Wants dating advice from strangers on the internet

[Scuba_Steve]

Well as the title suggests this is all about interweb strangers spreading their dating advice, hopefully for the greater good. This advice is not for me so advice for chicks, advice for guys it's all welcome here...

Come on bikers, lets spread that dating advice & help get some of our single members into happy relationships & maybee even keep some in them.

[pzkpfw]

When meeting a woman (job interview, first date, ...), stare at her tits the whole time.

Women like to be noticed and appreciated.

[oneofsix]

Don't be the first one to get drunk

[placidfemme]

When meeting a woman (job interview, first date, ...), stare at her tits the whole time.

Women like to be noticed and appreciated.

We also like it if you dribble

[oneofsix]

We also like it if you dribble

is that after visiting the mens? or do you mean :drool: ?

[slofox]

We also like it if you dribble

Ermmm...dribble from er... where?

[nodrog]

Take her to the transfer station and flop your rancid meat out.

[Scuba_Steve]

:facepalm: I was expecting a couple of pages before we got to the "good" advice... oh well it was always going to end like this, so have at it :lol:

[placidfemme]

dribble from where-ever you like, as long as you dribble

[nodrog]

I was being serious.

[hayd3n]

if its gots tits or wheels its gonna cost ya money

[mashman]

dribble from where-ever you like, as long as you dribble

Is it bad form to say that we're dribbling, ya know, down there? or are light trousers with dark damp patch enough to give the game away?

[george formby]

:facepalm: I was expecting a couple of pages before we got to the "good" advice... oh well it was always going to end like this, so have at it :lol:

Damn, I can resist everything except temptation.

Tell the truth, don't take it too seriously, your unlikely to find your / a soul mate in cyberspace but it is fun & a good way to get your back wheels wet. Always remember that after a week or three of flirting & driveling on the net you may end up meeting that person so you have to be who you say you are.

It is a great way to make friends & have fun dating if you have limited opportunity to meet new people.

Oh, dick photos don't seem to work, most online single women have bigger dildos.....

[Scuba_Steve]

Tell the truth, don't take it too seriously, your unlikely to find your / a soul mate in cyberspace

:laugh: don't worry like I said the advise isn't for me, not even "for a mate". It was more started just out of interest to see interwebs strangers dating advice & because I expected by the end it would turn into a great laugh (that just happened sooner than expected) I guess now we just see who has the "best" dating advise :shifty:


Tho I see we do have serious dating advice from nodrog if anyone's ever looking for a date up 'towel wronger' ways & hayd3n had some solid advise too, tho I'd extend that to "if it's got tits, wheels or a gfx card it's gonna cost ya money" :yes:

[Str8 Jacket]

We also like it if you dribble

Whilst putting your hands in you pockets.

[george formby]

Whilst putting your hands in you pockets.

Web cams can get you into a world of trouble........... Particularly when they are streamed live to a gay porn site......

[Paul in NZ]

On line dating can go horribly wrong....

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/5068079/Drug-accuseds-family-visit-her-in-Buenos-Aires-prison

[george formby]

On line dating can go horribly wrong....

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/5068079/Drug-accuseds-family-visit-her-in-Buenos-Aires-prison

FFS. If you can't meet them somewhere for a coffee with a motel nearby don't get involved.

[Stirts]

Take her to the transfer station and flop your rancid meat out.

She sounds like a keeper.



Tho I see we do have serious dating advice from nodrog if anyone's ever looking for a date up 'towel wronger' ways & hayd3n had some solid advise too, tho I'd extend that to "if it's got tits, wheels or a gfx card it's gonna cost ya money" :yes:

There is evidence that Nodrogs "advice" actually works :facepalm:

[GingerMidget]

Hahaha I can't believe you actually did it. I don't need dating advice, I know my type has been asshole, or commitment phobe, for like ever.

Or wants kids and marraige and all that shit, and I'm like 'run the other way'

So, after weeks of being fascinated by someone, I sent him an email at work asking him to call me. He figured out what was going on, called, and long story short, were going out some time next week. He missed out on the cupcake delivery, so I may have to suss some extras out and deliver them tomorrow.

The way to a mans interest really is through his stomach.

[placidfemme]

Hahaha I can't believe you actually did it. I don't need dating advice, I know my type has been asshole, or commitment phobe, for like ever.

Or wants kids and marraige and all that shit, and I'm like 'run the other way'

So, after weeks of being fascinated by someone, I sent him an email at work asking him to call me. He figured out what was going on, called, and long story short, were going out some time next week. He missed out on the cupcake delivery, so I may have to suss some extras out and deliver them tomorrow.

The way to a mans interest really is through his stomach.

does he know you are a ginger midget?

[GingerMidget]

Yes.

He's also seen an extraordinary amount of leg when I was having a perve at an R1 recently and he was there. Long story.

I don't want to give away too much. One person at work knows who it is, and no doubt I'll get given absolute arseholes tomorrow.

I did however get off the phone and grin like an idiot. Hahaha

[george formby]

Yes.

I'll get given absolute arseholes tomorrow.

I did however get off the phone and grin like an idiot. Hahaha

Sounds a bit OTT for a first date but whatever floats your boat.

[EJK]

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<img src="http://t.qkme.me/35lvaw.jpg" />

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[GingerMidget]

Sounds a bit OTT for a first date but whatever floats your boat.

Where did I mention where and what it will be?

[Madness]

Always remember that after a week or three of flirting & driveling on the net you may end up meeting that person so you have to be who you say you are.

Fuck that. Anything short of being raped on the floor of a solo-mum's living room within the first 3 days of online banter is simply a waste of bandwidth. The crazy ones are great fun but do not become emotionally attached.

I should also state that this was my experience in a former life, before I met Mrs Madness :innocent:

Oh, FP - Good for you chick!

[Crasherfromwayback]

The way to a mans interest really is through his stomach.

Sure is. Get him to eat you.

[scissorhands]

Dont try dating techniques, just get fit, healthy and happy, and primordial urges, pheromones and endorphins take over as they do.

Your not supposed to mate if your unfit to, nature organises it so the weak miss out

A healthy and happy girl with a good body a kinda attractive to me, as I guess I would be to her. Shame she just cant love me for my mind....

[sinfull]

Fuck the interweb, just go to a pub/club get drunk grab a few women by the snatch close to closing* and (ok so it's a numbers game, some of you might have to grab lots of snatch) when ya cop a slap ya struck out (but not always), as i say it's a numbers game


*why waste money doing it early in the evening (unless your one of those who need to play the numbers game to any extent)

[GingerMidget]

Sure is. Get him to eat you.

Thats disturbingly like a conversation I just had with my best friends mum.

I must get off the internet and go to the gym. He won't like me if I keep eating cupcakes, don't go to the gym and become a lard arse.

[SMOKEU]

Chicks from online dating sites love golden showers and cleveland steamers. If they say no, they really mean yes.

[sinfull]

Shame she just cant love me for my mind.... How could she love an idiot ?

[Scuba_Steve]

Dont try dating techniques, just get fit, healthy and happy, and primordial urges, pheromones and endorphins take over as they do.

