Report: 93% Of Drunk Drivers Get Home Just Fine

[Bren]

in the (offbeat) news


WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the National Institutes of Health, 93 percent of those who get behind the wheel while intoxicated arrive at their homes safe and sound, just like they told everybody they would. "Most of these people are barely even buzzed, and 87 percent of the time they're driving primarily on back roads for distances of like, eight miles, tops," said the study's lead author, Dr. Henry Tillman, adding that the vast majority of inebriated drivers stuck with only beer all night, so they were totally fine. "Roughly 64 percent of drunk drivers have cousins who are cops anyway, so it's really no big deal." The study concluded that a mere one in 15 drunk drivers end up dying in a cascading torrent of fire, so, you know, odds.http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/onion/assets/terminator.gif

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/report_93_of_drunk_drivers

[Forest]

I <3 the onion. Some of the best satire on the web.

[peasea]

in the (offbeat) news



http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/report_93_of_drunk_drivers


I'm willing to bet the same number of speedsters get home safely too, probably more. Mind you, I'd much rather get into the car of a known speedster than a known drunk.

[Trudes]

Oh good god, what next?!

[Mikkel]

Bwahaha, let's just hope that noone fails to see the underlying satire and applies it as a argument for drink driving.

[Badjelly]

Bwahaha, let's just hope that noone fails to see the underlying satire and applies it as a argument for drink driving.

No-one could be that stupid!

[Mikkel]

No-one could be that stupid!

Well, drink driving IS a real problem isn't it?

[Genestho]

in the (offbeat) news



http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/report_93_of_drunk_drivers


Far out, thats got to be taking the piss.
I notice theres no info on the amount of people surveyed or studied?

It might just my perception but Id imagine a mere one in 15 deaths contributing to alcohol related fatalities is bloody high for the population 6,395,798 (2006) in Washington. And if its a so called National Institute study? Then that indicates one in fifteen out of the population of USA...299,398,484(2006).

The "odds" comment make it seem like its a toss of the dice that they get home, which I guess is certainly a way to look at it...but erm I think we have a bit more control over life and decisions made, than that...

Informations not very complete or open...so can only go on whats there,

Only in America
:rolleyes:

[FJRider]

Far out, thats got to be taking the piss.
I notice theres no info on the amount of people surveyed or studied?

It might just my perception but Id imagine a mere one in 15 deaths contributing to alcohol related fatalities is bloody high for the population 6,395,798 (2006) in Washington. And if its a so called National Institute study? Then that indicates one in fifteen out of the population of USA...299,398,484(2006).

The "odds" comment make it seem like its a toss of the dice that they get home, which I guess is certainly a way to look at it...but erm I think we have a bit more control over life and decisions made, than that...

Informations not very complete or open...so can only go on whats there,

Only in America
:rolleyes:

Not just in America... just look around any pub car park in New Zealand, do they all drive home under the legal limit... ??? Satire can often be too close to the truth to be funny.

[Tank]

Not just in America... just look around any pub car park in New Zealand, do they all drive home under the legal limit... ??? Satire can often be too close to the truth to be funny.

Its true - Last weekend I popped into the Puhoi pub - and everyone was knocking back cokes.

Have the coppers ever done a roadblock on that road??

[Toaster]

Well, drink driving IS a real problem isn't it?

It is if you get hit by one! Drink Drivers are a menace and an unnecessary danger to the rest of us on the roads.

I will never forget my Mum failing to come home on the morning of my 10th birthday because of drink driving. Instead I had to go see her in Hospital recovering from massive injuries.

[Genestho]

Not just in America... just look around any pub car park in New Zealand, do they all drive home under the legal limit... ??? Satire can often be too close to the truth to be funny.


Sorry I shouldve added:

Only in America - would there be a sensless and ridiculous study (yet strangely informative) paid for by taxpayers, who also pay for a war that can never be won!

Good question there FJRider, no one can test the limit accurately, its impossible to have a limit and then expect anyone to abide by the law in those circumstances.

[Genestho]

It is if you get hit by one! Drink Drivers are a menace and an unnecessary danger to the rest of us on the roads.

I will never forget my Mum failing to come home on the morning of my 10th birthday because of drink driving. Instead I had to go see her in Hospital recovering from massive injuries.

Thats sucks dude, sad that you still remember. (As if you couldnt)

My adopted 14 year old sister was also killed, by a rumoured drunk driver when I was 5, I remember the atmosphere to be quite dark, and I never understood it all till now.

[FJRider]

If one in every hundred people, that drives away from ANY pub in New Zealand is over the legal limit...thats a lot of unsafe drivers that we share the road with.
If in New Zealand, only 50% of drunk drivers get home safely...count the number caught/crash and thats the scarey bit if the same number are/were out there and didn't...

[Toaster]

Thats sucks dude, sad that you still remember. (As if you couldnt)

My adopted 14 year old sister was also killed, by a rumoured drunk driver when I was 5, I remember the atmosphere to be quite dark, and I never understood it all till now.

Shame the system is still so soft on the re-offenders. The vehicles used should be crushed as punishment and have them sent to jail for 5 years of sobering bum-sex with a 300 pound sweaty cellmate called bubba.

[Genestho]

If one in every hundred people, that drives away from ANY pub in New Zealand is over the legal limit...thats a lot of unsafe drivers that we share the road with.
If in New Zealand, only 50% of drunk drivers get home safely...count the number caught/crash and thats the scarey bit if the same number are/were out there and didn't...

And dont forget the third of around 29000 that are repeat drink drivers - caught and convicted.

There is a study that for each drink driving offence, it's estimated a person will have driven whilst alcohol impaired between 300-2000 times, Rauch, T2002

[Pwalo]

Relax guys. The Onion is a very old satirical publication from the US. I doubt seriously that any 'serious' research has gone into this article.

[Genestho]

Relax guys. The Onion is a very old satirical publication from the US. I doubt seriously that any 'serious' research has gone into this article.


No, but it as satarical as it is, it does provoke thought!

[Mikkel]

Far out, thats got to be taking the piss.

It is taking the piss - so just relax :) As Pwalo says - the Onion is a satirical website which takes the piss out on recent news and other relevant subjects.


It is if you get hit by one! Drink Drivers are a menace and an unnecessary danger to the rest of us on the roads.

I will never forget my Mum failing to come home on the morning of my 10th birthday because of drink driving. Instead I had to go see her in Hospital recovering from massive injuries.

Mate, my comment was aimed at Bad Jelly's comment about none being that stupid. I just used the argument - that since drink driving IS a problem, there are people THAT stupid.

While I consider drink driving a big issue that needs dealing with - it isn't a holy subject that I can not laugh at.

[musicman]

in the (offbeat) news


WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the National Institutes of Health, 93 percent of those who get behind the wheel while intoxicated arrive at their homes safe and sound, just like they told everybody they would. "Most of these people are barely even buzzed, and 87 percent of the time they're driving primarily on back roads for distances of like, eight miles, tops," said the study's lead author, Dr. Henry Tillman, adding that the vast majority of inebriated drivers stuck with only beer all night, so they were totally fine. "Roughly 64 percent of drunk drivers have cousins who are cops anyway, so it's really no big deal." The study concluded that a mere one in 15 drunk drivers end up dying in a cascading torrent of fire, so, you know, odds.


http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/report_93_of_drunk_drivers

As soon as I saw the "... like, eight miles, tops," it was pretty obvious that this wasn't a real study, even not knowing anything about The Onion. :lol:

[Mikkel]

As soon as I saw the "... like, eight miles, tops," it was pretty obvious that this wasn't a real study, even not knowing anything about The Onion. :lol:

Yes, it's stuff like that which makes it a real gem :D

[Genestho]

It is taking the piss - so just relax :) As Pwalo says - the Onion is a satirical website which takes the piss out on recent news and other relevant subjects.

While I consider drink driving a big issue that needs dealing with - it isn't a holy subject that I can not laugh at.

Totally Mikkel, I can see that, I guess as one the many many people affected by drink drivers killing our loved ones, for me TWICE in my lifetime already, it provokes thought , while you can laugh at it, some of us can not.

It is a serious subject for some of us that have had our lives smashed into.


Im afraid dude that when I have to hear one of my wee sons talking about Dad in heaven, and when we die we will see him.. And asking me that surely the "BAD MAN did not mean to break Dad and Simons bikes, or make them go away for ever, I will not laugh about the subject again, and I think nothing of dissecting a piss taking "study" like that, relevant or not. I jumped in this post feet first both willingly and knowingly.

But hey, good on you for posting it, maybe some needed a laugh and a lightening up of the subject.

[Swoop]

The concern should also be directed at the small fact that the majority of NZ road deaths are from stone cold sober drivers.

Great driving skills, superb training of new drivers, excellent testing of drivers... Mmm. Tui Time.

