Fear rides a Vespa

[Hitcher]

Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear fame shares his thoughts on motorcycles in this article.

Enjoy.

(The Times link is attached. This column was republished in this morning's Sunday Star Times.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/driving/jeremy_clarkson/article4963194.ece

[PrincessBandit]

I love Jeremy Clarkson, and I was wiping the tears from my eyes as I read that column. Very funny.

[Number One]

I'm just disturbed that he refers to a vespa as a 'motorcycle'

[James Deuce]

I've just spent 15 minutes downstairs looking for my steering wheel.

[Donor]

My god.

I am such a disappointment to Mr Clarkson...

All those naughty CC's and all that evil time spent rubber side down... clearly I am one evil son of a bitch!

[Ocean1]

Very good.

Can't help but think that the local postmistress might have been a better bet after all...

[martybabe]

That was a good read thanks, I shouldn't really like him as he's a well known bike hater from ages ago but what the heck, he's funny.

Interestingly, both his co-presenters are motorbike enthusiasts, in fact the Hamster writes for bike mags and has a garage full of lovely stuff.

Rumour has it that Mr Clarkson has such influence at the BBC and such Hatred for bikes, that he won't allow the other two to present anything to do with bikes on the show, who knows.

I like to think his love of cars is such that he would hate to see the exotica he tests owned by cheap as chips bikes, week in week out.

Anyway, I witter too much, thanks again. :niceone:

[nallac]

haha for a man who hates (umm,not a strong enough word)...detests
bikes i love his sense of humour. i was laughing all the way thru that review.

who wouldn't love his job.

[Bonez]

I'm just disturbed that he refers to a vespa as a 'motorcycle'
You missed this bit then "That’s why I chose to test the Vespa, which is much loathed by trainspotting bikers because they say it is a scooter."

[Motig]

It was good for a laugh I thought. I do wonder if he actually rode it tho, his whole article sounded more like he spent his time looking at it to equate its features with a car just for laughs.

[Swoop]

I do wonder if he actually rode it tho
The photograph seems to answer that question.
He certainly does look like a plonker in that getup!

[Motig]

Photo ???????

[James Deuce]

Photo ???????
This one. From the top of the article.

<img src=http://www.timesonline.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00416/vespa385_416447a.jpg>

[MSTRS]

Rumour has it that Mr Clarkson has such influence at the BBC and such Hatred for bikes, that he won't allow the other two to present anything to do with bikes on the show, who knows.


Nearly...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaWoo82zNUA

[Motig]

Well that explains why I didn't see it. Was going by the Sunday Times article.:lol:

[martybabe]

Nearly...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaWoo82zNUA

Wow, that's an impressive motor, if I had $90,000 it would be on my wish list, I still found myself willing the bike to kick it's ass though.

Be good if they had more of that stuff on eh, a race between things of equal value would be good, erm a GSXr 1000 rrrrr and a Hyundai Getz maybe. :clap:

[Flip]

Clarkson erks me.

[jrandom]

Chortle, chortle.

Clarkson is, of course, completely correct.

[MSTRS]

Clarkson is, of course, completely correct.

About what? That a bike will not beat a car with a similar hp/weight? Which is a yes...it won't beat the car.

[jrandom]

About what?

All of it.

"all motorcycle instructors are called Dave"

Too right. Even Qkchk is called Dave.

"A word of warning, though. If you use only the front brake, you will fly over the steering wheel and be killed. If you try to use the back one, you will use the wrong foot and change into third gear instead of stopping."

Self-evident.

"Imagining that you can ride a bike because you can drive a car is like imagining you can swallow-dive off a 90ft cliff because you can play table tennis."

I couldn't have put it better myself.

"However, many people are making the switch because they imagine that having a small motorcycle will be cheap. It isn’t."

Thinking that bikes are cheap transport is a common misconception. They're not. They're machines that people with spare cash use to turn petrol into awesomeness.

"So, once you have decided that you would like a bike, the next problem is choosing which one. And the simple answer is that, whatever you select, you will be a laughing stock."

So much wisdom in so few words.

"Mostly, this has something to do with “getting your knee down”, which is a practice undertaken by bikers moments before the crash that ends their life."

I dare you to disagree.

"I therefore hated my experience of motorcycling and would not recommend it to anyone."

Amen, Brother Clarkson. We don't want your audience riding motorcycles, either.

[Bonez]

All of it.
[I]
"all motorcycle instructors are called Dave"Lets not forgot those who want the be one are called Steve ;)

[oldrider]

Most enjoyable but as in "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", I personally behold my motorcycle! :love: Fuck the Atom, John.

[The Pastor]

All of it.


"Mostly, this has something to do with “getting your knee down”, which is a practice undertaken by bikers moments before the crash that ends their life."

I dare you to disagree.




as far as i know skidmark is still alive!

[AllanB]

Hes a funny man but a tosser when it comes to motorcycles. From watching topgear has has not got the ability to ride a motorcycle - hes all ham fisted and indeed would probably kill himself!

The problem with that article is than Sue Bradford or some Greenie will read it and start looking into what they can do to slow down these evil machines.