How to kill a conversation!!!

[Blue Babe]

To every one out there, Please tell me all about a Conversation Killer. I've just had one tonight, but won't go into details at the moment cause it happens quite regular. Just curious to know whether it is common or not.

[98tls]

"Really,shit she used to swallow" has always worked for me.

[NighthawkNZ]

To every one out there, Please tell me all about a Conversation Killer. I've just had one tonight, but won't go into details at the moment cause it happens quite regular. Just curious to know whether it is common or not.

Every person is different, some people it could be as 98tls says, or talking about religion, politics, sex, past reletionships or anything really depends on the person

[Boob Johnson]

A tad more details please :whistle:

[Subike]

to explain why I am single again
Its like a red flag above your head
Everyone presumes that because you are a male it's your fault
And when you say, ask her, well, forget about talking any further

[RabidTraNZiT]

A few years back, I was at work and the boss was away, leaving me in charge. Got a phone call from one of the team.

Him: "Sorry cant come in for a day or two, my father just died"

Me: "Shit thats no good mate, take as long as you need - was it sudden?"

Him "About as long as it takes to stick a 12 gauge in your mouth and pull the trigger" :argh:

Couldn't really think of a reply to that! Felt about 2 inches tall...

[98tls]

Actually on a more serious note many years back when selling cars a mate of mine came onto the yard with a bloke he knew,he said to me "whatta ya know" off handedly i replied "jews hate gas" not that im a nazi or anything,it was just off the cuff,anyway turned out although not to look at anyway ie traditional garb the guy was jewish,there was that silent thing before any other conversation ensued.

[janno]

Well I was in the hairdressers yesterday and asked the lovely girl cutting my hair if she was all organised for Christmas, as you do at this time of year.

"No, my grandmother is in the hospice dying right now."

That was a bit of a conversation killer!

[Oakie]

Watching out the office window and talking to our 72 year old receptionist on the phone as I waited for a woman to turn up for an interview. A rather attractive woman ran up the access road in tight t-shirt and shorts and I made typical male comments about this nice looking woman and finished up saying ...
"Jeez, I'll interview her even if she's not here about the job.". Receptionist waited a moment before advising me "That's my daughter".

[Clivoris]

Watching out the office window and talking to our 72 year old receptionist on the phone as I waited for a woman to turn up for an interview. A rather attractive woman ran up the access road in tight t-shirt and shorts and I made typical male comments about this nice looking woman and finished up saying ...
"Jeez, I'll interview her even if she's not here about the job.". Receptionist waited a moment before advising me "That's my daughter".

LMAO. That was so busted. Thanks for the smile.

[98tls]

Watching out the office window and talking to our 72 year old receptionist on the phone as I waited for a woman to turn up for an interview. A rather attractive woman ran up the access road in tight t-shirt and shorts and I made typical male comments about this nice looking woman and finished up saying ...
"Jeez, I'll interview her even if she's not here about the job.". Receptionist waited a moment before advising me "That's my daughter". :niceone::banana::banana::rofl::rofl::rofl:love it,what did the mum say....after awhile:pinch:

[Laava]

Watching out the office window and talking to our 72 year old receptionist on the phone as I waited for a woman to turn up for an interview. A rather attractive woman ran up the access road in tight t-shirt and shorts and I made typical male comments about this nice looking woman and finished up saying ...
"Jeez, I'll interview her even if she's not here about the job.". Receptionist waited a moment before advising me "That's my daughter".
I'll get me coat!

[Oakie]

:niceone::banana::banana::rofl::rofl::rofl:love it,what did the mum say....after awhile:pinch:

Actually we both had a big laugh about it although I was hellishly embarrased.

[Clivoris]

Actually we both had a big laugh about it although I was hellishly embarrased.

If you had told her you ride a 400cc Honda she would have set you up for sure. That's the main reason I got one. The exceptional performance is simply a bonus.

[sAsLEX]

Actually we both had a big laugh about it although I was hellishly embarrased.

72 likely puts her daughter near 50....... shouldn't you be checking out young nice things?

[Renegade]

a mate recently took a bird home from town, when he got her home she was like nah im not keen for it, after being all over him at the pub, he says "then at least roll over so i can wank on your back"

she did with out saying another a word, so he did the bis on her back, then she got up and left without saying a word.

conversation ended.

[Big Dog]

a mate recently took a bird home from town, when he got her home she was like nah im not keen for it, after being all over him at the pub, he says "then at least roll over so i can wank on your back"

she did with out saying another a word, so he did the bis on her back, then she got up and left without saying a word.

conversation ended.

Be honest, that mate was you was it not?

[Littleman]

a mate recently took a bird home from town, when he got her home she was like nah im not keen for it, after being all over him at the pub, he says "then at least roll over so i can wank on your back"

she did with out saying another a word, so he did the bis on her back, then she got up and left without saying a word.

conversation ended.

On principle alone, thats probably better than the real thing.

[Grub]

If people start talking about their health issues, there's nothing worse ... it has to stop ... now!

"... well I get these warts just under the knob of my penis ... and ..." - usually does it.

[ynot slow]

Having a few beers at a bar midweek,a couple of loud mouth americans were going on about cancer,most in the bar could hear them wank on,and were getting pissed off.So I undid the bandage covering my wrist and said ever had chemo and do you know what it's like.Nope was reply,I said this is the needle,and can reccomend you fuck up about shit you know nothing about.Bar was quiet after they left,three guys shouted me beers.

Always found do you fuck on first dates was good conversation stopper.Then it worked twice.

Your mum said you were born by IV,so I see you've turned into a wanker like your dad.Was a few words used whilst playing soccer to opponents.

[Big Dog]

Worst I have encountered was.

"Gee you've lost at lot of weight!"
"Yeah, that would be the cancer."

[Mikkel]

If I'm in a shitty mood I sometimes my reply to the mandatory: "Gidday mate, how are you?" is "Actually, I'm feeling like shit and have a lot of stuff on my mind, I'm so grateful you're here to listen!"

Usually ends the conversation... Don't ask if you don't care!
:D


I've found that a good way to sort out who makes for interesting partners for intellectual intercourse is by bringing up something slightly controversial without any warning whatsoever. If they get shocked and loose the beat you're most likely stuck with a boring partner - if they take it in stride and pick up the ball you're set for some fun!

[Mikkel]

Worst I have encountered was.

"Gee you've lost at lot of weight!"
"Yeah, that would be the cancer."

The reply to which has to be: Well, it looks good - keep it up ;)

Cancer isn't funny, but man it has got to suck being stuck in a situation where everybody gets all touchy feely about what they feel they can say to you...

If/when I get cancer I know I'd have bleak days - however, I hope I shall still retain some sense of humour.

[skidMark]

happened to me many a time

talk for 5 minutes...

them: "so, who are you on kiwibiker"

me: "i'm skidMark"

kills the convo realllll quick.:Oops:

[Oakie]

72 likely puts her daughter near 50....... shouldn't you be checking out young nice things?

She be late 30s and looked pretty impresive running down our road (think 'Baywatch').

[RT527]

happened to me many a time

talk for 5 minutes...

them: "so, who are you on kiwibiker"

me: "i'm skidMark"

kills the convo realllll quick.:Oops:

Yeah only thing is ..You just don`t Get it do you.....

[YellowDog]

Screwed up 'BIG STYLE' this Christmas. In laws coming over from Spain, via UK and Hong Kong. Mother in Law (Dragon Senior) visiting her own mother in HK for first time in 15 years. For past six months I keep saying to missus "I can take your nutty parents in small doses, but 2 weeks will drive me insane." On day they left HK for NZ, Granny (Mother in law's mother) had a heart attack and put on life support. In laws get first plane back (after 2 rainy days in NZ). Old lady dies 10 days later (89 years old and still getting up at 05:30 to work on market stall). Wife says "Was that a small enough dose for you dear?" Fuuuuuuck. I feel terrible and wish I kept my mouth shut!

I wonder what she'll buy me for Christmas? :nono:

[Harry33]

...I wonder what she'll buy me for Christmas? :nono:

Shit your mother in law died how can she top that. Ain't you asking a bit much.:shifty:

[YellowDog]

Well maybe I am asking too much, but I was hoping for a threesome with her little sister.

[Mikkel]

Well maybe I am asking too much, but I was hoping for a threesome with her little sister.

She won't know until you tell her... Women aren't mindreaders, or so they keep on trying to convince us ;)

[Paul in NZ]

Few years back, big party held annually in the alt bike/music scene. Dusty ole bikers and musos all had to ride long hours to get to the rural location in response to a very select invite list. Invite came - you went. Big group ride, hard riding over all sorts a roads, followed by by the sort of bike bash most merely dream of, live music, plenty of beer, pool table, warm night and a drive full of real bikes tinking and cracking as the air cooled engines surrendered the last of their heat to the gathering night.

These are all hard riding men, long of beard and grey of hair - blokes you can trust to ride hard wheel to wheel, blokes who have your back in the pub if trouble ensues, blokes with the 1000 yard stare, blokes who have been there, and back, got the tee shirt, the cap and usually not cared enough to post on the web about it - christ half of em wouldn't even know what a computer was but could spot the difference between a 5/16 and 14mm spanner from 50ft...

The conversation tallked to long rides - not rides on pussy bikes but long days on real bikes with little suspension and less technology than a pencil.

One modernist suggested and extra hour was to be gained from a bit of sheepskin, another recommended a pair of tight long undies with no inside eam (a few gasps of disbelief that such a thing could exist)..... The learyist, crustiest greybeard of em all reckoned satin was the the go for a long day! Simple he says, I just grab a pair of the ole ladies grundies - 'SEE' he says and drops is oily Levis to reveal a pair of red satin ladies knickers - yup - lacy bits an all - FARK! The band stopped - all ya could hear was jaws hitting the deck and people shuffling slowly away....

Priceless......

Mind you - he did ride a beemer.....

[RiderInBlack]

The funny thing is Blue Babe can't remember what the conversation killer was, I don't even remember there being one that day (but then my memory is a bit fu*ked any way). I now don't if it is a good thing or not. I rarely walk out on "conversion" unless it is getting really bad.

[Laava]

wwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh[tumbleweeds blow through...]wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiisssssssshhhhhhhhhh

[Toaster]

A good conversation killer from historical personal experience:

I work for IRD ... and meet my good lady, she works for ACC.

[TOTO]

Screwed up 'BIG STYLE' this Christmas. In laws coming over from Spain, via UK and Hong Kong. Mother in Law (Dragon Senior) visiting her own mother in HK for first time in 15 years. For past six months I keep saying to missus "I can take your nutty parents in small doses, but 2 weeks will drive me insane." On day they left HK for NZ, Granny (Mother in law's mother) had a heart attack and put on life support. In laws get first plane back (after 2 rainy days in NZ). Old lady dies 10 days later (89 years old and still getting up at 05:30 to work on market stall). Wife says "Was that a small enough dose for you dear?" Fuuuuuuck. I feel terrible and wish I kept my mouth shut!

I wonder what she'll buy me for Christmas? :nono:


what did you get for christmas ?

[AllanB]

Just try saying "I realy love what Helen and the greens are doing to NZ at the moment" .............

[Teflon]

A dude i know just finished a three-year stint.. first thing he said to me was - " you've put on the weight, must be off the crack then".. ( i don't smoke the shit)

[skidMark]

"hi do you have a sister"

"pregnants a good look for you....I'M NOT PREGNANT!"

"was you're father a thief....NO...because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes"

"wanna fuck"

or

"hi, i'm mark"

[The Pastor]

"im from kiwibiker"

[skidMark]

"im from kiwibiker"


oh yess had that convo many a time

after 10 mins or so....

"so are you on kiwibiker?"

"what! are you on there? bunch of mad cunts that lot!."

i think it's cus me and spank or me and vegabond play chaseys too much

can keep up with both of those old buggers on my poxy lil 250 tho :D

spank on gis 07 gixxer 750...and vegabond on his cbr600....

slow old buggers:P

[Blue Babe]

"hi do you have a sister"

"pregnants a good look for you....I'M NOT PREGNANT!"

"was you're father a thief....NO...because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes"

"wanna fuck"

or

"hi, i'm mark"

That is definately a conversation stopper :rolleyes:

[Wolf]

Some bloke I know told the "What's big, white and fucks kiwis?" - "Mount Erebus" "joke" and one of the women present said - in a voice colder than the slopes of that mountain - "One of my cousins died in that crash..."

[scumdog]

A good conversation killer from historical personal experience:

I work for IRD ... and meet my good lady, she works for ACC.

A bit like that here:
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a cop"
"Oh..."

End of conversation.

[Timaa]

sucks to pick up the chicks scummy. lol. just walk up in uniform and play the silent type!! LMAO

[Maha]

''Does anyone like cowpoos''?

Sorry, this aint a KB party is it?....:Oops:

[Disco Dan]

"im here ! ...now what are your other two wishes?"






.....one day it will work. *sigh*

[Toaster]

A bit like that here:
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a cop"
"Oh..."

End of conversation.

I always thought it amusing that people would ask you if you knew some random cop that worked somewhere else in the country, just because you were one - duh.

[skidMark]

"can i take a dump on your chest?"

[Timber020]

People I worked with at the youth at risk program in the US found out my grandfather had prostate cancer and was in a bad way (I had tried to keep it quiet).
One of the girls approached me after I had been speaking to my mum on the phone. She was a really nice girl but I have no class.
"So hows your grandfather?"
"His condition is now stable."
"oh thats great news"

I had this conversation with about 6 staff, then at dinner 12 of us were around a table and someone asked if I was going to get home to NZ to see my grandfather before he died.

"I doubt it" I said
"but hes stable, so he will be okay for a while"
"Yeah, hes real stable, hes dead."

Lots of dropped jaws, jesus it was as if THERE grandfather had just died.

[skidMark]

well ummm

yup.....end of thread.

how to kill a thread about killing convos......


People I worked with at the youth at risk program in the US found out my grandfather had prostate cancer and was in a bad way (I had tried to keep it quiet).
One of the girls approached me after I had been speaking to my mum on the phone. She was a really nice girl but I have no class.
"So hows your grandfather?"
"His condition is now stable."
"oh thats great news"

I had this conversation with about 6 staff, then at dinner 12 of us were around a table and someone asked if I was going to get home to NZ to see my grandfather before he died.

"I doubt it" I said
"but hes stable, so he will be okay for a while"
"Yeah, hes real stable, hes dead."

Lots of dropped jaws, jesus it was as if THERE grandfather had just died.

[Wolf]

well ummm

yup.....end of thread.

how to kill a thread about killing convos......
Ummm, yep.

[skidMark]

A bit like that here:
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a cop"
"Oh..."

End of conversation.


i usually only find that bit out when theyve already pulled me over.....

[skidMark]

Ummm, yep.


yup yup yup yup yup.:sweatdrop

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

I killed a conversation beautifully the other nite - xmas nite. Conversation got round to catholics - these two young ones were yacking away about religion saying oh there aren't many nuns or priests these days - apart from many other things I said one was - hopefully they've seen the bloody light and reality. To which they blabbered more religious bullshit - here is what shut them up totally "Please explain how a man 30 years married, 5 children can get an annulment - when he had to get permission from both parents to marry my mother? - Money talks in the Catholic church - you can buy anything you want". No catholic yet has been able to answer that question.

[ynot slow]

On the kill a conversation and religion idea.We were talking at work about Elton Johns' NP concert on the day he was playing,the boss said he would be fucked seeing that faggot,he takes it up the arse etc etc,we were laughing and the lady who was going said to him,what's the difference between Elton and the fucken catholic priests fucking little boys,shut him up,but we all pissed ourselves,especially as boss,the lady and a few were catholics.That really proved that religion did start wars,almost.