Your not supposed to mate if your unfit to, nature organises it so the weak miss out


Your've never met our low socio economic family's then have you? or Ethiopia, Africa, Haiti etc, etc

[scissorhands]

How could she love an idiot ?

your way too slow for bling

[scissorhands]

Your've never met our low socio economic family's then have you? or Ethiopia, Africa, Haiti etc, etc

good points, ignore my advice

[jrandom]

I know my type has been asshole, or commitment phobe, for like ever.

http://sciencenordic.com/redheads-feel-different-kind-pain

[Kickaha]

Come on bikers, lets spread that dating advice

My advice would be "stay single"

[The End]

Chloroform always helps.

[unstuck]

Be yourself, cos if you have to bullshit and play games to get someone to like you, then your fucked. But I like confident strong women, and some guys like bimbo slutbags. Each to their own.:2thumbsup

[GingerMidget]

http://sciencenordic.com/redheads-feel-different-kind-pain

That explains why only one of my tattoos actually hurt. The rest were a breeze. Reminds me, I should book my next one and get it done. its almost two years late!

[Madness]

some guys like bimbo slutbags

:drool: :drool:

[nadroj]

Sure is. Get him to eat you.

Then it would be MingerGidget!

[Laava]

Make sure she has her own gumboots

[TrentNz]

if she can't cook, kick her in the moot.

[jrandom]

if she can't cook, kick her in the moot.

4TYv2PhG89A

[jrandom]

Be yourself, cos if you have to bullshit and play games to get someone to like you, then your fucked. But I like confident strong women

You just failed the Turing test.

[Red39]

http://sciencenordic.com/redheads-feel-different-kind-pain

Now I understand why I'm less sensitive to pricks....

[Crasherfromwayback]

if she can't cook, kick her in the moot.

I bet you're single.

[newhere]

Don't date, STAY SINGLE, if he can ride go for one, at least you don't have to talk. IMO. :cool:

[KiWiP]

Rohypnol is the first daters friend.

Sort out what's going to be early in the meet and if it seems necessary pop one into a tequila.

If she's really big you might want to pop two into a double tequila.

Be a gentleman though and ask if she wants some as well...:banana:

[ducatilover]

The way to a mans interest really is through his gaping fly.
Needed fixing.


Women are like things, they do stuff.
That's all my wisdom.

[TrentNz]

I bet you're single.

i know you want me, but no, im not.

[oneofsix]

I must get off the internet and go to the gym. He won't like me if I keep eating cupcakes, don't go to the gym and become a lard arse.

:scratch: so that's what I'm doing wrong, going to the gym makes you a lard arse :shit: Yes you must be right as there are certainly enough lard arses at the gym and they are always advertising the bulk up stuff.
Cupcakes :drool:
Hope you can do a mean bacon and eggs as well. Need a good breakfast after a workout.

[unstuck]

You just failed the Turing test.

What the fuck is a Turing test? Is that like going up to a lady and asking for a poke in the whiskers?:nono:

[blue rider]

for once i feel lucky to not understand half of the conversation.....and to boot i must be from a different century.....

internet dating.....what about old fashioned meeting in meatspace and if the chemistry fits .....

[placidfemme]

for once i feel lucky to not understand half of the conversation.....and to boot i must be from a different century.....

internet dating.....what about old fashioned meeting in meatspace and if the chemistry fits .....

did you mean meatspace?

Its too hard now in NZ, all the chicks look like sluts, but it's false advertising, they are just bitches

[c4.]

Pretty straightforward for women really.
Men only have two emotions, hungry and horny.
If he aint got a hardon, make him a sandwich.:lol:

[thecharmed01]

I bet you're single.

No doubt....... :lol:

[george formby]

for once i feel lucky to not understand half of the conversation.....and to boot i must be from a different century.....

internet dating.....what about old fashioned meeting in meatspace and if the chemistry fits .....

Depends where you live. I used to lived oop north & refused to date anybody with more than 3 kids & false teeth. I was single for a long, long time. I could not bring myself to go to church either, the only place to meet single women & very short on prospects if you did.

[cowboyz]

Its really tough to meet woman over 30. Even harder to find a sane one.

[Scuba_Steve]

Its really tough to meet woman over 30.

Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don't interrupt,
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up - Bloodhound Gang "Three Point One Four"

[nudemetalz]

Chicks from online dating sites love golden showers and cleveland steamers. If they say no, they really mean yes.

You been shat on lots by chicks?

[Crasherfromwayback]

You been shat on lots by chicks?

Bet lots would like to.

[GingerMidget]

:scratch: so that's what I'm doing wrong, going to the gym makes you a lard arse :shit: Yes you must be right as there are certainly enough lard arses at the gym and they are always advertising the bulk up stuff.
Cupcakes :drool:
Hope you can do a mean bacon and eggs as well. Need a good breakfast after a workout.

I moved out of home almost 9 years ago. Chances are I can cook, or at least order take out, because I haven't starved yet. In saying that, I saw the new friend today, and enquired wether he wants carrot or chocolate muffins. He wants carrot. With cream cheese frosting. This is going to set a precedent, and I'm gonna have to keep baking. Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead?

[GingerMidget]

Bet lots would like to.

I'd wear gloves and throw something eles shit. I wouldn't put my naked ass anywhere near him.

Also, previous post mentions hes not single. Is she blind, deaf and dumb?

[Crasherfromwayback]

Also, previous post mentions hes not single. Is she blind, deaf and dumb?

Of course. All blow up dolls are.

[GingerMidget]

Ah. Silly me. I forgot that fundamental rule.

[Maha]

I wouldn't take advice from any stranger on the internet...:wait:

[george formby]

I moved out of home almost 9 years ago. Chances are I can cook, or at least order take out, because I haven't starved yet. In saying that, I saw the new friend today, and enquired wether he wants carrot or chocolate muffins. He wants carrot. With cream cheese frosting. This is going to set a precedent, and I'm gonna have to keep baking. Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead?

It's a slippery slope, be proper cakes then dessert before you know it. Chained to the stove, rug rats hauling at your pinnie strings.. you wondering where all the fun went.. :weep:

[Madness]

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/6539289/Internet-dating-conman-jailed

[GingerMidget]

It's a slippery slope, be proper cakes then dessert before you know it. Chained to the stove, rug rats hauling at your pinnie strings.. you wondering where all the fun went.. :weep:

Hahahaha. I changed my mind on the baking for today anyway. So instead, I'm painting.

[TrentNz]

I moved out of home almost 9 years ago. I saw the new friend today, and enquired wether he wants carrot or chocolate muffins. He wants carrot. With cream cheese frosting.

I don't recall saying i liked carrot muffins, with cream cheese frosting.. :Pokey:

[GingerMidget]

I don't recall saying i liked carrot muffins, with cream cheese frosting.. :Pokey:

Dude. If I saw you IRL, I'd punch you. God you annoy the snot outta me

[TrentNz]

So you're trying to say that all chicks are annoying.
good head :nono:

[schrodingers cat]

Learn to dance in time to the music. In a crowd of guys you'll be one in a million.

[tigertim20]

Hahaha I can't believe you actually did it. I don't need dating advice, I know my type has been asshole, or commitment phobe, for like ever.

Or wants kids and marraige and all that shit, and I'm like 'run the other way'

So, after weeks of being fascinated by someone, I sent him an email at work asking him to call me. He figured out what was going on, called, and long story short, were going out some time next week. He missed out on the cupcake delivery, so I may have to suss some extras out and deliver them tomorrow.

The way to a mans interest really is through his stomach.

only if you're trying to suck it out through his penis

[GingerMidget]

only if you're trying to suck it out through his penis

His penis hasn't been mentioned. By him or me. Its waaaaay early days, just let me muddle through this slowly. Instead of just sleeping with him, and panicing when he brings up some sort of commitment :rolleyes:

[ducatilover]

Buy a bike.


Best advice I can give. :banana:

I'll be happy to guinea pig for your baking. I need feeding.

[Madness]

Is this thread going to become some sort of reality dating show on KB :corn: The not so secret life of FantaPants.

Where do I subscribe?

[Newbi]

Is this thread going to become some sort of reality dating show on KB :corn: The not so secret life of FantaPants.

Where do I subscribe?

Hahahah yeah probably lol

[tigertim20]

His penis hasn't been mentioned. By him or me. Its waaaaay early days, just let me muddle through this slowly. Instead of just sleeping with him, and panicing when he brings up some sort of commitment :rolleyes:

If you'd jumped on his dick on the first date he would have known he didnt need to worry about commitment . . . just sayin . . .

[GingerMidget]

Ducatilover - working on that one!

I'm not sure wether to keep posting what I'm doing in regards to this new friend or not. Half want to cos I'm keeping it off facebook, and my best friends are both sick of hearing about it already, and a bigger part wants to keep it quiet in general because i don't know if hes gonna like me discussing this on the internet.

for those who TL;DR

Derp.

[TrentNz]

Ducatilover - working on that one!

I'm not sure wether to keep posting what I'm doing in regards to this new friend or not. Half want to cos I'm keeping it off facebook, and my best friends are both sick of hearing about it already, and a bigger part wants to keep it quiet in general because i don't know if hes gonna like me discussing this on the internet.

for those who TL;DR

Derp.

you have commitment problems..
grab the bulls by the horns and go for it, honestly.

[GingerMidget]

I know I have commitment issues. Can't be arsed explaining why. I'm quite excited by this date though.

[ducatilover]

you have commitment problems..
grab the bulls by the horns and go for it, honestly.
In you vast experience of life?

[blue rider]

If you'd jumped on his dick on the first date he would have known he didnt need to worry about commitment . . . just sayin . . .



so when is it the right time to do?

[TrentNz]

In you vast experience of life?

Don't get me started..


slut :rolleyes:

[GingerMidget]

so when is it the right time to do?

I'm not a first date girl

[blue rider]

I'm not a first date girl

thats not the question

[GingerMidget]

Don't get me started..


slut :rolleyes:

You clearly missed the point. You are young. Therefore have little in the way of life experience. This is not about sex.

[merv]

My advice would be "stay single"

Lol Kick does she know you just said that?

[TrentNz]

You clearly missed the point. You are young. Therefore have little in the way of life experience. This IS about sex.

fixed it for you :D

[GingerMidget]

fixed it for you :D

How old are you?

Wait, don't answer that. Mentally, 12.

[TrentNz]

How old are you?

Wait, don't answer that. Mentally, 12.

are you sure you're not lesbian

[GingerMidget]

are you sure you're not lesbian

Is that what you say to all the girls who think you're a twat?

[Madness]

lesbian


http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/3/175778-scooby_doo_large.jpg

[TrentNz]

Is that what you say to all the girls who think you're a twat?

yes.
you see, they think I'm a twat, which, in case you didn't know, is another word for vagina.
so after we get our jams on, it means they're lesbian.
:blank:

[tigertim20]

so when is it the right time to do?
in the taxi on the way to dinner

I'm not an up the date girl
*sigh* they never are :weep:

[Gremlin]

This thread is reminiscent of that young guy asking for advice on how to ask a girl out... can't be arsed find that thread but it was an excellent laugh.

Wanna root?

[ducatilover]

are you sure you're not lesbian
You're about as smooth as chlorine and vodka.


Is that what you say to all the girls who think you're a twat?
:clap:

[nadroj]

Twat does NOT equal twot!

[nzspokes]

This thread is full of LOL.:lol:


Cant remember my last date. :(

[Swoop]

It's a slippery slope, be proper cakes then dessert before you know it. Chained to the stove, rug rats hauling at your pinnie strings.. you wondering where all the fun went.. :weep:
I'm wondering how long the chain from the stove is, that allows GM to access a computer.:scratch:

What is happening to the world? Women will be allowed to vote next.

Is this thread going to become some sort of reality dating show on KB :corn: The not so secret life of FantaPants.

Where do I subscribe?
So long as it does not involve someone being "voted off" each week. That type of TV is the lowest of the low.

*sigh* they never are :weep:
Bloody <STRIKE>honda</STRIKE> riders. Oops, Yamaha riders'.:killingme

[oneofsix]

I'm wondering how long the chain from the stove is, that allows GM to access a computer.:scratch:


That's one of the failures of Wifi, they can now put the laptop or tablet or even smartphone on the kitchen bench. I know they are only meant to use it for checking recipes but you can't trust them. :clap:

[Swoop]

That's one of the failures of Wifi, they can now put the laptop or tablet or even smartphone on the kitchen bench. I know they are only meant to use it for checking recipes but you can't trust them. :clap:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/147533-How-s-that-new-iPad?p=1130275188#post1130275188

[scissorhands]

Get a dog. Here in Grey Lynn, I'm central to 5 dog parks, Grey Lynn Park, Western Park, Meola Reef, Western Springs and Nixon park. During certain times, these parks are visited by copious nubile fuck bunnies with mutts. 'sigh'

I never had as much pussy as when I had a dog. No porkies. Bit hard on the dogs being tied up watching you root, prolly psychologically damaging.

4-6pm the springs has a ton of cougars doing laps too:drool: if your gay cruise the springs bogs at night for a good time

My surfing mate down the street is always with a new girl from 'Mondiale', the tappas bar and local. I went with him one night and its honestly wall to wall women. He speaks with these halloed tones as if hes found the holy grail

[scissorhands]

**In the 21st century cosmetic surgery allows us to change and enhance facial flaws thus reinventing our personalities. As with everything that is evolving in our reality, so too is the way we look. The person with the eagle shaped nose of the past, now can have a perfectly sculptured nose thus changing personality identification and behavior**

This article looks at facial analysis from a psychological and psychic perspective.

Personality analysis based on individual facial features is for the most part subjective. We learn in Astrology that one must look at the total chart to understand the person's behavior and destiny. The same holds true for facial analysis. Different people with the same nose, eyes, or mouth, may have totally different personality characteristics, just as twins born at the same time, can be different in personality, learning abilities, and life goals.

We all read faces and size up people within minutes after we meet them. Early in life we learn to recognize facial features and expressions as a key to personality types. This is often based on stereotypic patterns and past experience with different types of people. Reality is about patterns that repeat in personal experience, so we can identify behavior.

Taking this to the psychic level, we not only view the face based on past conditioning and patterns of behavior, but we begin to intuit what a specific type of face means. This is sometimes based on ethnic and racial origins. Some people find a specific facial feature challenging, while others connect immediately. This goes to patterns of conditioning. Many people become skilled at analyzing personality types and disorders based on facial features, hair, facial expressions, eye movements, and particularly nervous facial habits.

One might view this as 'face reading' called Physignomy (Greek for nature and interpreter), an effort to understand the mind and personality by evaluating various facial traits as the nose, eyes, chin and cheekbone shape; in short, judging people by their faces. Physignomy is linked with the scientific term Phrenology.

The more we experience in life, the better we get at reading faces and relating them to personality types and disorders. The face is a rich source of information about human behavior and is one of the many tools used by psychic readers. Facial displays indicate emotion, pain, brain function and pathology/health, and regulate social behavior.

People with certain mental illnesses, or learning challenges, such as Down's Syndrome, will display specific facial distortions that we learn to associate with disabilities.

As with all things in the duality of reality, both sides of the face are not symmetrical, each expression something another aspect of who we are. Look at a picture of your face, then covering the right side, then the left, you will see the differences in each side. Holding the photo up to a mirror will also give you another perspective. When look at your face to discover past lives and observe facial features that change or morph, try mirror scrying with a candle or flashlight, in a dark room.

In the 21st century cosmetic surgery allows us to change and enhance facial flaws thus reinventing our personalities. As with everything that is evolving in our reality, so too is the way we look. The person with the eagle shaped nose of the past, now can have a perfectly sculptured nose thus changing personality identification and behavior.

Faces change as we age, the main features often changing as well. Facial aging is linked to genetics and the person's life. It is also affected by time spent in the sun.

The information below is general and a brief overview of what your brain processes when meeting someone.

Facial analysis is not an exact science, but rather subjective, and open to many factors in a person's life, from genetics to environmental influences. Below are patterns that suggest certain personality types based on facial features. We learn in metaphysics that each aspect of the face that is studied, has both a negative and positive connotation. What you 'read' while doing facial analysis, should not always be taken at 'face value'!



Hair

Hair makes a statement of its own. To look young, keep your hair in a youthful color and style. Style, texture, color, and length reflect personality, sexuality, from personality disorders. People who color their hair black, often suffer from depression, the outer expression mirroring the inner self. Astrological signs often link with hair; i.e. someone with a Leo Sun, will generally have a thick mane of hair.

Now let's look at the ....



Face

It all begins with the eyes - consciousness and perception. Most people are drawn to look directly at the eyes first, unless there is a unique feature on the face that calls their attention. When two people meet, eye contact allows them, within a few seconds, to determine a connection or not. Eyes are the windows of the soul and reflect our inner self and issues.

Eye color is important, with light eye often more favorable then dark -- the lighter the better. Uniquely colored eyes, lighter shades of blue, seem to trigger higher frequency spiritual significance for some.

The person who looks away or has small squinty eyes is secretive and perhaps a dysfunctional personality, someone who does not want to relate. In contrast, a wandering or shifty eye portends a nature given to unsettled and inconsistent habits.

Direct eye contact reflects a personality, that can be controlling, strong, yet honest.

Unevenly set eyes convey that the person is capable of seeing things from a different perspective and applying lateral thought processes to resolving problems.

Ideally with a balanced personality the face has one eye width between each eye; it is even and thus balanced. Eyes closer set to the nose, imply a more limited view of the world. This person may prefer codependent relationships, often remaining at home and not leaving the family once reaching adulthood. This also goes to the person whose life path is parental caretaker. In this case, the person may feel cheated in life, have emotional problems involving moods swings. Professional help should be sought.

People with eyes set wider apart, may be more open minded about life and reality. They often fall into the holistic sciences as a means of self awareness, and find themselves in creative careers that reflect their inner issues. They need space, to be sure and can move on with the drop of a hat. Some have learning challenges, but that does not mean you should be the one to point out their faults, or they will leave. Not bad as friend, but not good in romantic relationships.


Deep set eyes go to deep, intense personality issues. and a serious mind These are the observers who like creative things and inspiring others with artistic expression. They are soul searchers, often here to make a difference with their endeavors. They are romantic and sometimes spontaneous. They are of sound judgement, compassionate and serious minded.



Eyelids

If you look at the eyelids of people through the millennia who were seers, great philosophers, creative geniuses, writers ... you will note they that many had heavy eyelids.

Cosmetic surgery on eyelids changes the look of the face as well.



Eyebrows

The shape of the eyebrows is easily altered with tweezing or waxing excess hair. One must note the end result to associate with personality type. Many people enhance their eyebrows with pencil or eye shadows. As people age, or if they are sick, the partial or full loss of one or both eyebrows is possible.

Eyebrows

One raised eyebrow: curiosity
Developed: high degree of dexterity and ability with the hand, engineers, technical careers
Full, well shaped: outgoing, observan
Highly arched: dramatic
Low set: impulsive temperament
Higher brow: More cautious attitude in decision making
Single thick brow over the bridge of the nose: intensity, possessiveness, jealous
Straight: aesthetic and sensitive temperament



Forehead - Head

The forehead is the largest part of the face in most cases. Generally, male foreheads have a relatively flat slope from the hairline to the brow, where women's foreheads have a convex curve both vertically and horizontally. Male foreheads often have a heavy bony ridge just above the eyes, in a line beneath the eyebrows. This is called brow bossing. A brow lift is a soft tissue procedure which tightens skin on the forehead and raises the eyebrows. This is usually done with an incision at the hairline, or endoscopically from smaller incisions within the scalp hair. This has the effect of opening up the face and making you look less stern and tired. However, it has no effect on the underlying bone, so its effects are not as dramatic as bony work. A brow lift is often done at the same time as bony forehead work.

Forehead

Flat: pragmatic nature
Wide: Intelligence, skilled worker, good student, practical in life, idealistic, creative
High, rounded and deep: idealistic, friendships important
Shallow forehead with a low hairline, perhaps with a widow's peak: problems with career choices, which will change through the person's life, thoughtful, idealistic, wants to help others, health career
Exaggerated: dreamer, needs to focus on detail
Receding: often found in men with male pattern baldness, may indicate impatient and spontaneous manner in life, esteem issues
Indented: emotional problems, learning challenges, and difficulty completing tasks -- with indented eyebrow ridge - quick tempered, impulsive, ambitious
Pointed: higher intelligence especially if the hairline is set back and not narrow.

Head Shape
Height of the crown indicates the idealism but more so the authority of the person. When the crown is low the person lacks in confidence to the degree that the crown is underdeveloped. An overdeveloped goes to a tyrannical, authoritarian nature. A well developed crown shows an ambitious nature.
Upper portion of the top of the head relates to imagination in proportion to its development and the dominance
Width or narrowness when viewed from the front: passive
Length: reveals foresight
Short head, when viewed sideways can indicate lack of forethought and a more live-in-the -moment attitude.

Wrinkles
The appearance of wrinkle and lines on the face are usually genetic. They may also speak of a troubled life, too much time spent in the sun, and are sometimes called 'worry lines.' Once again, in this day and age, they can be concealed with botox, collagen, skin peels, makeup, and skin creams.

Wrinkles could be less than skin deep New Scientist - March 2005



Nose

The shape of the nose is genetic, unless broken or fixed. Much is stressed about the nose, causing many people to resort to rhinoplasty to create the most flattering look and sometimes for breathing purposes.

