BDOTGNZA work programme for 2008

[Pixie]

The BDOTGNZA will only accept a note from your mummy. You're not getting it yet, now are you?

The curse of the mummy

[Pixie]

How come flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? My mate Trev always says 'nused' as in 'I nused to say "used" but now I say "nused" ' He also says accriate, as in "It's not accriate to say 'nused'". Funny thing is, his wife now says the same things! She didn't used to. Some people say "Alls you have to do." Alls! Come on! :whocares:

Aaahh
The weather tosser on TV.The one that looks like santa...

He was explaining how tornados form:
"...the funda clouds form a chimbley and updrafts travel fousands of feet into the sky..."

[Hitcher]

Aaahh
The weather tosser on TV.The one that looks like santa...

If I'd got to him by age seven, I could have cured him with the patented "Cure your child's lisp in 30 minutes or your money back" Hitcher anti-lisping programme.

Step one in this programme is to exterminate the over-indulgent and self-absorbed parent who thinks that their wee dear is gifted and encourages such nonsense. Such folk simply do not get the difference between intelligence and precociousness.

[Swoop]

"Albotri! Albotri! Get your albotri here!"
"Do you get wafers with it?"
Of course you don't get fucking wafers with it! It's a bleedin' seabird!

[Hitcher]

Stormy petrel on a stick?

[MSTRS]

Is 'they're', 'there' and 'their' in the to/two/too hard basket? Where/wear/ware it's/its supposed to be/bee?

[Hitcher]

Touche. Or thereabouts.

[James Deuce]

How about "though and "thou"?

That one makes my vision red out and diced carrots shoot out of my nose.

[Hitcher]

Acceptable only as an archaic second-person singular or as a contraction of thousand.

Agreed on the red mist though. It ranks up there with "aye" instead of "eh". Eh?

[yungatart]

Face it, guys! Literacy, or the lack of it, is absolutely rife on here.

It would be far too much work to correct everything, so I suggest that you put all the offending words/phrases in a hat and draw out one or two on which to concentrate your efforts.

[MSTRS]

Acceptable only as an archaic second-person singular or as a contraction of thousand.

Agreed on the red mist though. It ranks up there with "aye" instead of "eh". Eh?

Aye. It does, eh!

[MSTRS]

Face it, guys! Literacy, or the lack of it, is absolutely rife on here.

It would be far too much work to correct everything, so I suggest that you put all the offending words/phrases in a hat and draw out one or two on which to concentrate your efforts.

Where is the fun in that? Single out the individuals for special treatment. This place is getting far too PC

[Her_C4]

How about "though and "thou"?

That one makes my vision red out and diced carrots shoot out of my nose.

Althou Im' poor and broke like evrey1 els is to, Id' pay a though$ too see this m8.

:2thumbsup

[Hitcher]

Im. There goes another one...

[cowpoos]

I vote we speak or write..or what ever it is we do..in another language..fricken english is to complicated!!

[cowpoos]

I also vote that we should stop using acronyms...coz they dumb...and you waste so much fricken time working out what the writer has implied!! like what the hang does BDOTGNZA stand for...i mean...come on people....lets keep it real!!

[Highlander]

Is it just me or does "Her_B4's" signature (JOIN THE SENSIBLE SENTENCING TRUST...) seem to fit right in with this thread?

[James Deuce]

Althou Im' poor and broke like evrey1 els is to, Id' pay a though$ too see this m8.

:2thumbsup
I can always console myself with the thought that thou art composed of dimensions minuscule.

[Hitcher]

what the hang does BDOTGNZA stand for...

We stand for real English, accurate, lucid, concise, properly punctuated and Unamericanised. Not to mention single-malt scotch, pizza and gorrrrrgeous women.

[Beemer]

Anyways. Please stamp out Anyways.

Yes, yes - and 'anywhos' which is not so common but just as bloody irritating!

[MSTRS]

And no, there are no green stamps, unlike that inferior organisation, BOTTY. Some people will do anything to make a sale....

[Beemer]

fuk'n ay man..

I always thought the middle part of this (well, I did grow up in Whakatane) was A - as in "fucking A, man" to refer to something was was Ace - another archaic expression that those under 30 may not be familiar with.

[cowpoos]

We stand for real English, accurate, lucid, concise, properly punctuated and Unamericanised. Not to mention single-malt scotch, pizza and gorrrrrgeous women.
thats either not the correct meaning or it isn't actually a acronym???

[MSTRS]

thats either not the correct meaning or it isn't actually a acronym???

That is what BDOTGNZA stands for...ie what they believe in.
As for the acronym - Brave Defenders Of The Great New Zealand Arse. Set up in the first instance to stamp out the crass Americanism, 'ass'. A work, sadly remaining, 'in progress'...
Still, some achievements have been made, I'm sure, but vigilance must be eternal lest the rot really sets in.

[Storm]

We stand for real English, accurate, lucid, concise, properly punctuated and Unamericanised. Not to mention single-malt scotch, pizza and gorrrrrgeous women.

Could you please clarify your position on:
-sprotsbike
-gargre
-praked

[yungatart]

Those terms are KBisms. They are part of our folklore, culture and heritage. As such, they are entirely acceptable and definitely legitimate.

[Swoop]

I vote we speak or write..or what ever it is we do..in another language..fricken english is <STRIKE>to</STRIKE> TOO complicated!!

thats either not the correct meaning or it isn't actually <STRIKE>a</STRIKE> AN acronym???
A complete load of ass really...

[Hitcher]

Could you please clarify your position on:
-sprotsbike
-gargre
-praked

Completely supportive. They are part of the official Kiwi Biker Lexicon(TM) http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/wiki/index.php/Kiwibiker_Lexicon

You forgot:
-crusier
-scroter
-tourier
-evel
-to name a few...

[cowpoos]

A complete load of ass really...
thats cool how you put the line through the mis-used words!! how you do that??



by the way...and for the record...I like ass!! [female ass of course!]

[Hitcher]

by the way...and for the record...I like ass!! [female ass of course!]

You can take the boy out of the 'rapa, eh? And it's nice to know you have standards: no "gay" animal sex for young cowpoos...

[cowpoos]

You can take the boy out of the 'rapa, eh? And it's nice to know you have standards: no "gay" animal sex for young cowpoos...
you almost sound disappointed?? and also for the record...I'm not from the rapa..I lived there for 1.5years...I'm from the awesome hawkes bay!! [although I do miss cantabury..nice place to live!!]

[far queue]

[although I do miss cantabury..nice place to live!!]It's a shame you didn't learn how to spell the name of the province while you were here :2guns:

[Ocean1]

It's a shame you didn't learn how to spell the name of the province while you were here :2guns:

Or Hawke Bay for that matter.

[MSTRS]

Or Hawke Bay for that matter.

Aha!! That's where you fall down...the watery bit is Hawke Bay, the dry bit is Hawkes Bay.

[Ocean1]

Aha!! That's where you fall down...the watery bit is Hawke Bay, the dry bit is Hawkes Bay.

Dude I will not have you telling me where to fall down. The clear implication is that I have a choice, a proposal I utterly reject.

[MSTRS]

Dude, I will not have you telling me where to fall down. The clear implication is that I have a choice, a proposal I utterly reject.

Apart from that bit, you did really well. Congratulations. Here - have the key to the executive washroom.:apint:

[Hitcher]

Aha!! That's where you fall down...the watery bit is Hawke Bay, the dry bit is Hawkes Bay.

Hawke's Bay, if your daily newspaper is to be believed...

[Grub]

It's enough to make one want to involve the Pleece, or one's sekitry.

Especially if it happens on a Choosday

[Hitcher]

Especially if it happens on a Choosday

That could give one a nasty skier...

[Luckylegs]

Especially if it happens on a Choosday

You mean Tuesdee...

[Grub]

Other suggestions for the "Hit List" are welcome

Dear sirs,

May I respectfully request that a crisis team be formed, briefed and released into the field to seek and destroy the use of "of" in the place of "have".

It is with some alarm that I notice the youth of this fine establishement erring thus and as a consequence, putting themselves and their acquaintences in grave danger. To whit, as painful as these are to type, I must inform the Brave Defenders of actual documented instances ...

- "I should of worn my cordura"
- "We could of gone via Paekak but we went over the Akatarawas"
- "Then when .....


... I'm sorry ... I just can't continue ... could we please bring back Daniel Jones?

[MSTRS]

Hawke's Bay, if your daily newspaper is to be believed...

That is a matter I fear will never be resolved. Perhaps this instance is one of those where the respective proponents have tacitly agreed to let either version be acceptable?
For me, although I suspect that the apostrophe'd version is the correct one, I don't bother with it.
Note of interest....there is a business establishment here that utilises the province name in it's own name, but the original signwriter obviously did not use the apostrophe. At some point, this apparent error was made clear to the signie, who then 'fixed' it....by adding the apostrophe UPSIDE DOWN. It remains so to this day. Clearly no-one really cares.

[vifferman]

Dear sirs,
acquaintences :nono:

Let he who is without grammatical and typographical error cast the first gnome.

[James Deuce]

You leave the Gnomes alone.

It's Dwarves that want tossing.

[Hitcher]

http://www.minbu.connectfree.co.uk/dwarf.htm

[vifferman]

You leave the Gnomes alone.

It's Dwarves that want tossing.
Sorry 'bout that.:confused:
I was casting around for summat to use instead of stone, but in my envirused state, it wasn't readily happening.

[Grub]

At the entry-level, work is still required enforcing basic standards, such as the convention of starting sentences with a capital letter, ending them with a full stop, and putting a space between the two..

In support of my application for Brave Defender Fellowship, I have prepared some research on the broken link between puntuation and the spacebar on many computers.


.... nice one Mv.senna.Was reading ..... about them,like thats stupid & dangerous,what if .... into me blabla,so anyway .... over harbourbridge,how

stupid .... bummer dude,why you ...


.... the guys he mentions,but and a big BUT,when guy.... their riding,I take heed of it.Sure they .... circuits etc,but doing ..... trouble,i.e cops and other

vehicles.This is th.....



.... border rd henderson,came up behind .... fuk this ,i chop down 2 .... and is coming for me,right up my ass .... bang,bang biff smash ... anyway,end of

story .... the peace,and dangerous ......


.... the rest is self defence,if me i wouldnt lie down,may cost ....


Hey mate.Sorry to here about the skid.Glad you aint to badly hurt.Darn about the bike.Heal well

It appears that the spacebar link is not present on new computers as the malady of not using spaces following punctuation appears to have afflicted the young. The young are usually the ones with the newest latest and greatest gaming rig computers and of course they are also products of the modern educashin system.

Respectfully submitted

The Grub

[MSTRS]

Apologist!! Make not excuses for the afflicted. A (good) workman blameth not his tools.

[Trudes]

I want to join too, but need to know first, just how anal do I have to be? I consider myself to be fairly up-tight, but not sure if I'd fit in.:pinch:

[MSTRS]

I want to join too, but need to know first, just how anal do I have to be? I consider myself to be fairly up-tight, but not sure if I'd fit in.:pinch:

Often, you need to just take a deep breath, and stop resisting. Apparently, it stops hurting after a while....:devil2:

[98tls]

In support of my application for Brave Defender Fellowship, I have prepared some research on the broken link between puntuation and the spacebar on many computers.










It appears that the spacebar link is not present on new computers as the malady of not using spaces following punctuation appears to have afflicted the young. The young are usually the ones with the newest latest and greatest gaming rig computers and of course they are also products of the modern educashin system.

Respectfully submitted

The Grub :argue:How dare you call me young,old as the hills me and whats a spacebar.........................?

[Fatjim]

Ass, Assier and assiest.

[ManDownUnder]

Ass, Assier and assiest.

Are those real words or are are you hypotheticating?

[Fatjim]

This thread is like one of those nasty fancy dress bondage nights.

It lets people show THERE less attractive side without fear of ridecule.

[idb]

This thread is like one of those nasty fancy dress bondage nights.

It lets people show THERE less attractive side without fear of ridecule.

Ooo, ooo,ooo - must...resist...obvious...pedant...trap...

[Hitcher]

I want to join too, but need to know first, just how anal do I have to be? I consider myself to be fairly up-tight, but not sure if I'd fit in.:pinch:

The BDOTGNZA eschews smilies. I have a lump of coal. If this hasn't turned to a diamond of equivalent dimensions after 10 days in your rectum, then more severe anal strictures may be necessary.

[Trudes]

The BDOTGNZA eschews smilies. I have a lump of coal. If this hasn't turned to a diamond of equivalent dimensions after 10 days in your rectum, then more severe anal strictures may be necessary.

So.... you're asking if I can turn a lump of coal into a diamond by sticking it up my arse? Well..... I never!!! (Not sure, maybe the bleach will at least turn it white, does that count??)

[Hitcher]

(Not sure, maybe the bleach will at least turn it white, does that count??)

I'm not sure that's quite what The Bard had in mind when he penned the immortal line "Once more into the bleach, dear friends, once more!"

[Virago]

I'm not sure that's quite what The Bard had in mind when he penned the immortal line "Once more into the bleach, dear friends, once more!"

"Is this a dagg I see before me...?"

[Phurrball]

Here's an extra 'special' sign for BDOTGNZA's consideration and opprobrium - on the side a bus purporting to teach 'English for Migrants' :blink:

Hitcher: Please put down any peanuts or drink before viewing... Choking to death would not serve the aims of the Brave Defenders.

If any Auckland-based pedants wish to take the great red marker of correction to the signs - they may be found on two busses that spend their evenings parked out the back of Videon on Dominion Rd.

[jrandom]

Videon on Dominion Rd.

The temple of awesomeness!

I've been renting movies there for the better part of twenty years.

You know what's a well-kept secret, though? Civic Video in Devonport. It's like a mini-Videon - every DVD in perfect scratchless condition, a huge collection of obscure yet great films, and an encylopaediac shelf of every great TV series ever released on DVD.

Hallelujah, I no longer need to ride over the bridge to rent DVDs.

:yes:

[idb]

Here's an extra 'special' sign for BDOTGNZA's consideration and opprobrium - on the side a bus purporting to teach 'English for migrants' :blink:

Hitcher: Please put down any peanuts or drink before viewing... Choking to death would not serve the aims of the Brave Defenders.

If any Auckland-based pedants wish to take the great red marker of correction to the signs - they may be found on two busses that spend their evenings parked out the back of Videon on Dominion Rd.

Ahaaaaa...missing apostrophe syndrome...or not...I'm not sure...?!

[Hitcher]

Ahaaaaa...missing apostrophe syndrome...or not...I'm not sure...?!

Gahh! Thud.

[idb]

Ooooohhh...now I get it!!!

[Swoop]

Here's an extra 'special' sign...
Which educational institution does this belong to?

[MisterD]

Here's an extra 'special' sign for BDOTGNZA's consideration and opprobrium - on the side a bus purporting to teach 'English for migrants' :blink:

Are you suggesting that "migrants" should not be capitalised (as I would deduce from the above quote)...I would assume that "English for Migrants" is the title of a course, and therefore properly has a capital 'm'.

I can only spot the missing 'd'...but then I've only had one coffee so far today.

[Hitcher]

I can only spot the missing 'd'...but then I've only had one coffee so far today.

An apt, perhaps ironic, observation, MisterD.

[idb]

It's the mi's'sing apo'strophe's I tell's ya!!!

[MisterD]

An apt, perhaps ironic, observation, MisterD.

Irony? That means "a bit like iron" doesn't it? It's funny how as soon as you step into one of these grammar threads, you start second-guessing yourself and all certainty vanishes....:wacko:

[MSTRS]

Irony? That means "a bit like iron" doesn't it? It's funny how as soon as you step into one of these grammar threads, you start second-guessing yourself and all certainty vanishes....:wacko:

Or all vanishes, certainly...

[Wolf]

Which educational institution does this belong to?
I am sure you mean, "To which educational institution does this belong?" :devil2:

[Edbear]

I'm not sure that's quite what The Bard had in mind when he penned the immortal line "Once more into the bleach, dear friends, once more!"

I thought it was "bleacher's", or was it "bleachers'", maybe "bleachers", or should they be capitalised like the Migrants/Migrant's/Migrants'...?:rolleyes:


Are you suggesting that "migrants" should not be capitalised (as I would deduce from the above quote)...I would assume that "English for Migrants" is the title of a course, and therefore properly has a capital 'm'.

I can only spot the missing 'd'...but then I've only had one coffee so far today.

I believe all migrants should be capitalised! What a capital idea!:niceone:


I am sure you mean, "To which educational institution does this belong?" :devil2:

Take your pick, these days! All of them are lacking somewhat in general knowledge of the English language...:crybaby:

[Phurrball]

Are you suggesting that "migrants" should not be capitalised (as I would deduce from the above quote)...I would assume that "English for Migrants" is the title of a course, and therefore properly has a capital 'm'.

I can only spot the missing 'd'...but then I've only had one coffee so far today.

Was bound to happen in this thread. Should indeed be title case as it clearly is in the original photo. Error corrected, bling awarded.

HOW could they get title case correct, but miss the 'd'?? Especially on the word 'advanced' referring to English language skills - that was what really peturbed me.

[Hitcher]

"Title case" should be banned. It is a hangover from secretarial schools (like other antique conventions such as two spaces after full stops). The only place title case is used is in office environments (by people who don't know any better), where it causes no end of angst when professional editors remove it in preference for the more acceptable and widely used "sentence case".

Title case is problematic in its application as, like apostrophe usage, most people don't get its purpose in the first place.

Sentence case rules!

[Wolf]

"Title case" should be banned. It is a hangover from secretarial schools (like other antique conventions such as two spaces after full stops). The only place title case is used is in office environments (by people who don't know any better), where it causes no end of angst when professional editors remove it in preference for the more acceptable and widely used "sentence case".

Title case is problematic in its application as, like apostrophe usage, most people don't get its purpose in the first place.

Sentence case rules!

I use title case and two spaces after the full stop all the time. I'm pretty sure I know when to use title case and the two spaces separate the sentences to help aging bastards like me tell if the dark smudge after the word is a full stop or a comma.

[mynameis]

Got an interesting project for you guys, edit every single post on KB and get it right to BDOTGNZA standard!

Bwahaha!

[jrandom]

Got an interesting project for you guys, edit every single post on KB and get it right to BDOTGNZA standard!

90% of them would end up blank.

[Hitcher]

There are not enough hours in the day. And the offenders would learn nothing.

[Grub]

It's the mi's'sing apo'strophe's I tell's ya!!!

Now how on earth are "English for Migrants" students going to make sense out of that :)

The english language is a shit to learn as it has so many common words with different meanings but apostophes get even those with Unglish as a First Language. {Hitcher Bait - in Title Case too}

"The farmer's stock" we are taught, is singular because of the apostrophe i.e. belonging to the farmer. Try and use that with "its" and "it's" and you fall flat on your face. I think most people make the error because of that rote learned at school about who it belongs to as it applies to the possesive (like farmer's).

However the possessive form of "it" has no apostrophe, while the contraction of "it is" or "it has" does have an apostrophe (it's).

Blardy confusing - but interesting.

[MSTRS]

"The farmer's stock" we are taught, is singular because of the apostrophe i.e. belonging to the farmer. Try and use that with "its" and "it's" and you fall flat on your face. I think most people make the error because of that rote learned at school about who it belongs to as it applies to the possesive (like farmer's).

However the possessive form of "it" has no apostrophe, while the contraction of "it is" or "it has" does have an apostrophe (it's).



So you are saying...for the possessive ' , one uses it with a noun, but not with a pronoun?
In the example you gave, that would be the stock belonging to one farmer. But if there were two or more farmers owning stock, then it would be the farmers' stock ??

[Grub]

So you are saying...for the possessive ' , one uses it with a noun, but not with a pronoun?
In the example you gave, that would be the stock belonging to one farmer. But if there were two or more farmers owning stock, then it would be the farmers' stock ??

Yes it would because "stock" is both singular and plural ... and it gets more funner than that, how about ...
The farmer's daughter's knickers
The farmer's daughters' knickers
The farmers' daughter's knickers
The farmers' daughters' knickers

Although we tend not to use the trailing apostrophe. The possessive pronouns are mine, yours, his, hers, its, ours, theirs so they don't need the apostrophe

I AM working .... honest

[vifferman]

Yes it would because "stock" is both singular and plural ... and it gets more funner than that, how about ...
The farmer's daughter's nickers
The farmer's daughters' nickers
The farmers' daughter's nickers
The farmers' daughters' nickers

How about... NOT!
It's "knickers". :rolleyes:

[Grub]

How about... NOT!
It's "knickers". :rolleyes:

Oh shit ... grrr!

[Wolf]

How about... NOT!
It's "knickers". :rolleyes:
Unless he's referring to them making a noise like a horse :devil2:

</pedant>

[Hitcher]

Hey, let's all play "Horse"!

[idb]

Hey, let's all play "Horse"!

...or come up with a KB wave so that we can recognise each other on the road!!!

[Edbear]

Hey, let's all play "Horse"!

Horses are dangerous! People fall off them and hurt themselves...:(

[MisterD]

Horses are dangerous! People fall off them and hurt themselves...:(

Cool! Another excuse for a gear nazi thread!

[Grub]

Horses are dangerous! People fall off them and hurt themselves...:(

Apparently true! More people fall off horses than motorbikes - according to ACC stats

[Edbear]

Apparently true! More people fall off horses than motorbikes - according to ACC stats


Mmmm! I wonder if they include a higher ACC levy in horse registrations..?

[idb]

Apparently true! More people fall off horses than motorbikes - according to ACC stats

Ahhh, but do ACC endorse the widely held belief that one must immediately re-mount said horse after suffering a calamitous un-seating?

[scumdog]

Unless he's referring to them making a noise like a horse :devil2:

</pedant>


Or stealing stuff?:whistle:

[scumdog]

...or come up with a KB wave so that we can recognise each other on the road!!!

Groan.:pinch:....Dave!!

[MisterD]

Mmmm! I wonder if they include a higher ACC levy in horse registrations..?

Or perhaps restrict you to a shetland pony until you're over 17?

[Edbear]

Or perhaps restrict you to a shetland pony until you're over 17?


Good idea! Personally I got vertigo on anything over 15 hands. 17 hands is a big horse!

Just so we're still on topic, I'd say the grammar and punctuation in the last few posts, were pretty good...:rolleyes:

[MisterD]

Good idea! Personally I got vertigo on anything over 15 hands. 17 hands is a big horse!

Just so we're still on topic, I'd say the grammar and punctuation in the last few posts, were pretty good...:rolleyes:

Hmm, yes, perhaps I should have said, restrict you to an ass until...:shutup:

[Hitcher]

Although horses have pentadactyl limbs, they don't have hands, they have hooves.

[Hitcher]

Horses are dangerous! People fall off them and hurt themselves...

One can't get down off a horse. One can only get down off a duck or a goose.

[Edbear]

One can't get down off a horse. One can only get down off a duck or a goose.

That raises an interesting conundrum. If one can get up on a horse, why can't one get down off one? Does one have to first get up on a duck in order to get down off one?:confused:

[Hitcher]

No. That's the theory of evolution in action.

[MisterD]

No. That's the theory of duvetlution in action.

I'll get me coat.....

[Swoop]

Another one (http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/)for Hitcher!

[MSTRS]

Waddaya mean four Hitcher? Hes bin tellin yas that fore years

[Hitcher]

Hitcher is currently suffering in the USA, the land of the ass and the tire. And bad coffee.

[Ocean1]

I hear tell the suffering's to a higher standard thereabouts...

[TOTO]

Sorry , can someone enlighten me on what BDOTGNZA is an abreviation for ?

[Storm]

Brave Defenders Of The Great New Zealand Arse

Down with naff Americanisms and shoddy grammar!!!

[MSTRS]

...and not to be confused with BOTTY, founded by Ixion and who apparently give green stamps.

[Wolf]

...and not to be confused with BOTTY, founded by Ixion and who apparently give green stamps.
I never got any - probably because I was also a member of BDOTGNZA.

That's discrimination, that is. :oi-grr:

[MSTRS]

I never got any - probably because I was also a member of BDOTGNZA.

That's discrimination, that is. :oi-grr:

I agree. We need to obtain some of his Geen-O-Kleen and use that on the bastidges....

[007XX]

I agree. We need to obtain some of his Geen-O-Kleen and use that on the bastidges....

Got a water blaster we can spread the product with? They seem to be spreading faster than we can obliterate...

[Number One]

http://blogs.techrepublic.com.com/geekend/images/lolcat-attack.png

[Wolf]

Got a water blaster we can spread the product with? They seem to be spreading faster than we can obliterate...
I'm tempted to cross post some of the "toys" from the Firearms thread :devil2:

[007XX]

I'm tempted to cross post some of the "toys" from the Firearms thread :devil2:

Oh now, you're talking!!! :laugh: There are some very nice toys there....50 cal will do me nicely, thanks :devil2:

[Hitcher]

Having just been revived by a caring individual with a defibrillator, I will now share the cause of my coronary stricture -- part of an email that I was fortunate to receive this morning. It reads as follows:

hae jill/

I got an isea, mayb getting da 2 teamsta gt into a rectngles nd hv dem pass a rugby ball rwnd da rectngle nd wen a person passes da ball den u gta run arwnd da rectngle nd beat da ball bk 2 wea u strted frm......ne Q's den txt or email me..


OWT

[ManDownUnder]

Having just been revived by a caring individual with a defibrillator, I will now share the cause of my coronary stricture -- part of an email that I was fortunate to receive this morning. It reads as follows:

hae jill/

I got an isea, mayb getting da 2 teamsta gt into a rectngles nd hv dem pass a rugby ball rwnd da rectngle nd wen a person passes da ball den u gta run arwnd da rectngle nd beat da ball bk 2 wea u strted frm......ne Q's den txt or email me..


OWT

Hitch - I've been on KB a while and seen some highs and low. Never - NEVER - have I laughed and cried at the same time... till now...

Where's the emoticon for head splitting dissonance?

[Swoop]

I got an getting into a pass a rugby ball person passes ball run beat ball or email me.

If you take out the words that do not make any sense, the sentence is still a little "odd".:blink:

[Wolf]

bgs da qstn, do u run arwnd da inside ov da rectngle or da owtside ov da rectngle?

Seriously, the whole idea of written language is to convey information quickly and efficiently - which you can't do when you have to slow down and translate the random letters into "funetik" speech before you can understand them.

We read quickly because we process the whole word in one hit rather than as individual letters. This txt spk crap robs the words of their distinctive shapes by which we recognise them and forces us to process them letter-by-letter.

[idb]

....letter-by-letter.

d ya rly nd da hyfns?

[Big Dave]

I'm going back to using 80's and 90's though.

[Wolf]

d ya rly nd da hyfns?
probli nt...

..

[Hitcher]

Over a tequila last evening, the following ensured:

A frottager from Island Bay
Caught a bus on a hot summer's day
But his sad sick perversion
And a road works diversion
Meant he rubbed passengers up the wrong way.


Brother and I are on a mission to fill the gaps in the Deviant Limerick Catalogue...

[Her_C4]

Over a tequila last evening, the following ensured .....

Just the one tequila then Hitch?? :laugh::bleh:

[Hitcher]

Just the one tequila then Hitch?

One at a time.

[MSTRS]

One at a time.

To avoid ensuing drunken-ness?

[Ocean1]

One at a time.

H could try harder...

[MisterD]

Another useful resource stumbled upon around the blogs today:

The Eggcorn database (http://eggcorns.lascribe.net/browse-eggcorns/)

I'd never heard of the term 'eggcorn' before, but I certainly get that BDOTGNZA :bash: feeling whenever I hear people refer to "a damp squid".

[Toaster]

The BDOTGNZA grants exceptions for the legitimate use of Scots. And Erse.

"Scots. And Erse."?

I am no expert at grammar and as such seek to query use of the word "And" at the beginning of a sentence. Is this a correct use of the word?

[Hitcher]

but I certainly get that BDOTGNZA feeling whenever I hear people refer to "a damp squid".

Or those who "change tact". Sigh.

And starting a sentence with "and" or "but" is OK as long as it's not overdone. Apparently.

[MSTRS]

Or those who "change tact". Sigh.

And starting a sentence with "and" or "but" is OK as long as it's not overdone. Apparently.

Give us a brake. Now you'll be telling us it's ok to start a sentence with a preposition. Instead of "Take him down".

[Hitcher]

Have I got a deal for you. Oh hang on, that's a proposition...

[pete376403]

Give us a brake. Now you'll be telling us it's ok to start a sentence with a preposition. Instead of "Take him down".
Shouldn't that be "break"? Or are you trying to stop something?

[MSTRS]

Shouldn't that be "break"? Or are you trying to stop something?

Get with the program. This is KB, where nothing is necessarily what it seams...

[idb]

Get with the program. This is KB, where nothing is necessarily what it seams...

quiet rite!

[MSTRS]

quiet rite!

Now now...no need to guild the lily.

[Hitcher]

That's twice...

[Wolf]

Now now...no need to guild the lily.
Actually, there is - if one were to desire a golden lily, f'rinstance.

However,

To gild refined gold, to paint the lily,
To throw a perfume on the violet,
To smooth the ice, or add another hue
Unto the rainbow, or with taper-light
To seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish,
Is wasteful and ridiculous excess...

:devil2:

[Virago]

Shouldn't that be "break"? Or are you trying to stop something?

Normally high standards of grammar may be wavered...

[Trudes]

Bit of a thread dredge, but here's one for all the BDOTGNZA folks out there, especially Hitcher (Warning, probably not entirely work friendly!)
http://www.c4tv.co.nz/DICKS---May-18th/tabid/758/articleID/5035/cat/158/Default.aspx

[Pixie]

One can't get down off a horse. One can only get down off a duck or a goose.

Though,I did hear of someone helping their uncle Jack off a horse.

[Skyryder]

Though,I did hear of someone helping their uncle Jack off a horse.

(J)ack is a noun but in this context (j)ack becomes a verb.:doh:


Skyryder

[yod]

would HAVE!
could HAVE!
should HAVE!

:slap:

rant over

have a fucking magnificent day

[Wolf]

would HAVE!
could HAVE!
should HAVE!

:slap:
But you didn't? No wonder you're so upset...

:devil2:

[yod]

But you didn't? No wonder you're so upset...

:devil2:
I of! I of!

[MisterD]

Heh...via (http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/) a must read for grumpy expats...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Fy8WYyUoFEk/Sq-WUzGvZLI/AAAAAAAAAKI/bmx9UNmzXeg/s400/dunce.jpg