Some Auckland commuters have very tiny penises

[Mom]

I have been doing the commute for a few months now and have marvelled from time to time at the appalling skill of some drivers on our roads. I have been pulled out in front of, turned in front of, I even had a bus cause me to stop in the middle of a roundabout as he rushed to get to the stop around the corner. I have had to come to a complete stop behind a car that stopped to give way to a car on a compulsory stop sign, while on a free turn himself. It is all part of the fabric of riding a bike in the shitty city, not worth commenting on really.

Today however, I experienced something that truely jaw dropped me, and showed me just how ignorant and dangerous some drivers are. I was early, the traffic was lighter than normal and I was cruising along with the flow doing a tad over 110kph ( how I managed to avoid death I have no idea). I was leaving a good following distance between me and the car infront and constantly scanning my mirrors for any errant plod :innocent:

One minute the road behind me was clear, the next there was a small white Toyota right up my date, so close that it made the hair on the back of my hair stand up. I opened the throttle and gained a bit of distance, then backed off. Next thing this prick is back up my date. Rinse and repeat. I was in the right had wheel track and was about to go to the left and really put some distance between me and this dickhead when he undertook me :yes: Not a big deal one would say, but this wanker was straddling the line, half in my lane and half in the next. He came so close to me I could have touched his car. Once he got up alongside me he moved into the next lane.

I got such a surprise it took a few moments to gather myself enough to scream some suitable abuse at him, while giving him the universal hand message :finger: Like I said traffic was light, there was plenty of space for him to change lanes without endangering my life, he chose a different path. I think he was a short arsed, ginga to boot. I should have pity on him perhaps?

[unstuck]

That is one of the reasons we left auckland,got sick of all the fuckwit drivers.Moved to pakiri beach,but still had to commute to redvale every day and the roads just kept getting more and more crowded.Finally moved to southland where there is only 60.000 people in the whole region and the roads and traffic are awesome.And house prices are still pretty good too. Take care up there.:yes:

[Camshaft]

i had a courier driver turn into my lane with me in it, nudge me, i smaked his window and he realised i was there and went back into his own lane, and then the curry cunt did the exact same thing about a hundred meters down the road!!!!.

[slofox]

He came so close to me I could have touched his car.

With your boot I hope Mom..? :sunny:

[neels]

Not just Auckland.

On my ride home a couple of days ago had a car miss my front wheel by about 3 inches changing lanes, got to practice my emergency stopping skills when a car decided the correct time for a right turn was the same time I arrived at an intersection, and again when a car pulled out in front of me. Not to mention the dodging of errant scooter riders.

I love riding motorbikes, it never gets boring.

[awa355]

I booted the lefthand mirror on a car once, when he pulled across into my lane without bothering to get past first.

Smashed the mirror , but the kick knocked me off balance and bloody nearly crashed myself.

Quite satisfying tho'.

[brnstr]

hey guys,

well i have been riding for about 2 weeks now and when i was driving a car i thought i had seen some messed up stuff and i had tried to be a nice motorist and give way and make sure there were no people around me when i was changing lanes etc.....
but i must say in the last 2 weeks the things i have seen auckland motorist doing blows me away i am kinda worried to n=be out there riding haha....
so if anyone can offer some help or skills i will need please please please help me.......:facepalm:

[Ender EnZed]

One minute the road behind me was clear, the next there was a small white Toyota right up my date, so close that it made the hair on the back of my hair stand up. I opened the throttle and gained a bit of distance, then backed off. Next thing this prick is back up my date. Rinse and repeat. I was in the right had wheel track and was about to go to the left and really put some distance between me and this dickhead when he undertook me :yes: Not a big deal one would say, but this wanker was straddling the line, half in my lane and half in the next. He came so close to me I could have touched his car. Once he got up alongside me he moved into the next lane.

So you were in the right hand lane and you weren't overtaking anything? Do I understand the situation correctly? Now I'm not suggesting his actions were acceptable or appropriate and I would also have been pissed off, however the speeding up and tailgating you part sounds entirely predictable. And the dodgey overtake on the left shouldn't really have been out of the blue given what he was doing immediately prior.

Was there some reason you didn't move into the left lane after he first arrived behind you, obviously travelling significantly faster?

[neels]

Was there some reason you didn't move into the left lane after he first arrived behind you, obviously travelling significantly faster?
Possibly the same reason I don't on a 2 laned road on the way to work, because I'm going to turn right at the next intersection so need to be in the correct lane when I get there?

Think outside your apparently very small square.

[Blackshear]

Some people are just arrogant/think they're the shit because they're in a rush.
I guess we'll all do it at some point, though can't talk for myself that I wouldn't expect someone to knock off MY right hand side wing mirror for merging me into a crash post before the harbor bridge :love:

[Big Dave]

It was a cold day.

[Blackshear]

It was a cold day.

And he just got out of the water. :angry:

[Ender EnZed]

Possibly the same reason I don't on a 2 laned road on the way to work, because I'm going to turn right at the next intersection so need to be in the correct lane when I get there?

Which is perfectly reasonable but it wasn't stated and I'd rather make 2 lane changes than deal with an obviously aggressive cager.


Think outside your apparently very small square.

Not polite enough for you eh? :finger:

[Urano]

a lot of people have very small penis.

always keep with you all the safety measures:
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ0pZxQfJLwaFORZBb7v8gFY61958Wup ZxyQzi2Vpi4uKhDr-yZNg

[Gremlin]

Had a car try to share my lane a couple of days ago in downtown Auckland. Not quite sure why he/she thought they could do it, but since I was on the BMW, and sit higher than the car, with nasty looking crash bars, I thought fuck it, and held my ground. Car backed off and went behind.

I think they figure it's not exactly like we're using all the space, so they can :blink:

[DMNTD]

Seems like a fairly 'normal' commute to me sadly.

[The Baron]

Well Mom it's time for air horns on the bike.

[p.dath]

Rather than speeding up, it is usually easier to slow down and let those people past. As you say, the more distance between you and them the better, and if they are keen enough, let them create the distance.

[Mom]

Well Mom it's time for air horns on the bike.

You know that is exactly what I was thinking too, I need me a stebel :yes: Oh, and heated grips, it was cold yesterday, I had my left hand on the engine off and on :lol:

[Owl]

it made the hair on the back of my hair stand up.

Time to shave your head Mom!:yes:

[aprilia_RS250]

I had a similar situation on the harbor bridge, the guy just got so close I thought he was gonna touch me. I kept my speed and he seemed to be getting closer. I did the old turn my head and tap the brake light, nothing still up my arse.

I had enough, he went to overtake and I sped up right in front again. He then tried the other lane and I went in again and slowed him down. Then he went back on the fast lane and sped up in the slow lane. I kept at his speed, got close, he kept ignoring me, I tooted, no reaction, so I sit on the horn for about 15 sec he looks and gets the big :finger:

Then I get an apologetic wave back... Fucking tossers out there

[Mom]

Fucking tossers out there

This guy seemed to be oblivious to me actually, this was heading south towards the Oteha Valley off ramp, traffic in all lanes, well spaced out and doing a bit better than the speed limit. There were no real gaps to be found, and like I said I was about to change lanes so this idiot could dog the car in front of me instead, when he did his undertake in my lane. Nice wire rope barrier to my right and a dickhead sharing my lane to my left, all at over 100 kph :shit:

[BAY CITY MOTORCYCLES]

I had enough, he went to overtake and I sped up right in front again. He then tried the other lane and I went in again and slowed him down. Then he went back on the fast lane and sped up in the slow lane. I kept at his speed, got close, he kept ignoring me, I tooted, no reaction, so I sit on the horn for about 15 sec he looks and gets the big :finger:

Then I get an apologetic wave back... Fucking tossers out there

:blink: yes there is

[oneofsix]

looks like you held it together rather well Mom. Perhaps a nice fluro jerkin would help :shutup:

[willytheekid]

Rather than speeding up, it is usually easier to slow down and let those people past. As you say, the more distance between you and them the better, and if they are keen enough, let them create the distance.
+1
Gotta agree with that...sounds like an average commute to me (sadly) but as p.dath notes, its just a case of allowing for idiots and adjusting your riding style to a more defencive one, after all....we WILL lose an arguement with a car everytime.
I ride with the attitude of "there ALL out to kill me" & "there ALL bloody idiots"...expect the worst-avoid the hearse.


You know that is exactly what I was thinking too, I need me a stebel :yes: Oh, and heated grips, it was cold yesterday, I had my left hand on the engine off and on :lol:

mmmmm "Stebel" :drool: great horns!....gotta get one, the Guzzi sounds great from the pipes....but has a rather "scooter" sounding horn :facepalm:
Oh...and guzzi's come with tappet cover/handwarmers lol....great at the lights :cold:

[awayatc]

Only 3 options.....

evade (slow down, get out of the way and let him go)

escape ( speed up and create lots of distance....explain to cop you were getting assaulted if caught)

confront (make sure you got the goods to see it through, not recommended for peaceloving non combatants.... you are vulnerable on a bike)


yeah I got 3 headlights, a stebel and an attitude .........

[imdying]

And if you drag them from their car and punch them till they stop breathing, suddenly you're the bad guy :facepalm:

[Mom]

looks like you held it together rather well Mom. Perhaps a nice fluro jerkin would help :shutup:

:lol: I am sure one of them would have made all the difference.

[SPman]

Ah well, when you tire of Auckland traffic, it should at least have set you up for Perth traffic.......:killingme