Vasectomy...The Musical!

[Krayy]

And now, the end is near,
It's time to face the final curtain...
We've had 2 gorgeous kids,
Don't want no more, of that I'm certain...

Both girls, are way too cute,
Sometimes bad, not in a shy way...
And so I think, the time has come,
To cut the Vas-way...:sick:


If you hear a cowed wimpering sound coming (pun) from around BEach Rd at 6pm tomorrow night, you'll now know what it is. Think I'll have to start off at the pub to give the boys a send-off :bye:

Wish me luck people, but sorry to say that I I'll be going to the clinic in a cage, not on a motorbike :shit:

[Sniper]

All the best. As long as you believe you are a real man when its over, you should be OK.



PT

[Swoop]

MDU will shortly be along to give advice and support...

Sure you don't want to ride there? Parking would be far easier... :whistle:

[Krayy]

MDU will shortly be along to give advice and support...

Sure you don't want to ride there? Parking would be far easier... :whistle:
A word to the wise....

Never ride a bike when you have a haemorroid!! It F**KING HURTS!!

Nuff said.

[jrandom]

Good man. Had mine done late last year. Worth every moment of discomfort.

Yes, it does hurt. Your bollocks will swell up like a pair of purple grapefruit for a few days, and there will be twinges and aches for up to several weeks.

I assume you're getting it done with the 'no scalpel' technique? The worst part of the procedure itself is the mashing around the surgeon does to get hold of the tubes and put bulldog clips on them before injecting any local. I was gritting my teeth in a cold sweat by the time that needle finally went in.

Still... I'd happily go back and do it all over again. It's absolutely the best contraceptive option.

[jrandom]

All the best. As long as you believe you are a real man when its over...

ROFL.

You just reminded me of what a rather young and inexperienced colleague asked me after learning that I'd had the snip.

[sotto voce] "So... do you still, you know... squirt?"

[MSTRS]

Wish me luck people, but sorry to say that I'll be going to the clinic in a cage, not on a motorbike

Good luck mate. A week or two down the track, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

[Sniper]

ROFL.

You just reminded me of what a rather young and inexperienced colleague asked me after learning that I'd had the snip.

[sotto voce] "So... do you still, you know... squirt?"

PMSL. Did he actually ask that?

Yup, Im not letting nobody near there if its not for pleasure. Only women in that case

[jrandom]

PMSL. Did he actually ask that?

Word for word.

[Sniper]

Word for word.

He would have to be very young and Neive, or like cars with big exhausts that made PSSSSHHHHHTTTT sounds.

Or someone who was just curious and was wanting to furthur his knowledge iin life.

[Macktheknife]

So tomorrow you will be a 'just juice man' huh?
A mate of mine had the surgical option and was back at work 3 hours later, mind you he was walking a bit funny.

[MotoGirl]

It's absolutely the best contraceptive option.

Shame it isn't a practical option for people who haven't had kids. :buggerd: It'd be nice while you're trying to avoid having kids, yet still have the flexibility to have them when you're ready!

On the upside, at least you "make the cut" when it comes to contraception :shutup:

[Indiana_Jones]

I don't get this whole BS thing about "you're not a man anymore" etc lol, where did I cum from........get it? cum! :D

-Indy

[ManDownUnder]

MDU will shortly be along to give advice and support...

Sure you don't want to ride there? Parking would be far easier... :whistle:


LOL bling!

I've said enough on the subject already. Good onya dude!

[Storm]

Shame it isn't a practical option for people who haven't had kids. :buggerd: It'd be nice while you're trying to avoid having kids, yet still have the flexibility to have them when you're ready!

On the upside, at least you "make the cut" when it comes to contraception :shutup:

Make sure the doc does it right- my wifes uncle had two kids, got chopped- had one more- had it looked at- had another !!!
Maybe he'd just the one in a million?

[jrandom]

Shame it isn't a practical option for people who haven't had kids.

Well... a cousin of mine has four kids, two of whom he wouldn't have had if his vasectomy hadn't been successfully reversed.

Mind you, the reversal surgery's a bit on the expensive side at around $5,000, compared to the snip procedure at $400.

Then again, one can always bank some pre-op live loads for a rainy day.


On the upside, at least you "make the cut" when it comes to contraception :shutup:

Boom, tish.

But, indeed. I'm not a fan of the Pill for girls. That shit can't be good for you.

I recall the surgeon who did my op (Family Planning Association clinic in Newmarket - highly recommended) commenting at the time that if the procedure was made freely available to all male high-school students on their 16th birthday, the national birthrate would probably drop straight to zero within a couple of decades...

[jrandom]

He would have to be very young and Neive or like cars with big exhausts that made PSSSSHHHHHTTTT sounds.

He drives a Trueno.

'nuff said.


Or someone who was just curious and was wanting to furthur his knowledge iin life.

That is what Google and Wikipedia are for.

[MotoGirl]

Mind you, the reversal surgery's a bit on the expensive side at around $5,000, compared to the snip procedure at $400.
Yep, and that's if it's even reversed successfully! I know people who wanted kids and but couldn't because the reversal didn't work. Not a risk most people would take if they've never had kids.


But, indeed. I'm not a fan of the Pill for girls. That shit can't be good for you.
That's one perspective - the other is that it's a pain in the arse :brick:
I don't like being 100 percent responsible of managing the contraception in the relationship. That would make it my fault if I ever wound up to be that 1 or 2 percent where it doesn't work :doh:

[pzkpfw]

Do not, I repeat, do not, make 16 sacks of builders mix worth of concrete just two weeks after the operation.

If you do, and you "swell", do not, I repeat, do not, then fly to Oz. just a week after that.

First, they make you pay excess backage.

Secondly, sitting on it for a three hour flight is no fun.

Thirdly, it makes the roller-coasters on the gold-coast a bit less fun.


Other than that, good on you. Yay us Kiwi blokes who do this more than any other nation (I think I read that).

[mikey62]

Had mine done a couple years ago by this [U]old[U] chinese doc out in Papakura. No pain no swelling. Showed me the bits that he cut out. Most un-nerving time was when I got out and was told we would have to hang around for a while due to an armed defenders alert. They had closed Papakura down and I had thoughts of some guy in black pajama's coming into the doc's surgery saying we were being evacuated while the doc had me nuts open. LOL

[jrandom]

Yep, and that's if it's even reversed successfully! I know people who wanted kids and but couldn't because the reversal didn't work. Not a risk most people would take if they've never had kids.

I know. Then again, the number of people I talk to who rant on about how they never want kids...

Wankers. Someone's got to propagate the species. I spit upon all carefree childless types. Fuck them, the horse they rode in on, and the Audis and MV Agustas they can afford due to not having to pay for a 4-bedroom house on a large section.


I don't like being 100 percent responsible of managing the contraception in the relationship. That would make it my fault if I ever wound up to be that 1 or 2 percent where it doesn't work

Speaking as the father of one Planned and one Oops, born 363 days apart, I just gotta say... contraception is everybody's responsibility. If a guy can't remember to remind you to take the pill at the set daily time and go fetch it with a glass of water, how does he expect you to achieve the same?

Anyway, the very real fear of 18 years of child support payments should motivate any guy to put his own effort into implementing foolproof logistics in that area.

Personally, if I hadn't gotten married and had kids young, and was still playing the field... I'd probably just get snipped anyway. The hassle and potential inability to breed later on is nothing compared to the pain and expense of an unwanted pregnancy with some chick you'll never want to stay with.

[jrandom]

Showed me the bits that he cut out.

Same here! It's kind of weird, isn't it?

The most un-nerving bit for me was the smell when the doc cauterised the tube ends.

[MikeyG]

[sotto voce] "So... do you still, you know... squirt?"

Sounds like something I'd say. After she had her colon removed and a colostomy bag attached I asked my Nana if she could still fart or if her bumhole was sewn shut.

Nana laughed but my mother was not impressed.

[Joni]

Good man. Had mine done late last year. Worth every moment of discomfort. On a scale of 1 to 10... how painfull is it?

I am genuinely interested.

BTW - Good luck Krayy, sorry if this is the wrong time for me to ask this question... :mellow:

[jrandom]

On a scale of 1 to 10... how painfull is it?

Hard to say. I haven't ever had a really nasty injury to compare it to. I've never even broken a bone. From second-hand observation, if I compared to, say, what appeared to be going on while Number One Son was being born at 11lb 3oz, it wouldn't even register on the scale.

In terms of what it was about the same as? About the same as a low-speed highside where I landed on my knees and had trouble walking for a couple of days afterwards.

Not something you'd want to do just for fun, but hardly in the same league as breaking a femur or getting shot in the gut.

Heck, I even managed (purely in the interests of science, of course) to 'perform' later the same day.

[Laava]

I'm afraid your son has the knack
I also have the Knack. M M M My Sharona....etc. Ever see that Cheech and Chong movie where they were driving along stoned [well duh] and Cheech is singing 'M M M My scrotum!' Just while we were on the subject:yes:

[Oakie]

Been there, done that. Honestly, a trip to the dentist is worse (as long as you can get over the mental thing of some other guy holding your wedding tackle). The doc attached me to something to monitor my pulse and it hardly rose during the process.
Hint: ... don't ride a bike for a day or so.

If you want a laugh you can read my report on my op here at my homepage http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/oakdenz/ Just below the photos of the x-rays in the section entitled 'A disconnection'

[Krayy]

Hard to say. I haven't ever had a really nasty injury to compare it to. I've never even broken a bone. From second-hand observation, if I compared to, say, what appeared to be going on while Number One Son was being born at 11lb 3oz, it wouldn't even register on the scale.

In terms of what it was about the same as? About the same as a low-speed highside where I landed on my knees and had trouble walking for a couple of days afterwards.

Not something you'd want to do just for fun, but hardly in the same league as breaking a femur or getting shot in the gut.

Heck, I even managed (purely in the interests of science, of course) to 'perform' later the same day.
I think I'm gonna be sick :sick:

I'll take a shot in the gut thanks :yes: (chicks dig scars)

[Krayy]

Been there, done that. Honestly, a trip to the dentist is worse (as long as you can get over the mental thing of some other guy holding your wedding tackle). The doc attached me to something to monitor my pulse and it hardly rose during the process.
Hint: ... don't ride a bike for a day or so.

If you want a laugh you can read my report on my op here at my homepage http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/oakdenz/ Just below the photos of the x-rays in the section entitled 'A disconnection'
Now thats some funny writing.

Wonder if I should get a PA while I'm there?

[mstriumph]

Make sure the doc does it right- my wifes uncle had two kids, got chopped- had one more- had it looked at- had another !!!
Maybe he'd just the one in a million?

WOW!!! just THINK of the compensation claim??? :shutup:

[MSTRS]

WOW!!! just THINK of the compensation claim???

Excuse me? This is NZ we're talking here isn't it? The land of horny policemen and doctors who are impossible to sue.

[jrandom]

... doctors who are impossible to sue.

Not quite (http://www.nzherald.co.nz/category/story.cfm?c_id=204&ObjectID=10369299).

[mstriumph]

.... hmmmm - you lot who are off for the 'stitch in time' that will [hopefully] 'save nine' please note the bit in that article that says
Two clear sperm counts, commonly at four and six weeks after the vasectomy, are required before unprotected intercourse. :yes:

[jrandom]

please note the bit in that article...

My surgeon told me "Get the first test done after one month, or 20 ejaculations, whichever comes [sic] first".

Boom, tish.

I left it a bit longer than 20, though. I felt kind of embarrassed about going back for a test the same week.

[Joni]

I left it a bit longer than 20, though. I felt kind of embarrassed about going back for a test the same week.Wah wah wah Mr Fish, we all know you are a stud, no need to rub it in :rolleyes:

[mstriumph]

Boom, tish.
good grief :slap:........ there's always ONE, isn't there ...........

[jrandom]

we all know you are a stud...

Oh, I dunno, I just figure maybe the word hasn't got around certain quarters yet.


no need to rub it...

Au contraire, in this case, anyway.

[bull]

its not too bad pain wise and the drugs they give you felt great - had to take 2 little pills before arriving and was on a high for a few hrs after the op.

Mine kind of played out like a joke tho, my partners doctor said that because we were low economic(just had third child and i had been off work as house dad) that i would qualify for a FREE VASECTOMY. Straight away it seemed dodgy to me, but it was as easy option and i was goign to take it for the team. Queue Tall Croatian doctor, who turns out to be my family doctor when i was a child - he talks to me about it and says the obligatory "are you sure you want to do this?, what if things dont work out with your current partner and you meet some hot blonde 18yr old who wants to have kids"(verbatim) After careful consideration i said yes. So appointment booked and in i go off my face from the drugs, yanks the hell out of my nuts feeling for the vas does the bizo then im off on my way home - KFC for that happy feeling to make up for the op. Do the test loads and drop them in to the lab for approval. Results come back - It failed, still live swimmers. so now im the guy who went and let the Croatian fella fondle me and bruise me up all for nothing, thats what you get for taking the free option thinks me. Phone call from Doctor "you are the 2nd failiure ive had in 6yrs and i hate failing so we are gonna go again OK?" wasnt really a question he was telling me. so in for second time and he did the damage and i asked "so did you get it this time?" he looked at me with cold dead eyes and said "if it doesnt work this time then thats it" thats it... like hell it better bloody work, youre not copping a feel twice mate for no result(i thought this, funnily enough didnt have the balls to say it whilst hes got me by the nads). So test samples go to lab and YAY i passed.

So now when people ask - i remind them that im so manly that it took two times to stop me, then followed by my partner telling all that i let him fondle me the first time for free and that i was a clown when on the drugs(gee they make a trip to do shopping a blast).

Was safer for me to do vasectomy than for partner to have tubes tied so that was the main selling point - oh and did i mention it was FREE.

[Hawkeye]

The worst part of the procedure itself is the mashing around the surgeon does to get hold of the tubes and put bulldog clips on them before injecting any local.



Far too much info there mate....:sweatdrop

[Krayy]

Snip (har-de-har)...my partner telling all that i let him fondle me the first time for free...
If the bloke takes my boys in his hand and says "Niiiiice", then I'm outta there!!! :gob:

[jrandom]

If the bloke takes my boys in his hand and says "Niiiiice", then I'm outta there!!!

Hah. Luxury.

I had to put up with a grandmotherly nurse-lady sitting at the desk beside the operating table, chatting away with the surgeon on various related and unrelated topics as he hacked away.

[Krayy]

Hah. Luxury.

I had to put up with a grandmotherly nurse-lady sitting at the desk beside the operating table, chatting away with the surgeon on various related and unrelated topics as he hacked away.

With my luck, the grandmotherly nurse might have to kiss it better at the end :sick:

[MyGSXF]

Good luck there fella!! :Punk: definately a better option than the missus having to have full on surgery!!!!! :yes:

[judecatmad]

the other is that it's a pain in the arse

That, of course, is one of the other fairly reliable forms of contraception...LOL! :buggerd:

:shit:

[Krayy]

:done:

The op itself was not as bad as I had worked myself up to believe. Bit of discomfort, but not as bad as the last filling I had.

The recovery over the weekend was quite uncomfortable at times, and the "boys" have taken up body-building so are a little larger and more tender than usual, but that's to be expected, so I'm told.

Could have done with more pampering and ice-cream from her indoors though :yes:

[kro]

There's a strict code of conduct to follow, for doctors doing vasectomies, if they slip, they get the sack.

[Ronin]

Heck, I even managed (purely in the interests of science, of course) to 'perform' later the same day.

Thank God I'm not the only one that tried that :innocent: