Shit, shit and more shit

[NotaGoth]

Perfect way to explain my life.. "shit shit and more shit"

Anyone ever gone through that stage..???

The past 2 and a half years I've had nothing but a struggle.. One thing after another... It starts to wear a bit thin...

From losing a parent (something that I have never been able to get over) to smaller things.. It just doesn't end..

Is it that bad things happen to bad people???????????

If I'm such a bad person what should I do????? How do you figure out exactly what life is trying to tell you so you can fix the wrong??????

Everytime things seem to be looking up I seem to get yet another kick in the teeth...

Everyone and everything just love getting the boot in while I'm trying to get up again...

Its getting to the point my relationships failing.. I feel like nothing but a burden on my partner.... And I know deep down that he is to good for me, and far better off without me..

Anyone else here been through that stage of their life and can offer any advice it would be appreciated...

[BIGBOSSMAN]

Hang in there girl, life isn't all about fairness - but things will get better for sure. 1 terrible divorce and 1 life threatening bike accident on, and things have never been better for me. You'll turn the corner soon enough, I promise ya...:yes:

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

If it's any consolation I have had 11 years of that. Bad things happen to GOOD people. I so relate to your line of thinking. My self hatred was phenomenal. PM sent.

[Scorpygirl]

Yeah Kittie, hang in there. At times life just seems to throw things at you to challenge you. As they say "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Just keep believing in yourself, even if it is hard at the moment. You are a lovely person!!!! :hug:

[Swoop]

Yup. This year has been "bend Swoop over and fuck him" year.
Try and do some folks a favour and see where it get's ya. Monday was the threat of having the cops called in after saving a company owner from having to close his doors.

Tough it out girl. Shit happens and then the good times roll around!:sunny:

[Panther]

Hang in there XxKiTtiExX, try and see the glass half full, even if it seems like there is nothing positive happening. I don't know when but I'm syre things will start to turn around for the better for you.

[Grahameeboy]

Hey Kitty, despite my Faith I have had some shit the last 2 years so shit happens to God people as well as Good people, however, I know it is hard and you may have to dig deep, but there is a reason for all this shit and putting aside my beliefs, things happen for a reason, although the reasons will not seem clear now but you will be stronger at the end...just don't expect the end to happen when you want it.

[MD]

I had a look at your profile. If you want to be cheered up have a look at what I saw; an attractive woman and only 20 years old. Two fantastic ingredients for a good life. Many would give their right arm to be young and pretty, so please make the most of it...youth is wasted on the young as they say.
A friend who was popular in my high school days once said that, he acted happy and was always smiling because people gravitated towards his company - self fulfilling prophesy so to speak, but it worked. Cancer took him at 40 just after his first child arrived. Life is too short to waste being unhappy!
What I'm trying to say is smile and cheer up Kittie.

[justsomeguy]

Being a cold, heartless chap helps, otherwise.... can't really offer any real advise. I love the lyrics of the Sunscreen song though. Puts things in perspective.
---------------------------------------

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.

[Mom]

There have been times in my life when all I got dished out was shit mate!...death, divorce, illness, bills etc.......all at once it felt like. I used to start each day with a bright cheery "good morning day" if I was asked how things were I always said......"fantastic!" with a big smile. I used to say, I am strong! bring it on! I ended everyday with thanks for something. Sometimes it would just be the nice food I had eaten, because I could not remember anything else that had been good. Faking it till you make it was my catch cry.

Best of luck with everything mate! Sometimes life can feel like a bunch of shit I know, but there is always something brighter up ahead!

[kiwifruit]

Life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!

[Mr. Peanut]

You seem to be dragging a lot of the past and the future up, why? The future isn't real, it's just something your mind made up, and the past is gone.

Look around you, there's nothing wrong right now is there? I mean right now, the present.

And get some sleep.

[Mully]

Life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow!
Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow!

I'd continue the song, but I don't know how to type whistle noises.

Kit, chin up mate. Life's a Bitch. Don't let it wear you down.

Cheers,
Mully

[NotaGoth]

I know so many people say things happen for a reason.. I've seen that myself in two situations that have brought me down...
Both times I have realized my mistake and tried to better myself as a person.. I also changed my lifestyle so that similar experiences don't happen again.. Yet something else is always thrown my way..

How can you take control of a situation where you want and desperately need someone out of your life.. Yet they keep throwing the "do you think anyones gonna believe your story" back in your face..???? Playing off their looked up to role in the local community... leaving you looking like shit..? I've already learnt my lesson well, and know when following the right steps I can't get the help that I need to sort this on going issue... This person is obviously right.. And i can't find a simple solution when it comes to making this problem go away..

Its amazing how people who work the hardest in life always seem to struggle the most to make ends meet, or they always have shit slung their direction... I've watched people who haven't worked a day in their life.. yet they manage to own vehicles.. And houses.. Yet others work hard, struggle, lose everything and have to start all over again... I just can't understand it...

It sometimes make me wonder why I bother working so hard.. It feels like a waste..

I don't want to end up putting up a wall and desensatising (doesn't know if thats the correct word).. I know I've got a heart there.. Maybe I just need to move back to mums fully... Give work a miss.. And spend some time sorting out everything thats goin on.. Find the part of me thats missing.. I'm not sure..

[kevfromcoro]

VERY good post..JCG..Some true words spoken there..going back to read it again...slowly

[NotaGoth]

You seem to be dragging a lot of the past and the future up, why? The future isn't real, it's just something your mind made up, and the past is gone.

Look around you, there's nothing wrong right now is there? I mean right now, the present.

And get some sleep.

Its something from the past that keeps kicking me in the teeth.. I can't fix it.. I've tried..

[kevfromcoro]

Its something from the past that keeps kicking me in the teeth.. I can't fix it.. I've tried..

of course u will.fix it..it takes time....without knowing it..you have a lot of friends here that are going to support u.take 2 KBs and a glass of water...iam sure your life will change for the better soon...Positive thinking

[NotaGoth]

How long do phone companies keep hold of phone records??? Conversations and all..? And are you able to simple request copies?

[Ruralman]

Shit happens - I don't believe it happens for a reason, it just happens. The big difference between people is in their attitude to the things that happen and how they choose to react.
People warm to and want to help someone who is trying and keeps a positive attitude. The negative wingers all gather together and wallow in their own problems and will never change themselves until they change their attitude.

The future is first created in your mind and then in reality - if you don't think about a realistic plan for the future you want, then you will waste time extending the present that you are in.

You can change and deal with the problems you have - but take responsibility for it yourself rather than blaming others and relying on others. There will be changes you can make that will make a difference.

[oldrider]

Perfect way to explain my life.. "shit shit and more shit"

Anyone ever gone through that stage..???

The past 2 and a half years I've had nothing but a struggle.. One thing after another... It starts to wear a bit thin...

From losing a parent (something that I have never been able to get over) to smaller things.. It just doesn't end..

Is it that bad things happen to bad people???????????

If I'm such a bad person what should I do????? How do you figure out exactly what life is trying to tell you so you can fix the wrong??????

Everytime things seem to be looking up I seem to get yet another kick in the teeth...

Everyone and everything just love getting the boot in while I'm trying to get up again...

Its getting to the point my relationships failing.. I feel like nothing but a burden on my partner.... And I know deep down that he is to good for me, and far better off without me..

Anyone else here been through that stage of their life and can offer any advice it would be appreciated...

When you look at the new day in the morning, only you can decide whether it is good or bad, it's an individual conclusion!

We have been married 43 years in what some might say is a perfect marriage but we could write your story above a thousand times over, it's called life!

There are good times and bad times, you just have to work out what you want out of life and then work even harder at making it happen!

What you think about, will happen, so be careful what you let your mind dwell on, let loose it will play tricks on you, so stay in control.

No one ever said it would be easy but you have to make it good management rather than just good luck.

Here's good luck from us anyway. :yes: Cheers John.

[RantyDave]

youth is wasted on the young as they say.
Or is it that experience is wasted on the old? I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that it is the responsibility of us grey haired old gits (35 in my case) to pass on pithy insights that are valuable, short, and tested to destruction in our own lives. Sadly, the best I can come up with is an "Onion" article I've been thinking about for three days straight because it's true:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27698

But....

Bad things don't happen to bad people, the world would be a better place if they did. Some bad things just happen, and some are caused by arseholes. You just need to get away from them, I'm afraid. And I know it's not easy.

Kitty ... you're twenty ... you won't believe how many cool things are going to happen. You're on the crest of a great part of your life. Some of the shit you need to push through, some you need to get away from and some will pass of it's own accord. But you do need to keep rolling the dice - concentrate on living and give things a try even though they might go wrong. It's the key to a happy and fulfilling life, I'm sure of it.

Dave

[RantyDave]

How long do phone companies keep hold of phone records??? Conversations and all..? And are you able to simple request copies?
Damn nearly forever. They don't know the contents of the conversation, unless you're being bugged and then they're unlikely to admit to it. You can get repeat bills but I would have thought the limit on this was about three months. Anything more and you'd need to extract them through some legal requirement.

Dave

[NotaGoth]

You can change and deal with the problems you have - but take responsibility for it yourself rather than blaming others and relying on others. There will be changes you can make that will make a difference.

The one major major issue.. I don't just blame someone else.. I also blame myself for letting things end up how they have..

Don't get me wrong.. I do take responsibilty... I work extremely hard compaired to most people my age.. Have done since I was 15.. I don't rely on others to fix my mistakes.. As mentioned, sometimes it just starts to wear you down..

I don't feel that it is whinging.. To me its opening up, and asking for advice which I have recieved ALOT and there has been a fair few things mentioned that I will now work on.. Things that I haven't thought about myself, and also things that I did think about but pushed into the back of my mind.. Why be ashamed in being honest?Fact is when you feel you need to ask for opinions or help, it is okay to do so.. Its nice to get advice from people who have had more experience in life than myself.. In my eyes, I'm still a child.. Everyday is a learning curve for me..

Advice can help you take huge steps forward... Instead of baby steps..

[Ruralman]

The one major major issue.. I don't just blame someone else.. I also blame myself for letting things end up how they have..

Don't get me wrong.. I do take responsibilty... I work extremely hard compaired to most people my age.. Have done since I was 15.. I don't rely on others to fix my mistakes.. As mentioned, sometimes it just starts to wear you down..

I don't feel that it is whinging.. To me its opening up, and asking for advice which I have recieved ALOT and there has been a fair few things mentioned that I will now work on.. Things that I haven't thought about myself, and also things that I did think about but pushed into the back of my mind.. Why be ashamed in being honest?Fact is when you feel you need to ask for opinions or help, it is okay to do so.. Its nice to get advice from people who have had more experience in life than myself.. In my eyes, I'm still a child.. Everyday is a learning curve for me..

Advice can help you take huge steps forward... Instead of baby steps..

Well good on you - but don't waste time on the blame thing either. The key thing is looking ahead and talking with people who can help you create a better future. As others have said in different ways you have to create that future every day and make choices about how you are going to react to the shit. It does sound like you've got a toughie to deal with and if so you need friends who can help you see a better future and create a path to it.
For the record I wasn't suggesting you were winging OK - just keep away from negative people

[RantyDave]

make a decision.

get mullered
Ping! Is the correct answer!

Dave

[Blondini]

Bad things happen to good people all the time :yes:The more you try to do the right thing then the harder it becomes:yes:Thats when you know you are on the right track.. keep doing good it is harder but more rewards:love:Life is not fair or we would be on fantasy island:yes:Life is short but is just getting us ready for the eternal stuff.If you are going through struggles then let it make you stronger and someone with a good character:love::shutup:Loves:Punk:

[Blondini]

Its something from the past that keeps kicking me in the teeth.. I can't fix it.. I've tried..

just let it go ..........:yes:It will wear you and only you down

[chanceyy]

every day when you wake up you have two choices .. you can look forward to the day & the lifes lessons its going to teach you .. or you can think of the past & drag that into your day

its called living postively or negatively ..

we all go through high stress periods .. I know how that feels at the mo .. but apart from giving into the stress for a week or so I still asked myself what is the lesson this is teaching me .. & I try to turn it into a positive .. no its not always easy & only those close to me will know when I am going through it ...



certainly something worth reading is "the secret: its so old its new again ..

[skelstar]

I can't read all of this good advice but all I can say is that you can't do alot about the bad stuff thats out of your control. You can't be down on yourself for that stuff eh. Hope you feel better soon Kittie.

[jafar]

Perfect way to explain my life.. "shit shit and more shit"

Anyone ever gone through that stage..???

The past 2 and a half years I've had nothing but a struggle.. One thing after another... It starts to wear a bit thin...

From losing a parent (something that I have never been able to get over) to smaller things.. It just doesn't end..

Is it that bad things happen to bad people???????????

If I'm such a bad person what should I do????? How do you figure out exactly what life is trying to tell you so you can fix the wrong??????

Everytime things seem to be looking up I seem to get yet another kick in the teeth...

Everyone and everything just love getting the boot in while I'm trying to get up again...

Its getting to the point my relationships failing.. I feel like nothing but a burden on my partner.... And I know deep down that he is to good for me, and far better off without me..

Anyone else here been through that stage of their life and can offer any advice it would be appreciated...

Wow have you got it bad, give some details & mabey we can help:yes:

Quote for the day:
If @ first you don't succeed ....... skydiving isn't for you :dodge:

[Timber020]

Your bike is made up of about 1,000 individual parts which all must work for it to do what its supposed to.

When your bike breaks or isnt working and has let you down, its only one or two parts that have failed, and although its less than .1% of it, its only that part or parts that you focus on, not the 99.99% thats still going well. If that part fails a few times, its enough to make you want to get rid of the whole bike.

Little parts, little stuff, lots off little stuff. And thats all it is, its just hard to see past it. Instead of throwing it aside we carry it above our heads and it weighs you down where ever you go.

Keep on trucking mate, life at times might suck but it beats the hell out of all the alternatives

[Apollo]

You remind me alot of my ex-girlfriend, in more ways than one(looks and personality) I had to take another look at your profile to make sure it wasn't!

My ex was and still is going through situations similar to you
She was abusing her body
She was having a very hard time with relationships, past and present.
She was having a hard time at her house(bieng kicked out and having to stay with friends)
She's even attempted suicide
She was on the verge of bieng fired

She was getting involved in gang's( to try and get a different family I presume)
She felt like the whole world was against her( sometimes even I thought it was!) She's had a hard life since she was young( sexually abused by a member of her family) She went to councillers, they didn't help.
Then I went out with her as we had been friends for along time and i liked her. I thought I would be the hero that saves her from her miserable life, to help her. But I was wrong I ended up getting frustrated with her( and i'll admit that I hurt her( emotionally) a far few times. So you see you can't depend on everbody, sometimes not even your family:gob: even though they love you. I'm sorry to say theirs no happy ending to her story, she's still going through hardship.

She thought no one loved her and hated her looks but she was soo wrong she was beautiful and lots of people loved her. But she always looked on the negative side of life she didn't want help from people she just wanted them to pity her and that's why I think she still struggles.

So what I'm trying to say I guess ( and I'm deffinatly no expert) is that life throws shit at everyone but some...more than others...I know it may seem like it's never going to end this pain and hardship but it WILL just look on the positive side of life, we all have dark days,weeks and months but they end as does life so live it to the fullest.
Also I found something that helps and thats to channel your emotions and energy into something like a hobby or sport ( I Chose Motorbike :yes: and I love it)

I know that probably didn't help, but cheer up better things are ahead in life:Punk:

[DUCATI*HARD]

every day when you wake up you have two choices .. you can look forward to the day & the lifes lessons its going to teach you .. or you can think of the past & drag that into your day

its called living postively or negatively ..

we all go through high stress periods .. I know how that feels at the mo .. but apart from giving into the stress for a week or so I still asked myself what is the lesson this is teaching me .. & I try to turn it into a positive .. no its not always easy & only those close to me will know when I am going through it ...



certainly something worth reading is "the secret: its so old its new again ..




read "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne.

[peasea]

Perfect way to explain my life.. "shit shit and more shit"

Anyone ever gone through that stage..???

The past 2 and a half years I've had nothing but a struggle.. One thing after another... It starts to wear a bit thin...

From losing a parent (something that I have never been able to get over) to smaller things.. It just doesn't end..

Is it that bad things happen to bad people???????????

If I'm such a bad person what should I do????? How do you figure out exactly what life is trying to tell you so you can fix the wrong??????

Everytime things seem to be looking up I seem to get yet another kick in the teeth...

Everyone and everything just love getting the boot in while I'm trying to get up again...

Its getting to the point my relationships failing.. I feel like nothing but a burden on my partner.... And I know deep down that he is to good for me, and far better off without me..

Anyone else here been through that stage of their life and can offer any advice it would be appreciated...

Errrrryup.

I had my own business from 1989-98. It wasn't easy sometimes and there were days when everything would go wrong, everyone was on my case, I had to work Sundays to keep up, didn't have a Chrissy holiday for five years and was often so broke we used deposits on work to pay domestic bills. That wasn't so smart, but it kept my family fed. It all got turned around and through dogged determination and hard work I managed to sell up a viable business, no bad debts, some cash in hand and some cool holidays were paid for through it, fond memories that'll last a lifetime.

Don't ever give up. If you need a book to inspire you I've got one, it's called 'Life is so good'. In fact, the book is so good it's out on loan at the mo, but you're more than welcome to it when it comes back. After reading it, you'll never think you're having the world's worst day, ever again.

Also, property magnate Bob Jones once said "If you don't like your circumstances...change them." I didn't like my life in '01, now I love it. Nobody but me changed things.

You can change your life and make it what you want, but you're at the helm, nobody else. I have no idea who you are, where you're from or what your circumstances are but I'll say this; there are a lot of good people in this world who WILL help out if you hit the skids, I don't doubt you'll fine some on KB, but the first person who needs to help you is you.

I'm betting you're an onto-it person with some get-up-and-go and this 'down' part of your life won't last. Mine didn't, I was determined to beat the blues. Now the blues are something I play on the sound system and I can relate to them with so much more depth of understanding.

Go for it; change your space, make it positive. If you're really stuck though, re-post your predicament and some KB'ers will pick up on it.

Good luck...

...and don't forget that book, I am happy to loan it to you.

[janno]

What you focus on comes to pass, whether it's good or bad.

When things are going really wrong for me, I allow myself a five or ten minute pity party for sanity's sake, when I absolutely wallow and whine and cry - but that's it!

No more after that time limit is up. You've got to get on. If things are really insurmountable at the moment, getting on might mean you arrange to see a counsellor to help you through things.

If you are not a reader, the DVD of the Secret is fun to watch. It's nothing new really, but it's presented in an inspiring and engaging way and will make you want to take charge of your life again.

The more you feel devastated by what someone has done to you, the more they win, over and over and over . . . imagine the satisfaction they might get out of knowing they are nearly destroying you. Don't give it to them any more! And keep working, I don't see how not working is going to help anything. Perhaps you need to explore a new career if your job at the moment is not the best.

And to be blunt, as long as you have good physical health you are in control and are capable of changing your life. Don't lose sight of that.

[peasea]

[QUOTE=janno;1132438

The more you feel devastated by what someone has done to you, the more they win, over and over and over . . . .[/QUOTE]

Too true.

"Non bastardus carborundum"

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

[Karma]

Pretty simple really... harden the fuck up.

If you've got an issue with some dude, either tell him to get fucked, or take yourself out of that situation.

Get your shit together in a van and fuck off somewhere else... some place where this dude won't hassle you.

Running back to mummy won't solve shit because unless you plan on living at home until 60 you'll face the same problems when you come out again.

[peasea]

[QUOTE=Karma;1132474]Pretty simple really... harden the fuck up.

QUOTE]

I thought the same but was a little softer with the delivery.

[justsomeguy]

Pretty simple really... harden the fuck up.

If you've got an issue with some dude, either tell him to get fucked, or take yourself out of that situation.

Get your shit together in a van and fuck off somewhere else... some place where this dude won't hassle you.

Running back to mummy won't solve shit because unless you plan on living at home until 60 you'll face the same problems when you come out again.

To summarise yes, it is that simple. However people (talking in general Kitty) have the most difficulty attempting the simplest things.

Also I hope that avatar is just a prank. Can't see you as a cop at all......You're gremlins old mate right. If I got your identity wrong then I'm sor... eh who cares.

[Karma]

To summarise yes, it is that simple. However people (talking in general Kitty) have the most difficulty attempting the simplest things.

That's why you don't bother wasting your time explaining it.


Also I hope that avatar is just a prank. Can't see you as a cop at all......You're gremlins old mate right. If I got your identity wrong then I'm sor... eh who cares.

He's my mate, and the avatar is that the cunts are in the car and they seem to be attracted to me.

[ShadeeLady]

Shit does NOT happen for a reason always some times it just happens. Every-one's character is made up 10% by the shit that you receive and 90% how you handle the shit.Oh to be 20 again and just think how much shit I could get into. No on second thoughts the world was not ready for me the first time.:innocent: I used to think there was some arsehole screwing with my life but no it was me.:shit: Be happy and you will attract happy people, believe me sadness is only in your head and you can get control of your head. Laughter & tears are what life are made of. Don't worry what people think and only 50% what your best friend thinks. be true ot your-self and to be honest that is the only person that you realy have to please and don't be overly critical of your-self after all you live with your-self 24/7 and nobody likes a bossy boots. Listen to all of the advice of your fiends on KB and ignore what is not you BUT know that you have FRIENDS lots of them Love Richard :love::love:

[NotaGoth]

Pretty simple really... harden the fuck up.

If you've got an issue with some dude, either tell him to get fucked, or take yourself out of that situation.

Get your shit together in a van and fuck off somewhere else... some place where this dude won't hassle you.

Running back to mummy won't solve shit because unless you plan on living at home until 60 you'll face the same problems when you come out again.

Issue being that I have taken myself out of the situation.. I did a long time ago.. Even went to the the cops for help, had a tresspass served against said person... To find out that it did not get served (found out after another bad situation)... Even though he said he would.. Major let down.. Bit hard to just harden the fuck up when it comes to that.. Not when you try getting help and get that slap in the face... Leaves you resorting to other methods of fixing the problem.. why should I be the one to leave..? Its my home and has been for 20 years of my life.. Its what this person has been telling me to do..

[Mr. Peanut]

Pretty simple really... harden the fuck up.

If you've got an issue with some dude, either tell him to get fucked, or take yourself out of that situation.

Get your shit together in a van and fuck off somewhere else... some place where this dude won't hassle you.

Running back to mummy won't solve shit because unless you plan on living at home until 60 you'll face the same problems when you come out again.

Not everyone's 7' + and built likeabrickshithouse. I know where you're coming from, but I think what you lack is an understanding of the situation.

Sometimes the mind is as real a prison as bars and concrete.

[magicfairy]

My 2 cents. Time to get professional help.
You may have been down this track already though, so my post my not be helpful. But neither is "harden the fuck up" when you are in despair.
And I don't know the details of the situation you are in.

First to help sort out the situation you are in, Womens refuge or the like ... not saying you move into the refuge but to sort out options and to get empathy from people who have been in same situation.

Secondly you sound depressed to me. I mean clinically depressed. And despite the torrent that is likely to follow my post about how "doctors are all idiots", "pills never help anyone" there are times when anti-depressants can turn your life around and change your outlook on life, and give the coping skills you need to deal with major problems.

Haven't needed them myself but have had very close family members needing that sort of help when in a very stressful situation. They don't work straight away but can take a few weeks. So if you havn't been down that path, talking to your doctor about depression, consider it.

[Mr. Peanut]

I'd second that...

[Karma]

Not everyone's 7' + and built likeabrickshithouse. I know where you're coming from, but I think what you lack is an understanding of the situation.

Sometimes the mind is as real a prison as bars and concrete.

The mind is a construct of your imagination, just believing you can be happy is often enough to make it so.

And who says physical prowess is any relation to mental stability?

And regards professional help... waste of time.

Clinical Depression is just one of those things they made up to get psychs rich... same with ADD.

[Mr. Peanut]

Yeah, you've read some philosphical literature and you understand that the mind isn't real.

You're part of the 1%...

Clinical depression is not made up. Where's your Phd?

What you're saying isn't going to help this person.

[R1madness]

I agree with magicfairy. Time for some professional help.
DO NOT BE EMBARRESED. Get help. It really helps to talk to someone that will not judge you for your feelings. Go to your GP and tell him/her how you feel. They can arrange someone for you to talk to, and it will not cost you.
Depression is a clinical issue caused by a lack of a particular chemical in the brain that transfers good feelings. The chemicals get used up in times of stress and suffering. The body takes a long time to make them and if you have been under pressure for a long time your brain simply runs out of them. It takes a simple pill to kickstart the remanufacture of the chemical.

Put it this way, if your bike was out of tune (due to a blocked air filter) you would take it in and get it fixed. Noone would think less of you for that. Depression is the same.

[R1madness]

Clinical Depression is just one of those things they made up to get psychs rich... same with ADD.

You have no idea how wrong you are.

[Toaster]

I am surprised you can spell 'Nefarious' Ben.......

He better not be riding a bloody honda.

[007XX]

You have no idea how wrong you are.


Yeah, you've read some philosphical literature and you understand that the mind isn't real.

You're part of the 1%...

Clinical depression is not made up. Where's your Phd?

What you're saying isn't going to help this person.


I'd second you two very strongly...:yes:

Kitty, if you have the time, research a thread by Vifferman from about a month or so ago...
The guy laid his deepest thoughts out for all to see, and you would be amazed as to how many of us have gone through similar things to you...
There was some really good advice there, especially in regards to talking to Lifeline...
Saying this chick, if you need to talk, you only need to PM those that offer.

Keep your chin up, trust in the fact that things do get better, but like Grahameeboy was saying, it may just not happen as fast as you'd like it to.

PM me if you need to talk in more details, I'm always available to mates...:Punk:

[Toaster]

Without a doubt our lives present us with many small and some huge and overwhelming hurdles. Yeah it hurts like hell, but we have a choice.... we can use it, learn from it and build character, or we can be defeated.

I choose to win. No matter what life has or will throw at me. The darkest, toughest and loneliest times in my life have inevitably provided the greatest opportunities, I just couldn't see it at the time.... but it has made me who I am today. For that I am thankful and I am a stronger man for it.

[BuFfY]

Hey Kittie. I really do hope that things start getting a bit better for you. In times like these you need to look at the situation and see what you do have. As far as I can tell you still have your health, your mum and a lot of people who care about you. When I am in horrible situtations I think of all the other people out there who are worse off than me.
I don't quite understand the not wanting to move thing. I have moved atleast every 6 years and have had to start again. It is hard at first but sometimes the best way to get over stuff is to move away from it completely. It isn't a case of 'running away' but is a case of taking action against what is happening.
Some things you can't change and can't get away from. But bad people you can.
Through the bad times we see exactly what we do have. I have had a fairly shit year too (guess it happens when you are 20!) yet so many people have come out of the woodwork and have supported me through it all. People have let me down, and it hurts, a lot. But when you look at things holistically you can see that there is a lot of good that comes from it all.
Feel free to PM me or whatever, I guess us young kb girls should really stick together as it sounds like a lot of us are going through very hard times.

[justsomeguy]

The mind is a construct of your imagination, just believing you can be happy is often enough to make it so.

And who says physical prowess is any relation to mental stability?

And regards professional help... waste of time.

Clinical Depression is just one of those things they made up to get psychs rich... same with ADD.

Uhmm, there's a reason it's called "clinical" depression.

You sound like a guy who's had a good life, with strong role models around you as you grew up. Or am I wrong and you've personally, i.e. directly experienced "problems". Now, I'm curious to see what your definition of problems are.

[scumdog]

roll a fat one and make peace with yourself


Advice that is as pleasant and helpful as a wire-brush enema......

[007XX]

Advice that is as pleasant and helpful as a wire-brush enema......

As usual...Love your way of thinking:laugh::clap:

[slowpoke]

Issue being that I have taken myself out of the situation.. I did a long time ago.. Even went to the the cops for help, had a tresspass served against said person... To find out that it did not get served (found out after another bad situation)... Even though he said he would.. Major let down.. Bit hard to just harden the fuck up when it comes to that.. Not when you try getting help and get that slap in the face... Leaves you resorting to other methods of fixing the problem.. why should I be the one to leave..? Its my home and has been for 20 years of my life.. Its what this person has been telling me to do..

OUCH!! "Harden the fuck up" sounds a tad too...er... confronting doesn't it? Without being able to hear the tone or delivery it's a harsh message. I don't like the "hard" part myself 'cos it has as many negative connotations as positive. I mean does anyone want to be perceived as "hard"? If you were "hard" you'd miss just as much of the good stuff as the bad I reckon, and that's no way to live life either.

Hmmm, maybe words like "resilient", "strong", "tenacious", "self-sufficient", "independent" would be better descriptions of how we should respond to the rigours of life.

In my industry we actually do what is called MOME training: Management Of Major Emergencies. I've got as many problems as the next bloke/blokette so I've found it helpful in other parts of life too because it helps get crises etc in perspective. The key component is to carry out what is called a "threat assessment". What is the threat and what is the worst that can happen as a result of the threat or threats? Often you will find that the thing that is upsetting you most is not the biggest threat. (eg: losing your job could be more of a threat than what you see as the problem so take steps to ensure you don't take your problems to work etc)

Once you have defined and prioritised the threats you are able to formulate a plan to nullify them. It's basic stuff that can be applied by anyone:
1. Just list the problems you have in order of the worst possible result any of them could have.
2. Now brainstorm various solutions to any of the threats. (write down any and all ideas you have to combat the problems)
3. Pick the most effective solutions and take steps to carry them out.
4. Bear in mind the solutions have an effect on the situation so constant assessment and readjustment is necessary.
5. If you can't see a way forward, then seek assistance.

If you want the situation to change you must go forward. If you are just hanging on by your fingertips, you must find the strength, you must go forward. If you are stranded in a minefield, you go carefully, but you must go forward. Occasionally, doing nothing is the way forward and but usually only when it is the absolute hardest thing to do.

Yeah, yeah, horribly cliche'd I know, but lots of us have dealt with inumerable life, physical, mental or relationship threatening situations in exactly that manner. If life has crapped on you, or like a lot of us you've managed to crap on yourself, there is no alternative, you can either wallow in the filth or start cleaning it up 'cos nobody else is going to clean it up for you.

If moving in with Mum is a real step forward then do it. If it's just a 20 year old version of a sucky rug then don't. Hugs are nice, but they don't fix the situation. Remember the threat assessment and your list of solutions. Is this just a "misery loves company" solution or is it an effective step in ending the misery?



So much for my 2 cents worth...I think I owe you a dollar for that sermon, I'll leave it in the jar on the fridge OK? Bugger I've only got a fiver, can I pinch a Tui?

[Karma]

You sound like a guy who's had a good life, with strong role models around you as you grew up. Or am I wrong and you've personally, i.e. directly experienced "problems". Now, I'm curious to see what your definition of problems are.


I've had some role models yeh, but I've also been through some shit you wouldn't wish on an enemy.

Perhaps I'm just one of the few that believes in brushing yourself off and moving on, rather than bleating about how life ain't fair and everyone hates me.

[NotaGoth]

I've had some role models yeh, but I've also been through some shit you wouldn't wish on an enemy.

Perhaps I'm just one of the few that believes in brushing yourself off and moving on, rather than bleating about how life ain't fair and everyone hates me.


Sometimes things just aren't as plain cut and dry as you may think

[jrandom]

I don't feel that it is whinging...

You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you...

<img src="http://www.geocities.com/fang_club/bright_side_of_life.jpg" />

[NotaGoth]

You'll see it's all a show,
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you...



I think I'm in love

[jrandom]

I think I'm in love

Hopefully not with Graham Chapman.

He's (a) gay and (b) dead.

[NotaGoth]

I don't quite understand the not wanting to move thing. I have moved atleast every 6 years and have had to start again. It is hard at first but sometimes the best way to get over stuff is to move away from it completely. It isn't a case of 'running away' but is a case of taking action against what is happening.

My home, my life, my heart, all I have ever known is here... Would you move town because someone tells you that it is their town and that you have to leave..???

[Stickchick]

Unfortuantely I found it was much easier to move.....for myself

[janno]

My home, my life, my heart, all I have ever known is here... Would you move town because someone tells you that it is their town and that you have to leave..???

Absolutely yes, if I took a good, hard look at the situation and knew despite all my efforts that I wasn't going to win the battle. Which realistically is what will happen if the other person plays a hell of a lot dirtier than you can bring yourself to do.

If I thought I had a chance of turning the situation around so I could live peacefully and productively with the person still in the same town, then I would stay.

Only you can decide this one, but often when you do something you fear eg move to a strange place, it's not as bad as you think, and can be surprisingly beneficial to your growth as a person.

[slowpoke]

Absolutely yes, if I took a good, hard look at the situation and knew despite all my efforts that I wasn't going to win the battle. Which realistically is what will happen if the other person plays a hell of a lot dirtier than you can bring yourself to do.

If I thought I had a chance of turning the situation around so I could live peacefully and productively with the person still in the same town, then I would stay.

Only you can decide this one, but often when you do something you fear eg move to a strange place, it's not as bad as you think, and can be surprisingly beneficial to your growth as a person.

Good post. You have a choice: hang on to your shitty old life or start a fresh new one.
Funny things happen in life: 17 years ago my partner and I left for the West Island, sick of some crap happening in NZ. Due to a serious family illness we quite excitedly came "home" to NZ last year....only to find that "home" was no longer NZ but where we had just left.
We have actually really struggled returning to NZ. People we knew hardly seemed to have changed where we feel, think and prioritise quite differently now. Whether that's a good or a bad thing is anyones guess but we certainly don't regret leaving.
Your home is supposed to be a place of sanctuary and safety. If it's not then you either have to make it that way or move to somewhere that is....

...or you can just sit there.....

[RantyDave]

My home, my life, my heart, all I have ever known is here... Would you move town because someone tells you that it is their town and that you have to leave..???
No, but I might go because otherwise there's a great danger you'll never go.

Imagine having never ridden a bike. Multiply it by a thousand. There you go - an entire world of experience, waiting for you to haul arse from ... wherever you are. Go explore the world and enjoy it - sure as hell doesn't sound like giving in to me.

DAve

[westie]

Small town nz is a real drag. There's a good way to beat it and plenty of people have given an answer. Could you cut your ties and give it a go?

[Toaster]

Perhaps I'm just one of the few that believes in brushing yourself off and moving on

Yep, pretty much all we can do. Shit happens to everyone.... how we deal with it makes all the difference.

.... hows that GSXR treatin' ya hehe...

[98tls]

Just read this thread from start to here,dont want to be harsh here girl but theres not much point in rolling around in your own shit.......let it go,move town,stay whatever..but you got to let the bad shit go.I was guilty of dwelling on the past myself for years and all it ever did was fuck up the present.If all else fails sit back awhile and think of all the people in the world that have real problems,none of them there own doing just happens they were born a certain way or in a certain place,makes our problems very small indeed.Your a normal healthy human being with so much to look forward to living in one of the greatest places on earth,go enjoy it.

[scumdog]

Small town nz is a real drag.

It can be - but only if you are of "the glass is half empty" attitude.

[westie]

It can be - but only if you are of "the glass is half empty" attitude.

Totally agree with you. I didn't post very well.
The tight comminities of new zealand are what makes us the hospitable friendly nation we are. But it can be too tight, living in each other space and you come a cross the odd person that just grates you. Agree, disagree, agree to disagree or go find a nother awesome part of new zealand. Either way I hope kittie finds her peace.

[Coyote]

I read somewhere 'smile at yourself in the mirror' as then your subconcious will begin to like you. Seems to have work for me, probably too well as silly as it sounds

Friends may come and go, but you'll always have lotpihgad :D

[justsomeguy]

If you don't change, your circumstances won't.

Anyway

Some more reading for those so inclined.....

Suicide Song lyrics..

Animals don't have a choice.
If they're not happy with their place in the world... too bad.
They have to live the life they've been given.
Humans, on the other hand, don't have to.
We have a choice.
If you don't like your place in the world, you can get off anytime you want.
Suicide. That's right.
You don't like the way your life's going,
you don't like the way you are in the world,
anything around you, you can check out anytime you like.
Animals aren't allowed that thought
and believe me, if they were, they would use it.
There'd be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes
that live in high-rises, diving out the windows.
Zebras... if they even had remotely that thought
would take a look at themselves and go, "What the F*#K!"
Black & white in a green & brown world... this blows.
I'm just gonna jump in the river....
I don't have a thumb to work a gun or hold a knife
or even open a jar of pills.
I'm just gonna dive into the next lion's mouth.
Why even bother?"
Now, monkeys have the opposable thumb
so they could kinda do it the exact same way we do.
Now, there's a bunch of people that say,
"Oh, it's against the law".
Well, it's only against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught.
Other people say, "Oh, we should save them".
Yeah, well you know what?
Not everybody wants to be saved.
Not everybody should be saved.
And who are we to force our will upon them?
I mean, isn't that one of the joys about being a human?
Freedom of choice?
Now, it's not all bad.
Now, I'm not saying "Kill yourself".
But if you're gonna be an idiot and do it anyway,
it's no sweat off of my back.
There's a lot of good that could come from it.
A little bit of bad thrown in.

Some of the things:
A job will open...
An apartment will become available...
There'll be more air for me...
They say there's two girls for every guy - if you're a man, there'll be four chicks for me...
There'll be more Ketel One vodka for me...
There'll be one less idiot in line at the bank who gets up to the window without their F*#King slips filled out...
I won't ever have to go to the store to buy my favorite Salt & Vinegar Chips
and have the clerk point at you and say, "They bought the last bag"....
You won't help change the McDonald's sign to a Hundred Billion Served...
You'll never get AIDS...
You won't have to worry about calories ever...
No more, "Hey, does this make me look fat?"...
There'll be one less polluting human...
You won't have to recycle... There'll be one less car on the road...
There'll be more Ring Dings for me...
Fifty or so chickens' lives will be spared...
Your fingers won't ever get red from eating pistachios...
You won't be forced to visit your Grandparents on Sundays anymore...
No more church...
You'll be saying, "Hey, World - Kiss My Ass!"...
No more wet dreams about Supermodels...
No more Barry Manilow... Not for a few years anyway...
Wondering "Am I a loser?" will be a thing of the past...
Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles...
You won't have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion...
F*#K flossing and brushing...
You'll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare...
Adios, Acne...
Worrying whether you fit in or not won't be on your brain...
See ya later, homework...
You'll never have to sit through another movie brought to you by the creators of South Park...
School's out forever....
No more paying bills...
You won't have to do chores...

You won't be able to run over toads with the lawnmower though...
You'll also miss McDonald's French Fries...
Bugs Bunny...
The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss someone for the first time...
You won't be able to watch the letterbox director's cut of Jaws...
Candy...
Living above ground...
Pudding crust...
You'll miss the rush of getting your first apartment...
Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to
"F*#K Off! I gotta make my own mistakes, you did"...
You'll miss sex - you'll miss thinking about it, looking for it,
sex by yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners...
No more summer nights that seem to go on forever... Roller coasters....
Naming your kid the name you always wanted...
Making a difference in the world...
You'll miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics...
Watching your neighbor's wife change clothes with her blinds open...
A lifetime of masturbating...
Watching your favorite team sweep the series...
Music, you will definitely miss music...
Trying to sneak into your house drunk - three hours past your curfew...
You'll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of July fireworks...
The taste of Captain Crunch...
If you're a boy, you'll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girl's shirt...
If you're a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boy's pants...
You'll miss your favorite coat...
Waffles with whipped cream and strawberries...
Beating your friends at video games...
You won't be around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky Charms will be...
You'll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your first love - thirty years after the fact...
The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas...
Skinny dipping...
Getting stoned, reading Green Eggs & Ham, and eating like a horse that got loose in the grain bin...
Flying cars...

Hey, you were born, finish what you started!

[SARGE]

If you don't change, your circumstances won't.

Anyway

Some more reading for those so inclined.....

Suicide Song lyrics..

Animals don't have a choice.
If they're not happy with their place in the world... too bad.
They have to live the life they....wank wank wank waffle waffle.................ish what you started!



nah ... couldnt be fucked

[jafar]

nah ... couldnt be fucked

Yep that's in there too :woohoo:

[SARGE]

Yep that's in there too :woohoo:

it dont even rhyme.. what kinda song dont rhyme?

[justsomeguy]

it dont even rhyme.. what kinda song dont rhyme?

HAPPY NOW?


Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Let me taste your ware"
Said the pieman to Simple Simon "Show me first your penny"
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Sir, I have not any!"

Simple Simon went a-fishing for to catch a whale;
All the water he had got was in his mother's pail.
Simple Simon went to look if plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much which made poor Simon whistle.
He went for water in a sieve but soon it all fell through;
And now poor Simple Simon bids you all "Adieu"

[SARGE]

HAPPY NOW?


Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Let me taste your ware"
Said the pieman to Simple Simon "Show me first your penny"
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Sir, I have not any!"

Simple Simon went a-fishing for to catch a whale;
All the water he had got was in his mother's pail.
Simple Simon went to look if plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much which made poor Simon whistle.
He went for water in a sieve but soon it all fell through;
And now poor Simple Simon bids you all "Adieu"

you just gotta be difficult dont ya?


heres one that got some fresh rhymes for ya ..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hIdI5NUEk4

[NZsarge]

My 2 cents. Time to get professional help.
You may have been down this track already though, so my post my not be helpful. But neither is "harden the fuck up" when you are in despair.
And I don't know the details of the situation you are in.

First to help sort out the situation you are in, Womens refuge or the like ... not saying you move into the refuge but to sort out options and to get empathy from people who have been in same situation.

Secondly you sound depressed to me. I mean clinically depressed. And despite the torrent that is likely to follow my post about how "doctors are all idiots", "pills never help anyone" there are times when anti-depressants can turn your life around and change your outlook on life, and give the coping skills you need to deal with major problems.

Haven't needed them myself but have had very close family members needing that sort of help when in a very stressful situation. They don't work straight away but can take a few weeks. So if you havn't been down that path, talking to your doctor about depression, consider it.

Good advice:yes:

[Pussy]

HAPPY NOW?


Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Let me taste your ware"
Said the pieman to Simple Simon "Show me first your penny"
Said Simple Simon to the pieman "Sir, I have not any!"

Simple Simon went a-fishing for to catch a whale;
All the water he had got was in his mother's pail.
Simple Simon went to look if plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much which made poor Simon whistle.
He went for water in a sieve but soon it all fell through;
And now poor Simple Simon bids you all "Adieu"

You got it all wrong. It goes:

Simple Simon met a pieman, going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the pieman
"What have you there?"
He said "Pies, you simple cunt"

[avgas]

yep i know exactly where your coming from.
dunno about advice - but for me, go home, get all alone and put on some angry music, then slowly work your way to angry music with nice singing.
Strangely singing makes you feel good. but first you have to get angry???

[terbang]

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;

it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.


Give more.

Expect less



NOW ............


Enough of that crap . . . The donkey later came back,

and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.

The gash from the bite got infected and

the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.



MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover
your ass, it always comes back to bite you.


Yup Kittie I know the feeling, especially when I was 20ish. Believe me some good things will happen as you double your years and more. Something to look forward too eh.

[jafar]

Yup Kittie I know the feeling, especially when I was 20ish. Believe me some good things will happen as you double your years and more. Something to look forward too eh.

Wrinkles are a good thing ?:gob::shit:

[peasea]

Wrinkles are a good thing ?:gob::shit:

Especially when wet

[Coyote]

I read somewhere 'smile at yourself in the mirror' as then your subconcious will begin to like you. Seems to have work for me, probably too well as silly as it sounds

Friends may come and go, but you'll always have lotpihgad :D
Who gave me rep for this? I can't tell untill the first of september :pinch:

[Grahameeboy]

nah ... couldnt be fucked

You know when you were out of work...I enjoyed your soft side.....

[Ocean1]

You know when you were out of work...I enjoyed your soft side.....

Shit dude, none of us needed to hear that this early in the morning.:sick:

[Grahameeboy]

Shit dude, none of us needed to hear that this early in the morning.:sick:

Yeah, a bit scary I guess

[Winston001]

Kitty, I hope you have picked out some of the good advice posted here and are thinking about your next steps.

I think you should see your doctor and talk to a counsellor. It is true that talking to a non-judgemental sympathetic listener can make a real difference. You might need anti-depressants for a short time, but possibly not at all. Whatever, don't be afraid to ask for help.

Starting this thread showed courage and that you can reach out.

As for going to live with your mother, you are feeling very vulnerable at the moment and if that will make you feel secure and protected, then do it. You need to build your strength up and are under a lot of stress in your current environment. You have to change that.

In the longer term, moving somewhere else is probably a great thing to do. It will open your eyes - the world is full of good people and opportunities. At 20 you have youth and vigour on your side even if you don't realise it.

I notice you keep referring to something you can't forget or move on from. In my opinion, you shouldn't just try to forget it because all that will happen is suppression of feelings which will leap out later. Instead try counselling, talking to friends/family, work out your feelings and eventually acceptance will come. Not easy but it does happen.

[SARGE]

You know when you were out of work...I enjoyed your soft side.....



that wasnt a soft side man .. that was a boiling cauldron.. when i get quiet and introspective like that its usually time to find a rock to hide behind

[NotaGoth]

Kitty, I hope you have picked out some of the good advice posted here and are thinking about your next steps.

I think you should see your doctor and talk to a counsellor. It is true that talking to a non-judgemental sympathetic listener can make a real difference. You might need anti-depressants for a short time, but possibly not at all. Whatever, don't be afraid to ask for help.

Starting this thread showed courage and that you can reach out.

As for going to live with your mother, you are feeling very vulnerable at the moment and if that will make you feel secure and protected, then do it. You need to build your strength up and are under a lot of stress in your current environment. You have to change that.

In the longer term, moving somewhere else is probably a great thing to do. It will open your eyes - the world is full of good people and opportunities. At 20 you have youth and vigour on your side even if you don't realise it.

I notice you keep referring to something you can't forget or move on from. In my opinion, you shouldn't just try to forget it because all that will happen is suppression of feelings which will leap out later. Instead try counselling, talking to friends/family, work out your feelings and eventually acceptance will come. Not easy but it does happen.

I'm back and forth between houses.. Today I decided to make "our flat" just that (our flat) Went through tidying up and putting out photos and stuff.. Even had a me day today, and put colour through my hair..

Had my day ruined.. Some cunts been through our house while Dan was at work and I was there on my own.. Obviously looking for something that they didn't manage to find.. More than likely while I was in the shower none the wiser as to what was going on.. Not the greatest feeling.. Txt my partner to make sure he hadn't shifted what was shifted.. Wasn't him.. Ran into our landlord and asked if he'd been in the flat.. Wasn't him either.. And it definately wasn't me.. :( Partner is extremely upset...

We'll hopefully be moving house again in another 6 months.. Another place has come up so we'll be taking it when its ready.. Least I'll be back on a farm..

I've decided to change jobs (yes I know, yet again) but a few things happened my last shift at work became the final straw on that front.. I'll be job hunting again.. Why work where you aren't exactly happy..?

I agree with you completely on "just forgetting" things.. You don't just forget.. There is a day where those things that you "forgot" about come back and slap you in the face. And you realize that you didn't actually forget at all.. You just hid what you feel.. I know cause I'm to used to doing that..

I've had a bit of time to think about a few things... I've got a few ideas.. Its just using those ideas to create what I need in life.. We shall see.. There is a few loose ends that I intend on tieing up over the next few weeks.. :)

[Laava]

My partner suffers from depression as well and was at its worst 10 yrs ago or so, when her kids were fully dependent on her{She was widowed} and she slowly lost it until she couldn't function and had a breakdown. Her Dr, a young woman, was quick to recognise the problem and cheerily told her how to go about sorting things out, medication and assistance, and she was back on her feet in a couple of weeks. Now she recognises the start of it and can action it straightaway. One of her family is now suffering the same and she is an absolute rock for that person, as no-one else could be. Something positive can come from all experiences, but we all find that out for ourselves. Don't be afraid to be medicated, in my partners case, it is only necessary to get the show back on the road. She is very open about her experience as she was absolutely at rock bottom and learnt to deal with it. Hope this helps, will be going to Mangonui fish and chip shop on Sat hopefully, might see you there!:sunny:

[inlinefour]

I'm back and forth between houses.. Today I decided to make "our flat" just that (our flat) Went through tidying up and putting out photos and stuff.. Even had a me day today, and put colour through my hair..

Had my day ruined.. Some cunts been through our house while Dan was at work and I was there on my own.. Obviously looking for something that they didn't manage to find.. More than likely while I was in the shower none the wiser as to what was going on.. Not the greatest feeling.. Txt my partner to make sure he hadn't shifted what was shifted.. Wasn't him.. Ran into our landlord and asked if he'd been in the flat.. Wasn't him either.. And it definately wasn't me.. :( Partner is extremely upset...

We'll hopefully be moving house again in another 6 months.. Another place has come up so we'll be taking it when its ready.. Least I'll be back on a farm..

I've decided to change jobs (yes I know, yet again) but a few things happened my last shift at work became the final straw on that front.. I'll be job hunting again.. Why work where you aren't exactly happy..?

I agree with you completely on "just forgetting" things.. You don't just forget.. There is a day where those things that you "forgot" about come back and slap you in the face. And you realize that you didn't actually forget at all.. You just hid what you feel.. I know cause I'm to used to doing that..

I've had a bit of time to think about a few things... I've got a few ideas.. Its just using those ideas to create what I need in life.. We shall see.. There is a few loose ends that I intend on tieing up over the next few weeks.. :)

Met you a few times and your a far too nice a person for me to accept that its a case of bad things happening to a bad person. Now I suppose its a case of shitty things happening and we all know that up that way there are more than the fair share of arseholes. I'm also quite sure that while things are a mess up there and there is a state of panic/disaster/disruption/destruction that there will be wankers abusing the situation by ooting/stealing and any other illegal activities that they can get themselves into. Well I'm one who is allways there for you, even if I might not be able to get up there in person. If there is anything I can do for you, please ask.

[candor]

A few comments and will PM the rest.

Manage stress like you're doing to prevent depression.

As far as "fixing" the past thing that may not be posdsible at this time. But there is a good Maori saying - ma te wa, which really says that one day the time will be right. Some more events in life may need to happen for you or others before an answer presents.

Its not really in your power to rush and cause it to resolve obviously - some things take years to get sorted as there are blockers but life is evolutionary and has a pattern in the chaos so often it will happen not even thru your own agency and take you by surprise. In the meantime try filing it (its not going anywhere) with faith it'll somehow get sorted oneday.

[NotaGoth]

Met you a few times and your a far too nice a person for me to accept that its a case of bad things happening to a bad person. Now I suppose its a case of shitty things happening and we all know that up that way there are more than the fair share of arseholes. I'm also quite sure that while things are a mess up there and there is a state of panic/disaster/disruption/destruction that there will be wankers abusing the situation by ooting/stealing and any other illegal activities that they can get themselves into. Well I'm one who is allways there for you, even if I might not be able to get up there in person. If there is anything I can do for you, please ask.


I guess when I posted the whole flood thing up here was the icing on the cake... Very stressful situation..

Its people knowing my partners habits coming through our house seeing what they can find.. Fact is they won't ever find jack shit... So hopefully they'll quit wasting their time... Dans finally realized the effect its having/had on me... He's upset that I'm now uncomfortable in my own home, specially when our dog goes missing during the 40 minutes that this could have happened in...

Thanks John... Same thing goes for you, always..

*HugZ*

Love *T*

[inlinefour]

I guess when I posted the whole flood thing up here was the icing on the cake... Very stressful situation..

Its people knowing my partners habits coming through our house seeing what they can find.. Fact is they won't ever find jack shit... So hopefully they'll quit wasting their time... Dans finally realized the effect its having/had on me... He's upset that I'm now uncomfortable in my own home, specially when our dog goes missing during the 40 minutes that this could have happened in...

Thanks John... Same thing goes for you, always..

*HugZ*

Love *T*

Found that out after breaking my back and the impact it has had on my life and those who are or were close to me. We all at the end of the day have to make the best of the shitty situation and move on. You will get to where you want to be, I'm sure of that. Just got to keep the faith and never loose hope.

HugZ straight back at ya and I hope this bloke is treating you right and as the lady that I know you are. If not I can allways give him a tune up for you.

Love John.