Chiseled features have always been in vogue. Most popular is a nose that has a high, straight, full and fleshy tip with gently flared but protected nostrils. The fleshy tip indicates cordiality and warmth of personality and an empathic nature. These people can set high standards for themselves and are generally polite.

Oversized nose tips: violent tendencies; the larger tip, the more prone to acts of violence.
Eagle shaped - or hooked nose - portrays strong will, independence and enterprise with successful during middle ages.
Upturned: luck in social circumstances and a love of socializing
High bridge and pointed: energetic, curious person, self reliant
Large: high energy, but may be more materially concerned than spiritual matters
Small: shy and reserved
Thin: emotional, high strung, fussy, annoying
Wide nose indicates an expressive person who is often aloof
Long: prudence and anxiety
Short perky: natural personality generally happy
Short snubby: friendly but secretive disposition, slow moving
Straight: disciplined, methodical

The groove on the upper lip below the nose is called the philtrum. If it is clearly marked, deep and long, it indicates strong and healthy energy levels and vitality. Flat, weak and unpronounced philtrums are sometimes indicative of reduced life force energy.



Mouth - Lips - Teeth

The mouth is related to communication, speech and the sensual appetites like eating and sex. The lips relate to our ability to nurture others in loving relationships. Many woman enlarge their lips as it makes them look more seductive.

Upper lip is considerably thinner than the lower lip: an inability to reciprocate in relationships.
Thinner lower lip: an overly giving nature
Full lips that are round: caring and sensitive
Upper and lower lips in equal proportion: a well meaning and communicative personality
Large lips: expensive tastes, generous, witty
Large mouth: very vocal under pressure, needs to verbalize their issues
Small lips tightly pursed: anal personality, generally self-centered and controlling.
Mouth with downwardslope: discontent, difficult personality
Mouth with upward curve: pleasant disposition, one who laughs at life.
Narrow lips: detached, lives more or less an internalized life, never able to enjoy the pleasure of sharing deeper feelings.

Teeth: Many missing teeth generally indicate emotional problems



Jaw and Chin

Wide jaw: authoritative, stubborn, controlling, has strong convictions and is not easily swayed
Short jaw: submissive

There are 9 types of chins:

Round - seeks proof of answers and empirical evidence
Square - in later life will have luck and money
Pointed - independence and determination
Narrow - narrow-minded
Wide - outgoing
Short - successful in business
Long - ego issues
Dimpled - dreamer but hard worker
Weak or receding - weak personality



Ears

Ears can also he altered with surgery, usually pinned back thus changing the shape of the face.

The ear is spiraled shaped like the nautilus which in metaphysics takes us to sacred geometry and the movement of consciousness - golden ratio.

Ears should exhibit good, fleshy inner and outer helixes. Thin and poorly shaped outer helixes may reveal diminishing health.

Set Close to Head: Planner, thrifty, cover his bets
Protruding: Curious, creative
Small lobes: Creative, good with detail
Large lobes: Independent, strong willed
Large ears: Intellectual, likes sports
Longer than wider ears: Keen, impractical
Small ears: Instinctive, controlling
No lobes: Unresponsive, lacks purpose, emotional problems
Distorted lobes: Sneaky



Cheeks

High cheek bones: confident, watch drinking habits, outgoing, cautious yet friendly, authoritative
Overly red: lung and bronchial imbalance
Shiny and red: gallbladder and/or heart problems
Red and Blushed: allergies, digestive problems
Dark or gray tinge - depression
Mole on the upper cheek, down from the eye, attractive, temperamental, royal, psychic
Fleshy: frugal, economical disposition, thrifty,
Undeveloped: communication skills may need work. In palmistry you would have a short Mercury (pinky) finger
Strong in their presentation and are pronounced but lacking at the base: forceful sometimes, aggressive
Narrow but strong: Stubborn, opinionated,

[nudemetalz]

Can you expand on that please, Scissorhands?

[oneofsix]

Can you expand on that please, Scissorhands?

It was a bit too condensed wasn't it? I thought it was all about the golden ratio, something to do with pies? :scratch:

[scissorhands]

It was a bit too condensed wasn't it? I thought it was all about the golden ratio, something to do with pies? :scratch:

he, all that and they never mentioned the golden ratio

cutie pies?

[cowboyz]

Ill bling anyone who actually read that post!

[willytheekid]

Ill bling anyone who actually read that post!

Im nearly there...I think Im doing rather well to! :sweatdrop

http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/readdum.jpg

[willytheekid]

Ill bling anyone who actually read that post!

...and Im Done!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3221/2914543497_e2df96b114.jpg

[Zedder]

Ill bling anyone who actually read that post!

Nah I couldn't, I poked myself in the eyes after the first paragraph.

[Gremlin]

Ill bling anyone who actually read that post!
Fuck, I ain't that desperate :weird:

[willytheekid]

Fuck, I ain't that desperate :weird:


Nah I couldn't, I poked myself in the eyes after the first paragraph.

Butt it wash tottely wooorf it!

http://www.2dayblog.com/images/2011/august/550x-totally-worth-it-eh.jpg

....well...maybee not! (see what I did there ;))

(Got REP...But now my head hurts!...and no mention of tits OR arse in all that!...sheeesh)

[Zedder]

Butt it wash tottely wooorf it!

http://www.2dayblog.com/images/2011/august/550x-totally-worth-it-eh.jpg

....well...maybee not! (see what I did there ;))

(Got REP...But now my head hurts!...and no mention of tits OR arse in all that!...sheeesh)

Behive yaself or buzz off!!

[scissorhands]

Nah I couldn't, I poked myself in the eyes after the first paragraph.

oh you boys are beastly

was that after the eyes too close together bit?

[Stirts]

I am sorry Mr Scissorhands ... but the fundamentals of perving have NOTHING to do with the Face and Hair.

It is ALL about the tits, arse, cock and balls ... not nescessarily all those things on the one person, but each to their own I say :D

[scissorhands]

I am sorry Mr Scissorhands ... but the fundamentals of perving have NOTHING to do with the Face and Hair.

It is ALL about the tits, arse, cock and balls ... not nescessarily all those things on the one person, but each to their own I say :D

At last an honest woman

But thats just rooting advice, not dating which involves relating and talking to your hump buddy

Or do you just get up and leave after?

[Zedder]

oh you boys are beastly

was that after the eyes too close together bit?

Ooooh that hurt..... No seriously, if you would cast your eyes back to my post you would know I stopped reading after the first paragraph. Or was that too long ago?

[scissorhands]

Instructions on how to fuck a dolphin

http://www.insolitology.com/guides/fuckdolphin.htm

[placidfemme]

Instructions on how to fuck a dolphin

http://www.insolitology.com/guides/fuckdolphin.htm

perfect... I got the feeling my dolphin didn't like my strap-on... will try this

[Red39]

I
Instructions on how to fuck a dolphin

http://www.insolitology.com/guides/fuckdolphin.htm

Now that's misleading. Fucking a dolphin I can just about comprehend but giving it cuddles and showing it affection too. Next the dolphin will want a diamond ring;-) it's a slippery slope......

[george formby]

I

Now that's misleading. Fucking a dolphin I can just about comprehend but giving it cuddles and showing it affection too. Next the dolphin will want a diamond ring;-) it's a slippery slope......

Much like this thread. I feel such a dork for being sincere at the beginning:facepalm: Oh well, good guys come last etc.

