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Thread: Sex and motorcycling riding

  1. #1
    Join Date
    1st May 2008 - 12:59
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    Sex and motorcycling riding

    So the other day I was reading a post here by a new rider and he was so excited, sharing his joy of being able to ride a motorcycle for the first time. He went so far as to say it was almost as exciting as losing his virginity. That got me to thinking about the similarities to riding motorcycles and sex. Lo and behold, there are really quite a few.
    Being an Aucklander, I decided to discuss it with my wife and a few friends at the local ultra posh, over priced café, while drinking trim, double whipped, no sugar lattes (for the guys) and the latest uber expensive Pinot Gri (for the girls), and we came up with this list:

    You often fantasize a lot about it before you finally get the courage to do it,
    Even after doing it a long time, you still fantasize about it,
    You can do both alone, though with a partner is really fun as well,
    You are usually alone when you do it the first time,
    You are usually scared when you do it the first time, because you’re usually alone and it may be dark and you’re afraid of getting caught,
    When you do either, you usually tell some one and exaggerate about it,
    Your mum doesn’t ever want to hear about it and if you’re a guy, your dad is usually proud; chip off the ‘ol block, that kinda stuff,
    The more you do it the better you get,
    Using all your senses seems to enhance both,
    Doing either when drunk is generally a disaster,
    At first, you usually go too fast, and can screw it up,
    While doing it with a partner is fun, it can be really fun in groups,
    Chains are not necessarily required, but if not, you need a shaft of some sort,
    Leather can make things better,
    Proper lubrication is required for best results,
    “Slippery when wet” is not necessarily bad,
    Your right arm can get sore from twisting so much,
    If you do it alone a lot, your right arm bicep and forearm will get bigger (Assuming you’re right handed),
    There’s definitely danger involved, especially if you aren’t wearing the proper protective gear,
    Vibration is not always bad,
    You often scream obscenity’s when getting into tight spots,
    Bigger is generally better (I ride a 1200 Bandit, so I know…),
    You have to be 16 to do both legally, or you can get in a heap of trouble,
    One slip up and you can have consequences that last for life,
    Mates generally don’t want to share their rides,
    You have to be VERY careful if using a mates ride (without asking),
    Some models are built for comfort, some for speed,
    There are some great dvd’s about both,

    Well these were just a few, but feel free to ad any you may think of!
    Damn, I sure love riding!
    Ride, eat, sleep, repeat!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    29th January 2007 - 10:30
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    Its all true, damnit.

    -You don't want to drink too much in case it ends badly
    'I always have coffee when I watch radar, everyone knows that' - Lord Dark Helmet -

    www.stepup.mil.nz

  3. #3
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    9th August 2005 - 19:57
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    after a particularly looong 'ride' you get a bit sore and wish it was over,
    but you dont tell anyone else that...then a few days later you think back
    and reminisce that it was a fantastic 'ride' and you cant wait to do
    it again!! hehe
    'the stickiest situation since sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun'

    Cpt Edmund Blackadder

  4. #4
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    7th December 2007 - 20:15
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    Classic!

  5. #5
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    8th August 2004 - 23:11
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    When it all goes wrong and you find out you've used inferior quality "protection",
    you're in the sh^t big time!!



    Great list, thanks for a laugh
    "Not one day that we are here on this earth has been promised to us, so make the most of every day as if it was your last, and every breath ,as if it were the same"

  6. #6
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    1st May 2008 - 12:59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Storm View Post
    When it all goes wrong and you find out you've used inferior quality "protection",
    you're in the sh^t big time!!



    Great list, thanks for a laugh
    My pleasure. we were laughing so hard, I almost blew my latte out my nose...
    Ride, eat, sleep, repeat!

  7. #7
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    1st September 2007 - 21:01
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    If you only have a wee one, you can still be satisfied after a ride, but your partner often prefers you do it on your own.
    You boast about being able to go the distance,but opinion often differs between you and your partner,what the distance should be.
    Doing it under a full moon is always magical.
    On top is always preferred.
    Do it at night without lights,and you can end up in the shit.
    You can earn a living doing it .
    When life throws you a curve ... Lean into it ...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    2nd December 2007 - 20:00
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    Not to mention cramp.....
    I lahk to moove eet moove eet...

    Katman to steveb64
    Quote Originally Posted by Katman View Post
    I'd hate to ever have to admit that my arse had been owned by a Princess.

  9. #9
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    4th March 2008 - 16:27
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    you only have to be 15 to get a 6L license..

  10. #10
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    6th April 2008 - 15:43
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    U can really be up the creek if the rubber burst at the wrong time
    Boys can't ride broken toys.

  11. #11
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    30th May 2008 - 14:59
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    LOL ... I KNEW this forum was the right one for me.

    Fortunately I am busy working and have not got the time to actually dream any up. But they are all very funny (and oh, how true!) so far!
    No I am not a Pom - I just sound like one ...

  12. #12
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    27th November 2007 - 17:00
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    After a really good ride you always sleep well ...
    The only bad ride is the one you missed out on ..
    --
    Still inventing myself ...
    Code:
    ...completely, unshakably content.

  13. #13
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    11th February 2008 - 18:37
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    Good for an afternoon delight...
    A dream without a plan is just a wish!

    Make it happen....

    ....DREAM+PLAN+ACTION=GOAL/TARGET

  14. #14
    Join Date
    1st May 2008 - 12:59
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    Great additions! No pun intended...
    Ride, eat, sleep, repeat!

  15. #15
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    31st December 2007 - 13:57
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    And on either, the faster you go, the bigger the mess ......

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