Sex and motorcycling riding

[alanzs]

So the other day I was reading a post here by a new rider and he was so excited, sharing his joy of being able to ride a motorcycle for the first time. He went so far as to say it was almost as exciting as losing his virginity. That got me to thinking about the similarities to riding motorcycles and sex. Lo and behold, there are really quite a few.
Being an Aucklander, I decided to discuss it with my wife and a few friends at the local ultra posh, over priced café, while drinking trim, double whipped, no sugar lattes (for the guys) and the latest uber expensive Pinot Gri (for the girls), and we came up with this list:

You often fantasize a lot about it before you finally get the courage to do it,
Even after doing it a long time, you still fantasize about it,
You can do both alone, though with a partner is really fun as well,
You are usually alone when you do it the first time,
You are usually scared when you do it the first time, because you’re usually alone and it may be dark and you’re afraid of getting caught,
When you do either, you usually tell some one and exaggerate about it,
Your mum doesn’t ever want to hear about it and if you’re a guy, your dad is usually proud; chip off the ‘ol block, that kinda stuff,
The more you do it the better you get,
Using all your senses seems to enhance both,
Doing either when drunk is generally a disaster,
At first, you usually go too fast, and can screw it up,
While doing it with a partner is fun, it can be really fun in groups,
Chains are not necessarily required, but if not, you need a shaft of some sort,
Leather can make things better,
Proper lubrication is required for best results,
“Slippery when wet” is not necessarily bad,
Your right arm can get sore from twisting so much,
If you do it alone a lot, your right arm bicep and forearm will get bigger (Assuming you’re right handed),
There’s definitely danger involved, especially if you aren’t wearing the proper protective gear,
Vibration is not always bad,
You often scream obscenity’s when getting into tight spots,
Bigger is generally better (I ride a 1200 Bandit, so I know…),
You have to be 16 to do both legally, or you can get in a heap of trouble,
One slip up and you can have consequences that last for life,
Mates generally don’t want to share their rides,
You have to be VERY careful if using a mates ride (without asking),
Some models are built for comfort, some for speed,
There are some great dvd’s about both,

Well these were just a few, but feel free to ad any you may think of!
Damn, I sure love riding! :niceone:

[YLWDUC]

Its all true, damnit.

-You don't want to drink too much in case it ends badly

[fridayflash]

after a particularly looong 'ride' you get a bit sore and wish it was over,
but you dont tell anyone else that...then a few days later you think back
and reminisce that it was a fantastic 'ride' and you cant wait to do
it again!! hehe

[offrd]

Classic! :niceone:

[Storm]

When it all goes wrong and you find out you've used inferior quality "protection",
you're in the sh^t big time!!



Great list, thanks for a laugh:D

[alanzs]

When it all goes wrong and you find out you've used inferior quality "protection",
you're in the sh^t big time!!



Great list, thanks for a laugh:D

My pleasure. we were laughing so hard, I almost blew my latte out my nose... :niceone:

[FJRider]

If you only have a wee one, you can still be satisfied after a ride, but your partner often prefers you do it on your own.
You boast about being able to go the distance,but opinion often differs between you and your partner,what the distance should be.
Doing it under a full moon is always magical.
On top is always preferred.
Do it at night without lights,and you can end up in the shit.
You can earn a living doing it .

[PrincessBandit]

Not to mention cramp.....:shifty:

[Reido]

you only have to be 15 to get a 6L license..

[wickle]

U can really be up the creek if the rubber burst at the wrong time

[hellkat]

LOL ... I KNEW this forum was the right one for me.

Fortunately I am busy working and have not got the time to actually dream any up. But they are all very funny (and oh, how true!) so far!

[karla]

After a really good ride you always sleep well ...
The only bad ride is the one you missed out on ..

[BiK3RChiK]

:lol: Good for an afternoon delight...

[alanzs]

Great additions! No pun intended... :hug:

[BIHB@0610]

And on either, the faster you go, the bigger the mess ......:banana:

[Evo1132]

I love it, you guys have some real good ones, I love the one about ending up in the shit if you dont hav the lights on, lol

[tate35]

And at times a few quick rides can be just as satisfying as one looong ride!! :)

[1 Free Man]

If you ride too fast it will be over to soon.

[cruza]

After a really good ride you always sleep well ...
The only bad ride is the one you missed out on ..

+1:2thumbsup

[cruza]

Its always good to test ride a few, then bring the best one home to live.

[alanzs]

A flick of the wrist, and it's all over! Great thread folks, thanks for the laughs!

[brit-bloke]

I rode a new girl today...she was called KTM RC8 and I've had a huge smile on my face since!! Sweet sweet ride!

[alanzs]

I rode a new girl today...she was called KTM RC8 and I've had a huge smile on my face since!! Sweet sweet ride!

I think there should be a rule that you have to post of pic of every new ride! :devil2:

[chester]

It would be nice to have two bikes in the garage.Only if I could afford it.

[karla]

It's lovely having two bikes in the garage but you have to do some serious gymnastics to ride them both at once ...

[bismarck]

Which one is better, 4 cylinders sport bike or HD v-twins?:lol:
sounds different hehe

[CookMySock]

It's lovely having two bikes in the garage but you have to do some serious gymnastics to ride them both at once ...oooh I like that.. nearly the bestest ride ever!

