Screwed up. Couldn't help it really

[aprilia_RS250]

There's this gorgeous chick that works on the 10th floor, and she's super hot. You know the ones that are so good looking you think she plops out Maltesers when she poos. Couple of times she's sort of been giving me the eye in the lobby coffee shop and I've been doing the same. So for a while I've been building up courage and thinking up of how to ask her out....

Anyway I work on 20th floor, getting in the lift to head home I get something dodgy going on in stomach. The feeling reminded me of that Lord of the Rings scene where a camera pans in some cave and all these ugly gromit things are slaving away and lava is pissing everywhere, yeah it was that bad. Ain't good. Think it was the dodgy Irvines pie I had for lunch, not gourmet stuff like Mrs Macs. As the lift hits 15th floor I feel utterly helpless and rip out this massive groggy fart. I thought thank god I'm the only one in here and pray the lift doesn't stop on any other floors. As it's going down I can smell it, it's bad, really bad. The lift didn't stop on any other floors, straight to ground thank god I think. Feeling a little bit nauseous the doors open and Miss 10th floor is standing in front with another not so bad looking mate. :facepalm:

As I say hello (and she even gave me this huge grin!) and soldier out of the lift thinking what bad luck I had it get's only gets worse. She and her mate go "oh my god!" as the doors are closing.

Now I'm thinking I shouldn't have let them in to get auswitched rather should have sparked some interesting conversation.... Fuck it off for a beer now.

[steve_t]

LOL. That sux and is hilarious at the same time. Update us on what happens next :corn:

[Oblivion]

Ah, shit happens. All will be forgotten eventually. :yes: (I think :innocent: )

[Mom]

OOOPS! :rofl: :killingme

Denial is always your best bet.

Go up and talk to her tomorrow and say how sorry you are she had to get in that stinky lift. You would have stopped to warn her but had to head out for air!

Of course it was the last bloke off there that had had a bad curry/pie, he dropped one and exited :angry: Dirty bastard :shutup:

*snigger*

[Usarka]

Golden rule #7. The moment you fart in an enclosed space someone will walk in.

See if you can blame it on her friend. Tell her you called the lift back to follow her down but it smelt like someone had dropped a turd so you backed out.

[mikeey01]

:rofl:ra ha ha dam funny, you could get some miles on that...

[Oblivion]

Also, Pics or it didn't happen :rofl:

[Tink]

damn psml ... Love it!

I am sure they giggled.. a real woman would have! Otherwise don't bother with them or her! :corn:

[Tink]

Also, Pics or it didn't happen :rofl:

Honestly a pic of a fart!!!!! erm ... love to see it... (erm) I think!:facepalm:

[Mom]

Honestly a pic of a fart!!!!! erm ... love to see it... (erm) I think!:facepalm:

As long as it is not a "shart" it should be ok :innocent:

[Blackshear]

It's alright mate, ladyfriend of mine loves playing the (children's) pull the finger game, much to my bewilderment.

Granted, she had access to a door/fresh air at any given second... :sick:

[steve_t]

Honestly a pic of a fart!!!!! erm ... love to see it... (erm) I think!:facepalm:

No no, we want to see pics of the girls' faces as the smell hit their noses :sunny:

[Tink]

No no, we want to see pics of the girls' faces as the smell hit their noses :sunny:

And you really believe he had a camera... pics or it didn't happen!:innocent:

[marie_speeds]

:psst: :sick:<<<<<<them and you>>>>>>:o:whistle::facepalm: tomorrow
:lol:

[EJK]

Haha cool story bro!

[Oakie]

Ha ha. At least you made an impression.

[Berries]

You know the ones that are so good looking you think she plops out Maltesers when she poos.
I've got some news for you...........

[reemit]

Was it visible? Not much chance of blaming someone else if yr trailing a brown cloud behind ya.:facepalm:

[Brett]

LMAO...mate you got a full dose of murphy's law there...such bad luck! If it was me, I would pretend like nothing has happened, or blame some "prick" who got out of the lift on the 11th floor.
At least she has definitely noticed you now. ;)

[Mental Trousers]

Somebody quick off the mark would've stepped out and told her not to get in there cos the guy that got out further up nearly shit himself. Much more polite of course, but you get the drift.

[DrunkenMistake]

Pictures or it didnt happen..
Haha

I would have blamed it on the elevators breaks, would have made up some really lengthy story and give the apearence i know what the f**k i was talking about, it usually pans out alright haha

[HQfiend]

Love is in the air!:rofl:

[Paul in NZ]

Stress less, women love a guy they can civilise....

[Indiana_Jones]

Great conversation starter, I guess.... :sunny:

If she doesn't love your gas, then she isn't for you!

-Indy

[marie_speeds]

Great conversation starter, I guess.... :sunny:

If she doesn't love your gas, then she isn't for you!

-Indy

Yeah so true.....the farting in bed then pulling the blankets up over the head is just sooooo romantic

[CookMySock]

You shoulda put a big grin on and grabbed them both and pulled them away from the elevator.. "dont go in there - I just farted real bad.." It's a good excuse to get kino with them, have a chuckle, and later act like it was all a gag.. when only you know the terrible terrible truth lol.

[steve_t]

Yeah so true.....the farting in bed then pulling the blankets up over the head is just sooooo romantic

Ah, the ol' Dutch Oven. Its hilarity will never die

[Insanity_rules]

Love is in the air!:rofl:

If that's what love smells like count me out!

[Indiana_Jones]

Yeah so true.....the farting in bed then pulling the blankets up over the head is just sooooo romantic

I see you've played 'Farty-Sheety' before. :sunny:

-Indy

[YellowDog]

It was only the day before that she said to her mate when referring to you:

"I wouldn't kick him out of bed for farting"

I recon she might have changed her mind :rofl:

[NinjaNanna]

Ah, the ol' Dutch Oven. Its hilarity will never die

The real art is to fart and then turn the light on so they dive under the sheet and dutchie themselves

[shafty]

Yeah, think of it as prep for future 'fluffing of the sheets '.....

[slofox]

So! What happened today then? Did she cut you dead? Or did she assume, from the stink, that you already are dead?

[steve_t]

So! What happened today then? Did she cut you dead? Or did she assume, from the stink, that you already are dead?

Or that something crawled up your butt and died?

[sugilite]

Somebody quick off the mark would've stepped out and told her not to get in there cos the guy that got out further up nearly shit himself. Much more polite of course, but you get the drift.
Oh yeah, I think she got the drift :facepalm:

[marie_speeds]

I see you've played 'Farty-Sheety' before. :sunny:

-Indy

Yep one of my fave bedtime games....always sets the mood:shutup:

[sgtp]

One of the hardest, but most satisfying hurdles of any relationship is getting past the "fart barrier". Damn! the OP is a f-ing rockstar!:headbang:

[aprilia_RS250]

Haven't seen her today... Might be a good thing.

But the boys at work had a good laugh when I told 'em about it. After lunch there was an Imodium packet sitting on my desk and someone left a spare nappy:facepalm:... A work mate even filled in the security guy at the counter about it and when I was in he suggested we call him up ask him if there were any ambulances called up last night. The security guy should win a fucking oscar, there he was on the speakerphone, very convincingly telling us 2 chicks passed after they pressed the lift alarm, blah blah blah etc. Very glad it turned out to be bullocks.

So not really looking forward to the day miss 10th floor and I cross paths...

[Indiana_Jones]

So not really looking forward to the day miss 10th floor and I cross paths...

We are....:yes:

-Indy

[Reckless]

Somebody quick off the mark would've stepped out and told her not to get in there cos the guy that got out further up nearly shit himself. Much more polite of course, but you get the drift.

You got it brother! Seems he wasn't a very quick thinker!! Missed opportunity there!


You shoulda put a big grin on and grabbed them both and pulled them away from the elevator.. "dont go in there - I just farted real bad.." It's a good excuse to get kino with them, have a chuckle, and later act like it was all a gag.. when only you know the terrible terrible truth lol.

OH this is a bad choice! Telling them you stink like a dead cow is a conversation starter! :facepalm: gorgeous women you've never met are gonna be just grovelling on the floor over that pick up line!!


Haven't seen her today... Might be a good thing.

But the boys at work had a good laugh when I told 'em about it. After lunch there was an Imodium packet sitting on my desk and someone left a spare nappy:facepalm:... A work mate even filled in the security guy at the counter about it and when I was in he suggested we call him up ask him if there were any ambulances called up last night. The security guy should win a fucking oscar, there he was on the speakerphone, very convincingly telling us 2 chicks passed after they pressed the lift alarm, blah blah blah etc. Very glad it turned out to be bullocks.

So not really looking forward to the day miss 10th floor and I cross paths...

No NO no you got a big mouth sonny Jim!! If this story ever gets back to her your fucked mate!! And its gonna LOL!! with half the place incl security sniggering at her everytime she walks past!
Ya never no she could even be a Kiwibiker :yes:


Great story LOL!! Keep use updated aye! Best of luck!

[CookMySock]

Haven't seen her today... Might be a good thing.She's probably dead.. lol