Advice please?

[Keystone19]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:

[crashe]

Shit Keystone.... not good to hear..

Then why did he buy you the bike in the first place..?

Talk to him..... tell him that even walking across the road can be dangerous...
That other weekend when you running, kayating and mountain biking is just as dangerous... you could have fallen off your bike and cracked your head...
are you going to give that away as well... I dont think so.

Keep riding cos that is what you love to do...
If you give it all away then you won't be a happy gal....
Does he want a sad gal moping around.... I don't think so....

I havent seen you ride danderously... you may ride fast but safe.

Just living is dangerous...

[bugjuice]

I use the old - 'you could get hit by a bus tomorrow, would you still get out of bed? life's too short to worry..' routine.. of which it is.

I had immense pressure from my family when Postie hit the deck and broke his leg. But it's something I love to do, and no amount of determination from people will stop me from doing what I love. Hate to say it, but if he loves you for who you are, then he has to respect the fact that you enjoy your two wheels. Tell him this - could he put up with you when you're feeling really moody, cos a good weekend is there, and you can't go for a few hours on the bike? You'd surely drive him mad! And he can't have that now, can he? That's what I was told, when I was thinking about selling up. No one would be able to put up with my moods!

[Keystone19]

Then why did he buy you the bike in the first place..?



I bought the bike... :devil2:

[crashe]

Wasn't it him just a short time ago... wanting to go and buy you a brand new and bigger bike when you sat your Full License?

You were even looking at a few bikes... cos of this.

[GR81]

i told the missus where the door was when she started harping on about dangerous bikes etc ;)

she hasnt said anything since :)

[Keystone19]

Wasn't it him just a short time ago... wanting to go and buy you a brand new and bigger bike when you sat your Full License?

You were even looking at a few bikes... cos of this.

Yeah, he did seem a little more positive a couple of weeks back. I know he has always worried, I guess the idea that I am actually going to get a bigger bike and keep riding might have triggered this off. I think he thought this was a passing phase...

[crashe]

Can you get him interested in riding a bike at all....
Maybe that will help... then you can both go out riding..together...

BUT don't you give up riding...

If it comes down to it... you can store your bike in my garage and come over here to get it to go for a ride.

[Zed]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:You and Gordon should work this out privately Jill, he's a good guy. Sorry to hear it! :(

[The Stranger]

Just say the word and he's gone.

No seriously, from what I know you are doing everything right. I know you have done the BRONZ course and are going the Pass Rite route for your license. You are participating here (Kiwi Biker) and at track days and can not help but learn from the excellent people and wealth of experience around you.

I did the same (no track day yet though) and use that to emphasise that I am doing the learning so as I know how to ride safely.
I piont out that I have no death wish so do try hard to learn and be safe, but I would rather live than be alive.

[MSTRS]

I think he thought this was a passing phase...
It is.....one of those ones that takes a *while* to pass. Stick to your guns. Better still, convince HimInDoors to get his own bike & join you.

[Keystone19]

You and Gordon should work this out privately Jill, he's a good guy. Sorry to hear it! :(

Yeah, we will. Just thought that there might be some good ideas on how to approach this.

[Zed]

I did the same (no track day yet though) and use that to emphasise that I am doing the learning so as I know how to ride safely.
I piont out that I have no death wish so do try hard to learn and be safe, but I would rather live than be alive.I trust also that riding behind your 250cc acquaintance has held you back somewhat? I look forward to the time you come out alone to see how learned you have become! :ride:

[Zed]

Yeah, we will. Just thought that there might be some good ideas on how to approach this.Hehe, just imagine if Mr K was a secret KBer? :corn:

[Keystone19]

I trust also that riding behind your 250cc acquaintance has held you back somewhat? I look forward to the time you come out alone to see how learned you have become! :ride:

Wait until we get his 250cc acquaintance on a sports bike. I get the feeling she may be leaving him behind...


Oi, stop hijacking my thread...

[Keystone19]

Hehe, just imagine if Mr K was a secret KBer? :corn:

Wouldn't it be nice...


Somehow if he were I doubt that this thread would exist...

[curious george]

Sad to hear Jill, hope you both find a happy solution....
My missus would love to ride a bike too, but pressure from parents and her own conscience have stopped her sofar.
Might I suggest that his complaint is not from you riding, but more to do with his fear of riding?

[inlinefour]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:

Does he ride and will he stop if he does? Why do partners think that they have some right to re-arrange their partner to suit them? My ex-wife tried it, hence the ex bit. I think that expecting the riding to stop alone is grounds for divorce/seperation (my opinion). Don't give up your riding mate, be firm with him, and show him this message as I think hes just being a selfish wanker. Mr matey, stop thinking of thinking whats good for yourself and think of Keystone19 for a change.

[Ixion]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:

There is no good way to approach this. it is a problem for many bikers. Illinformed people have managed to successfully put forward the message that bikes are dangerous, beyond the degree to which that statement is justified.

Those who are not into bikes cannot understand WHY we do it, and worry about the "danger". It is difficult, because knowing that they are worried in itself induces guilt - one does not wish to be a source of worry to those whom we love.

Best answer is if you can get him on his own bike.

Logical arguments about "could be run over by a bus" etc do not work. They do not stop the worrier worrying - maybe even introduce extra worry about buses.

If he will not ride all you can do is put it bluntly, that this is part of what and who you are, and he needs to give you space for it. And hit the "responsible" bit - what's irresponsible about a bike ?

Maybe try to get him along to a KB gathering and introduce him to "X , who's been riding for 20 years without an accident . and here's Y, 30 years uninjured, and z etc etc " - very few non bikers actually realise how many years bikers can go without being injured at all, they have this "hospital every few months" notion.

But I have to say that I've not found a solution, myself.

Good luck.

[The Stranger]

Wait until we get his 250cc acquaintance on a sports bike. I get the feeling she may be leaving him behind...


Oi, stop hijacking my thread...
We swapped bikes the other day and I had a hell of a job getting mine back.

Picture 50ish kg on an 1100 being chased by 100ish kg (the actual figure is a closely guarded secret) on a 250.

I think I have talked her out of a Hayabusa for her next bike due to the weight, but now she is determined to get a CBR1000.

[Rashika]

I can so relate to this... :(

After having my last bike for 10 years I finally sold it, partly (in fact probably mostly) due to pressure about having it from my ex hubby...not specifically said outloud, just insinuations/innuendo about why keep it when we cant do stuff together on it, costing money, dangerous etc ...yadda yadda yadda
Okay so I wasn't riding as much as i could have been and that was a lot due to where I was living at the time. Didnt stop me wanting to tho.
Did irk me a bit...
But if you are loving it, then DONT stop riding!
Give him some reassurance: yes it can be dangerous, so can driving to work...walking down the street ....eating something for f**ks sake...damn near anything will kill us these days or so they say
....but dont let someone pressure you into not doing what you want to do and if it is riding then just do it :ride:

says she who has finally got a bike again YIPEEEEEEEEE

[curious george]

Maybe try to get him along to a KB gathering and introduce him to "X , who's been riding for 20 years without an accident . and here's Y, 30 years uninjured, and z etc etc "
Ermm.... might be a small gathering then.
Maybe print this out, and show him?
Biking is just something we do, like birds do fly :spudguita

[SARGE]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:


hey Jill...
i went through much the same thing with mrs. Sarge.. i explained that my bike makes me feel alive, makes me happy and to top it off, saves fuel and parking. if he really loves you and wants you to be happy, he should indulge you in your riding. (yes.. use the guilt..)

maybe even instead of trading, you could pass the VTR onto him and step up to your next bike.. get him into it and go riding together

Mrs Sarge is getting her license this month

[vifferman]

It's not one of those situations where there's an easy, 'potted' answer, as it depends on the individuals and circumstances. The vifferbabe was not that happy about me biking (as I'm sure is common for many wives), but that was more due to it being inherently selfish than unsafe. It took a long while, and a conscious decision from her to accept it was my passion and wasn't going to go away, and to share it instead of resenting it, before things came right.

