How many Kiwibikers does it take to change a light bulb?

[Danger Dave]

Q. How many kiwibiker forum members it take to change a light bulb?

A.1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

6 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” …

another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is “lamp”

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that “light
bulb” is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take
this discussion to a light bulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where
to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty

5 People to post pics of their own light bulbs

15 People to post “I can’t see S$%^!” and their own light bulbs

7 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL’s

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including
all headers and signatures, and add “Me too”

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they
cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”

13 to say “do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about
light bulbs”

1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that John Key isn’t
the brightest bulb.

4 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.

1 moderator to lock the light bulb thread.

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again.

[Hitcher]

4 to fervently argue that the bulb could be removed with countersteering
17 to wave in a standardised manner.

[unstuck]

:lol::lol: Now thats funny.:clap::niceone:

[Maha]

One, because apparently, the rest of the forum revolves around him.

[blackdog]

One, because apparently, the rest of the forum revolves around him.

Surely it is the light bulb that needs to revolve.

[Maha]

Surely it is the light bulb that needs to revolve.

He is holding onto said light bulb with all he has, in order for said light bulb to secure itself, everything else would have to revolve around him...or her, just a 1/4 turn if it's a bayonet light bulb :cool:

[Murray]

1 to tell us it was our fault the light bulb went out in the first place!!

(wonder who that would be????)

[avgas]

A trillion.
One to hold the lightbulb and 999,999,999,999 to change the world so the light bulb can be placed into the socket.

[Big Dave]

One racist to lower the tone of the bulb.

[mashman]

1 to post about alternatives to light bulbs.

[\m/]

1 to ask "wanna root?"

[blackdog]

1 druggie hippy to point out that with all the acid he's had there are plenty of pretty lights without the need for a bulb.

[Katman]

1 to say it was Jehovah's will that the light bulb blew.

[unstuck]

So what happens if it is LED?

[blackdog]

1 to say it was Jehovah's will that the light bulb blew.

And it never would have blown if it was wired to a battery instead of the mains.

[bogan]

So what happens if it is LED?

9 to post you need beam pattern compliance
8 to say they will just swap back a standard one when it gets checked
5 to point out the beam pattern compliance is there for a reason
3 to say as long as they can see the light other people's vision is not their concern

[Moi]

So what happens if it is LED?

Oh for goodness sake, don't start down that path.... :no:

[unstuck]

9 to post you need beam pattern compliance
8 to say they will just swap back a standard one when it gets checked
5 to point out the beam pattern compliance is there for a reason
3 to say as long as they can see the light other people's vision is not their concern

Sounds reasonable.:niceone:

[Big Dave]

One to

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/MmKTMAak710?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[5150]

1 to post a correct wiring diagram for a light bulb replacement

[ducatilover]

1 to post on how American made bulbs are spying on us and Chinese bulbs have insecticide in them

[haydes55]

1 to post on how American made bulbs are spying on us and Chinese bulbs have insecticide in them


1 lover of ducatis to offer to replace the filament with a higher wattage filament in exchange for beers.

[unstuck]

I to tell us how autistics get persecuted for wanting to change.

[peril 787b]

He is holding onto said light bulb with all he has, blah blah blah around him...or her, just a 1/4 turn if it's a bayonet light bulb :cool:
1 to point out it should only be an 1/8th of a turn for a bayonet...

[Maha]

1 to point out it should only be an 1/8th of a turn for a bayonet...

.....a real smart arse could also point out how many turns to secure a threaded bulb. :cool:

[ducatilover]

64 to tell you that certain bulbs help you meet gays.
17 to say bulbs are not gay
987 to demonstrate how gay bulbs can be
1 surgeon to remove many bulbs
1 to point out the ACC levy on bulbs is increasing

[unstuck]

I blame the P freaks, they are using all the bulbs to smoke the shit.:eek:

[mashman]

1 to point out that seminal fluid can be seen under a UV bulb.
12,000 volunteering to prove the point.

[mashman]

1 to post a parody of Downfall due to light bulb failure


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kx-rKLZQoY

[Woodman]

One to post that most lightbulbs are installed upside down.

[Akzle]

lightbulbs are a jew conspiracy to keep you awake more hours -spending money...

[Mental Trousers]

5 to point out the need for a hi-viz vest when changing the bulb
9 to argue a hi-viz vest does fuck all
11 to point out ATGATT no matter what
1 to move the entire thread to Pointless Drivel
1 to issue lots of warnings and a couple of infractions
2 to deal with the tears over the warnings and infractions
1 to get pissed off with it all and close the thread
1 to announce they've had enough and they're leaving the forum so goodbye
1 to assist the person leaving by banning them for a while

..... I seem to feature in that a few times :laugh:

[BigAl]

10 to ask which lams approved light bulb they should buy.

[Akzle]

should you wave before or after changing a bulb?
Will changing to a heavier weight bulb affect switching?

[unstuck]

Would I get flamed if I changed it to a red light, for all the forum whores around here.:devil2:

[granstar]

Headlight bulb I would believe. :girlfight:

[Big Dave]

Synthetic light bulb?

[Smifffy]

One to complain how hard it was to screw in the light bulb, because somebody must have adjusted something.

One to complain that the bulb should not have blown, since it was last changed 6 months ago.

