The end of a long dark road...

[Number One]

The last 12 months has been tough and painful but we got through it and are back walking in the sunshine once again and our child is happy and well and very well supported.

I've decided to share this blog in the hope that it might help someone else - particularly any parents whose child has been abused by a 'loved' family member. If you are travelling this long dark road and are working your way through the justice system I send you my best wishes for a fair and just outcome and of course in the end emotional wellbeing and healing! If you wish to contact me you can do so via PM...otherwise just KIA KAHA and know you are not alone.

To those amongst you with nothing better to do tonight than look for shits and giggles and to pick fights you may as well just move along right now. The sharing of this blog is not for your entertainment and NO discussion will be entered into with trolls so again, you may as well just fuck off right NOW.

To all those kind, generous souls in KB who showed us genuine care, concern and kindness (even at times a little bit of tough love to keep myself in particular on an even keel and from doing something that I would likely have regretted) - thank you.

WANING!!! If you are a survivor of abuse this will probably be triggering so either don't read it OR if you do please take care of yourself and perhaps talk to someone you know you can trust.

FINALLY - I make absolutely no apologies for the foul language bandied about throughout these posts - this was a far cry from what I actually wanted to do at the time and quite frankly I think I have permission to be a bit potty mouthed as I was working this stuff through.

http://badpoppa.blogspot.co.nz/

[scissorhands]

Number One, I want give you a big thanks for bringing up aspergers syndrome mid 2010, since then I have travelled a great distance in my life's learning....thank you

Without that self knowledge I would still be floundering about in the dark.

[Madness]

...we got through it and are back walking in the sunshine once again and our child is happy and well and very well supported.http://badpoppa.blogspot.co.nz/

That's the best thing I've read on here in fucking ages chook. How's wee Sully's riding coming along?

[Number One]

I'm not known for avoiding tough topics eh?

You are welcome Scissorhands, if I've helped one person by raising a tough subject in honesty then I've done something useful and I'm happy for that.

[Number One]

That's the best thing I've read on here in fucking ages chook. How's wee Sully's riding coming along?

He's bloody awesome actually! Little hoon ;)

[thecharmed01]

I am so sorry you and your family had to go through this!
That was some reading, have to admit to a few tears for you and your son...

*big hugs* coming your way, I hope things continue to look positive.

[Number One]

I am so sorry you and your family had to go through this!
That was some reading, have to admit to a few tears for you and your son...

<big hugs> coming your way, I hope things continue to look positive.

Thanks for the kind wishes. I'm sorry anyone goes through this.

It's evil and theres so much of it going on...and these abusers aren't always the people we think we should be aware and wary of.

Secrets are their weapons people - don't keep them for them if we do we help them to be in a position to do it all over again. This is NOT me, my son or my husbands shame!

[nzspokes]

More power to you and yours and good luck with the future. I wish you the best.

Some of us have stories to tell, I guess its just working a way to get them out.

[nudemetalz]

Wow, that was quite a story !!

My heart goes out to you and your family, Number One !!!

[Str8 Jacket]

Wow hun, a hard read for me, I couldn't read all of it at work but wow. I admire you guys (your family). Kia kaha. xx

[oneofsix]

Wow hun, a hard read for me, I couldn't read all of it at work but wow. I admire you guys (your family). Kia kaha. xx

I have to agree with Str8 Jacket, in fact I didn't get past the first few sentences and knew it was going to be too much to handle at work. Don't think my colleges need to see a grown man cry. I know some of the story from earlier posts but ...
All the best.

[Brett]

Wow...takes a bit of time to digest some of that.

I can only guess at how you're feeling (haven't read the full blog yet). I know for me, just watching documentaries or reading about sex abuse cases (let alone on kids) makes me feel very angry and rage-full inside at the perpetrators. The added complication of your relationship to the abuser makes it even more hard to comprehend. I know that so often it is those close to the children that are their abusers, but I just cannot fathom how these people who are tasked with loving and caring for children end up hurting them so badly. I am so glad that your son got justice (even if in the cold light of day it doesn't seem severe enough.)

I have such respect for you for standing up and getting the police involved to ensure that justice is sought, especially given the circumstances.

I will continue to make my way through your blog, thanks for sharing. May you now have some light at the end of a dark period.

[Edbear]

Having followed your story froim teh start, I am very happy that you can reach this point and get on with life. Many never "recover" and it either results in suicide or a miserable rest of life existence. I put recover in parenthesis as it really isn't the correct word is it?

To see your strength and the support from your family is encouraging and something that should be made available to everyone. I'll read though your blog as I have the time to do so to bring myself up to date.

I too, wish you all the best for the future and I doubt you will be bothered by idiots here.

[Crasherfromwayback]

Good for you Love. I'll read it proper at home tonight!

[rachprice]

I too got thought the first post and had tears welling.....I cannot even being to imagine the hurdles you have had to encounter, the pain you have felt.

You are all incredible people!

[Number One]

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts..and NO I don't worry about idiot comments from people who I don't know and in the end don't matter to me ;)

I can share this because we are through it and I hope that it will serve to encourage others who may be in a similar position.

What I learned was that though it was hard to do so - engaging in the FULL justice process was both useful for me and it ensured he didn't 'get off lightly' - of course I believe he did get off lightly anyway but at least through my efforts I have ensured he serves more tha 40% of his sentence, he is listed on the sex offenders register and ALL his friends and ex colleagues have been made aware- also his brothers and sisters have been aprised of the full horrific nature of what their 'well regarded' brother got up to.

Of course this will have an affect on us for the remainder of our lives but I feel at peace having done all that I can to try to ensure that he is held accountable and that he is atleast exposed to the kind of treatment that might hopefully enable him to be challenged on what he has done and the devastation he caused (outside of his own now screwed up life) in the ultimate hope that he WON'T ever do anything like this again.

A wise man sent me a PM last night saying that we have to stamp this shit out with a spotlight...he is so right!

Silence is their ally.

If you can/do read the blog you'll feel a rather tortured, tough and painful journey but know that there IS light at the end of the tunnel.

We are much stronger as a family unit now and our relationships are much much tighter. We are now a force of three to be reckoned with and though another way to this would have been far preferable it should be comforting to know that out of all that nastiness something beautiful has grown, thrived and is continuing to build.

I love my son and I love my husband and without them both I could not have had the strength to do what I had to all the way throughout - that was standing up against the father who had always been my best friend and number one supporter within a system that chews up victims and spits them out.

Also on another positive note there is very little 'uncontrollable' anger now...just a faint taste of sadness that wells up now and then, mostly on birthdays, fathers day (unsurprisingly) and christmas - but when it happens I lose myself in my boys and my Monster and I'm reminded of just how strong this journey has made me.

As I've said - I release it and I focus on all that is good and great in our lives.

If anyone is in need of a supportive 'ear' you are welcome to contact me.

Kind regards everyone

[Stirts]

I cried, I laughed, I could feel the hurt, the anger, the frustration, the heartbreak and the grief. What an amazing gift you have given in your blog, not only for you and your family but to any others who may read it. I for one am deeply moved :love:

And I toast to you and yours ... "LIFE and LOVE and LAUGHTER"

[rachprice]

ahhh i tried trolling i just don't have the heart to do it on this one...

Dude......god knows why you even posted

[Stirts]

Dude......god knows why you even posted

He was trolluping on a particular word I used (an innocent faux pas on my part to be honest, as it was bound to tempt the trolls)... which I have since changed

[Number One]

ahhh i tried trolling i just don't have the heart to do it on this one...

That's funny you had the heart to do it straight after I first posted it last night.... Yup I saw it in PD

[Str8 Jacket]

That's funny you had the heart to do it straight after I first posted it last night.... Yup I saw it in PD

At least you have gained the strength to ignore idiots. They mean nothing to you or impact your life. Remember that hun! xx

[Crasherfromwayback]

That's funny you had the heart to do it straight after I first posted it last night.... Yup I saw it in PD

It takes a special sort of arsehole to do that I'll have you know.

[Str8 Jacket]

duno what you expected when posting this on the interwebs.

Dunno about you, because you've just made yourself look like a total twat. Many of us here on KB know each other personally and are close mates so we care. Also the OP has shown strength and what she has posted will in fact help others that have or are going through this.

Basically what I am trying to say is Fuck Off, you have no idea. Go back to your box.

[rachprice]

duno what you expected when posting this on the interwebs.

I resisted the urge to say you were still out of line before, because I didn't want to start an argument in a thread about something so heartbreaking but cant let what you said go, anyone who has been abused or knows someone close that has, feels things you cannot imagine.
The fact that you make some fuckwit comment about it, makes you worse than a piece of shit

You really should be ashamed of yourself and if you had any sense of being a decent person, I hope you realise it

[FJRider]

ahhh i tried trolling i just don't have the heart to do it on this one...

Maybe in future you don't try. You haven't the ability to ever be good at it.

[Brett]

ahhh i tried trolling i just don't have the heart to do it on this one...

I also saw your stupid comment yesterday. Had plenty of heart for it then. If this is the sort of thing you think it is funny to troll about, then you need your head checked. making light of child abuse is not funny at all, even more so when it is regarding an actual event that has occured. Dumb arse.

[ducatilover]

Number One - If I was half as strong as you, I'd count myself a very impressive person.
All I can say is, I want to hug the shit out of you :drinknsinYou're an inspiration, I wish you and your family all the luck in the world


duno what you expected when posting this on the interwebs.
People like you make me taste blood.
Piss off.

[98tls]

Yep your an inspiration girl,wishing you all the best for the future but methinks you dont need my best wishes as you have everything under control.I truely hope your father comes to a place in time were he accepts responsibility for his actions.Amazing story and amazing bravery.

[caseye]

Anyone else want to try upsetting this thread, give it your best shot.

[yungatart]

Respect, Sherie...for you, for your family, for your journey together. Hugs!

[Number One]

duno what you expected when posting this on the interwebs.

Lol you really are neither a very good nor clever troll.

But I'll answer u directly as in some way I believe this is a good question for me to actually answer.

Before i do though id like to thank you for helping me confirm that i am in a very good place and am at total peace with the journey ive been on and so your words are meaningless to me and i see them for what they are - a silly young boys attempt to get attention and possibly even a hard on from the idea that he might actually have affected someone with his silly little words.

Which leads me to answer that question you have quite passively posed.

I didn't expect anything...I haven't shared it for my benefit, i wasnt looking for sympathy, celebration, bling or attention. I posted and shared it to honour those who i used to have regular contact with in here who i know cared for me and my family and especially for anyone who may be dealing with a similar situation themselves. I hope and still do that somewhere someone takes something positive for themselves from the reading of my story.

I've been around long enough to know that silly boys like you are a dime a dozen on the 'internet' and as I said your words have not upset me in the least...I've been dealt far harsher blows by much much better trolls than you and well meh ...one day you might grow up but either way I could care less.

Of course I thought long and hard before sharing this blog and at the end of the day I'm good with where I'm at and I know what's right and your 'efforts' at trolling say so much more about you than they do about me and finely sunshine after what I've been through, survived and thrived through you aren't even worthy enough to eat my shit :sunny:

Finally to all the lovely, kind bikers who had a go ((hug)) seriously this guys effort was far too pathetic to phase me in the slightest and he's just another try hard keyboard warrior young dumb and full of cum. But your sentiments were greatly appreciated none the less and you'll all get your green when my stockpile is refilled xxoo

[chanceyy]

Much respect to you S, :hug:

keep looking forward doll :)

[Crasherfromwayback]

you aren't even worthy enough to eat my shit :sunny:



I've got a funny feeling that's what he likes to do though.

[MIXONE]

You are an inspiration to all who know you and I think you should seriously consider getting into counselling for those who have suffered abuse.

[Number One]

LOL I think Mr TrentNZ was a bit upset with the bite back...he's deleted all his posts - I'm glad I quoted him so it's clear what a little tosspot he is...

Too funny - big bad troll indeed.

mmmmm fresh peanut brownies and the house to myself NOM NOM NOM and aaaaaaaaaa

[TrentNz]

Mods deleted em/moved to PD

[Crasherfromwayback]

Mods deleted em/moved to PD

Should do the same to you.

[caseye]

Don't worry that's exactly what will happen Pete, if he comes back with any other issues.3 in less than one month ought to tell you you are doing something wrong.
Just leave this thread alone unless you have something constructive to say, it is personal, and it is to be respected.

[nudemetalz]

To TrentNZ - When you have your own little kids (like I have) you might just understand the severity of this that Number One has gone through. The wee ones are trusting and helpless to the outside world. Unfortunately you just can't 24/7 them ALL the time.
The fact that she had the courage to speak out and I believe warn others to be careful is just totally admirable and I have the utmost respect for her.
As Str8Jacket said earlier a lot of us know each other outside of KB, so useless comments and trolls are just not needed.

[Gone Burger]

I both thank you and commend you for sharing this with us hun...

What a year you have just made it through. You and your boys have all made it. The ugliest year of your lives and one that has changed you forever. I have always respected and cherished your support over my past year. But when you mention the word strength, you are the very meaning behind it. You know exactly what it means to have strength, and real strength. To continue to support others are you have been going through all of this yourself, I struggle to understand how you have done it.

You have my full respect. You always have. As Straightjacket said, many of us know eachohter outside of KB. And we are not only there for eachother through an online biking forum, but in every day life as friends who understand what each person is going through.

Here's to you, your wonderfuly hubby, and your gorgeous wee boy. To a brighter and better future, with some delicious memories to be made, and unbreakable bonds between you all.

Love, hugs and happy tears for you getting to this point. You are a hero to me girl, don't you ever forget that.

[mashman]

Child Abuse advocate due to finish 750km walk in Porirua (http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/12993685/child-abuse-advocate-due-to-finish-750km-walk-in-porirua/)

[cs363]

.

Found this thread a bit late #1 - Shocked and saddened to read what you've all been through but delighted to hear you have come out a fighting, strong and loving, intact family unit!
All my very best to you, Craig and wee Sully for the future :hug:

[Number One]

@Mashman - thanks for sharing that!

@cs363 :) bests passed on!

[Hinny]

Too sad.

I have read so many sad posts tonight it is depressing.
Life can be a hard row to hoe at times.
To have lived through this in your life must be incredibly trying.
Hat off to you for the strength you show and the intelligence you display.
Well done and best wishes for the future.