If it's a resentment thing or a safety thing, I'm sure there are things your man does that are selfish and/or potentially hazardous, and you need to try to get him to see this.
Unless you're both bikers, it IS inherently selfish, and he may feel left out, as you're part of a world for which he's just an outsider. If he doesn't ride, he can't understand the joy and bliss of perfectly-linked turns, the exhiliration of speed, the smell of honeysuckle in the hedgerows, the refreshing pools of cool air in shaded cuttings in the summertime..

I understand the safety thing, as I feel like I'm exposing my girl to a vulnerable and dangerous sport by sharing biking with her, and for that reason I'd rather she was on the back of the VFR than on her own bike. That's probably irrational, as one heavily-loaded bike is probably more risky than two separate bikes, and I'm not necessarily less likely to crash than she would be (even though she doesn't have a license yet). But when I'm by myself, I don't worry much about the risks, but I would hate for her to get hurt.

The main thing is you need to TALK. Find out exactly why he feels like he does, explain how you feel, and agree to some compromises that you are both happy with.

[ManDownUnder]

Hey Keystone...

I'd simply put the cards on the table...

I'm assuming a lot here - but it's the kind of stuff I would raise if I were you.

It sounds like he cares for you a lot, and doesn't want to lose you. He sees Motorcycling as a high risk activity... Don't you see it that way too? I know I do, and I moderate my riding accordingly.

For me... I enjoy riding, it's just a part of me that I would really miss over time, and even though I love my wife, there would be a resentment of sorts that builds. I wouldn't want that to happen either.

What can you do to allay his fears? Spell them all out - even the ones you don't like. You need to talk through all the issues.
Give up riding?
A defensive riding course?
Ride less?
Ride weekends only?
Take him with you?
Put an "In Case of Emergency" notice/sticker somewhere (like on the top of your lid)

Talk it through - and feel free to have a couple of goes. I would be very surprised if you could cover off all the issues in one go anyway. Leave the door open for him, and you, to re-open discussions and see where you get to in w week/month/whatever.

Don't stress - but raise it an an important issue that you want to help with, but you want him to help with too...

Good luck!
MDU

[enigma51]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:

I usualy respond with the dont let the door hit you on the way out!

[ManDownUnder]

I usualy respond with the dont let the door hit you on the way out!

Nothing personal chap - I put my marriage WAAAAAYYYYY ahead of any motorcycle...

[claire]

hey Keystone

We're lucky in our house - we both ride bikes. If I wasn't into bikes I can guarantee that He would still have one. He would be impossible to live with if He didn't have a bike and knowing that I think it would be unfair if I then undertook to rearrange his hobbies to suit me. I know that I wouldn't be too happy if he expected me to give up something just because he wasn't into it. Good luck finding a resolution to this one and I hope you're able to keep riding as a hobby. I also cycle and He is more worried about me pedalling around the roads than on my motorbike so maybe your partner has a hobby that has just as many risks as riding a motorbike?

Claire

[eliot-ness]

I think hes just being a selfish wanker.

Selfish??? for being concerned about his partners safety.??? I think not. Biking, and any other sport considered dangerous, are the realms of the more selfish among us. How many of us give second thought to our wives and families when we get aboard the bike for a sunday run. How many climbers wonder how it would affect their loved ones if they fell to their death. A single handed sailor caught out in a storm may feel reasonably safe but what about his wife and kids waiting for news. I may have been riding longer than most but I still have to put up with comments about the risks involved, not from the wife, but from my own kids and now grandkids. When people stop worrying about their loved ones the world will be a poorer place.
As to allaying his fears, not difficult. Stay safe. Don't come home from a ride and regale him with stories of the guy who binned, the idiot in a car who nearly ran you off the road or the speeds your mates achieved on some country road. If you have biker mates call round at your place keep the conversation positive. No mention of crashes, speeding tickets, wheelies etc.
Maybe I got lucky when I met my wife, or more ikely because I included her in my riding, but I've never had this problem. If she worries she doesn't show it. and after many years of riding I can point to my record and say with authority that motorcycles are potentially the safest vehicle on the road. The only danger is attitude of the guy on board. I wish you luck and many more years of riding.
PS. Don't try to talk him into riding. It's obviously not his thing and even a minor accident would convince him he was right.