P.S. I can expand your muffin repertoire GM.

[GingerMidget]

Much like this thread. I feel such a dork for being sincere at the beginning:facepalm: Oh well, good guys come last etc.

P.S. I can expand your muffin repertoire GM.

I make rather excellent lemon ones. Haha the good ones come last because they let her first! :lol:

[TrentNz]

http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/picture/cybrok/GingerMidget.png

[GingerMidget]

http://www.thealmightyguru.com/Humor/Images/JesusLovesYouCunt.jpg

[TrentNz]

I'm an atheist sorry.

[george formby]

http://edge.ebaumsworld.com/picture/cybrok/GingerMidget.png

That's the Gordon Ramsay lookalike porn star who was recently found dead in a badger sett.:lol: Famed for such genre classic's as "Hi ho Hi ho it's up your a#$e we go"

[blue rider]

dont know bout jesus and dolphins....ginger or not

but always be careful whom one should takes home for plays


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzmMB8dTwGs&feature=related

[jrandom]

<img src="http://i44.tinypic.com/2dv0aqv.jpg"/>

[ducatilover]

I'm an atheist sorry.
The last come back I had that was that bad was left in your mother's mouth.

[Red39]

Much like this thread. I feel such a dork for being sincere at the beginning:facepalm: Oh well, good guys come last etc.



Lol. Had to go back and re-read your post. Is the first line your usual pick up line? Not bad for an Englishman ;)

[Stirts]

But thats just rooting advice, not dating which involves relating and talking to your hump buddy


No, that is my perving advice. My rooting advice would be, don't wait for him to suggest doggy-style - a good woman will roll over and present. Oh and don't qweef on the first root ... it is bad manners.

And what is this dating thing you speak of? Foreplay that costs money :yawn:

[Newbi]

No, that is my perving advice. My rooting advice would be, don't wait for him to suggest doggy-style - a good woman will roll over and present. Oh and don't qweef on the first root ... it is bad manners.

And what is this dating thing you speak of? Foreplay that costs money :yawn:

If ya gonna bang some sheila doggy style then ya gonna pump a fair whack of air up there, So if ya not wanting Queef, then ya better avoid that position lol.

[Stirts]

If ya gonna bang some sheila doggy style then ya gonna pump a fair whack of air up there, So if ya not wanting Queef, then ya better avoid that position lol.

:gob: Only if you have a bucket fanny!

[Newbi]

:gob: Only if you have a bucket fanny!

Hahah, or a really small cock!

[placidfemme]

Hahah, or a really small cock!

nice! I was going to say that but couldn't be bothered

[george formby]

Lol. Had to go back and re-read your post. Is the first line your usual pick up line? Not bad for an Englishman ;)


Ha! Chat up line. Moi? Nooooo, I'm too shy for such ploys. I have been known to ask a date if she would like to come back to my place & f@#k like a bunny if the chemistry is there. Works surprisingly well.:rolleyes:

[Red39]

Ha! Chat up line. Moi? Nooooo, I'm too shy for such ploys. I have been known to ask a date if she would like to come back to my place & f@#k like a bunny if the chemistry is there. Works surprisingly well.:rolleyes:

:rofl:Holy shit...can't believe that line works. You must have the looks of an Adonis:cool: No point beating about the bush though. Hold on, pretty much guessing you do that too eh:lol:

[george formby]

:rofl:Holy shit...can't believe that line works. You must have the looks of an Adonis:cool: No point beating about the bush though. Hold on, pretty much guessing you do that too eh:lol:

Exactly what I thought when it accidentally slipped out the first time. I figure that when you reach the point in a date when "that" question is on your mind, pheromones floating about & your date is showing a few tells, playing with the hair, not blinking very often, leaning closer, tilting the head to show the neck etc then you might as well state what your thinking before you get too pi$$ed.

The only resemblance to Adonis I have is the dirty broken look of a 2000 year old statue.

[Red39]

Exactly what I thought when it accidentally slipped out the first time. I figure that when you reach the point in a date when "that" question is on your mind, pheromones floating about & your date is showing a few tells, playing with the hair, not blinking very often, leaning closer, tilting the head to show the neck etc then you might as well state what your thinking before you get too pi$$ed.

The only resemblance to Adonis I have is the dirty broken look of a 2000 year old statue.


Aha, you been reading Body Language for Beginners again? :) if your date isn't blinking very often could be that the drugs you slipped in her drink are starting to take effect!! You're pretty much guaranteed a root then anyway ;)

[george formby]

Aha, you been reading Body Language for Beginners again? :) if your date isn't blinking very often could be that the drugs you slipped in her drink are starting to take effect!! You're pretty much guaranteed a root then anyway ;)

Nah, I prefer bunny action to necrophilia.
Forgot to mention pupils dilating, colour rising in the cheeks, plumping of the lips, open body position etc. All caused by unbridled & overwhelming lust for some hot bunny love.:killingme:baby:

[Newbi]

Not to mention the wet patch on the barstool.:lol:

[george formby]

Not to mention the wet patch on the barstool.:lol:

That's only obvious when you go to the loo & usually ends up with " get your coat, you've pulled".

[Red39]

Nah, I prefer bunny action to necrophilia.
Forgot to mention pupils dilating, colour rising in the cheeks, plumping of the lips, open body position etc. All caused by unbridled & overwhelming lust for some hot bunny love.:killingme:baby:

Or they might have overdosed on cocaine prior to the date......just sayin :)

But you're probably right, it'll be the imminent prospect of hot rabbit sex...do you have long ears and a short fluffy tail or is it your date that does?

[george formby]

Or they might have overdosed on cocaine prior to the date......just sayin :)

But you're probably right, it'll be the imminent prospect of hot rabbit sex...do you have long ears and a short fluffy tail or is it your date that does?

No, but I can crack my shirt tail like a whip.

I wait until we know each other a bit better before I suggest cos-play. My favourite is the tank commander & the nun. I blame the Sound of Music for that particular fetish.

[Red39]

No, but I can crack my shirt tail like a whip.

I wait until we know each other a bit better before I suggest cos-play. My favourite is the tank commander & the nun. I blame the Sound of Music for that particular fetish.

Don't tell me......you also like making dresses out of curtains....and you like your dates to call you "Maria". Seriously GF, the more you post, the more peculiar you get :rolleyes:.....not necessarily a bad thing though :lol:

[george formby]

Don't tell me......you also like making dresses out of curtains....and you like your dates to call you "Maria". Seriously GF, the more you post, the more peculiar you get :rolleyes:.....not necessarily a bad thing though :lol:

:lol:T'is the interweb. In reality I have a comb over, a subscription to steam train monthly & a penchant for loud cardigans & wool lined slippers. It's getting so bad I'm looking at putting a sidecar on my bike.

[Red39]

:lol:T'is the interweb. In reality I have a comb over, a subscription to steam train monthly & a penchant for loud cardigans & wool lined slippers. It's getting so bad I'm looking at putting a sidecar on my bike.

So, you've either just described Wallace or Gromit.....um, it all fits now, this obsession with bunny sex. Did you star in Curse of the Were Rabbit????:killingme

[Red39]

In reality I have a come over, .

