View Full Version : What should I do with my last 4 weeks?
rastuscat
2nd May 2015, 18:52
ive got a whole lot of corporate bollocks to sort, by if I'm going to define my career by my last 4 weeks, what should they look like?
I'm already thinking of what my last infringement notice will be.
Have at you Citizens.
HenryDorsetCase
2nd May 2015, 18:57
ive got a whole lot of corporate bollocks to sort, by if I'm going to define my career by my last 4 weeks, what should they look like?
I'm already thinking of what my last infringement notice will be.
Have at you Citizens.
You're a public servant, no?
So you know: naps. Office hammocks. Get all the stationery you might think you will ever need for the rest of your life. That comely office girl whose arse you've admired?: Go full Roger Sutton on that shit. What are they gonna do, fire you? Get some Glocks and take them down the firing range (or you know, the cells, whatever) and bust a cap in some mofo's ass. Practice the polce brutality, eat some donuts. And kebabs. Use the public servants discount at any shop that still offers it (does anyone?)
Fuck why am I telling you this shit? You've been doing it for 40 years..... keep on it.
The best piece of advice I was ever given when working for the public service was: "Its a cow, son, it NEEDS to be milked."
Kickaha
2nd May 2015, 19:07
I'm already thinking of what my last infringement notice will be.
Give one to someone for "acting like an arsehole"
nodrog
2nd May 2015, 19:12
Arrest some black cunt and take him for the hell ride in the back of a wagon.
Its all the rage at the moment.
Scuba_Steve
2nd May 2015, 19:32
Just replicate this cop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yioJQFrqMXM
Hire a half dozen decent looking hookers to stand at your favourite set of red lights. Position yourself on other side and proceed to ticket merrily those who run the red.
Rub salt in the wound with a suggestive comment about what the fine money could have been better spent on...
Drive around with lights and siren on all day long like responding to an emergency and note rego numbers of all inobservamnt motorists who fail to yield, send tickets in mail.
Write driving like a F'wit on at least one infringement notice to suitable candidate, see if they notice...
Post flyers around town for a free seminar on How to not have to pay a ticket for not wearing your seatbelt, inferring that there's a secret way out of the ticket. Once the town hall is packed and you have delayed the start for as long as possible, drum roll and tell em to wear their seatbelts!
Kickaha
2nd May 2015, 19:45
Just replicate this cop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yioJQFrqMXM
He doesn't need to, that's one of his videos
All the suggestions you could need are here. ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5dy9URkLFI
Berries
2nd May 2015, 21:21
Start a new thread every day................
rastuscat
2nd May 2015, 22:14
Start a new thread every day................
It's like throwing a match at a BMW
tigertim20
2nd May 2015, 22:18
the answer is simple, indulge every urge you have suppressed on the job for fear of professional consequences.
smash a kiddy fiddler over with a baton and mace the cunt
tell someone you pull over EXACTLY what you think of them
tell some loudmouth who's arguing with you that you're leaving in four weeks, and you're giving him a ticket JUST because he's an asshole
drive a squad car past every stationary speed camera in your region at speed.
jaykay
2nd May 2015, 22:20
What happens if you write an infringement notice and the offender requests a hearing? - are they going to dig you out of retirement to write a brief of evidence?
(and would you get paid for it!)
pritch
3rd May 2015, 09:11
When I was a kid this used to be played on the radio virtually every Sunday morning.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI1nPd7hezM
You could take a leaf out of his book. After all you've got something to be happy about
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/venus.png
ruaphu
3rd May 2015, 09:39
Could ya coach them bad mouthed, poor attitude, been here five minutes, know all wet behind the ears newbies a few ole school tricks please RS.
Why? Cos some of those self righteous little twats really don't get the fact they actually NEED us mere peasants more than we need them.
If ya get through to one, its worth the effort.
Cheers
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Gadget1
3rd May 2015, 10:32
ive got a whole lot of corporate bollocks to sort, by if I'm going to define my career by my last 4 weeks, what should they look like?
I'm already thinking of what my last infringement notice will be.
Have at you Citizens.
The requirement for giving information to the police is just name, address, date of birth......so can't help ya there rastuscat.
However, if you require a consultation on this issue I will PM you a contract. I charge $500 plus GST per hour by the way...
Choose an intersection you like, turn the traffic lights off... and do point-duty! :banana:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_ZMyIWMRGU
rastuscat
3rd May 2015, 15:51
Choose an intersection you like, turn the traffic lights off... and do point-duty! :banana:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_ZMyIWMRGU
Not in that particular fashion, but point duty is one of the things that old traffic cops are good at. There's bugger all training these days, so that's why the art has been lost.
It's a cool thing, taking a total cockup intersection and getting it flowing again.
I cut my teeth on Queen and Victoria in Auckland, and Blenheim and Curletts is my current favourite. Cops seem to fear it, but if it's done properly, point duty is cool.
Just saying.
Gadget1
3rd May 2015, 16:03
Not in that particular fashion, but point duty is one of the things that old traffic cops are good at. There's bugger all training these days, so that's why the art has been lost.
It's a cool thing, taking a total cockup intersection and getting it flowing again.
I cut my teeth on Queen and Victoria in Auckland, and Blenheim and Curletts is my current favourite. Cops seem to fear it, but if it's done properly, point duty is cool.
Just saying.
This cop's training doesn't look like standard procedure:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rin3jUMWnV0
roogazza
3rd May 2015, 16:34
[QUOTE=rastuscat;1130859152]
I'm already thinking of what my last infringement notice will be.
Don't write any ! that way there won't be any Not guilties to come back for.
or, like cops of old, bring discretion back.<_<
mossy1200
3rd May 2015, 16:54
You should do 10,000 kms before you loose the free bike.
Catch one of the port hill GP drivers doing a burnout, and join them.
Ticket another cop for u-turning like a jackass, or just the biggest asshole you know on the force for being an asshole.
Wheelie everywhere.
Cut through the BK drive through line with your sirens blaring, then turn them off and place an order.
rastuscat
3rd May 2015, 17:01
Cut through the BK drive through line with your sirens blaring, then turn them off and place an order.
Now that's one I hadn't thought of.
Scuba_Steve
3rd May 2015, 17:52
It's a cool thing, taking a total cockup intersection and getting it flowing again.
You boys must do it different down south, the ones up norf take a flowing intersection & turn it into a total cockup
george formby
3rd May 2015, 18:06
You boys must do it different down south, the ones up norf take a flowing intersection & turn it into a total cockup
LOL. I recently noticed a tactic causing a similar effect on passing lanes. Vans or marked cars having a wee picnic beside them. It's like watching snooker with vehicles. Must be great fun, I counted at least 5 heading to Auks recently.:brick:
Rastus, go do a track day on the company vehicle and post up the vid after you've moved on. Please.
rastuscat
3rd May 2015, 19:44
Rastus, go do a track day on the company vehicle and post up the vid after you've moved on. Please.
I'll pull a wheelie coming out of the hairpin at Ruapuna. Getting it on video might be up to Google.
Kickaha
3rd May 2015, 19:49
I'll pull a wheelie coming out of the hairpin at Ruapuna. Getting it on video might be up to Google.
You should have come out last Friday
Just fuck off on the bike tomorrow and Tour the South Island for a couple of weeks
Smifffy
3rd May 2015, 19:50
You could help get Phil Goff's bike back. Not only will you get a retirement presentation, the next labour govt might give you a medal.
rastuscat
3rd May 2015, 19:52
You could help get Phil Goff's bike back. Not only will you get a retirement presentation, the next labour govt might give you a medal.
Phil's bike got pinched? He's far more likable now that he's off the front bench, and I wouldn't wish having a bike pinched on anyone.
husaberg
3rd May 2015, 22:10
ive got a whole lot of corporate bollocks to sort, by if I'm going to define my career by my last 4 weeks, what should they look like?
I'm already thinking of what my last infringement notice will be.
Have at you Citizens.
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Yes, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the Woman , slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Woman, could you step out of your vehicle please!
Woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
Woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
Woman digs into her handbag and pulls of his purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you Woman, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Katman wanders over says to the officer and the woman Betcha the lying bastard said you was speeding as well.
pritch
3rd May 2015, 22:37
Not in that particular fashion, but point duty is one of the things that old traffic cops are good at. There's bugger all training these days, so that's why the art has been lost.
Over the years I worked in Wellington I saw a lot of cops on points duty on Aotea Quay by the railway station. Just occasionally you'd see one who had developed a distinctive style. Those guys usually appeared to be enjoying themselves.
ellipsis
3rd May 2015, 22:40
...you could make the Akaroa GP track your farewell stretch for a month...if you parked your bike up behind my hedge where it was safe, I could teach you the basic skills required to be a hammer hand...it would be a short but concise tutorial and when it's finished, I will have a new roof and verandah and you will be set to start on the 'rebuild'...just in case you got fucked off riding motorbikes...
Last ticket? Find someone riding a fucking ugly bike and give them a ticket for 'Riding a fucking ugly bike'. (As long as it's not a red GSR600)
You could always give people the option of paying an instant fine in donuts.
Do you do requests? I gave you time and place, would you do pull my boss over and say you've been advised he's carrying drugs internally and a roadside cavity search will take place.
Enjoy your last four weeks RC. Sounds like you're in the right frame of mind to do just that.
jasonu
4th May 2015, 05:04
Stalk out Nick Smith and write that cunt a ticket with as many trumped up infringements as you can fit.
caseye
4th May 2015, 19:27
Stalk out Nick Smith and write that cunt a ticket with as many trumped up infringements as you can fit.
Rastus! This, do this, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
He's a C..t! an deserves it. Your'e a GC and could do with a laugh.
It'd be bewdiful to be roadside as it unfolded.
rastuscat
4th May 2015, 20:02
Stalk out Nick Smith and write that cunt a ticket with as many trumped up infringements as you can fit.
He lives in Nelson.
I wouldn't get there and back in a shift, after spending three hours writing tickets for him.
Sorry lads.
Gadget1
4th May 2015, 20:07
He lives in Nelson.
I wouldn't get there and back in a shift, after spending three hours writing tickets for him.
Sorry lads.
Got his address then?
He lives in Nelson.
I wouldn't get there and back in a shift, after spending three hours writing tickets for him.
Sorry lads.
Fairly sure we can stalk him and find out when he is next down your way :innocent:
scumdog
4th May 2015, 20:16
He lives in Nelson.
I wouldn't get there and back in a shift, after spending three hours writing tickets for him.
Sorry lads.
Well just say/do about 200 things that are Code of Conduct issues!:msn-wink:
husaberg
4th May 2015, 20:25
I guess this is Normal Milf Procedure anyway.
Might be a bit dodgy on the bike though.
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