True Love

[Ms Piggy]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4152447.stm

Kinda like the owl and the pussy cat :love2:

[pipeman]

All I can say is LETS HOPE THEY HAVE SAFE SEX :2thumbsup

[Biff]

would their kids be hipopotertoise?

[Hooks]

Reminds me of an old joke ....

2 Zoo keepers were chatting and one said to the other "your elephants keep fucking my turtles" .... the other one says "that's impossible ... how can that be ?" ... Just then aloud crunch is heard ..... "See, that's another one fucked !!" ...... :doobey:

[James Deuce]

Reminds me of an old joke ....

2 Zoo keepers were chatting and one said to the other "your elephants keep fucking my turtles" .... the other one says "that's impossible ... how can that be ?" ... Just then aloud crunch is heard ..... "See, that's another one fucked !!" ...... :doobey:
And the crowd recoiled in horror, when Hooks was heard to say, " Thank you, thank you, I'm on all night!"

Bada bum pssshhh

[Hooks]

And the crowd recoiled in horror, when Hooks was heard to say, " Thank you, thank you, I'm on all night!"

Bada bum pssshhh

Right Jim2 ...point taken !! ...

(shuffles awkwardly to stage left then runs ....)

[Biff]

Oh - so it's animal joke time is it. Grrrrrrrrrrrreat. Here's my effort:


Frank the lion was in its cage waiting to be fed, a new zoo keeper was on duty and he decided to feed the fish first. Unfortunately he picked up the a bottle of disinfectant instead of the fish food and upon pouring the disinfectant into the fish pond the fish soon died. So the new zoo keeper though, " I know, I’ll feed the fish to the lion". So he did.

Next it was the same zoo keeper's turn to feed the chimpanzees. Once again the halfwit phuked up and mistakenly placed rat poison instead of vitamin supplements into the chimpanzees food. Shortly after being fed, the chimpanzees died. "Oh shit", thought the zookeeper, "best I get rid of the evidence." So once again, he fed the unfortunate dead chimps to the lion.

The zoo keeper thought that he had better stick with smaller creatures, so he decided to go any visit the honey bees. Unknown to him there was building work taking place by the bees hives and as he entered the room in which the hives were kept he knocked a plank of wood from some scaffolding which fell on the bee hive squashing all of the bees within it. "Oh shit, not again!", thought zoo keeper, once again feeding the remains of these poor insects to the lions.

Later that day Frank the lion was joined by a new lion names Bert. " Hi I'm Bert", said the new Lion. "Hi Bert, I'm frank", said Frank the lion. " What's the food like here Frank?", asked Bert. "Fantastic" replied Frank. " Today we had fish, chimps and mushy bees"

:spudbooge

[Hooks]

Oh - so it's animal joke time is it. Grrrrrrrrrrrreat. Here's my effort:


Frank the lion was in its cage waiting to be fed, a new zoo keeper was on duty and he decided to feed the fish first. Unfortunately he picked up the a bottle of disinfectant instead of the fish food and upon pouring the disinfectant into the fish pond the fish soon died. So the new zoo keeper though, " I know, I’ll feed the fish to the lion". So he did.

Next it was the same zoo keeper's turn to feed the chimpanzees. Once again the halfwit phuked up and mistakenly placed rat poison instead of vitamin supplements into the chimpanzees food. Shortly after being fed, the chimpanzees died. "Oh shit", thought the zookeeper, "best I get rid of the evidence." So once again, he fed the unfortunate dead chimps to the lion.

The zoo keeper thought that he had better stick with smaller creatures, so he decided to go any visit the honey bees. Unknown to him there was building work taking place by the bees hives and as he entered the room in which the hives were kept he knocked a plank of wood from some scaffolding which fell on the bee hive squashing all of the bees within it. "Oh shit, not again!", thought zoo keeper, once again feeding the remains of these poor insects to the lions.

Later that day Frank the lion was joined by a new lion names Bert. " Hi I'm Bert", said the new Lion. "Hi Bert, I'm frank", said Frank the lion. " What's the food like here Frank?", asked Bert. "Fantastic" replied Frank. " Today we had fish, chimps and mushy bees"

:spudbooge

Aw crap mate ....I stirred 'em up but you might be getting them angry now .... :brick: follow me off the stage quick !!! ....... :whistle:

[Coyote]

Aw crap mate ....I stirred 'em up but you might be getting them angry now .... :brick: follow me off the stage quick !!! ....... :whistle:
*Goes out on stage with his top hat and cane*

[Biff]

.................................................. ........:crazy: TAXI!!

[James Deuce]

Tha commedian's a bear.

No he's a not; He's a wearing a necktie.

[Coyote]

Tha commedian's a bear.

No he's a not; He's a wearing a necktie.
Ha-yuk ha-yuk

[Yokai]

Tha commedian's a bear.

No he's a not; He's a wearing a necktie.

{muppet}wakka wakka wakka{/muppet}

[Hooks]

Tha commedian's a bear.

No he's a not; He's a wearing a necktie.

A Beer did I hear you say .... yes thanks I'll have 'arf ...... in fact I'll have both 'arfs :beer:

[Hooks]

there we did it.... 2 phases and we've hijacked a perfectly good thread and turned it into a beer one !!! ...... :whistle: :spudwave: :laugh: :spudbooge

[Hitcher]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/4152447.stm

Kinda like the owl and the pussy cat
One of the most wonderful tales of love ever told.

Two beings madly in love to such a degree that they felt compelled to cast themselves completely adrift from their past lives. We're never told why they felt compelled to do this, but it is probably likely that they would have been discriminated against for having a mixed marriage.

And their love was rock solid. It would have had to have been to endure after 366 days on the ocean in a small watercraft. This experience brought them so close they felt compelled to marry immediately upon reaching shore.

The folk they met here accepted them for what they were and had no qualms in giving up intimate personal possessions and administering marriage rites.

They lived happily ever after.

Wonderful!

[James Deuce]

One of the most wonderful tales of love ever told.

Two beings madly in love to such a degree that they felt compelled to cast themselves completely adrift from their past lives. We're never told why they felt compelled to do this, but it is probably likely that they would have been discriminated against for having a mixed marriage.

And their love was rock solid. It would have had to have been to endure after 366 days on the ocean in a small watercraft. This experience brought them so close they felt compelled to marry immediately upon reaching shore.

The folk they met here accepted them for what they were and had no qualms in giving up intimate personal possessions and administering marriage rites.

They lived happily ever after.

Wonderful!
Obviously written by a 19th century Homosexual British MP

[Hitcher]

Obviously written by a 19th century Homosexual British MP
Killjoy... No civil union here, sunshine!

[Slipstream]

there we did it.... 2 phases and we've hijacked a perfectly good thread and turned it into a beer one !!! ......

Well since you did...here's a joke about BEER.

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy go through a peculiar ritual. "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks the bloke why. "Well" the guy says, "I have a friend in Ireland and a friend in Australia. We have our birthdays on the same day. We can't be together so we have agreed that on this day we will each go into our local pub and have a round of drinks for each other. We have been doing this for 55 years since we were 18"
The next year the man comes in and asks the bartender for two beers. The bartender, a bit taken aback, places two beers in front of the guy and watches him say "happy birthday, happy birthday!" The bartender asks "so which one died?"
"No one."
"But you only ordered two drinks!"
"Yeah, well, I've given up drinking."


:killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme ...:D... :confused: ...:mellow: ...Well I thought it was funny.

[MSTRS]

I think this one's about beer.....
One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in tiny letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.
The next day she went into the room, and she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same disgusting word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word.
Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words:
"The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!"