Yeah, a come over is something entirely different....:lol:

[george formby]

So, you've either just described Wallace or Gromit.....um, it all fits now, this obsession with bunny sex. Did you star in Curse of the Were Rabbit????:killingme

Oh no! This is very twighlight zone. I love Wallace & Gromit & do a very fair impersonation of Wallace, the dog is a tough one with the lines he gets.

I look more like this.


259478

[Red39]

Oh no! This is very twighlight zone. I love Wallace & Gromit & do a very fair impersonation of Wallace, the dog is a tough one with the lines he gets.

I look more like this.


259478

Now I can see why your lines work....what woman could resist? :)

[oneofsix]

Now I can see why your lines work....what woman could resist? :)

Which is it that appeals to the woman; the bumbling idiot that so obviously requires a woman to sort out his life or the cute puppy dog look? Or is that they are made from clay and therefore so easily moulded?

[Newbi]

Which is it that appeals to the woman; the bumbling idiot that so obviously requires a woman to sort out his life or the cute puppy dog look? Or is that they are made from clay and therefore so easily moulded?

Neither, Be strong and straight to the point.

[Red39]

Which is it that appeals to the woman; the bumbling idiot that so obviously requires a woman to sort out his life or the cute puppy dog look? Or is that they are made from clay and therefore so easily moulded?

Are you suggesting that women like pliable men so that we may shape them into a form more agreeable to us? Why that would make us devious, underhand schemers. That's outrageous. ;)

[Crasherfromwayback]

Are you suggesting that women like pliable men so that we may shape them into a form more agreeable to us? Why that would make us devious, underhand schemers. That's outrageous. ;)

It would also make said guy a pussy whipped softcock that'd have no respect from his partner and end up getting the boot anyway!

[george formby]

It would also make said guy a pussy whipped softcock that'd have no respect from his partner and end up getting the boot anyway!

Usually when I'm manipulated & plied with an under hand it has the opposite effect.

[blue rider]

Neither, Be strong and straight to the point.

oh oh oh......oh that coming from you .....oh :cool:

[Newbi]

oh oh oh......oh that coming from you .....oh :cool:

Jeeze, spit it out Blue, what are ya trying to say? :lol:

[george formby]

Jeeze, spit it out Blue, what are ya trying to say? :lol:

The way this thread is going that could be misinterpreted.

[nadroj]

Men marry women hoping they don't change but do.
Women marry men hoping to change them but are unable to.

[blue rider]

The way this thread is going that could be misinterpreted.

never ever could this happen not on kb

[Red39]

Men marry women hoping they don't change but do.
Women marry men hoping to change them but are unable to.

You're deluded if you think a woman can't change a man.....you might be the exception to the rule nadroj ;)

[Newbi]

never ever could this happen not on kb

I'm still none the wiser as to what it was you were trying to say with your previous OhOhOh comment :lol:

[Stirts]

Jeeze, spit it out Blue


http://relationshipplaybook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/decisions-spit-or-swallow-demotivational-poster-200x200.jpg

[Newbi]

Spit definately Spit:sick:

[newhere]

Spit definately Spit:sick:

Fark NO don't waste it :cool:

[Newbi]

Fark NO don't waste it :cool:

Oh that's just a liitle too much information right there hahahah, Have you found a supply thats nice to swallow???:lol:

[newhere]

Oh that's just a liitle too much information right there hahahah, Have you found a supply thats nice to swallow???:lol:

LOLOL :whistle: why do you ask?

[caspernz]

You're deluded if you think a woman can't change a man.....you might be the exception to the rule nadroj ;)

Oooohh them are big words. I've yet to meet the woman that can change me in a direction that's not agreeable to me.

As for internet dating, I'm married to a naughty girl I met on the interweb about 12 years ago, so it does work.

[Newbi]

LOLOL :whistle: why do you ask?

Well that would just be telling now wouldn't it:lol:

[Newbi]

LOLOL :whistle: why do you ask?

Oh and because if it tastes great, we girls need to know the recipe. :killingme

[TrentNz]

Oh and because if it tastes great, we girls need to know the recipe. :killingme

ill show you :clap:

[newhere]

Oh and because if it tastes great, we girls need to know the recipe. :killingme

You mean your husband hasn't shown you yet :wait:.......

[Newbi]

ill show you :clap:

Hmmm, lucky me????, don't think so.

[nzspokes]

I'm married to a naughty girl I met on the interweb about 12 years ago, so it does work.

Is she real or inflatable? :bleh:

[Newbi]

You mean your husband hasn't shown you yet :wait:.......

Thanks for that!, and yeah I've been "shown" over and over and over again actually. Oh and a tip, pineapple juice improves it, Beer makes it worse.:banana:

[newhere]

Thanks for that!, and yeah I've been "shown" over and over and over again actually. Oh and a tip, pineapple juice improves it, Beer makes it worse.:banana:

Thanks for what????? Nah I prefer mine straight :lol:

[nzspokes]

Thanks for that!, and yeah I've been "shown" over and over and over again actually. Oh and a tip, pineapple juice improves it, Beer makes it worse.:banana:

What about a nice Pinot?

[Newbi]

What about a nice Pinot?

Not sure about that Spokes, Maybe you should do some trials? :2thumbsup

[nzspokes]

Not sure about that Spokes, Maybe you should do some trials? :2thumbsup

Ive not got any Pinot.

[caspernz]

Is she real or inflatable? :bleh:

Haha, she replaced the inflatable one...

[nzspokes]

Haha, she replaced the inflatable one...

Punctured?

[Indiana_Jones]

If she smokes, she pokes?

-Indy

[caspernz]

Punctured?

No, improved model with that real life personality...no need to inflate to 35 psi prior to fun'n'games :lol:

[TrentNz]

i eat pussy for breakfast.

[Newbi]

i eat pussy for breakfast.

Hahahah and you supply your own milk to go with it.:lol:

[TrentNz]

Hahahah and you supply your own milk to go with it.:lol:

i chuck it in my coffee :2thumbsup

[Newbi]

i chuck it in my coffee :2thumbsup

Oh a little salty tang to your morning brew then :killingme

[ducatilover]

Oh a little salty tang to your morning brew then :killingme
His boyfriend makes sure of it

[Newbi]

His boyfriend makes sure of it

So they milk eachothers coffee then,:sick:

[mashman]

So they milk eachothers coffee then,:sick:

Oh. Chocolate milk.

[Newbi]

Oh. Chocolate milk.

Eww 2 guys 1 cup. :laugh:

[GingerMidget]

I think trent is more one man, one jar.

[TrentNz]

I think trent is more one man, one jar.

Mmm i do love a bit of soggy biscuit on the side :sweatdrop

[scissorhands]

what is it with you two?

[mashman]

Eww 2 guys 1 cup. :laugh:

I cannot spread for you again.



what is it with you two?

foreplay?

[blue rider]

what is it with you two?

they dare not speak.....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePNCqw11CD4

might help them along.....:laugh:

[scissorhands]

I cannot spread for you again


uummm okay then

[Newbi]

[QUOTE=mashman;1130278604]I cannot spread for you again.

I can't recall you ever spreading anything for me, I think i'd remember that:laugh:

[cowboyz]

[QUOTE=mashman;1130278604]I cannot spread for you again.

I can't recall you ever spreading anything for me, I think i'd remember that:laugh:

but theres been so many.. you cant be expected to remember them all.............