[FJRider]

Sorry I shouldve added:

Only in America - would there be a sensless and ridiculous study (yet strangely informative) paid for by taxpayers

Census New Zealand Question results...???

[EJK]

If one in every hundred people, that drives away from ANY pub in New Zealand is over the legal limit...thats a lot of unsafe drivers that we share the road with.
If in New Zealand, only 50% of drunk drivers get home safely...count the number caught/crash and thats the scarey bit if the same number are/were out there and didn't...

Hes right. Flip the stats. 7% of Drunk Drivers Crash. May involve other innocent drivers?
100 drunk drive out each night... You do the math?? :oi-grr:

[FJRider]

No, but it as satarical as it is, it does provoke thought!

and if people are thinking... I see no DOWNSIDE to this "satire"... :calm:

[mstriumph]

Oh good god, what next?!
... 98% of left-handed unmarried french surfers that have unprotected sex in moving vehicles come home safely [one way or another ....]??:innocent:

[FJRider]

... 98% of left-handed unmarried french surfers that have unprotected sex in moving vehicles come home safely [one way or another ....]??:innocent:

....that's a relief !!!

[Genestho]

....that's a relief !!!

lol definately - in more ways than one!

[FJRider]

... 98% of left-handed unmarried french surfers that have unprotected sex in moving vehicles come home safely [one way or another ....]??:innocent:

Whats the stats' for the right hander's ...???:innocent:

[mstriumph]

Whats the stats' for the right hander's ...???:innocent:
left behind? :sunny:

[BiK3RChiK]

Totally Mikkel, I can see that, I guess as one the many many people affected by drink drivers killing our loved ones, for me TWICE in my lifetime already, it provokes thought , while you can laugh at it, some of us can not.

It is a serious subject for some of us that have had our lives smashed into.


Im afraid dude that when I have to hear one of my wee sons talking about Dad in heaven, and when we die we will see him.. And asking me that surely the "BAD MAN did not mean to break Dad and Simons bikes, or make them go away for ever, I will not laugh about the subject again, and I think nothing of dissecting a piss taking "study" like that, relevant or not. I jumped in this post feet first both willingly and knowingly.

But hey, good on you for posting it, maybe some needed a laugh and a lightening up of the subject.

I totally agree with this! Bling awarded... I was involved in a head-on collision with a drunk driver that totally destroyed both vehicles. The drunk driver was never prosecuted, but was left almost dead and I have life-long injuries from this crash. I fail to see the satire of drunk drive piss takes like this too...

[Forest]

Here's an example of what can happen in America.

Man gets life in prison as punishment for 10th DUI conviction.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/metro/5932916.html

[candor]

The concern should also be directed at the small fact that the majority of NZ road deaths are from stone cold sober drivers.



:nono: According to a recent report supplied by Police; between June 2004 and July 2007 52% of over 627 deceased NZ drivers had consumed alcohol or drugs classified as risk raising.

156 were drunk (most not solely)
193 had active cannabis metabolites aboard (correlates to impairment)

81 of the drivers (the majority) had used both alcohol and cannabis raising their risk and ours to that sky high one seen at double the alcohol limit.
Other risk drugs like P made up the balance

Haven't checked the article out as I gather it was fake?
But reputable anti drink driving websites in the U.S give these stats;

Odds for a frequent flying high alcohol driver of causing serious injury per decade of offending = 1 in 10

Odds of a kill in a decade for clean / sobre drivers = 1 in 1500
" for a round the limit driver = 1 in 500
" for a regular high alcohol driver = 1 in 30

So it seems the "joke" study may have the risks just a little underestimated - or that (if it's real) that differences in the safety of vehicles or of roads over there are producing different risks than the website quotes. The fact severely drunk drivers can usually average about 5000kms before having any kind of scrape is what gives them confidence in their abilities - there are usually many scrapes too before a major, if one is on their or a victim cards.

What I'd like to know is how many of our deceased impaired drivers were RECIDIVISTS (ones that had been caught). Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice.. or is it up to 30x for some who retain licenses and shame on the system.

My brother has a solution he was once quite serious about given the incompetence of legal remedies - he wanted to form a squad to deflate tyres of known menaces - recidivistically :clap:

[Sanx]

I totally agree with this! Bling awarded... I was involved in a head-on collision with a drunk driver that totally destroyed both vehicles. The drunk driver was never prosecuted, but was left almost dead and I have life-long injuries from this crash. I fail to see the satire of drunk drive piss takes like this too...

OK, so you don't find satire on this topics funny. And the next person doesn't find satire on religion funny. And the next satire about his / her chosen political party. And the next person about their chosen sexual preference. And the next person about racial characteristics.

So ... what's your answer? Ban all satirical publications because whatever they write may offend someone?

My sister was almost killed by a drunk driver. Drink driving is something I abhor. But the article is still funny.

[CB ARGH]

So out of a hundred people at the club or bar, seven of them are gonners. Wow, awesome information there.

[Genestho]

OK, so you don't find satire on this topics funny. And the next person doesn't find satire on religion funny. And the next satire about his / her chosen political party. And the next person about their chosen sexual preference. And the next person about racial characteristics.

So ... what's your answer? Ban all satirical publications because whatever they write may offend someone?

My sister was almost killed by a drunk driver. Drink driving is something I abhor. But the article is still funny.

Erm neither religion (in this country) is a problem killing nz'ers, neither political parties (in this country) have high stats of killing nz'ers, neither sexual or racial preferences are killing nz'ers.

It shows right there, how you equate this menace on our roads behind one tonne killing machines with unequal subject matters.

My point was (is?), post what you want, but dont always expect a feel
good response when you joke about the subject, with the attitude of;

hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil when a serious reponse is given


Everyone is entitled to an opinion, noted and understood, and the take the piss/serious side has been given

Its quite healthy to provoke thought and debate, otherwise we're nothing but drones

[BIHB@0610]

So ... what's your answer? Ban all satirical publications because whatever they write may offend someone?


Point taken but I don't think the solution is for all of us to sit quietly on our hands with regard to whatever satire might provoke us into meaningful discussion. Robust debate is necessary on any topic. There are obviously some differing opinions in this thread but I really like the tone of it, some passionate, intelligent people respectfully begging to differ.

As you were :niceone:

[FJRider]

So out of a hundred people at the club or bar, seven of them are gonners. Wow, awesome information there.

Out of a hundred people at the club or bar, that drive after drinking, seven of them are gonners (according to stat's). slightly different.

[Swoop]

According to a recent report supplied by Police; between June 2004 and July 2007 52% of over 627 deceased NZ drivers had consumed alcohol or drugs classified as risk raising.

2004 (http://www.transport.govt.nz/road-toll1/) = 435
2005 = 405
2006 = 391
2007 = 416 (http://www.ltsa.govt.nz/research/toll.html)

So the police report is claiming 627 deaths over that timespan when 1647 was the true figure according to LTSA/Transit?
If they can't get that bit right then how can anyone be sure of the accuracy of "deaths by sober drivers"?

[candor]

2004 (http://www.transport.govt.nz/road-toll1/) = 435
2005 = 405
2006 = 391
2007 = 416 (http://www.ltsa.govt.nz/research/toll.html)

So the police report is claiming 627 deaths over that timespan when 1647 was the true figure according to LTSA/Transit?
?

The report is not dealing with all toll deaths. Only "deceased DRIVERS".
Over half were impaired by substances - maybe the other 48% by fatigue, age, youth or whatever. Almost all crashes are caused by the human part of the system. Mechanical stuff and weather etc accounts for a tiny percent.
So it seems while intelligent vehicles are in the research phase.... we have to depend on the good faith of others as well as our own best efforts... while doing something odd most of us weren't like jaguar cats evolved to do (bigcats don't crash).

Basicly the Police report proves that LTNZs speed is the number 1 contributing or causal factor is 100% BS - that honor must go to intoxicated driving. Unfortunately the speed stuck record is BS the advertising standards authority won't step in to punish them for. As ASA say a court ruling found they had no jurisdiction over advertising by LTNZ, as it has been deemed to have expert status... so can BS us as much as it likes without being called.
IMO a country that puts some corporations above the law to support political agendas is fascistly inclined. Did we win the war - really?

PS - I add support to those saying road crime is not fair game for comedy. There is black humour in many trades and places, but some stuff is and ought be off limits eg rape, child molestering, animal cruelty and road violence are the main ones I can think of. Altho I have seen jokes re some such subjects made even here at KB

One can say that there are other road safety issues than DUI - but there is no good taste however in cracking funnies about DUI to make the point. I'm not PC - I just think such "humour" tends to trivialise what should always be emphasised as a serious and important matter. To some dolts if a matter is seen as able to be joked about it's gravity WILL be lessened in their assessment. And therefore more likely to occur. If jokes about rape / jews / blacks etc can help create a climate of increasingly toxic behaviour, the same can surely occur for road safety. I might be wrong about that but - well it's just my view.