[SixPackBack]

What many of our partners fail to realise is that the dangers of motorcycling are nothing compared to the danger of living on our knees cacooned.......
I personally got around the 'danger' aspect by having a generous insurance policy, it will not bring me back, but at least she will have nothing else to worry about IF i should die on my bike.

[HDTboy]

Tis simple, If you're not allowed to ride, then He's not allowed to ride. See how long it takes to change his tune
A better option would be getting him on 2 wheels, you bringing him to the pub?

[mstriumph]

Another ‘voice of experience’ here, for what it’s worth.

Biking is a selfish thing, yes .... so are a lot of other sports [ever hear the term ‘golf-widow’?, fishing-widow?]; and yes, if you value your partnership you will make every effort to involve your partner and bring them in with you.. ... but if they flatly refuse and, knowing the addiction is part of your soul, still try to make YOU conform to what THEY think you should be ...... you should perhaps consider where that could lead.

I believe good partnerships are based on mutual acceptance each of the other as they are - good and bad, ... and it becomes a different sort of relationship when one person feels they have the right and might to change the other to conform to what THEY consider to be appropriate or acceptable.

What you can negotiate/what you are prepared to accept between you has to be your choice and one nobody on this forum is even remotely qualified to make for you .................... it can’t be easy and, as you can see here, we all feel for you.....but it's up to you; good luck..

[enigma51]

Nothing personal chap - I put my marriage WAAAAAYYYYY ahead of any motorcycle...

Im lucky though the wife loves bikes! So im just talking big mate

[tracyprier]

Well I have to say... some very wise folk in this little community of ours (no...really) :)

Tracy

[jrandom]

I sold my bike several months ago because my wife was unhappy with it. I was riding for three years, and her worries and general unease just got worse over that time. It was hurting our relationship.

So I sold the bike.

Joni has it now.

I'm getting my fix (and getting fit, which doesn't hurt) on pushies these days. Without that, I'd go mental, but it's enough to keep me 'appy. Maybe in another couple of decades, when the kids are gone, I'll be a BAB. In the meantime, it's surprising how much fun riding in the drops on a Trek at 40kph on a quiet country highway can be.

You know, it's still risky on a 'sickle. You can still stuff up. Nobody's perfect. Some are happy with that, some aren't.

Realistically speaking, if Mr K is unhappy with the risk inherent in motorcycling, and he won't try getting one of his own, you're kidding yourself if you think he'll just magically 'come around'.

Don't damage your marriage for the sake of a motorcycle. 'taint worth it.

[vifferman]

Don't damage your marriage for the sake of a motorcycle. 'taint worth it.
Well now - that depends. If the "You can't have a motorcycle" is symptomatic of something else that's wrong, or is just a way of exerting leverage, or it's just plain old jealousy, then maybe there's some cancer underneath that needs dealing to. And if it's really bad, maybe the marriage is inherently ferked, because one party is unwilling to compromise and accept the other party has some individual rights.

Sometimes focussing on the noises you hear rather than digging deeper means even if you give in, the problem doesn't go away.
F'rinstance: the vifferbabe was grumbling about how expensive the bike was. Every time she grumbled, I got pissed off and argued about it, then in the end said I'd sell the thing if it was such a big deal, as our marriage was more important. It turned out that the money wasn't the issue - it was a matter of principle. She merely wanted me to acknowledge that the bike was an expensive toy, not get rid of it.
Maybe Mr K just wants tacit recognition of the danger, expense, or inherent selfishness of biking. :spudwhat:

I don't care any more. I really like my bike, and I enjoy biking, but the hassles of maintenance, keeping my gear up to date and effective, annual tyre changes, etc etc are such that if I get any grumbles, I just say, "Well, I'll sell the bloody thing then!", and because it's our bike, the idea of selling it gets vetoed.

[CPB]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:

Bugger, this is never easy...
I'm just fortunate that the gorgeous girl in my life has been riding longer than I have, although previous partners have had some pretty serious issues (and are no longer in the scene)...
As has been said, yep biking has its hazards, but so does driving on the motorway, or crossing the street...it's just a matter of taking appropriate steps to eliminate excessive risk, and assuring those non-riders in your life that you have a legitimate love of riding and are not in a hurry to leave this earthly place...it would be a fantastic opportunity for common ground if he was keen to take up two wheels as well??

[yungatart]

Any chance of getting him as a pillion on the back of a bike so he can see how it really is. Its nice that he is concerned and caring about you but sad that his fear is getting in the way. You could mention the petrol savings....

[jrandom]

Well now - that depends. If the "You can't have a motorcycle" is symptomatic of something else that's wrong...

Yeah. Maybe Keystone19 married the wrong guy.


... just a way of exerting leverage, or it's just plain old jealousy...

Possibly, but this isn't a woman we're talking about, remember. Which probably means that he's just saying what he thinks. It's the rare man who would try and manipulate his way toward some nefarious goal by these means. If he's grumbling about the risks, it probably just means that he's worried about the risks.


maybe the marriage is inherently ferked, because one party is unwilling to compromise and accept the other party has some individual rights.

Walking away is always an option.

Two things I've noticed, though:

1. Most people are too dumb to act in truly rational self-interest.

2. Better the devil you know than a lonely flat with Watties Heat 'n' Eat in the cupboard.

Make of that what you will.

[vifferman]

Possibly, but this isn't a woman we're talking about, remember. Which probably means that he's just saying what he thinks. It's the rare man who would try and manipulate his way toward some nefarious goal by these means. If he's grumbling about the risks, it probably just means that he's worried about the risks.

Yeah.
Good point, one which I'd overlooked. (I don't think things through, remember).

[SPman]

Im lucky!
Mrs eX didnt ride but was a happy pillion (most of the time)
Whenever I went riding - she barely noticed!
I went 12 years without a bike because of kids and no money. When it all turned to shit I bought a bike and I would NEVER form another relationship based on "I dont like it, you or me".........ever!
A biker is a person of a certain mindset, which can seldom be understood by those who don't/won't ride. Partners have a natural concern for each other (I hope). If you really enjoy riding and it means a lot to you - work out the compromises. If that cant be done, then you have some serious issues to contemplate. Good luck!

[Hitcher]

Yeah, he did seem a little more positive a couple of weeks back. I know he has always worried, I guess the idea that I am actually going to get a bigger bike and keep riding might have triggered this off. I think he thought this was a passing phase...
Get him on a learn to ride course. Quickly...

[enigma51]

Keystone I do see it from his part as well. When the wife wanted the scooter I was not sure that I wanted her to be riding with so many stupid drivers out there but I also know that you cant wrap your partner etc in cotton all the time.

I dont want to see my wife get hurt at all and I bet you he is feeling the same. He has just to understand that he cant protect you all the time and yes the bike is not safe but its something you like doing and he should rather make sure that you have the correct gear etc etc like I did for my wife. She hates the fact that I force her to wear protective gear that makes her look like the michellin man on her 50cc but im sorry if she wants to ride a motorbike (Even a scooter) she has to be fully protected. And the same goes for me!