[blue rider]

[QUOTE=mashman;1130278604]I cannot spread for you again.

I can't recall you ever spreading anything for me, I think i'd remember that:laugh:



hmmmm, i am sure there are moments you would so not remember....lol

[Newbi]

[QUOTE=Newbi;1130278724]

but theres been so many.. you cant be expected to remember them all.............

Well yeah, you could be right :laugh:

[Newbi]

[QUOTE=Newbi;1130278724]



hmmmm, i am sure there are moments you would so not remember....lol

Hey you!, I might be a cheap drunk, but I'm not "that" cheap.:laugh:

[TrentNz]

One at a time please.
DP is on offer at an extended price.

[Newbi]

One at a time please.
DP is on offer at an extended price.

One at a time is no fun, :laugh:

[mashman]

I can't recall you ever spreading anything for me, I think i'd remember that:laugh:

You would have likely burned your eyes out so that you'd never have to see such a sight again :). The little box told me I couldn't spread anymore.

[cowboyz]

[QUOTE=blue rider;1130278727]

Hey you!, I might be a cheap drunk, but I'm not "that" cheap.:laugh:

DAMN.. I was gonna ask for your number.. moving on...............

[Newbi]

You would have likely burned your eyes out so that you'd never have to see such a sight again :). The little box told me I couldn't spread anymore.

Dam that little box:laugh:

[TrentNz]

Dam that little box:laugh:

I love playing with boxes :shit:

[Newbi]

I love playing with boxes :shit:

I bet you do:yes:

[TrentNz]

Do you have any spare boxes laying around i can have :innocent:

[Newbi]

Do you have any spare boxes laying around i can have :innocent:

And what do you intend to do with them exactly?:laugh:

[nzspokes]

Do you have any spare boxes laying around i can have :innocent:

Jeez man just ask for a shag. You wont get anywhere not asking for it. :facepalm:

[TrentNz]

turn them into paper-mache using my special glue :shifty:

[mashman]

Dam that little box:laugh:

yer fair damn tootin... that bloody thing, gave me 3 kids :love: and destroyed my life :shifty:

[Newbi]

Jeez man just ask for a shag. You wont get anywhere not asking for it. :facepalm:

So your a straight to the point kinda guy aye Spokes? It would probably be a breath of fresh air for some ladies.:laugh:

[nzspokes]

So your a straight to the point kinda guy aye Spokes? It would probably be a breath of fresh air for some ladies.:laugh:

Obviously this would come after a date, wine and a nice walk along the waterfront. Then ask for a shag. :wings:

My guess just walking up to a lady in the street and asking for a shag may not work out well, and you may spend a little time in jail.:shutup:

The hard part is working out if the girl you like is interested in you. They dont seem to come with a manual. :facepalm:

[TrentNz]

Wana fuck?

[cowboyz]

Obviously this would come after a date, wine and a nice walk along the waterfront. Then ask for a shag. :wings:



I think it goes.. date. wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine stumble shag

[Newbi]

Wana fuck?

How cute your asking Spokes for a fuck, after all he is the one who made the suggestion.

[Newbi]

I think it goes.. date. wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine wine stumble shag

Na, not wine :laugh:

[Newbi]

Obviously this would come after a date, wine and a nice walk along the waterfront. Then ask for a shag. :wings:

My guess just walking up to a lady in the street and asking for a shag may not work out well, and you may spend a little time in jail.:shutup:

The hard part is working out if the girl you like is interested in you. They dont seem to come with a manual. :facepalm:

No, no manual, where's the fun in that:laugh:

[TrentNz]

How cute your asking Spokes for a fuck, after all he is the one who made the suggestion.

Oh no no no, me and spokes have already had a root before.

[mashman]

The hard part is working out if the girl you like is interested in you. They dont seem to come with a manual. :facepalm:

A man reading a manual... not a convincing argument :)

[GingerMidget]

Na, not wine :laugh:

Hahahaha wine led to my last drunken encounter. And the one before that. But that also led to curtains being broken, and a hangover at work the next day. Found the midnight 'find my phone' voicemail the other day too. Was quite funny.

[nzspokes]

No, no manual, where's the fun in that:laugh:

To be fair, most women give up waiting and ask me out. :facepalm:

Last one cost me a house. <_<

Not that im bitter. :angry:

[newhere]

To be fair, most women give up waiting and ask me out. :facepalm:

Last one cost me a house. <_<

Not that im bitter. :angry:

Much :blink:

That does suck for you :facepalm:

[Newbi]

Oh no no no, me and spokes have already had a root before.

Ooh not a pretty image that one:no:

[Red39]

I bet you do:yes:

Hey Newbi, why don't you and Trent arrange to meet halfway, book a room in Welly and see what happens? I know he gives the impression of being a complete fuckwit but I reckon he lies in bed at night with his glass of pinot gris whilst reading Jane Austen novels. You could be on to a winner!! ;)

[Newbi]

To be fair, most women give up waiting and ask me out. :facepalm:

Last one cost me a house. <_<

Not that im bitter. :angry:

Well come on get out there and start asking, all they can do is say no.

[Newbi]

Hey Newbi, why don't you and Trent arrange to meet halfway, book a room in Welly and see what happens? I know he gives the impression of being a complete fuckwit but I reckon he lies in bed at night with his glass of pinot gris whilst reading Jane Austen novels. You could be on to a winner!! ;)

Ooh tempting, but i'm not about to meet anywhere without seeing proof of his prince like good looks hahahahahahah

[TrentNz]

Well come on get out there and start asking, all they can do is say no.

Wana go out

[Newbi]

Wana go out

Hmmm tempting :laugh: But "NO"

[TrentNz]

Oh okay.
'NEXT'

[Newbi]

Oh okay.
'NEXT'

Your a relatively funny guy :laugh:

[Red39]

Ooh tempting, but i'm not about to meet anywhere without seeing proof of his prince like good looks hahahahahahah

Well, you know he shaves his balls - what more do ya need to know. Ha....

[Newbi]

Well, you know he shaves his balls - what more do ya need to know. Ha....

Hahhaa, thats just gonna make them all spikey, he should wax the little fuckers hahahahah

[nzspokes]

Much :blink:

That does suck for you :facepalm:

LOL, over it now........

[TrentNz]

Hahhaa, thats just gonna make them all spikey, he should wax the little fuckers hahahahah

Pff rotary sander works much better, trust me :innocent:

[Red39]

Pff rotary sander works much better, trust me :innocent:

Bet they're nice n shiny too ;)

[TrentNz]

Bet they're nice n shiny too ;)

Hah, well not trying to brag or anything but... :shifty:

[Newbi]

Hah, well not trying to brag or anything but... :shifty:

Their not shiny, :laugh:

[TrentNz]

Yeah required stitches to be truthful. was quite a heart 'dropping' experience.

[Madness]

I reckon this thread would be so much more romantic with a nice pink background :love:

[Newbi]

I reckon this thread would be so much more romantic with a nice pink background :love:

And a little Barry White :laugh:

[Red39]

I reckon this thread would be so much more romantic with a nice pink background :love:

Lol +1. Or maybe start new thread entitled TrentNZ wants Newbi real bad :)

[Madness]

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:corn: :corn: