Contract of Wifely Expectations [Archive]

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SpankMe

23rd February 2006, 11:46

Well I've printed off a copy and my girlie will be signing it tonight.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html??2

miSTa

23rd February 2006, 11:53

Heard that on the radio this morning, the guy's a tosser. I couldn't be bothered remembering any of the rules that the wife would have to obey.

placidfemme

23rd February 2006, 11:58

Looks like a BDSM contract... for a slave...

MSTRS

23rd February 2006, 12:07

It's a joke....isn't it?:gob: If not, the guy needs to get himself to Haiti for a 'special order'

Karma

23rd February 2006, 12:15

Yeh he's got some balls alright...

Bekki

23rd February 2006, 12:43

:angry: I want to be disgusted by this guy but I can't help wondering what happened to him to make him this way and what exactly he thought was going to happen if he wasn't in total control of his wife... I wonder if his mum used to lock him in the cupboard.

We're all born as cute lil sponges ready to soak up the world around us.. what happens to some people?? :confused:

Sniper

23rd February 2006, 12:45

What a bloody retard, lemme guess, she was blonde and the word "Durr" was a prominant speech factor.

We're all born as cute lil pink sponges ready to soak up the world around us.. what happens to some people??
We are called cute sweet sponges and end up with anger problems.........

Paul in NZ

23rd February 2006, 12:57

I'll bet he downloaded it off the interwebby

Patrick

23rd February 2006, 13:02

Was he wrong in being up front and to the point?:slap:

enigma51

23rd February 2006, 13:08

wife is signing one tonight!

Bekki

23rd February 2006, 13:14

What a bloody retard, lemme guess, she was blonde and the word "Durr" was a prominant speech factor.
She took the thing to the police so, credit.. it takes a lotta guts for abused wives to do something about their situation..

But, yeah, marrying the guy and having children by him in the first place...?!?! :scratch:

kels

23rd February 2006, 13:15

Read the first couple of lines and quickly glanced over the 1st page. Then refused to give it anymore of my time.

What an absolute :tugger:

The guy needs to be educated on how to treat a woman...I am fully prepared to be the Teacher and teach him a lesson.

Sniper

23rd February 2006, 13:19

She took the thing to the police so, credit.. it takes a lotta guts for abused wives to do something about their situation..
I'll give her credit for that. I don't believe in abusing women. I know my partner broke my arm, but I let her, made her feel important you know :Oops:

But, yeah, marrying the guy and having children by him in the first place...?!?! :scratch:
But yea, people change quite dramatically. I had an old girlfriend who was particularly nice for the first week until she saw my room. She lasted 2 more days..........

enigma51

23rd February 2006, 13:35

But yea, people change quite dramatically. I had an old girlfriend who was particularly nice for the first week until she saw my room. She lasted 2 more days..........

Similiar thing happend to me gone out for about 2 weeks with this girl and one night she convinced me to show my "stuff" and hmmmmm know we married :sherlock:

bugjuice

23rd February 2006, 13:45

"When we are in bed together I can cuddle, spoon, hold or touch you in anyway, as long as it is does not excessively disrupt your sleep"
seems fair..

tis actually a bit much.. What made me chuckle a bit, is that while reading it, iTunes randomly picked out a nice array of songs for me, such as 'Trick Me - Kellis' and which ended in 'Sweetest thing - U2'

SpankMe

23rd February 2006, 13:54

I don't think this guy wrote that contract. It's too well thought out and seems to be written as a joke. He must have found it on the web and took it too literally.

Paul in NZ

23rd February 2006, 14:30

I'm pretty sure that sorta crap would be all over the place if you cared to look (I'm at work so please excuse me if I don't). Like Placid said, it reads more like some sort of wierd sex thing and if it's like most fantasy things, they don't translate well into reality! Living a life 24/7 is different to a few sweaty tussles... A bit like biking eh! Some like the occasional ride and some do it every day!...

If it was some sorta kink game they were both into and then she got cold feet, bummer going to the feds and I'll bet he is pissed off!

If he thought it was for real and she had no prior warning then he should be locked up as a favour to the gene pool! Man, what an optomist!

Many (many) moons ago I had a little peek into these alternative worlds and like a lot of extreme lifestyles, my view was that they are pretty well unsustainable long term unless both parties are totally into it. I guess things have changed in 30 years and the web makes meeting like minded souls a lot easier but really, it's all a bit odd! I'll bet theres a lot more to this story than meets the eye!

ManDownUnder

23rd February 2006, 14:34

Oh I can see that going down like a cup of cold sick at our place LMAO

Lias

23rd February 2006, 14:43

I've seen/heard of similar thigns in consentual BDSM relationships before.

Gonna make the missus sign 2nite :-)

Lou Girardin

23rd February 2006, 14:47

A guarantee of solo sex for life.

Grahameeboy

23rd February 2006, 14:51

A guarantee of solo sex for life.

Marriage ain't guaranteed, solo sex is...........hold that thought.....

Patrick

23rd February 2006, 14:54

"Solo sex" and "hold that"...say what? On ya Grahamee...

enigma51

23rd February 2006, 15:04

Marriage ain't guaranteed, solo sex is...........hold that thought.....

Men think when they get married they will have sex more often women know that they only have to when they want too

bugjuice

23rd February 2006, 15:06

and that is 90% of why you don't get married..

Grahameeboy

23rd February 2006, 15:17

and that is 90% of why you don't get married..

and sadly the 10% ends us up in Church!!

mstriumph

23rd February 2006, 15:29

Some expectations of some things in relation to some people under some circumstances are reasonable
[ie me expecting that motorists on the cross will obey the red light and allow my safe passage through the intersection].

Some are not
[numerous examples spring to mind here - some obscene ... so why don't i just allow you to insert your favorite non-compliance here:- .......................................use a seperate page if necessary].

this was obviously one of the latter.
:sleep:

Lou Girardin

23rd February 2006, 15:39

Marriage ain't guaranteed, solo sex is...........hold that thought.....

Until you get carpel tunnel syndrome.

Grahameeboy

23rd February 2006, 15:42

Until you get carpel tunnel syndrome.

Alternate then!!

enigma51

23rd February 2006, 15:45

and that is 90% of why you don't get married..

Im going to have such a good laugh the day you stand in front of the alter!

Mate trust me women have a way of letting you agree to things only a drunk man would otherwise!

Women are evil!

Grahameeboy

23rd February 2006, 15:47

Im going to have such a good laugh the day you stand in front of the alter!

Mate trust me women have a way of letting you agree to things only a drunk man would otherwise!

Women are evil!

Sorry despite my bad experience that is not a fair call Mr Eggy......

bugjuice

23rd February 2006, 15:47

you'll be laughing.. mate, I'll be pissing myself

SPORK

23rd February 2006, 16:21

Meh, sounds fair to me.

Lou Girardin

23rd February 2006, 16:21

Im going to have such a good laugh the day you stand in front of the alter!

Mate trust me women have a way of letting you agree to things only a drunk man would otherwise!

Women are evil!

Marriage is like a hurricane - starts with a blow job, you end up with half a house.

Skyryder

23rd February 2006, 18:04

I wonder what sort of contract the kids were.

1 All expenditure on your upbringing is to be considered a loan at 25%
2 Any job you are offered for work after school you are to take it.
3 You can not resihn unless without my authority
4 On your motheres Good Behavour Days you are to be out of the house by 9am and not to return untill 8pm.
5 Loud music can only be played during the day when your mother and I are 'sleeping.'
6 On these occasions you will e given time to submit a list of tracks for my approaval

etc etc.

Skyryder

DirtMad

23rd February 2006, 18:32

Looks pretty mint to me :rolleyes: the GBD`s are a waste of time though :rofl:

Skyryder

26th February 2006, 20:56

Looks pretty mint to me :rolleyes: the GBD`s are a waste of time though :rofl:

That's what I thought. Everything was serious. I think whoever wrote it was for real. It's handwritten. Not the sort of thing a geek would do then flog it onto the web. It's the real mccoy.

SKYRYDER

WINJA

26th February 2006, 21:07

WINJA

26th February 2006, 21:09

Marriage is like a hurricane - starts with a blow job, you end up with half a house.
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WIFE AND A JOB ? JOB STILL SUCKS AFTER 2 YEARS