So the other day I was reading a post here by a new rider and he was so excited, sharing his joy of being able to ride a motorcycle for the first time. He went so far as to say it was almost as exciting as losing his virginity. That got me to thinking about the similarities to riding motorcycles and sex. Lo and behold, there are really quite a few.
Being an Aucklander, I decided to discuss it with my wife and a few friends at the local ultra posh, over priced café, while drinking trim, double whipped, no sugar lattes (for the guys) and the latest uber expensive Pinot Gri (for the girls), and we came up with this list:
You often fantasize a lot about it before you finally get the courage to do it,
Even after doing it a long time, you still fantasize about it,
You can do both alone, though with a partner is really fun as well,
You are usually alone when you do it the first time,
You are usually scared when you do it the first time, because you’re usually alone and it may be dark and you’re afraid of getting caught,
When you do either, you usually tell some one and exaggerate about it,
Your mum doesn’t ever want to hear about it and if you’re a guy, your dad is usually proud; chip off the ‘ol block, that kinda stuff,
The more you do it the better you get,
Using all your senses seems to enhance both,
Doing either when drunk is generally a disaster,
At first, you usually go too fast, and can screw it up,
While doing it with a partner is fun, it can be really fun in groups,
Chains are not necessarily required, but if not, you need a shaft of some sort,
Leather can make things better,
Proper lubrication is required for best results,
“Slippery when wet” is not necessarily bad,
Your right arm can get sore from twisting so much,
If you do it alone a lot, your right arm bicep and forearm will get bigger (Assuming you’re right handed),
There’s definitely danger involved, especially if you aren’t wearing the proper protective gear,
Vibration is not always bad,
You often scream obscenity’s when getting into tight spots,
Bigger is generally better (I ride a 1200 Bandit, so I know…),
You have to be 16 to do both legally, or you can get in a heap of trouble,
One slip up and you can have consequences that last for life,
Mates generally don’t want to share their rides,
You have to be VERY careful if using a mates ride (without asking),
Some models are built for comfort, some for speed,
There are some great dvd’s about both,
Well these were just a few, but feel free to ad any you may think of!
Damn, I sure love riding!![]()
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