Perfect Day

[v.ros`]

I am sure i have beaten Postie on this one :p


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


THE PERFECT SCHEDULE FOR HER
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants open
presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds
1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full
length mirror
7:30 Candle lit dinner fo r two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/dancers
10:00 Hot shower (alone)
10:50 Carried to bed . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms



THE PERFECT SCHEDULE FOR HIM
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked,
buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine - 2 under
11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine - 4 under
2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who
also bend over a lot displaying growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending
over,naturally).
6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated!
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet
steak followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending
over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

[Sniper]

Brilliant, that would be the best day

[Motoracer]

That just ain't right. Where is the riding in there?? You gotta go for a good bike ride for it to be a perfect day..

[hXc]

Awesome. Absolutely brilliant

[BNZ]

That just ain't right. Where is the riding in there?? You gotta go for a good bike ride for it to be a perfect day..

I would say the 7:45 am beers might have had something to do with the lack of riding....

[bugjuice]

sounds fukin awesome.. where do I sign?

[strayjuliet]

Yer I guess that would be good, but alas back to earth. Hello who in their right mind could handle that all day everyday??? I dont think I could even though it sounds nice. C'mon guys back down to earth now you've had ya fun day dreams. Now it's time to WAKE UP!

[Wolf]

Yer I guess that would be good, but alas back to earth. Hello who in their right mind could handle that all day everyday??? I dont think I could even though it sounds nice. C'mon guys back down to earth now you've had ya fun day dreams. Now it's time to WAKE UP!
Oh come on! I manage the men's 11:50pm and 11:51pm every night...

[strayjuliet]

Oh come on! I manage the men's 11:50pm and 11:51pm every night...

And you wonder why I won't sleep in the same bed with you anymore?

[Wolf]

And you wonder why I won't sleep in the same bed with you anymore?
Chicks just don't appreciate the finer things in life. :weird:

[strayjuliet]

Chicks just don't appreciate the finer things in life. :weird:

If it's the finer things in life then why prey tell do you come and complain that the room smells bad after you have farted? C'mon you do know a dog smells his own stink first. :bash:

[HDTboy]

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants
Why would one weigh themselves then get back into bed?

[Big Dave]

Chicks just don't appreciate the finer things in life. :weird:


If that is a list of the finer things in a man's life then i don't either.
Golf? fishing? On the piss before lunch? alone in bed?
None of that would make my top 100, let alone top day.

[Wolf]

If that is a list of the finer things in a man's life then i don't either.
Golf? fishing? On the piss before lunch? alone in bed?
None of that would make my top 100, let alone top day.
Most of the events listed wouldn't make my top 100 either - to the ones you mentioned, I add cigars, bourbon, brandy, limo rides, football, champagne and shaves as not remotely my scene - but the record-length multi-tonal fart and laughing myself to sleep are "right up there". :lol: :lol:

[scumdog]

If that is a list of the finer things in a man's life then i don't either.
Golf? fishing? On the piss before lunch? alone in bed?
None of that would make my top 100, let alone top day.

Aw c'mon, fishing has to be in top 100 eh?

[Storm]

but the record-length multi-tonal fart and laughing myself to sleep are "right up there". :lol: :lol:

Well done. Priorities eh? :D

[Indiana_Jones]

"6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave"

ah, the three S's :D

-Indy

[parsley]

THE PERFECT SCHEDULE FOR HER
8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday

THE PERFECT SCHEDULE FOR HIM
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
See? Men and women want the same thing - we just have different ways of expressing it. A massive shit would probably lose you a couple of pounds. :2thumbsup

[scumdog]

To get into bed in one piece at the end of a long day? THAT'S my idea of a perfect day!!! :2thumbsup

The biking/hunting/hot-rodding etc is just the icing on the cake. ('course a bonk don't do any harm neither :yeah: :msn-wink: )

[sels1]

See? Men and women want the same thing - we just have different ways of expressing it. A massive shit would probably lose you a couple of pounds. :2thumbsup

excellent observation. Not that I have ever weighed myself before and after....damn, I might have to now just to see what the difference is :lol:

[Big Dave]

Aw c'mon, fishing has to be in top 100 eh?


Maybe in NZ.
But growing up in Sydney it meant a day on a smelly bay for one or two flathead. Yech - I used to go riding.

Pleasure boating with topless girlfriends was more my scene. And even then i got bored with the boat - gimme a fast motorcycle, a twisty road and a fetching lass for a pillion - that's my perfect day.

[scumdog]

Maybe in NZ.
But growing up in Sydney it meant a day on a smelly bay for one or two flathead. Yech - I used to go riding.

Pleasure boating with topless girlfriends was more my scene. And even then i got bored with the boat - gimme a fast motorcycle, a twisty road and a fetching lass for a pillion - that's my perfect day.

No argument here but you haven't lived until you've caught a bunch of big Stewart Island cod, filleted them, rolled them in egg-white'n'breadcrumbs and cooked them over a hot-plate then squeezed some lemon over them, mm-mm!!

[Wolf]

No argument here but you haven't lived until you've caught a bunch of big Stewart Island cod, filleted them, rolled them in egg-white'n'breadcrumbs and cooked them over a hot-plate then squeezed some lemon over them, mm-mm!!
and then spotted the sewerage outlet disgorging waste into the ocean.

Kinda like following that mountain stream on a hot summer's day, slaking your thirst with ice-cold water from the stream, then rounding the bend in the river to find the deer/goat/possum corpse in the middle of the stream...

[scumdog]

and then spotted the sewerage outlet disgorging waste into the ocean. ..


Nah, not a dwelling within 10 miles of where I'm talking about!! And then it's only a few cribs (batches for those from the north).

The drinking and finding a dead animal? hmm, never had that happen yet (maybe I just didn't spot the dead animal?).

[Sniper]

I never worried about the dead animal. Same as Giardia, they both don't worry me until I catch something.

[Indiana_Jones]

I can't see the "Dancing about shirtless to 'Lust for life'" time slot for the males.........or females for that matter :doh:

-Indy

[Wolf]

The drinking and finding a dead animal? hmm, never had that happen yet (maybe I just didn't spot the dead animal?).
Hasn't happened to me - not the finding of a dead animal in the water supply (except for the decomposed grasshopper incident) but I have met one who claims they had an incident drinking from a farm stream only to find a dead and decaying sheep further upstream.