Ten Greatest. . . Weapons -TV last night

[F5 Dave]

Well in a similar vein to the Ten Greatest Motorcycle programme that took so much flack, this one was about weapons.

OK so they started with I think a PWK39, hold on that’s a carb on my GasGas, sorry I’m not up with shooty things, maybe it was a PK something, the small gun that James Bond uses. So that has some cool factor. So then they had these American wimin firing them & some butch chick going, well size does matter & “I guess it would be ok as a backup gun”.
Lady -your country is in a lot of trouble.

So they carry on with Pikes & Boomerangs, they are all technological breakthroughs & have had huge impacts, but we are getting closer to the no. 1 spot rather quickly. A47 kalashnikov was ~ 2nd which is a pretty cool weapon for ease of use & manufacturability. Changed the world. Wondering if they were going to mention the Automobile, after all with minimal training these have killed more than any singular war.

But then, in the no. one spot they were touting WuTang & this Martial art dude teaching these nuns how to do some simple moves then finishes by breaking some fairly impressive bits of wood but their turn they get thin grainy bits that I bet they could have broken before.

The premise of the program was; a great weapon has to be effective & ideally not be too complex so anyone can use it with minimal training. They said the human mind is the greatest weapon. Well no, you have to know how to use it & without weapons Sabre tooth tigers used to think we were tasty treats.

I’m pretty sure any turkey with a handgun could work out how to kill a WangChung Grand Master if he started from far enough back. (Found this on the web http://www.wangchung.com/ hahaha)


Anyways, the point is, all this time I’m thinking; Well shit man -you can have all that crap --- & I choose an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile with a dirty great Nuclear Warhead thanks. I’ll kick your scrawny ass from another country. Heck while I’m about it I’ll mount it in a starwars programme satellite so you won't see it coming till it's too late. There's no near misses with Farts or Nuclear weapons. I'm pretty sure I'm smart enough to be the president of America going on observation of the current one & I'm pushing buttons right now so I have all the training I need to fire one of these things.

Talking of starwars - I’ll have a Death Star. Now that has to be the coolest Weapon of all time. I’ll fill in that silly trench & vent the exhaust gasses somewhere else & it’ll be Sa-wweet!

Now it’s time to crush those puny rebels & rule the galaxy. Bwahahaha!

[WRT]

Nope, they were closer with the human mind. Actaully, the greatest weapon in the world is my eyes, and I'll tell you why. Ok, so the death star can make a whole planet disappear, but when I close my eyes, not only planets, but the whole damn shooting match, galaxies, solar systems, death star and all - disappear! Right before my very eyes! Or not! Err . . . hang on . . .

Oh, dear, I can feel another one of those migraines coming on. Where's my little blue pills?

[F5 Dave]

Like that light in the fridge? Are you sure it's off now? Was on when the door was open. hmmm. . .

[WRT]

Like that light in the fridge? Are you sure it's off now? Was on when the door was open. hmmm. . .

Jeez mate, where did you go to school?? Everybody knows that the light in fridges runs off darkness. You have to open the door on the fridge to let the darkness in before the light will work. Thats why they arent very bright on sunny days, but in the middle of the night they are downright blinding!

[F5 Dave]

But hold on, if you were actually in the fridge & closed the door it would be totally dark inside so the light would work, really quite brightly, but then the light would make it not dark & you might be trapped in some sort of otherworldly space time continuum loop. Space is cold. Is that how fridges work?:scratch:

How 'bout you take out a few shelves & jump in, tell us how it goes.
& what it's like on the other side of the mirror?

[Pixie]

# 1.....Nuns

[WRT]

& what it's like on the other side of the mirror?

I keep asking, but the guy in the mirror seems to talk really quietly, he's very hard to understand. Good looking, but shy perhaps?

Wonder if you drove your bike into a fridge if you could use that time/space continum thingymajig to make your bike go warp speed? You want to loan me your bike and a really big fridge so I can try it out?

[Pixie]

without weapons Sabre tooth tigers used to think we were tasty treats.


This is a myth....they use to hate the way we got stuck in their teeth

[SixPackBack]

Like that light in the fridge? Are you sure it's off now? Was on when the door was open. hmmm. . .

Ask schrodinger's cat grasshopper!

[Pixie]

Nope, they were closer with the human mind. Actaully, the greatest weapon in the world is my eyes, and I'll tell you why. Ok, so the death star can make a whole planet disappear, but when I close my eyes, not only planets, but the whole damn shooting match, galaxies, solar systems, death star and all - disappear! Right before my very eyes! Or not! Err . . . hang on . . .

Oh, dear, I can feel another one of those migraines coming on. Where's my little blue pills?
Solipsist:crazy:

[WRT]

Solipsist:crazy:

Who said that? Is there someone else in here? Who are you and where did you come from?

Just you wait, I've seen Nothing, and been taking notes, so if I just concentrate like so and . . . . bzzurpt . . . ahh, thats better, alone again . . .

[NordieBoy]

Ask schrodinger's cat grasshopper!
Stupid name for a cat.

[Ixion]

Ask schrodinger's cat grasshopper!

Arggghhhh ! :Oi: I *HATE* that damn cat
:angry2: :mad: :oi-grr: :argh: :bash:

[TwoSeven]

I thought the cat was called albert, not grasshopper

[F5 Dave]

Arggghhhh ! :Oi: I *HATE* that damn cat
:angry2: :mad: :oi-grr: :argh: :bash:

Obviously so did Schrodinger. Gee, what has the cat ever done to him? Maybe he would have been better to give it some fish & a place in front of the fireplace to sleep. Ahhh. Purr Pushycat.:love: - I’m sure that would have relaxed this Schrodinger chap far more than taking his sadistic frustrations upon a small furry animal. Should have taken example of Ivan Pavlov, his dog was better cared for.

