The Un-PC joke thread

[Sniper]

There are a few un PC jokes floating around on the sickest joke thread so lets have them here. If you don't like it, don't read further, simple isn't it?
I dont look down on nigger, kikes, wops, greasers or honkies. But I find jokes about them funny as hell.

So come on, anything Un PC and funny, share with us.

[The_Dover]

Typical bloody racist South African.

Where's the jokes then?

[BeakerRAT]

We're waiting, now entertain us.

[Sniper]

Not very Un PC, but you get the drift


As a squad of British soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled British soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened. “Well,” he whispered, “I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, ‘Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of shit!’” “He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, ‘Tony Blair is an unprincipled, lying piece of shit too!’” “We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us.”

[T.W.R]

White man goes into the delivery room, nurse hands him a black baby.
She asks " is this yours? "
" Yeah probably" man says; " my wife burns every fuckin thing "

[yungatart]

What did the Germans send the Jews after the war?









... the gas bill.

[DMNTD]

What do ya call a Maori air hostess?






Air whore

[hXc]

"Fuck I'm hungry!"
"Hey, I'm Germany. Wanna go to war?"





http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=33241

[Sniper]

Do you know why Jews noses or so big?

Air is free.

[Craig11]

What do you do when a crowd of black people are running towards you?






Stop Laughing and reload. :yes:

[mstriumph]

hmmmmmmm

so the South African and the Afrikaaner were debating whether sexually-satisfying their wives-of-20-years was still play or more like hard work ......

in the end they decided it MUST still be play...

.... 'cause, if it were WORK they'd be getting the kaffir to do it ......

[Sniper]

Whats the similarities between a broken gun and a black?



Both wont work and you can't fire them......

[mstriumph]

.......... or there's the one about the South African who was moaning on about why Jesus was born in Bethlehem in the holy land when he SHOULD have been born in Bethlehem in South Africa

....... 'till someone pointed out to him how impossible it would be to find three wise men and a virgin in South Africa .....

[Sniper]

President Mugabe goes on an official state visit to a small country
in the middle of Africa. At the airport he is met by this country's
Minister of Harbours. All of a sudden Mr. Mugabe realizes that this
is absurd, this country has no harbours as it is landlocked! He is
very puzzled and decides to find out what the story is.

At the official state banquet later that evening, he leans over to the
President and asks, "Mr. President, why do you have a Minister of
Harbours when you don't have any harbours?"

The President looks Mr. Mugabe straight in the eye and says, "Well
you know that may be true Mr. Mugabe, but I was just as puzzled at
why you have a Minister of Law and Order?"

[hXc]

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
1) Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
5) Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
12) staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odour is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
15)Great... Fa Kin Su Pah

[McJim]

You want sick?

Mercenary soldier in a war zone needs to take a dump. The commanding officer says "You're not taking a dump in this trench buddy we may have to live here for days - go to those part ruined buildings over there - we'll give you covering fire" so the guy runs across no man's land and duck's through a doorway. "Get ready to give him more covering fire" says the C.O.
5 minutes pass - no sign, 10 minutes, 20, half an hour and still there's no sign of the dude. After 540 minutes the C.O. says okay, looks like he found a booby trap, stand down and scratch him off the wage bill. Just then they see him pop out of the building and start running towards them doing up his trousers. They lay down a covering fire and he made it back to cover. "What took you so long?" the C.O. asked
"Well Sarge, I met this nurse, beautiful legs, great tits, lovely arse and we were just shagging. I was on top, then she was on top then I took her from behind..."
"Did she give you a blowjob?" asked one of the junior troops
"Nah mate, I couldn't find her head."

[SkOrM]

how many jews can you fit a car?
7... 2 up front 3 in the back and 2 in the ash tray

whats long and black?
the wellfare line

how long does a black lady to take shit?
9 months

[T.W.R]

Two Tongan lads are riding along the motorway on a motorbike, the bike breaks down and they decide to try & hitch a lift.

A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the tongan lads ask him for a lift, He tells them he has no room in his rig as he's carrying 5000 bowling balls, but he offers to have a look at the bike for them.

He trys everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he is now late for his delivery so tells the tongan lads he has to leave.

"Hey Bro" they say "gissa fuckin lift"

Once again the trucker says he can't as he is carrying 5000 bowling balls and there's just no room.

The tongan lads put it to the trucker that if they can fit the bike & themselves in will he take them, to this he agrees.

The tongan lads manage to fit the themselves & the bike into the back of the truck, so the trucker shuts the doors and heads off on his way.

By this time he is running really late so decides to put the boot down. Sure enough he gets pulled up by a cop for speeding.

The cop asks him what he is carrying, to which he replys "Tongan Eggs". The cop obviously doesn't believe this and asks to have a look, He duely walks to the back of the truck & opens up the doors and quickly shuts it again & locks it.

He gets on to his radio and calls for immediate back-up from as many officers as possible.

The dispatcher asks what the emergency is that requires so many officers.

"I've got a truck full of tongan eggs, two have hatched and they've managed to steal a motorcycle already!"

[Qkchk]

What does a tampon and a Ford have in common?
Both come with tow-ropes and are used by cunts.

Why dont Maoris like Aspirin?
Cause it's white and it works.......

What did Jesus say to the Maoris?
Dont do anything til I get back.

What do Maoris and smokes have in common?
They both stink, come in packs of 20 and everyone wants them banned from pubs.

Why are there no Maoris on Star Trek?
Cos they dont work in the future either!

2 Men in South Africa dragging a Pakistani out of the sea by a rope around his waist. A Vicar walks by and says "thats what I like to see, man helping fellow man". When the Vicar leaves, first man turns to the other and says "He may be a good Vicar, but he knows fuck all about shark fishing!"

[Oakie]

EDIT: JOKE DELETED
Oops. Just checked back after I posted this and spotted that Big McJim had posted the same joke 5 minutes ago. Bugger!

[Qkchk]

Mens "F" rules in life:



Find her

Follow her

Friend her

Flirt her

French her

Finger her

Force her

Fuck her

Forget her











FIND HER FRIEND!:blip: