Telemarketer day [Archive] - Kiwi Biker forums

gijoe1313

1st August 2007, 13:27

I just do the pizza order routine on them...

"Thanks, I'll have a pepperoni/hawaiian - thin crust and a side order of chips. Usual address please.." . Hang up.

or the "Oh thank god you called, I needed someone to talk to - I've got a shotgun pressed against my head and was just going to pull the trigger when you rang.....sob ... weep" . Stand next to door and slam it shut hard. Hang up.

and my "Sorry I'm in the telemarketing business also. You know the rules." Hang up.

I'm sure because of these responses, the amount of calls we get have fallen off dramatically (must be noted on some d-base "this household has a loony in it")

Joni

1st August 2007, 13:33

Yeah Dave, us too... we have had almost a dozen calls in the last 2 weeks... everyone from the kidney foundation to something about angels...

:thud:

beginning of financial year maybe.... I dunno.

Big Dave

1st August 2007, 13:34

so were in wellington do you work? and whats your direct line?

0800 BIG DAVE

Ask for Public relations.

ManDownUnder

1st August 2007, 13:35

Be fun to put them on hold... then leave 'em there...

Big Dave

1st August 2007, 13:36

"this household has a loony in it")

Ha! - exact same thing I told South Auckland Area Health Service.

Virago

1st August 2007, 13:47

Aarrghhh! Don't get me started - oops too late...

You know as soon as you hear the Indian accent don't you...

Six calls from Telstra Clear in the space of two days last week! They just would not take no for an answer. Each time I got angrier and angrier. The irony is that they have irritated me so much, I wouldn't consider changing to them.

It's funny having two consectutive numbers listed in the phone book. Answer a call, "Congratulations sir, you have won a prize..." "No, not interested...click". Wait for 10 seconds, other phone rings, "Congratulations sir, you have won a prize..."

Often some bloody obscure charity - "Sumo wrestling for the disabled" or whatever...

Because I'm away from the office most of the time, I divert the phone to my cell phone, so those all these marketing calls cost me.

I probably receive an average of two a day, but as you say it seems to come in waves. I think they do a different letter in the phone book each day.

My pet peeve at the moment is spam faxes. Spam email is irritating, but people who send out spam faxes actually force you to pay for the paper and ink to print their advert! Where possible I fax it back to them over and over and over, until their machine runs out of paper... Most however are wise to that, and hide behind strict anonimity.

I'm being bombarded with "trade directory" calls at the moment - three in the last week or so. These buggers copy your Yellow Pages advert, and try to charge you for appearing in their own obscure and dodgy directory, requesting "re-approval" for the "exisiting listing". Borderline pro-forma stuff.

0arbreaka

1st August 2007, 13:50

You could just try the 'over the top super aggressive tactic' or just put them on hold, that seems to work but not as well as the aggressive tactic..

Swoop

1st August 2007, 16:34

My pet peeve at the moment is spam faxes. Where possible I fax it back to them over and over and over, until their machine runs out of paper...
A fun thing to do is to change the settings in your fax machine - the one that puts your company name at the top of the fax where the phone numbers appear.....
"Murderer of Telemarketers Co Ltd" or variations on that theme!

I'm being bombarded with "trade directory" calls at the moment - three in the last week or so. These buggers copy your Yellow Pages advert, and try to charge you for appearing in their own obscure and dodgy directory, requesting "re-approval" for the "exisiting listing".
Simply reply to their fax, saying "due to last years mistake on your behalf and our agreed refund of expenses which appear to have not been paid, your account is overdue and debt collection will commence forthwith"...:shit::Punk:

Telemarketers are fun!

Morcs

1st August 2007, 16:52

bell

1st August 2007, 16:59

As my wife points out, they are only doing a job to pay their bills, raise their kids, pay off their debts, etc, etc.

BUT, the sooner NZ does what they've done in Oz and set up an "opt out" database, the better. These companies willw aste less of their resources too.

Wow! A win-win situation in the telemarketing game....who would've thought?

From some Australian site:
Telemarketers will have to abide by a national Do Not Call register in 2007, after the federal government announced it would soon introduce legislation to protect consumers.

The register would establish national minimum contact standards for telemarketers, on matters such as permitted calling hours, minimum information requirements and termination of calls.

The standards would apply to all telemarketers in Australia and overseas telemarketers representing Australian companies.

"A Do Not Call register, open to individuals and small businesses, will enable people to opt out from receiving unsolicited telemarketing calls," said the minister for the Department of Communications, Information Technology and the Arts (DCITA), senator Helen Coonan.

"Once a telephone number is registered, it will be prohibited for telemarketers to contact that number.

Bring it on.

Big Dave

1st August 2007, 17:04

The way to screw the phone ones is to simply interrupt them.

As they are reading off a prewritten speech and trying to rattle it off as fast as they can, simply interrupt them and it completely throws them as they were simply reading a script.

Sorted.

Doesn't help when my train of thought is already interrupted during business hours to take unwanted calls.

I was deep in web coding when Duli...... rang. F*** 'im and the verbal spammers he works for. I almost uploaded a page with a bad link because of it.

Anyway they don't get a chance to start - let alone be interrupted - that is why I only know his name was Duli......

It would be hugely co-incidental if it did end in 'unt' as I intoned whilst bodyslamming the phone.

;-)

Big Dave

1st August 2007, 17:17

>>they are only doing a job to pay their bills, raise their kids, pay off their debts, etc, etc.<<

'They' are representing a business that intrudes into my life in a way that requires physical action to stop it - lest it becomes infuriating.

You know what they say in the management of that game?
'Too lazy to work - too chicken to steal.'

No prisoners.

Guitana

1st August 2007, 17:28

Keep a really loud whistle by the phone Big Dave!!!
Try it once and I garauntee they will not call back!!!!

Big Dave

1st August 2007, 17:30

Keep a really loud whistle by the phone Big Dave!!!
Try it once and I garauntee they will not call back!!!!

too harsh. It's only a moral joust.

Mom

1st August 2007, 17:31

This is one of the things that really get on my wick! Sky TV managed to ring us twice in the space of 15mins one evening not so long ago, followed very closely by some plea for a donation to a charity I have never heard of, and then the Colmar Brunton crew thought it would be good to ring me too! She got as far as what would you do..... I said "hang up on you!"

Bad enough at home after a hard day at the swamp, but the trend towards ringing during business hours is grrrrrrrr. I get the job of filtering all calls to the GM, so it is I that weeds out these callers. Drives me insane!

As an observation, I asked about getting my number removed from these lists, it involves writting a formal request, and the answer phone message states they can not be held responsible if you still receive calls......waste of time really. Oh and Sky TV dont actually have any staff doing these calls I am sure, I have rung their listed number to complain and get no answer till I press the option to buy! Then I get a response, but sadly they admit they do not work for Sky but decline to tells me who they work for. No more Ms nice person from me, simply hang up!

janno

1st August 2007, 17:32

The do not call register in Aus was overloaded with requests the first day it went live!!

It's been really peaceful since we listed on it - very happy. Otherwise I used to very quietly place the phone down and walk away, do something else, then come back a few minutes later and hang up.

Worked quite well.

Charity callers I will listen to and be polite with though - often those charities are scratching around for funds that the government should be providing. :angry:

So when I come back to NZ it's also back to the happy land of indian telemarketers huh? Bugger . . .

Big Dave

1st August 2007, 17:34

So when I come back to NZ it's also back to the happy land of indian telemarketers huh? Bugger . . .

and kiwis and south africans and all sorts.

Goblin

1st August 2007, 17:42

Yeah they always ring at dinner time here. I always say "No thank you, Im not interested!" and hang up.

A while ago we had this poor bugga with a stutter trying to find K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K Kieth. Evidently Kieth has the same first initial and sirname as me and is wanted by more than the poor bloke with the stutter. We've had several "official" sounding people phone here looking for him. Next one who asks for him I will ask who they are and what they want him for. :mellow:

Toaster

1st August 2007, 17:53

everyone from the kidney foundation to something about angels...

yeah.... angel kidneys for sale... people try to sell anything nowdays :innocent:

Mom

1st August 2007, 18:00

Just to confirm the tenaciousness of these companies........I just got a call from SKY TV!!!!!!! bet no one can guess my response?

Toaster

1st August 2007, 18:04

This is one of the things that really get on my wick!

Bad enough at home after a hard day at the swamp,

As an observation, I asked about getting my number removed from these lists, it involves writting a formal request, and the answer phone message states they can not be held responsible if you still receive calls......waste of time really.

You have a wick??

You work in a swamp???? (can I call you shrek?)

On a serious note: It is worth doing... I have an unlisted number and am excluded from phone, council rate databases and electoral rolls etc.... means no-one ever rings my home phone or mail shit to my PO Box.

Besides.... the bat-cave doesn't get great phone or tv reception anyway. :done:

Virago

1st August 2007, 20:27

...Charity callers I will listen to and be polite with though - often those charities are scratching around for funds that the government should be providing. :angry:...

Beware - most charity phone appeals are done through agencies, who take most of the money, with only a small percentage going to the charity.

Most charities who use this method think it's great - they get money coming in with no effort. Who could blame them?

However, the upshot is that people only have so much spare money to give to charities, and if these agencies are creaming off most of this money, it is the charities that collectively lose in the long term.

If you want to donate, a key question to ask is "Can you provide the postal address of the charity, so that I can send my money to them directly?" If they say no, you must make a donation via your phone bill, then you can safely say that the bulk of your money will go to the agency. Decline to donate, and google the charity to find out how to donate directly.

Virago

1st August 2007, 20:33

As my wife points out, they are only doing a job to pay their bills, raise their kids, pay off their debts, etc, etc...

So are drug dealers.

SARGE

1st August 2007, 20:58

http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html

Mom

1st August 2007, 21:32

However, the upshot is that people only have so much spare money to give to charities, and if these agencies are creaming off most of this money, it is the charities that collectively lose in the long term.

I had some friends with a spina bifida son..... I used to donate to that charity via a telephone call from the same woman every three months or so. She sold a bulk liquid cleaning concentrate, you know dilute 10 parts to one for windows etc......I bought it and used to get a receipt from the charity for the purchase. I cant dontate via my phone bill, have an 0900 bar on the account. This after getting burgled, and the little shits racking up several hundred dollars of 0900 yeah baby calls on my cell phone.

devnull

1st August 2007, 21:37

This is the best revenge on telemarketers ever...

http://joshualowry.vox.com/library/audio/6a00c225203796f21900c2252ab8c18e1d.html

SARGE

1st August 2007, 21:41

This is the best revenge on telemarketers ever...

http://joshualowry.vox.com/library/audio/6a00c225203796f21900c2252ab8c18e1d.html

they did the morning show at my last radio station .. great guys ..

Skyryder

2nd August 2007, 11:39

I usually wait until they finish their spiel and ask how you are etc. If I have time I wait and don't answer. Their training does not cover that and then you can get them flustered. So some times they start all over again. Then they ask how you are again. Usually I say they have asked that once already and why are they repeating themselves. You can have a lot of fun with them if you have the time, but in most cases I'm too busy to be bothered. I once tole some woman that I had just been told by my doctor that I was dying. She hung up on me. That was different.

Mostly they piss me off and I just say no and hang up.

Skyryder

scrivy

2nd August 2007, 20:52

I usually say I'm busy, ring back in 5 mins.
They always ring back, so just don't answer the call! :yes:

Also, all the junk mail you get from the big utility/bank/insurance companies - I put all my other junk mail in their freepost envelopes, and send it to them!!
Cuts down on the waste I have to deal with!! :innocent:

Big Dave

2nd August 2007, 20:58

I
Also, all the junk mail you get from the big utility/bank/insurance companies - I put all my other junk mail in their freepost envelopes, and send it to them!!
Cuts down on the waste I have to deal with!! :innocent:

that's pretty good!

Mr. Peanut

2nd August 2007, 21:25

Now now Dave, aint it the same thing as you do? Give or a take a bit of creativity and a different medium.

Big Dave

2nd August 2007, 21:42

Now now Dave, aint it the same thing as you do? Give or a take a bit of creativity and a different medium.

Yeah - good question.

My stuff has an intrusion value of 'turn the page' - or 'click here' in places where the recipients would be fully expecting to see advertising.

Nothing ambush or unexpected and is offered with some entertainment value consistent with the medium in which it is presented.

It doesn't require physical action or require you to stop gainful activity to avoid it, beyond 'turn the page'.
And that's my beef. I'm not given the choice. Sure I can ignore the phone, but my wife can't. Great Aunt Tabitha and all. It's a formula for anxiety or drag your arse out of the chair to deal.

Where possible I always try to include a worthwhile shot or a gag, or a pun - to be consumed at leisure, as part of the entertainment - not NOW NOW NOW I'm on your fuckin' telephone and you got no choice about it.
I think there is a big difference.

Mr. Peanut

2nd August 2007, 21:46

Cool, so er, what's yer phone number?

Big Dave

2nd August 2007, 21:56

Cool, so er, what's yer phone number?

I edited for a fuller and franker waffl....response.

0800 BIG DAVE - ask for Public Relations.

It's like deja vu all over again.

Mr. Peanut

2nd August 2007, 22:08

0800 BGHEAVE?

It aint fair fighting David and Goliath at the same man.

Big Dave

2nd August 2007, 22:30

It aint fair fighting David and Goliath at the same man.

Mr 3rd person adds this to the list of possible epitaphs with thanks.

Biff

2nd August 2007, 22:36