Giving other riders advice.

[James Deuce]

Gear threads.

Tell your accident story threads.

Replacing suspension components with chicken drumsticks threads.

Lubricating chains with petrol threads.

Dynamo fuel additive will make your bike run better and more economically.

They come and go.

In 20 years of watching people crash and burn you see some pretty dumb stuff.

But there are constants.


Male motorcyclists aren't ready to have their riding capabilities and habits reviewed until they've been hurt badly and are a minimum of 40 years of age.
Female motorcyclists of any age invariably seek out the most battered male motorcyclist they can find for help on surviving in traffic, slow speed handling tips, and lessons on how to pick a bike up.
Male motorcyclists under 24 know everything there is to know about riding a bike.
Female motorcyclists never arrive at their destination with a 0 blink rate, soaked in perspiration, or tell tales of near misses. They arrive 30 seconds after the leading gaggle of males under 40. Then order sensible salads and drink lots of water, and maybe one coffee. Not 6 pies, three beers and 4 espressos.
So, some observations:
If you're a bloke complaining about someone riding like an idiot you are a stinking hypocrite. Shut up. Nobody cares about your new found evangelistic fervor for "road safety".
If you're a bloke under 24, stay away from the people over 40. They've had their fill of organising trailers, ringing ambulances and parents/girlfriends, and listening to you babble about how brilliant it would have been if you could have just pulled off the massif overtake while wheelying, while they apply pressure to two major arteries and try to stop you moving the leg with two compound fractures of the femur.
If you're a bloke under 24, you're going to get lectured about your riding "habits". Shut up and listen. If you don't agree or it makes you angry THEN THE PERSON TELLING YOU OFF IS 100% RIGHT ABOUT YOUR KNOBBISH BEHAVIOUR.
If you're a woman on a group ride, for God's sake, take charge and deploy a Female lead rider, and a female tail-end Charlie.
If some people are trying to help make the road a safer place for you and you aren't prepared to help in any way, Shut up. Conversely, if you have an opposing view, make sure it is backed up with better facts than those uttered by a third cousin's best mate who used to shag a woman who worked at the counter of the AA in Kaitaia.
Robert Taylor knows more about suspension than some bloke who runs a website from Latvia and purports to come from Florida. If Robert says it's wrong, it IS wrong.Worry about your own stuff. I couldn't care less if someone is wearing a push bike helmet, jandals, a thong, and a bikini top while riding a scooter. Except to have a bloody good ogle, providing the rider meets basic ogling standards. I'm over 40 so those standards pretty much mean female and no moustache.

Riding bikes isn't a religion. Very few people are going to conform to your idea of the "perfect rider", so for goodness sakes let it go unless someone asks you for help. If you don't know, say so.

[WarlockNZ]

Ouch ..... bitter much ??

Must admit, i agree with 70% of your rant and i bow down to your wisdom :)

However the 30% i don't agree with is all about not caring about our fellow bikers, i for one don't want to see anyone hurt doing something I love and i will voice my opinion about people riding in jandals' and shorts with relish and volume.

And for all of the things that we aren't allowed to do in this country, i am still able to shake my head and call people idiots if I want too :) (and once they fall off in said jandal's and shorts, they will never ride in that gear again)

[Steam]

But... but... um... it's the internet! It's supposed to be dumb and repetitive and stupid and full of bad advice.
It's in the book of internet rules.

But saying that, yes, you are quite right.
Pointing it out ain't gonna stop anyone though.

[Trudes]

So what you're really trying to say is that women are on to it and guys are silly and run on testoterone, pies and caffine???:whistle:

[Grub]

Bugger ... now what am I supposed to do with the "Wearing Frilly Pink Knickers Will Calm You Down" thread I was just in the middle of composing????

- Pink calms people, there's cells at Police Stations in pink for just that reason.
- There's no testosterone in frilly knickers so riding would be done with the head not the other bit.

I'm devastated that this will be labelled frivilous and of little benefit to new riders

[R6_kid]

Awesome post! :Punk:

[jrandom]

You're all idiots.

Burn him!<tencharacters>

[NC]

I hate riding with other people and rarely do it. So I'm always at the front :)

Other than that, good post.

But them 24 year old boys, they wont listen. You know that.

[Grub]

Burn him!<tencharacters>

I'm kind of confused about a thread telling us not to tell people what to do which is telling us what to do

[FROSTY]

You cynical old bugger jim :laugh:

[Blackbird]

Male motorcyclists aren't ready to have their riding capabilities and habits reviewed until they've been hurt badly and are a minimum of 40 years of age.


Get out of the wrong side of the bed Jim? I mostly agree with you but not the one above. I haven't had a bad accident (desperately looks for wood... oh that's right, my head:rolleyes:). When I bought the Blackbird, I KNEW that I'd either be emptying my wallet on a regular basis to support state coffers, or more worryingly; end up dead as I simply wasn't good enough to ride it well. Swallowed pride and enrolled on an advanced 1:1 course with the ex-chief instructor of the M.O.T, Ward Fischer. Ego at rock bottom after an hour (not the instructor's fault), and the rest of the course was sublime. Still alive and maybe making a reasonable fist of riding. That course genuinely turned my riding round 5 years ago.

Cheers,

Geoff

[RantyDave]

"Wearing Frilly Pink Knickers Will Calm You Down"

- Pink calms people, there's cells at Police Stations in pink for just that reason.
- There's no testosterone in frilly knickers so riding would be done with the head not the other bit.
And besides, who wants the ambos cutting your leathers off to find you're wearing pink frilly knickers? There's a slowing thought...

Dave

[ElCoyote]

So what you're really trying to say is that women are on to it and guys are silly and run on testoterone, pies and caffine???:whistle:

AND beer is said..........let us not forget:beer:

[sAsLEX]

I love being slotted into a stereotype!

[Paul in NZ]

But them 24 year old boys, they wont listen. You know that.

God aint that the truth... I mean I try - The crotchless chaps, the fishy lips, the coy glances - nothing...

Any way...

Good post Jim2... Difference is one day you come out the other side and you end up knowing good pricks like you whom you would ride with wheel to wheel to heck and back and not blink an eye... Thats what it's about....

Fuck me - good folks are good folks - age matters not...

Paul N

[Laava]

All that, and clean undies too!

[PrincessBandit]

Burn him!<tencharacters>

Imposter!!!

[smoky]

Who bit your arse Jim?

It's life jim, but not as we know it.

[Fatjim]

Pure class.

[NighthawkNZ]

So what you're really trying to say is that women are on to it and guys are silly and run on testoterone, pies and caffine???:whistle:

What flavour pies are they...?

[howdamnhard]

He,He,He very good jim2:laugh::laugh:

[skidMark]

Jim2 ya old coot.

just admit i know everything, and life is easier okay????






sweet.

[F5 Dave]

But what if I'm not 40 yet but as bitter & twisted as you imply?<_<

I for one seriously suspect the sanity of plebs riding around with no gloves, shorts etc. Thing is it isn't limited to young blokes!

However it is not all bad. At the carpark of tuks yesterday (its ok I went via blue mountain rd). & there were a few of the yoof there, but all seemed suitably attired & several riding 2-strokes. Maybe we do have a chance as a species.

[bistard]

Well Said That Man!!!
Hey Jim,you should run for Prime Minister,with wisdom like that

P S how are those rubbish bags at your place
He he he

[Kittyhawk]

Jim sounds like ya need a shag - can I get my knee down on you :shutup:

Im 100% female last time I checked the rack hadn't traveled south, take charge (and yes do lead or be tail end charlie on rides there are a couple of other kb chicks I know who do this too) help others where I can, however I do listen to those older and wiser than myself always keep an open mind and hold high respect for those who are close riding mates of mine.

As for the 24 bit and being indestructible, some of us women are guilty of that too!! been there binned that!

You are right there is no perfect rider. If people dont want to wear safety gear thats their choice, should they end up damaged for wearing lack of gear they shouldnt bitch.

At the end of the day its that persons choice what they want to do and how they want to go about it. You can only tell someone so much before they shut off and do their own thing anyway.

Had a newbie turn up at my place in the weekend, wasnt wearing alot of safety gear, and wore a t shirt instead of his jacket...all I said was "you know my view on this its your choice" then walked off.

[F5 Dave]

. . . If people dont want to wear safety gear thats their choice, should they end up damaged for wearing lack of gear they shouldnt bitch. . .
Yeah, but those plebs will just add to the statistics of how much Motorcyclists increase the hospital bill & the powers that be will increase the ACC section of rego every time the number goes up. User pays you know. . .

And that same silly twat will be the one who you meet at a party. "Oh you ride a bike do you? I used to have a bike, had to get rid of it before I killed myself. Dangerous things -ought to be banned blah blah. ." :pinch:

[skelstar]

I love being tarred with the same brush.

[Blue Velvet]

Pink calms people, there's cells at Police Stations in pink for just that reason.

Not hot pink or baby pink, but "Baker Miller Pink"

Research - Baker Miller Pink
Courtesy of Color Voodoo Publications - Copyright 1999 - All rights reserved

One of the most interesting examples of color effects is Baker-Miller Pink - a color that's close to the bubble gum pink background color of this web page ( R:255, G:145, B:175) . Also known as :drunk tank pink," this color is used to calm violent prisoners in jails. Dr. Alexander Schauss, Ph.D., director of the American Institute for Biosocial Research in Tacoma Washington, was the first to report the suppression of angry, antagonistic, and anxiety ridden behavior among prisoners: "Even if a person tries to be angry or aggressive in the presence of pink, he can't. The heart muscles can’t race fast enough. It’s a tranquilizing color that saps your energy. Even the color-blind are tranquilized by pink rooms." (1) In spite of these powerful effects, there is substantial evidence that these reactions are short term. Once the body returns to a state of equilibrium, a prisoner may regress to an even more agitated state.

1. Morton Walker, The Power of Color, (New York, Avery Publishing Group, 1991), pp. 50-52

--

As you were.

[vifferman]

But... but... um... it's the internet!
No, it's the Interdweeb. :Pokey:
(Correct terminology is essential to impart correct information).

I love being tarred with the same brush.
As what?
Come on - finish your sentence.
"I love being tarred with the same brush as that used to waterproof the frilly pink knickers" ? :spudwhat:

Anyway, so what's up J2-Man? Just something that needed to be said, or like me, are you suffering from lack of sleep, due to excessive humidity and strange creatures clattering around in the basement till four in the morning?

Mebbe I'll go on a Grumpy Rampage today too, and spout sense also (as well) instead of the usual bollix that spews forth from my facial orofice.

[Coyote]

Male motorcyclists under 24 know everything there is to know about riding a bike.

Phff, I'm awesome. There isn't anything more to it than throttle = chicks


If you're a bloke under 24, you're going to get lectured about your riding "habits". Shut up and listen. If you don't agree or it makes you angry THEN THE PERSON TELLING YOU OFF IS 100% RIGHT ABOUT YOUR KNOBBISH BEHAVIOUR.
Fuck that shit, I know more than them, i gru up in da gettoz

[Kittyhawk]

Yeah, but those plebs will just add to the statistics of how much Motorcyclists increase the hospital bill & the powers that be will increase the ACC section of rego every time the number goes up. User pays you know. . .

And that same silly twat will be the one who you meet at a party. "Oh you ride a bike do you? I used to have a bike, had to get rid of it before I killed myself. Dangerous things -ought to be banned blah blah. ." :pinch:

Then the goverment should introduce a new law stating that full protective gear must be worn at all times while riding on public roads, this would then lower acc fees ever so slightly

[p.dath]

I like this thread so much I decided to give it a bump.

[Spearfish]

And that same silly twat will be the one who you meet at a party. "Oh you ride a bike do you? I used to have a bike, had to get rid of it before I killed myself. Dangerous things -ought to be banned blah blah. ." :pinch:

I know two of those at work, one lusted after a hyabusa purely for what he perceives is its "street cred" (just like the bike below :facepalm:)
nearly binned one on a test ride so being a new found expert decided bikes are shyt, riding is shyt, and should be banned to tracks or at least governed down.
http://www.2011hayabusa.net/Hayabusa_girls.jpg

[Big Dave]

I missed it the first time. Lovely set of irony from the sheep shagger in retrospect.

[James Deuce]

I missed it the first time. Lovely set of irony from the sheep shagger in retrospect.

I'm using that!

[Big Dave]

ewe be careful.

[Paul in NZ]

the sheep shagger in retrospect.

Thats a good name for my next artwork....

[Katman]

Thats a good name for my next artwork....

Trust you to fleece someone else's idea.