One to ask for links to sites with information about light bulb changing

Four to post links to sites on lightbulb changing and 3 youtube lightbulb channels

One to say they didn't look at the links because they always change their own lightbulbs

One to post how angry they were at their lightbulb when it blew

One to post about what they were having for breakfast at the time the bulb blew

Six to post that they still can't get lightbulbs in Chch

One to post that they still don't have power in Chch

One to post that even the lightbulbs are better in Australia

One to post that lightbulbs in South Africa never blew until Nelson Mandela came along, and then they never worked, but NZ lightbulbs are shit

Four to post that it was all John Key's fault the lightbulb blew

Three to say it was all a conspiracy and the lightbulb never blew and never needed replacing

Two to say Robin Bain did it, and one to blame Scott Watson

Three to complain about the price of lightbulbs

Two to post links to offshore suppliers of lightbulbs online

One to protest at the lack of gst on private imports of lightbulbs

Two to blame the importers on the closure of local businesses

One to import several and try to flick them on for more than they cost from a local shop

One to post a dirty joke about lightbulbs

One to tell us how many lightbulbs he has fitted to his bike since that time one blew

One to take the whole thing far too far

[blackdog]

One to ...

...too far

My attention span is about 7 milliseconds. That was a fail.

[Grashopper]

1 wanting the batch number of the lightbulb or else it goes international...

[haydes55]

1 guy just sitting here eating paste.

1 guy complaining the light bulb is too loud (blardy yungins wit thur fan dangled 'lectronix).

[KapitiLizard]

1 guy to flame Big Dave for his race remark and explain that while 99% of all lightbulbs are white, that every lightbulb is equal has a right to shine regardless of its colour

[Big Dave]

10 to complain that Scooter riders don't wear the right globes.

[Robbo]

1 to enquire if it's ok to change the said light bulb while on permanent, prescribed medication. :innocent:

[unstuck]

1 to post some crappy punk music about how much they hate light bulbs.:Punk::Punk:

[onearmedbandit]

1 to post up pics of him changing the light bulb with only one hand.

[Kornholio]

5 to say that is nuts and they can hardly change a light bulb with 2 hands let alone 1

[onearmedbandit]

Then that 1 to say, 'Don't worry guys, neither can I'.

[MD]

This thread is useless without pictures, so here is a picture of my light bulb. Coming in at a mere 0.9 kilograms.

[5150]

Or we can all just watch this and learn......;)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWFlvSks9L0

[unstuck]

This thread is useless without pictures, so here is a picture of my light bulb. Coming in at a mere 0.9 kilograms.

Bulb or rizome? Hard to tell what it is from that pic.:scratch:

[5150]

This thread is useless without pictures, so here is a picture of my light bulb. Coming in at a mere 0.9 kilograms.

Is that cabbage?

[unstuck]

Is that cabbage?

This is cabbage.:devil2:

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2012/11/20/1226520/552525-free-dope-2.jpg

[5150]

This is cabbage.:devil2:



:drool::drool::drool::sweatdrop

[Bald Eagle]

1 to say Microsoft have declared Darkness to be the new stanard so the bulb is functioning correctly and will last until upgraded to Darkness v1.1 next year.

[Virago]

Plus one thoroughly anal prick to count and post links to the times this has been posted before:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/19481-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/19481-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb?p=677208#post677208

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/19481-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb?p=997297#post997297

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/19481-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb?p=1227454#post1227454

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/19481-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb?p=1526538#post1526538

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/19481-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb?p=1767304#post1767304

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/19481-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb?p=1771142#post1771142

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/19481-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb?p=1129839410#post1129839410

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/142813-How-many-forum-members-does-it-take-to-change-a-lightbulb

[Moi]

10 to complain that Scooter riders don't wear the right globes.

Yes they do! There's are step through rather than leg over...

[Str8 Jacket]

1 to point out that "guy's there's been a power cut and the light bulb is actually sweet as".

[Smifffy]

1 to post pics of the old and new bulbs

1 to post embedded quoted images of the old and new bulbs

1 mod to remove the embedded quoted image

[Coldrider]

None, no KBers have changed a lightbulb. One saw it being done by his GF and posted about it. The rest is history.

[YellowDog]

Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of visible spectral manifestation know as "smoke".

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: A gentleman does not motor about after dark.

Joseph Lucas The Prince of Darkness? - 1842-1903

[Edbear]

Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of visible spectral manifestation know as "smoke".

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: A gentleman does not motor about after dark.

Joseph Lucas The Prince of Darkness? - 1842-1903

And as we all know, light bulbs do not emit light, they actually suck dark. Once they are full and cannot hold any more dark, they stop sucking dark must be changed.

[Robbo]

Has anybody bothered to ask the light bulb if it wants to be changed?? :angry:

[Edbear]

Did anyone ask the chicken why it crossed the road? :scratch:

[mashman]

Did anyone ask the chicken why it crossed the road? :scratch:

The light had gone out and in the darkness she had strayed from the path.

[Akzle]

The light had gone out and in the darkness she had strayed from the path.

thats very metaphorical of you.

[awayatc]

I am going to order some great quality bright lightbulbs from overseas again soon
so if you want me to order one for you to PM me...

[unstuck]

Tis those bloody women I tells ya, their evil.:devil2:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/R20f-TPKjzc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[avgas]

Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of visible spectral manifestation know as "smoke".

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: A gentleman does not motor about after dark.

Joseph Lucas The Prince of Darkness? - 1842-1903
I see. So Gremlins are in fact kindled spirits?