Disco Dan
21st March 2007, 09:54
A competition was recently held to find out the most
embarrassing moments in people's lives. The following are the final
three...
Third Place
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living
at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed
after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I
suggested to my girlfriend that I give her piggyback ride to the
phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get
dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly
came on and a whole crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE!". My entire
family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends
were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot
in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
eternity.
Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party
again.
Second Place
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving
herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in
the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let
me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy's Pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I
mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard, as the door closed
behind me was the screams of laughter.
And the Winner Is.....
This one actually happened at Harvard University in October
last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the
high glucose levels found in semen.
A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If I
understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male
semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct," responded the professor, going on
to add much statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet
young thing asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?". After a stunned
silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned
bright red and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said
(or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and
walked out of the class. However, as she was going out of the door, the
professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight-faced, he
answered her question, "It doesn't, taste sweet because the
taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back
of your throat!
embarrassing moments in people's lives. The following are the final
three...
Third Place
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living
at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed
after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I
suggested to my girlfriend that I give her piggyback ride to the
phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get
dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly
came on and a whole crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE!". My entire
family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends
were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot
in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
eternity.
Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party
again.
Second Place
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally
able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving
herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in
the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let
me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy's Pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I
mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard, as the door closed
behind me was the screams of laughter.
And the Winner Is.....
This one actually happened at Harvard University in October
last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the
high glucose levels found in semen.
A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If I
understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male
semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct," responded the professor, going on
to add much statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet
young thing asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?". After a stunned
silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned
bright red and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said
(or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and
walked out of the class. However, as she was going out of the door, the
professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight-faced, he
answered her question, "It doesn't, taste sweet because the
taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back
of your throat!