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Swoop
9th June 2006, 12:44
(Did a search - not a repost as far as I can tell!)

Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they

aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his

first witness - a grandmotherly, elderly woman - to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known

you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big

disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you

manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think

you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never

will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed

across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense

attorney?"

She again replies, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he

was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking

problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his

law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention

he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was

your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very

quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows

me, I'll send you BOTH to the electric chair.":first:

DemonWolf
9th June 2006, 12:48
hahaha.. classic!

Edbear
9th June 2006, 12:56
Heard this one before, but it's still a classic!:first:

cowboy
9th June 2006, 13:02
hahahehe!!

Colapop
9th June 2006, 22:05
You must bling someone else.... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

oldrider
10th June 2006, 01:00
Ha ha. I live with a Southern Grandma, same name too! :blip:

kickingzebra
10th June 2006, 01:15
Hah, bloody brilliant!!!