View Full Version : How Men and Women Differ
miSTa
18th October 2006, 21:36
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Dischem.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret-fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Meekey_Mouse
18th October 2006, 21:39
Haha, that is awsome!! So true :D... I think any way.. will be interested too see what other people think
Crasherfromwayback
18th October 2006, 21:50
We men had to forgo the ability to be able to multi task so that we got the ability to be rational.
SARGE
18th October 2006, 22:18
We men had to forgo the ability to be able to multi task so that we got the ability to be rational.
we also gave up the multiple orgasm to be able to pee standing up
Crasherfromwayback
18th October 2006, 22:21
we also gave up the multiple orgasm to be able to pee standing up
Hell no mate....we can have multiple orgasms....one a night every night...right before a good snooze!
What machines!
MyGSXF
18th October 2006, 22:30
we also gave up the multiple orgasm to be able to pee standing up
LOL.. WE chicks can do BOTH!!!! :nya:
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/Boats-marine/Parts-accessories/Other/auction-72295825.htm
MyGSXF
18th October 2006, 22:34
one a night every night...
Is that all??????????????? :rolleyes:
bugger..... :rofl:
Crasherfromwayback
18th October 2006, 22:52
Is that all??????????????? :rolleyes:
bugger..... :rofl:
Shit....I thought that was some sort of record to be proud of!!
Guess I should've lied.....:scooter:
MyGSXF
18th October 2006, 23:01
Guess I should've lied.....:scooter:
so what's new....?? :dodge: you're a male!!! :bleh:
WRT
19th October 2006, 09:00
As good as it gets, talking about women: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."
DingoZ
15th February 2008, 17:52
NICKNAMES.
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT.
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none
will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY.
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale
BATHROOMS.
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Ridges.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS.
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS.
• Women love cats.
• Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE.
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP.
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL.
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING.
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears
and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.
• Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
• What a woman says: C'mon..This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the
laundry now.
• What a man hears: C'MON .... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah,
NOW!
:whistle:
JimO
15th February 2008, 18:03
its funny cos its true
Trudes
15th February 2008, 18:10
I'm an arsehole and I'm proud.... arh shit that was meant to be, I'm a woman and I'm proud.
I realised yesterday that I've put on a kilo for every year I've been married, best I ditch him then.
EJK
15th February 2008, 18:16
I love the last bit :rofl:
homer
15th February 2008, 18:25
its funny cos its true
Thats my saying
lol
homer
15th February 2008, 18:26
I love the last bit :rofl:
as for the last bit
fuck i wis:clap:h
homer
15th February 2008, 18:27
And i recken ive put on a kilo per year i havnt been married
Daffyd
15th February 2008, 18:43
True...Oh so true.
MVnut
15th February 2008, 19:57
Us men are lucky, we have braincells in two places, although the ones in our skulls often get lonely:yes:
homer
15th February 2008, 20:44
Ya just think with ya head ....thats all that matters
Mikkel
16th February 2008, 12:43
I think I've put on close to four kg every year I haven't been married... ;)
Frenchy
1st August 2009, 12:47
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Grahameeboy
1st August 2009, 12:52
Yeah when I saw your name "Frenchy", I assumed you were female
gatch
1st August 2009, 13:00
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
Gold..
10 char
LBD
1st August 2009, 15:16
AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH OF IT!:shutup:
roadracingoldfart
3rd August 2009, 22:16
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Ohhh shit yes mate , bang on
ready4whatever
6th August 2009, 10:11
pure truth
The Baron
6th August 2009, 13:39
It is all true. But don't tell my wife I said that.
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