[muzz]

Have to say something here. I gave up riding for a partner it also ment i lost contact with alot of people (ride buddys). I missed the riding and the friendships. Theres more to riding than just a bike. Hence I'm riding again and have meet new friends and caught up with some of the old and my new partner (coming up 8 years) understands this. She has now got her own bike and enjoys the fun we have together riding.
It comes down to doing what you enjoy (in moderation of course) and encouraging your partner to do the same and supporting each others dreams and asperations.
Good luck.

[dawnrazor]

when i first moved in with my girlfriend, she wondered if it would make more sense if i sold the bike and bought a car, to which i reminded her that if i did that she would have nowhere to dry her underwear! (We lived in innercity Dublin and had to keep the bike in the living room beside the radiator) and she reckoned that was a good enough reason to keep it, also the cat liked to sleep on the seat while the engine cooled. Maybe an approach like this might work for you :ride:

[curious george]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike.
If this thread is still being viewed by you Keystone, what did this mean?
Was it a term of reference, or an ultimatum?

[White trash]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:

Become a lesbian mate. Perhaps if I offered to take him for a hoon on the back of the Gixxer, that might change his mind?

[SPman]

Perhaps if I offered to take him for a hoon on the back of the Gixxer, that might change his mind?
The mind wobbles.... :eek: :eek:

[RantyDave]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

Hey,

I just started biking (like, I did my first fill up from empty about an hour ago) and had a similar set of concerns going into this. I have a three year old daughter too, so face planting an R1 into a Volvo is just not an option for me. My partner has been very understanding that this is something I want to do, that I've always wanted to do, and that I'm going to keep doing it while I'm enjoying it but the safety thing has come up more than once.

The conversation goes like this:

Me: "It's very dangerous. I have to concentrate much harder than driving. All these retards in Land Cruisers keep trying to kill me. There's no side intrusion bars or airbags. Frankly, I'm scared shitless."

Her: "Good. I'm glad you're taking it seriously."

Between that, buying *everything* to do with being safe - none of this jeans and trainers shit for me - and getting actual proper training, she's cool about it.

So I guess all I'm suggesting is that you make it clear to Mr K that you know what you're doing is dangerous, and that you're doing what you can to prevent it from being a problem. But he does need to know that this is part of who you are, and that if he doesn't like who you are then motorbikes are the least of your problems.

Good luck,
Dave

[BTW, De-lurking!]

[pritch]

Hey,

I just started biking (like, I did my first fill up from empty about an hour ago) and had a similar set of concerns going into this. I have a three year old daughter too, so face planting an R1 into a Volvo is just not an option for me.


Good one. Take it easy, ride safely. Learn in small increments :-)

[Big Dave]

Not being able to get my head around your problem myself, (Co-pilot is as ardent as I) I went and outlined the problem and sought her Post-Graduate-Certificate-in-Change-Management-qualified advice.

'Tell him to get over it.'

[Riff Raff]

Perhaps if I offered to take him for a hoon on the back of the Gixxer, that might change his mind?
About motorbikes, or sexual preferences???

[Keystone19]

Become a lesbian mate. Perhaps if I offered to take him for a hoon on the back of the Gixxer, that might change his mind?

I don't think either option is good. I like boys too much and as for the second one, umm, perhaps you could just take me?

[Keystone19]

If this thread is still being viewed by you Keystone, what did this mean?
Was it a term of reference, or an ultimatum?

Bit of both I suspect!

[Keystone19]

Hey thanks everybody for your ideas. I'm sure some kind of compromise will be reached eventually!

[Sniper]

Heres my advice. Dont drink furniture polish

[inlinefour]

