dasser
26th January 2007, 07:50
DRIVING IN AUCKLAND
1. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Auckland has its own
version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray! There is no such thing
as a dangerous high-speed chase in Auckland. Everyone drives like that.
2. When asking for directions, all directions start with,
"What do I look like - the fuckin' AA"
3. The morning rush hour is from 6am to 10am. The evening rush hour
is from 3pm to 7pm.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
Weekends are open game.
4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended,
cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the
starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going,
to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way and then again shot.
5. Construction and renovations on Queens St, Cook St, Wellesley St East and West is a way
of life and permanent form of entertainment(aim at the road crew).
6. All unexplained and unpleasant sights are simplified by the phrase,
"I guess we're not in Kansas anymore!"
7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
factory defect OR can be explained as they are out-of-towners.
8. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink 4WD have total
right-of-way.
9. The minimum acceptable speed on Queens St is 80 regardless of the posted
speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY.
10. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that
says "Keep honking, I'm reloading".
11. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 kph zone,
people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Auckland'. I
would suggest you duck.
12. The drive over the harbour bridge is our daily version of NASCAR.
Drive safe and enjoy your visit.
1. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Auckland has its own
version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray! There is no such thing
as a dangerous high-speed chase in Auckland. Everyone drives like that.
2. When asking for directions, all directions start with,
"What do I look like - the fuckin' AA"
3. The morning rush hour is from 6am to 10am. The evening rush hour
is from 3pm to 7pm.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
Weekends are open game.
4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended,
cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the
starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going,
to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way and then again shot.
5. Construction and renovations on Queens St, Cook St, Wellesley St East and West is a way
of life and permanent form of entertainment(aim at the road crew).
6. All unexplained and unpleasant sights are simplified by the phrase,
"I guess we're not in Kansas anymore!"
7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a
factory defect OR can be explained as they are out-of-towners.
8. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink 4WD have total
right-of-way.
9. The minimum acceptable speed on Queens St is 80 regardless of the posted
speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY.
10. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that
says "Keep honking, I'm reloading".
11. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 kph zone,
people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Auckland'. I
would suggest you duck.
12. The drive over the harbour bridge is our daily version of NASCAR.
Drive safe and enjoy your visit.