DB

[fireball]

you can trade in for the sister model......

if thats what your into...

[karla]

you can trade in for the sister model......

if thats what your into...

LOL - now that is naughty!!

[FkNAmerican]

The bike built for speed when your young.......the one built for comfort when your middle aged......and that quirky fixer upper of a motorcycle you fell in love with that you'd happily stay up all night tinkering with....thats the keeper.

[karla]

People won't admit it but they enjoy watching you ride, and when they're watching they are usually jealous.

[jade]

I got a wristy from the harbour bridge to tristram
Pillions are all good
LOL

[Maha]

You didnt mention....Flogging the Sausage?.....:niceone:

[Pedrostt500]

Race down the Straights, Hug the Curves, and pull out to avoid children.

[brit-bloke]

I think there should be a rule that you have to post of pic of every new ride! :devil2:

Here ya go!! :banana:

[alanzs]

Here ya go!! :banana:

Hmmm... Not quite what I had in mind.... :chase: Nice bike though...

[Coyote]

Is having a pillion on your bike a threesome?

[monkeymsea]

HAha look what i started... Lol im the new rider that put up that post lol...

Keep up the good work boys..

[Padmei]

The missus still gets pissed off when you clean up after with the curtains

[icekiwi]

Ummm....
I never park in the "Wet Spot"

Unlike when your riding, during sex it's great to have something go down on you....

[karla]

Race down the Straights, Hug the Curves, and pull out to avoid children.

Can't give any more bling, but that was sooo funny. I'm enjoying this thread heaps! LOLOL

[karla]

HAha look what i started... Lol im the new rider that put up that post lol...

Keep up the good work boys..

So it was you that posted that your first ride was like losing your virginity ... have you done your competency test yet?

:devil2:

[cushty]

if you go too fast when leaned over and haven't got good grip at the rear there is a good chance you'll slide out. :lol:

[mister.koz]

Sorry to wake up a sleepy thread but i had to add something.

squeaky springs are always a distraction
don't go too fast, the smell of burning rubber hurts the eyes
they are both less fun when cages are about
always a slow start on a cold morning
exciting and difficult in a shower
traction keeps it there while sliding keeps it interesting
learners are always awkward and don't know where to put themselves
experience is everything but even the experienced stuff it up
the louder the better, its like a trophy to wake up the flatmates
2 bikes for a rider is fun and tricky, 2 riders for a bike is just plain weird


ps love the one about pulling out to avoid children.

[Coyote]

they are both less fun when cages are about
Cages on the motorway turn a plain boring straight bit of road into a slalom course :D

And you/they not being able to move can add to the fun...

[CookMySock]

Most offers/swaps considered.a/s/l ? LOL

DB

[monkeymsea]

So it was you that posted that your first ride was like losing your virginity ... have you done your competency test yet?

:devil2:

Just got all my gear from botany honda...
going to book it in at the Auckland motorcycle club on Thursday night next week, then sit the test on Friday following it lol... then go for a loong ride to all my mates houses!:clap:

[mister.koz]

Just a suggestion, try using one of the bikes they have for the competency test. I tried getting my zxr around the cones and i couldn't do it without lighting up the back wheel, also couldn't do the slow ride overly well because the zxr is real jumpy down low.

When i did my test, the guy supplied (for a cost) gn125's and they are really soft through the gears and have a much tighter turning angle, it was a complete breeze doing it!

[alanzs]

Just a suggestion, try using one of the bikes they have for the competency test. I tried getting my zxr around the cones and i couldn't do it without lighting up the back wheel, also couldn't do the slow ride overly well because the zxr is real jumpy down low.

When I did my test, the guy supplied (for a cost) gn125's and they are really soft through the gears and have a much tighter turning angle, it was a complete breeze doing it!

I used to fail the written tests. I'd end up debating the questions. My favorite was:
When approaching a railroad crossing, you should approach the railroad track at:
(a) a 90 degree angle,
(b) a 45 degree angle,
(c) stop and look both ways. :argue:

They'd end up giving me the test verbally and literally, the guy would nod for a yes or no answer. Aaaahhh, those were the days (1977)...
The scratch off test here was pretty simple.... :whistle:

[karla]

You can objectify your bike.

(But I wouldn't try it with your g/friend, or at measured risk only!)

--
News of the Weird reported on "objectophilia" in June 2007,
based on a prominent German sexologist's belief that people can
develop romantic-type relationships with inanimate objects
(beyond mere fetishists, who derive only short-term arousal from
items like shoes or underwear). In May 2008, Britain's Channel
Five produced a documentary with on-camera interviews with
several such "mechaphiles," including a 57-year-old American
from Washington state who claims his "girlfriend" is a white
Volkswagen Beetle (but who said he has had "sex" with 1,000
cars) and a 54-year-old woman in Sweden who claims she has been
"married" to the Berlin Wall since 1979. [Daily Telegraph
(London), 5-21-08, 5-27-08]

[n0regret5]

so..i'm not the only guy to ever get his bike pregnant? thank christ.

gonna be some odd-looking loud kids with an attitude problem and funny rear suspension though...

[alanzs]

so..i'm not the only guy to ever get his bike pregnant? thank christ.

I feel so relieved that others are talking about this as well. I always felt so, different. Now I realize, I'm not at all. Different that is... :cool: