If KB had a test to see if you were worthy, what would be in it?

[Conquiztador]

If KB wanted to have only "real bikers" here, what would be the criteria to get in?

A set of yes/no questions to tick perhaps (as nobody would be bothered to read long answers) If so, what would you have as questions???

Here what I recon could be in there:

- Do you consider your self a biker?

- Do you ride in the rain?

- Did your ex request that you sold your bike? (If you answered NO here, jump the next question)

- As you rode down the road from his/her place did you get a feeling of relief?

- Would you rather die on a bike then live to 80?

- Are most of your mates bikers?

- If you are a parent, does your kids ride bikes?

- Did you in the last 12 months buy a wreck planning to make the most awsome bike outta it?

- When you get a pay rise is the first thing you think about that now you can afford that dream bike?

- Do you find that people who pack a pyjamas are not really on your level?

- Have you ever stood up for one of your mates before you even knew what it was about?

- Is adrenalin the drug of your choice?


Could go on. But if you scored less then 10 "YES" here then I am not sure if you are there yet... (OK, if you have no kids and the ex question was not relevant, then I let you off with 8 YES)


Any more ideas??

[SpankMe]

Members should submit a video of themselves eating a steak and cutting down a native tree.

[Harry33]

Members should submit a video of themselves eating a steak and cutting down a native tree.

+1

and clubbing a baby seal for good effect.

[James Deuce]

Any club that would accept me as a member isn't worth joining.

[Conquiztador]

Any club that would accept me as a member isn't worth joining.

I am sure you missunderstood that, it was: "and clubbing a baby seal for good effect.". Not joining a club for good effect...

[James Deuce]

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

[Conquiztador]

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Your mind plays tricks on you. Flashbacks??

[Krusti]

This real biker tag makes me laugh. The idea that some have that riding a motorcycle and posting tough shit on the internet makes you a tough biker is laughable.

Most people who think they are tough bikers on here would probably shit their pants if they ever met a real biker.

Worthy? :killingme

[James Deuce]

Your mind plays tricks on you. Flashbacks??
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

[Conquiztador]

This real biker tag makes me laugh. The idea that some have that riding a motorcycle and posting tough shit on the internet makes you a tough biker is laughable.

Most people who think they are tough bikers on here would probably shit their pants if they ever met a real biker.

Worthy? :killingme

U got it the wrong way around. Posting on the internet does not make you anything apart from a nerd with too much time on his/her hands.

So tell me, what is your criteria for a biker, let alone a tough one...

[Conquiztador]

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

I think that you are supposed to whip the horse...But that would be animal cruelty and give you 27 years to life.

[James Deuce]

I think that you are supposed to whip the horse...But that would be animal cruelty and give you 27 years to life.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[Toaster]

How about a video of eating raw steak while humping a native (...........tree that is....)

[Laava]

1. Will you crap on and on about another members inherent failings? Y/N
2. Will you give unqualified advice on every subject despite being a bikeless sociapath? Y/N
3.Are you unable to laugh at your self or take any form of criticism? Y/N
If you answer yes to even one of these questions you are out!:Police:

[Skunk]

But if you scored less then 10 "YES" here then I am not sure if you are there yet...
I guess I'd fail then. Glad no-one has noticed in the last 5 years I've been here...:confused:
Yep, just checked. 5 years and 4 days.

[RantyDave]

Awesome thread and I hope it goes well, although I do feel slightly conned in that the title said "worthy" and the actual poll was "of being in KB" which are clearly very different things.

In fact, if I were not so utterly desperate to get some vital single malt drinking time in, I would be off trying to find a Web 2.0 Carlos Fandango "make yourself a purity test" engine somewhere so we might be able to test worthiness properly rather than in this entirely binary fashion. To that end, may I suggest a feats/points system along the lines of:

* Eat a steak. 5pts
* Kill the cow yourself. 10pts
* With bare hands. 20pts

With some negative marks for...

* Running off to a mod after receiving red rep. -5pts
* Starting a "I'm leaving KB and throwing my toys out of the cot" thread. -30 pts
* And coming back again. -50pts

And in terms of general areas of achievement I think the essential food groups of eating steak, drinking beer, making a tit of yourself and hardening the fuck up need to be represented. As do bike specific achievements such as mentoring a newbie, taking on some description of community task (organising UncleB's seat, the sprints, a track day etc), racing, commuting every damn day for at least a year, fixing up a dunger or particularly wanton acts of bike destruction also need adequate recognition.

Awesome idea for a thread. May she upset all who sail in her.

Dave

[Bonez]

I'm quite disappointed. There's no questions about tattoos. After all REAL bikers have tats don't they?

Oh and eat quiche.

[Bren]

How about a video of eating raw steak while humping a native (...........tree that is....)


forget the steak....just eat a native on the rag...then hump (and I aint talkin no trees)

[Bren]

I'm quite disappointed. There's no questions about tattoos. After all REAL bikers have tats don't they?

Oh and eat quiche.

do my tattoos make me a REAL biker.....does the fact I have a growing beer pot make me a REAL biker...does my High Cholesteral count from too many steaks make me a REAL biker...NO to all of them....The thing that makes me a REAL biker is where my head is at, that is the love of riding....(just hope I can get my REAL bike on the road soon)....








...(even if it is a 250)

[Conquiztador]

Awesome thread and I hope it goes well,
Awesome idea for a thread. May she upset all who sail in her.

Dave

Sorry, just really liked those parts. I don't get much of recognition for my itall...intle... itelak.. ahh, clevernessiness.

[Bonez]

do my tattoos make me a REAL biker.....does the fact I have a growing beer pot make me a REAL biker...does my High Cholesteral count from too many steaks make me a REAL biker...NO to all of them....The thing that makes me a REAL biker is where my head is at, that is the love of riding....(just hope I can get my REAL bike on the road soon)....








...(even if it is a 250)But do you eat quiche?

[Bren]

But do you eat quiche?


only if its called an omlette pie....

[Bonez]

only if its called an omlette pie....You're a biker then ;) Good luck with the GPX.

[Toaster]

only if its called an omlette pie....

mmmmmmmmm warm pie.................... :shifty:

[Bonez]

mmmmmmmmm warm pie.................... :shifty:I think the common denominator of most KBers is the love
of the humble pie.

[cowboyz]

U got it the wrong way around. Posting on the internet does not make you anything apart from a nerd with too much time on his/her hands.

So tell me, what is your criteria for a biker, let alone a tough one...

I dont know what makes a biker. Last night we got some pretty disapproving looks when we entered the cafe/pub midway through a ride. There was a pilot, a vet, a builder, computer programmer, technicans and labourers in the group. I dont think they saw past the helmets and leathers to be honest.

[cowboyz]

oh yeah, I put my vote to make the site open for all. Sometimes the idea of being a biker is better than the reality of biking. Alot ofinfo on here for soon-to-be newbie riders

[Bonez]

I dont know what makes a biker. Last night we got some pretty disapproving looks when we entered the cafe/pub midway through a ride. There was a pilot, a vet, a builder, computer programmer, technicans and labourers in the group. I dont think they saw past the helmets and leathers to be honest.
I think the hairy ginger in the faded leather jacket may have had him worried.

[Kittyhawk]

For the single chicks: how many bikers do you plan on shagging to gain the title and highest ranking..around the gossip table?. :devil2:

[Dave-]

needs to be a psyche test, you can just lie if its a multi answer

"do you like bikes?"

1. yes
2. a bit
3. FUCK OFF!
4. no

this question will only filter 3% of people in the world...

[Oscar]

If KB wanted to have only "real bikers" here, what would be the criteria to get in?

A set of yes/no questions to tick perhaps (as nobody would be bothered to read long answers) If so, what would you have as questions???

Here what I recon could be in there:

- Do you consider your self a biker?

- Do you ride in the rain?

- Did your ex request that you sold your bike? (If you answered NO here, jump the next question)

- As you rode down the road from his/her place did you get a feeling of relief?

- Would you rather die on a bike then live to 80?

- Are most of your mates bikers?

- If you are a parent, does your kids ride bikes?

- Did you in the last 12 months buy a wreck planning to make the most awsome bike outta it?

- When you get a pay rise is the first thing you think about that now you can afford that dream bike?

- Do you find that people who pack a pyjamas are not really on your level?

- Have you ever stood up for one of your mates before you even knew what it was about?

- Is adrenalin the drug of your choice?


Could go on. But if you scored less then 10 "YES" here then I am not sure if you are there yet... (OK, if you have no kids and the ex question was not relevant, then I let you off with 8 YES)


Any more ideas??

I ride motorcycles 'cause I like 'em.
I'm not a biker, I just like motorbikes.
I don't give a flying fuck what you think.

[Kittyhawk]

How many times have you binned...

Are you the next Ghostrider...

Do you have what it takes to be the best stunt rider in the world...

Can you fix a puncture without using a cellphone...

Is this pointless...:shutup:

[Street Gerbil]

Can you fix a puncture without using a cellphone...
How do you fix a puncture *WITH* a cellphone? Doesn't sound like it will make a good tyre iron.

[fireball]

How do you fix a puncture *WITH* a cellphone? Doesn't sound like it will make a good tyre iron.

call mcgivor or some thing... now where is my paper clip and chewing gum?:blink:

[MisterD]

I don't give a flying fuck what you think.

There you go folks - qualification #1

[Skyryder]

Members should submit a video of themselves eating a steak and cutting down a native tree.


Raw with no knife or fork and only cabbage trees.


Skyryder

[Swoop]

Your mind plays tricks on you. Flashbacks??
Mmm. Unfortunately this has not screened on C4 for far too long!!!

[Kittyhawk]

How do you fix a puncture *WITH* a cellphone? Doesn't sound like it will make a good tyre iron.

By calling AA or a mate to come to your rescue lol

[alley cat]

Cmon, real bikers pack pjs! Then you can go for a spit in a packed rally site an look total class.:niceone:

[NordieBoy]

Do you ride a motorbike?
YES
NO

Do you have tassells on your gear/bike?
YES
NO

[GaZBur]

Do you ride a motorbike?
YES
NO

Do you have tassells on your gear/bike?
YES
NO
Do the ripped bits that dangling off your wet weather gear get classified as tassells? Only I cant afford new wets!

[NordieBoy]

Do the ripped bits that dangling off your wet weather gear get classified as tassells? Only I cant afford new wets!

I've got a rather stylish bin-liner with arm and head holes as my wet weather top and apart from getting wet arms it works very well.
Even has a drawstring at the waist :D

Matches my bread-bag wet weather socks too.

[Krusti]

The main reason I always piss myself when I hear "us bikers" here on KB is the movie Wild Hogs.

I have always classed the bikers they meet as "bikers" and can imagine the guys in the movie as many here on KB myself included....:lol:

[The Pastor]

lame thread. time for pd :d

[Skyryder]

I think the common denominator of most KBers is the love
of the humble pie.

Chased down with a 'cold one.'

Skyryder

[Bren]

lame thread. time for pd :d
Lame post....nuff said.!!!

[jrandom]

"do you like bikes?"

1. yes
2. a bit
3. FUCK OFF!
4. no

I like this test.


I'm not a biker, I just like motorbikes.
I don't give a flying fuck what you think.

And Oscar is my hero.

[SpankMe]

Guys must submit a vid of their misses cooking them pancakes (in a nightie if they're hot), then doing the dishes. If they have the slightest grimace on their face, you're out!

[James Deuce]

Will waffles cut it?

[Trudes]

How about my hubby/bitch cooking me dinner?

[James Deuce]

No. I've already seen him in a nighty and it's not happening again.

[Trudes]

So the hairy legs didn't do it for you eh?

[janno]

suitable test for KB - does your head swivel like an owl to follow ANY bike going past, noting make, rider, attire, sound . . .

Then you are a biker or one in the making.

Or a cop. One or t'other.

[Bren]

My wife is always goin on at me for perving when we are out...It aint at any hussy with 38DD's that I perv at, no, its at any bike over 500CC, or any large truck, or at any american muscle cars...she knows I wont perv at women cos she knows I am more than satisfied with her.....