Riff Raff
5th February 2007, 08:17
Stumbled on this site yesterday and haven't laughed so much in ages (and WT damn near pissed himself).
www.motogpnews.com
Here's a preview if you need an incentive to check it out:
(31/01/2007)
Italian bike benders Ducati have proven that competent engineering and post-1992 computers mean nothing in MotoGP by amazingly securing four of the top five positions on the second day's test at Phillip Island.
"We showed them good" beamed a Ducati toilet inspector "Those Japs come over here with their laptop and metric spanners and then spout off about how they invented spaghetti. This is one in their noodle I can tell you!"
Making the result seem even more amazing than a 'Xaus seen with cracking bird' headline was the fact the fifth placed Duke was none other than Hofmann - a rider who until now seemed unlikely to finish fifth or better in a speedway race.
Bursting back into life for the second day running was Zombie Barros who brushed aside the rumours that yesterday's fastest time was down to a timing mishap involving 14 cans of Fosters and an unaligned boomerang. Barros, now estimated to be in his 400th season of re-living, improved on yesterday's time and was a third of a second, and a metre and a half, clear of Loris Capirossi in second.
Completing the Ducati podium was MotoGP's new clown of the gravel Casey Stoner.
The only small greasy spot on Ducati's tablecloth of success was the small greasy spot that is Dani 'lives in a boot' Pedrosa. Pedrosa, a rider lacking in height, smiles and personality, finished the day in fourth and was HRC's brightest star on yet another murky day.
Now if Suzuki's dream start ended yesterday then the start of their nightmares may well have begun today. Local haircut Vermin Vermeulen ended the day ninth of thirteen with his team-mate Hoppers, who was the star of Sepang, bringing up the arse end of the field even behind Shinya Tamada. Both Suzuki riders complained that their bike was a terrible colour.
www.motogpnews.com
Here's a preview if you need an incentive to check it out:
(31/01/2007)
Italian bike benders Ducati have proven that competent engineering and post-1992 computers mean nothing in MotoGP by amazingly securing four of the top five positions on the second day's test at Phillip Island.
"We showed them good" beamed a Ducati toilet inspector "Those Japs come over here with their laptop and metric spanners and then spout off about how they invented spaghetti. This is one in their noodle I can tell you!"
Making the result seem even more amazing than a 'Xaus seen with cracking bird' headline was the fact the fifth placed Duke was none other than Hofmann - a rider who until now seemed unlikely to finish fifth or better in a speedway race.
Bursting back into life for the second day running was Zombie Barros who brushed aside the rumours that yesterday's fastest time was down to a timing mishap involving 14 cans of Fosters and an unaligned boomerang. Barros, now estimated to be in his 400th season of re-living, improved on yesterday's time and was a third of a second, and a metre and a half, clear of Loris Capirossi in second.
Completing the Ducati podium was MotoGP's new clown of the gravel Casey Stoner.
The only small greasy spot on Ducati's tablecloth of success was the small greasy spot that is Dani 'lives in a boot' Pedrosa. Pedrosa, a rider lacking in height, smiles and personality, finished the day in fourth and was HRC's brightest star on yet another murky day.
Now if Suzuki's dream start ended yesterday then the start of their nightmares may well have begun today. Local haircut Vermin Vermeulen ended the day ninth of thirteen with his team-mate Hoppers, who was the star of Sepang, bringing up the arse end of the field even behind Shinya Tamada. Both Suzuki riders complained that their bike was a terrible colour.