Selfish??? for being concerned about his partners safety.??? I think not. Biking, and any other sport considered dangerous, are the realms of the more selfish among us. How many of us give second thought to our wives and families when we get aboard the bike for a sunday run. How many climbers wonder how it would affect their loved ones if they fell to their death. A single handed sailor caught out in a storm may feel reasonably safe but what about his wife and kids waiting for news. I may have been riding longer than most but I still have to put up with comments about the risks involved, not from the wife, but from my own kids and now grandkids. When people stop worrying about their loved ones the world will be a poorer place.
As to allaying his fears, not difficult. Stay safe. Don't come home from a ride and regale him with stories of the guy who binned, the idiot in a car who nearly ran you off the road or the speeds your mates achieved on some country road. If you have biker mates call round at your place keep the conversation positive. No mention of crashes, speeding tickets, wheelies etc.
Maybe I got lucky when I met my wife, or more ikely because I included her in my riding, but I've never had this problem. If she worries she doesn't show it. and after many years of riding I can point to my record and say with authority that motorcycles are potentially the safest vehicle on the road. The only danger is attitude of the guy on board. I wish you luck and many more years of riding.
PS. Don't try to talk him into riding. It's obviously not his thing and even a minor accident would convince him he was right.

What should we do with our significant others??? Wrap them up in cotton wool for the rest of their lives or actually allow them to do the things that make them enjoy life??? I think there is nothing wrong with doing dangerous activities for fun. What sort of life would we have if we stuck with the mundane? I'd go from a staff nurse in a psych ward to a patient, I'd bet...
Just because your with a bloke/lady does not mean that you have to conform to what they say or do. We are all individuals and have our own likes and dislikes. Yea he might be wanting to "protect" her, but telling her to stop riding is selfish. Heck could get run over by a bus just walking down the street. I'd stick to what Big dave said earlier and tell him ti get over it. :devil2:

[Rashika]

Hey thanks everybody for your ideas. I'm sure some kind of compromise will be reached eventually!

hope you can figure a way round it
...but dont compromise yourself out of what YOU want to do, life is way too short to have regrets or resentments against ya loved one :)

[Pixie]

As Mick said "you can't always get what you want"

[ManDownUnder]

I don't think either option is good. I like boys too much and as for the second one, umm, perhaps you could just take me?

hoo boy... wait till BJ get's hold of THAT one

[White trash]

I don't think either option is good. I like boys too much and as for the second one, umm, perhaps you could just take me?

Don't know how Mr K will feel about that, if he reckons riding by yourself is dangerous, he'll shit bricks when he sees my track record.

Riff Raff seemed to enjoy her skid around Taupo on the SV though.

[Lou Girardin]

If my wif said she wanted a bike I wouldn't like it, but I wouldn't stop her. (as if I could)
It'd have to be a Superduke though.

[crazy_lady]

I am very lucky as the love of my life is as crazy about motorbikes as I am!! We both ride our own bikes and are happy as can be. Last year my heart sunk when I got the call he had been in a motorbike accident and as soon as I could I was by his side checking he was ok. Even after the shock of the thought of how easy it could have been to loose him that day I would never stop or even try to stop him riding again. I love him unconditionally with all of his likes and dislikes, that’s what makes him the person he is! He loves riding, how could I possibly think I have the right to take that away from him. We will always worry about our partners on the road, with the crazy's out there. But we can't spend the rest of our lives wondering what if, or we would all be very boring, non riding, sad people. Hope all goes well for you.

[bugjuice]

hoo boy... wait till BJ get's hold of THAT one
i kinda switched off this one.. besides, I can't perv everything I touch.. I'm trying to have a good side

[crashe]

I'm trying to have a good side

What your front or backside???????????
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[bugjuice]

What your front or backside???????????
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
don't tempt me woman..

[Postie]

What your front or backside???????????
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
you tell us Crashe, or did you not get enough time riding BJ the other night to tell???

[crashe]

you tell us Crashe, or did you not get enough time riding BJ the other night to tell???

Nah he only lasted one second.... :rofl: :rofl:

[Postie]

Nah he only lasted one second.... :rofl: :rofl:


whoa, from what i hear, thats a new record......

WELLL DONE BUGGY :hbd: :hbd: :hbd: :hbd: :hbd: :hbd: :hbd: :hbd:

[bugjuice]

see, I only mention two posts, neither perv related, and look what happens..
I'm a walking perv-zone

[thehollowmen]

see, I only mention two posts, neither perv related, and look what happens..
I'm a walking perv-zone
damn right.. and that's why I'm stalking you

[ManDownUnder]

see, I only mention two posts, neither perv related, and look what happens..
I'm a walking perv-zone

Ha - least they don't call me that...

...to my face...

...very often...

[Wolf]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

If you love riding, all I can suggest is that you, with respect and politeness, inform Mr K that it is part of who you are and that you are "being responsible". Emphasise that you understand his concerns and that each day you take the responsibility of being as careful as is humanly possible and that you are taking every step you can to ensure you learn the safest way to ride.

I have two children and one more on the way. I would never want to deprive them of a father figure whilst they were growing, so each day I ensure I do everything I can to ensure I negotiate the traffic safely and return home to them alive - and that's not just when I'm riding a motorbike, that's while driving a car or walking to work. We live in a dangerous world of our own making, and all we can do is take responsibility for our own actions and our own lives. We most of us have families and loved ones who rely on us - but that does not mean we must wrap ourselves in cotton wool - it merely means we must take care to return to them.

I would argue from my own experience that motorcycles are a lot safer than cars (having avoided a lot of accidents by being narrower than a car or having superior acceleration) and you learn to be a more observant road user on a bike (further avoiding accidents). Talk to him from your own experiences and feelings and let him see that what he asks would be the same as you telling him he's not allowed to drive/walk/take the bus because he might be killed.

Contrary to popular belief, cars are not safer than motorcycles. Whilst you have more protection around you in a car, that protection can become a trap and a motorcycle may avoid an accident that a car could not avoid. They both have inherent risks, they both have strong and wek points and they can both kill you if anything turns to custard. The only option is for you to make sure it doesn't turn to custard - and from this thread, it would seem you're doing everything you can to improve your chances.

[bugjuice]

damn right.. and that's why I'm stalking you
join the que..
and it's not 'stalking'.. it's forced love..

[ManDownUnder]

join the que..
and it's not 'stalking'.. it's forced love..

I prefer "fan club" - as opposed to the wooden kind...

[WINJA]

Dear Mr K informed me last night that he doesn't want me riding a bike. It's too dangerous, I will get killed and I should be more responsible.

Any of you people out there have trouble with partners with ideas like these?

Is there a good way to approach this?

I don't want to give up riding... :no:
A FEW YEARS AGO MY FIANCEE SAID I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER OR THE BIKE , I SAID BABY IM REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU , SHE LEFT THE RING PACKED HER BAGS AND LEFT , I SOLD THE RING AND BOUGHT 3 DELICIOUS SETS OF PILOT RACE TYRES , SHE CAME BACK AND SAID GIVE ME THE RING BACK AND THAT SHE WAS SORRY , WHEN I SHOWED HER THE RACE TYRES IT WAS ALL OVER AGIAN , KEPT THE BIKES AND GOT ME A BETTER BITCH NOW WHO SAYS BIKES ARE FINE

[ManDownUnder]

A FEW YEARS AGO MY FIANCEE SAID I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN HER OR THE BIKE , I SAID BABY IM REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU , SHE LEFT THE RING PACKED HER BAGS AND LEFT , I SOLD THE RING AND BOUGHT 3 DELICIOUS SETS OF PILOT RACE TYRES , SHE CAME BACK AND SAID GIVE ME THE RING BACK AND THAT SHE WAS SORRY , WHEN I SHOWED HER THE RACE TYRES IT WAS ALL OVER AGIAN , KEPT THE BIKES AND GOT ME A BETTER BITCH NOW WHO SAYS BIKES ARE FINE

but the real test is - will she paint your roof?

[WINJA]

but the real test is - will she paint your roof?
NAH THE OLD ONE WAS LAZY AND THE NEW ONE IS SCARED OF HEIGHTS.
BUT IT DONT MATTER CAUSE PLACID FEMME AND HER BOY/GIRLFRIEND ARE PAINTING IT THIS SUMMER