like it, thats your issue.

Ive almost always done my own food when flatting because i dont eat according to a timetable, I eat what looks good when Im hungry. Tell them to fuck up, and let you make your own decisions.

[Berries]

The bigger issue may just be learning to live with my father. I always have the option to move out later if it remains a problem.
As someone else said, it's not really flatting if you are with your old man. Sounds like he could cope without you even though you took him to Oz. Personally I would move out, you need your own life. This should be the best time of your life and if you are worrying about stuff like that you are missing out on too much.


i used to pay mum $5.00 a week, should have stayed there, full board, washing done
She's charging a tenner now, but it's worth it.:woohoo:

[Hiflyer]

And Ashley owes me 5 eggs, a bottle of milk, peanut slab, bottle of garlic mayonnaise and... I owe her 2 woodies.

If she's good looking that sounds like a primo deal. Eat her food then stick it to her as payment. ;)

Provided Ashley isn't related to you...

[CookMySock]

Their views were that I was an ungrateful little prick (my fathers words) and that I thought I knew everything.Buy your own food and do what you want your own way. Tell your father to get used it or get fucked, and go back your cornflakes, sausages, and noodles.

Stand up for yourself and say what you think and do what you want, or all of society will stand all over you for the rest of your life. It's nice to think that everyone cares about what you want but the fact is they care more about what they want, just like you should do, so get over it and get on with it. It's your life, not theirs.

[Blackshear]

If she's good looking that sounds like a primo deal. Eat her food then stick it to her as payment. ;)

Provided Ashley isn't related to you...

Other flatmate might not be so appreciative of that arrangement :innocent:
Doesn't stop me copping a feel, though.

[ducatilover]

Other flatmate might not be so appreciative of that arrangement :innocent:
Doesn't stop me copping a feel, though.

pictures or it neeeeever happened mate.

[Hiflyer]

Other flatmate might not be so appreciative of that arrangement :innocent:
Doesn't stop me copping a feel, though.


pictures or it neeeeever happened mate.

http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Pv1Ig6ctzwo/TUrfZEQ1zkI/AAAAAAAAAJo/wFV6rEcBLWw/s1600/image017.jpg&imgrefurl=http://russellstutely.com/blog/wp-admin/2011-walmartians%26page%3D2&usg=__XQZo7YfgAfCmbZr-bgV68yVCVNQ=&h=375&w=600&sz=63&hl=en&start=150&zoom=1&tbnid=9EuEP_1GcAX8NM:&tbnh=164&tbnw=219&ei=pending&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dwalmartians%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3 DN%26biw%3D1260%26bih%3D846%26tbm%3Disch0%2C5008&um=1&itbs=1&biw=1260&bih=846&iact=rc&dur=329&oei=qPecTfrfH5HQsAOLjfHnDg&page=8&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:150&tx=85&ty=64

[CookMySock]

Doesn't stop me copping a feel, though.If you're getting a feel then likely you will get more. Give it time. :innocent:

[Blackshear]

236585

That's all you're gettin :innocent:

[ducatilover]

Net curtains in a flat! Wow....