DemonWolf
20th December 2005, 10:28
•You're drunk a lot -- Aliens take advantage of boozers because they're used to forgetting huge blocks of time and some really embarrassing stuff. ETs appreciate drunks because they don't have to waste their memory- wiper ammunition, which is expensive. They pick up a lot of people stumbling out of bars.
•You are mentally ill -- No one believes a psycho when he says he was in a space ship. Extraterrestrials take advantage of that fact by lurking around insane asylums and psychiatrist offices.
•You find a lot of puncture marks in your arms and you can't remember injecting yourself -- "These are from routine alien blood tests," said the expert.
•During an X-ray, your doctor discovers you are missing an internal organ you know you were born with -- "A lot of times aliens take out spleens, a lung, a kidney, an appendix so they can examine them closely," Despite their advanced intellect, sometimes they simply forget to put them back.
•You wake up and can't remember everyday things like your name, the year, your address, your spouse's name, etc. -- "The alien scientists have sliced out a vital part of your brain,"
•You cut yourself and your blood is green -- "This is when they've accidentally sucked out too much of your blood and had to give you a blood transfusion from their own blood bank," explained the expert.
•You suddenly find yourself in a foreign country thousands of miles from where you live -- "Aliens have a very bad sense of direction and can't read maps worth a damn," "They'll circle around the globe a lot, then get disgusted and just give their human abductees the boot when it's dinnertime -- alien wives are not very understanding."
•You look in the mirror and see that your nose is suddenly smaller -- "Many extraterrestrials are interested in plastic surgery techniques and will try them out on their captives,"
•You develop an irrational fear of going to the doctor when it's never bothered you before -- "Your subconscious is telling you you've been poked, prodded, injected and probed enough,"
•You suddenly discover you are missing a limb -- "You know you started out the day with two arms and two legs, and yet, when it's time to go to bed, one is missing," . "This is an indication they have kept one of your limbs for dissection purposes."
•You are mentally ill -- No one believes a psycho when he says he was in a space ship. Extraterrestrials take advantage of that fact by lurking around insane asylums and psychiatrist offices.
•You find a lot of puncture marks in your arms and you can't remember injecting yourself -- "These are from routine alien blood tests," said the expert.
•During an X-ray, your doctor discovers you are missing an internal organ you know you were born with -- "A lot of times aliens take out spleens, a lung, a kidney, an appendix so they can examine them closely," Despite their advanced intellect, sometimes they simply forget to put them back.
•You wake up and can't remember everyday things like your name, the year, your address, your spouse's name, etc. -- "The alien scientists have sliced out a vital part of your brain,"
•You cut yourself and your blood is green -- "This is when they've accidentally sucked out too much of your blood and had to give you a blood transfusion from their own blood bank," explained the expert.
•You suddenly find yourself in a foreign country thousands of miles from where you live -- "Aliens have a very bad sense of direction and can't read maps worth a damn," "They'll circle around the globe a lot, then get disgusted and just give their human abductees the boot when it's dinnertime -- alien wives are not very understanding."
•You look in the mirror and see that your nose is suddenly smaller -- "Many extraterrestrials are interested in plastic surgery techniques and will try them out on their captives,"
•You develop an irrational fear of going to the doctor when it's never bothered you before -- "Your subconscious is telling you you've been poked, prodded, injected and probed enough,"
•You suddenly discover you are missing a limb -- "You know you started out the day with two arms and two legs, and yet, when it's time to go to bed, one is missing," . "This is an indication they have kept one of your limbs for dissection purposes."