Bloody scientists. Too nerdy to ‘get any’ so they spend their time trying to inflict means of mass destruction or at least general unpleasantness on the rest of the populace.

[Swoop]

Well they were onto it when they put the human brain at #1.

A lot of the other shit was completely irrelevant - especially the "Walter" PPK. That's just hollyweird movie hype...:crazy:
The boomerang??? WORLD changing and influence? Pfffft.
I thought that "the knife" and "the club" would have been in there somewhere though... but if you are looking for ease of use and "no training required" perhaps we would have seen "the broken beer bottle" or "the jandal"?:rofl:

Monty Python had it right with "pointy sticks"...

The only other programme they have correct so far has been Fighters. P-51 Mustang!:clap:

[TwoSeven]

I call it worlds greatest opinions. Entertaining.

Thought the martial art demo was wing chun (didnt here what they called it). The long bow section featured plenty of shots of short bows and the chap was using a 32" target arrow.

[deathstar]

Talking of starwars - I’ll have a Death Star. Now that has to be the coolest Weapon of all time. I’ll fill in that silly trench & vent the exhaust gasses somewhere else & it’ll be Sa-wweet!

Now it’s time to crush those puny rebels & rule the galaxy. Bwahahaha!

you will not use me to crush the rebels i could crush some ants but i think thats it.

[F5 Dave]

Ohh I didn’t know they’d made you.

Have you done the exhaust mod yet?

Watch out for pesky rebels trying to fly X-wings up your crack if not.:whistle:

[Skyryder]

I just got into the programme with the Long Bow. Now that was a weapon with impact. The Battle of Agincourt. http://www.geocities.com/beckster05/Agincourt/AgBattle.html


Not too sure if they included the horse but from a historical perspective that would have to be the number one weapon and the Roman gladius second.

As for that Wing whatever as the number one Marlial art. That's bullshit.

Skyryder

[stevedee]

It's the same Wank that made the Honda Cub the best Top 10 motorcycle in the world, very disappointed. So 40 Million were made, ....who cares? And these were "experts", not.

[Deviant Esq]

We're not here for trick questions, greatest ever. What the fuck was that anyway - that was poorest "greatest ever"... well, ever! Lame.

[avgas]

how come they f'ed up every single one of those top ten?
At least they included the AK47 (weapons) and the T72 (war vehicles).........but im still pissed.
Where was the axe? Used for millions of years, still in use today....by millions of people.

[Swoop]

I call it worlds greatest opinions. Entertaining.

Thought the martial art demo was wing chun (didnt here what they called it). The long bow section featured plenty of shots of short bows and the chap was using a 32" target arrow.

The longbow, now there's a battlewinner. Would have been nice if they also noted that was where the "up yours" 2 finger salute comes from. The English archers would give this salute to the french as proof that they still had their bow-drawing fingers and would be able to fight. When caught the froggie bastards would cut the fingers off to prevent this awesome weapon from being used.

The loser of the next war should have to keep france as punishment...:angry2:

[WINJA]

that wing chun kung fu is the real deal when a properly trained person uses it , the guy last night poorly represented cause ive never seen fuckers breaking boards doing it .
im over 100 kg and a small dude from hong kong demonstarted a 1" punch on me , i thought hed be fulloshit , i got knocked over and landed on my arse real hard and i was ready for it , he said its no chi and bullshit just a good technique with over 20 years practice , it takes over 5 years to be real good at wing chun which in this modern world is to long , so ill have that snipers rifle thanks , i got rabbits im trying to shoot and my bang bang is slightly outa range

[Skyryder]

that wing chun kung fu is the real deal when a properly trained person uses it , the guy last night poorly represented cause ive never seen fuckers breaking boards doing it .
im over 100 kg and a small dude from hong kong demonstarted a 1" punch on me , i thought hed be fulloshit , i got knocked over and landed on my arse real hard and i was ready for it , he said its no chi and bullshit just a good technique with over 20 years practice , it takes over 5 years to be real good at wing chun which in this modern world is to long , so ill have that snipers rifle thanks , i got rabbits im trying to shoot and my bang bang is slightly outa range

I'd back a jitsu player everytime.

Skyryder

[WINJA]

I'd back a jitsu player everytime.

Skyryder
I DUNNO , THAT SNIPER RIFLE LOOKED MIGHTY POWERFUL

[myvice]

As I have been a crash test dummy for about 10 different martial arts trainers (long story, why do people like hurting me?) I can say with a little experience that they all fuckin hurt!
I'd go with the death star, change the name tho, I like "Deathtical" too long to fit on a personalised plate tho...

[miSTa]

Got to say that I loved the Katana, beautiful looking weapon, great workmanship and from an untrained eye the guy looked like he knew how to use it.

[deathstar]

Ohh I didn’t know they’d made you.

Have you done the exhaust mod yet?

Watch out for pesky rebels trying to fly X-wings up your crack if not.:whistle:

well lots of people talking in british accents which is homely and love the death ray scheme which is fun but heavy for the gn

[Wonko]

the greatest weapon - the human mind. Look how we think up great new ways to kill and maim each other.

What about the rock?? readily avaiable, requires no training, has multipe uses, bash and throw at target. Easily disposible, cheap, reliable.

[oldrider]

The greatest weapon ever produced is undoubtably WOMAN

[Jantar]

The greatest weapon ever produced is undoubtably WOMAN
Absolutely. This weapon kills more men than any other, yet for some reason us poor men just keep on wanting them. :rofl:

[Sniper]

Yet another dissapointing Greatest ever in my honest opinion