Fu#k my cat stinks.

[98tls]

Some may recall my "Spca cat from hell turns out a big softy" thread,all has been good until just lately:doh:See hes of the Hairy kind and it seems dont give a toss if he carries a bit of his own waste round in the vicinity of his arse:Oi:and fuck it stinks:nono:grabbed some welding gloves and tried giving him a shower but methinks i should have put a wetsuit on cause the fucker went ballistic and i thought it better for all involved if i just opened the door and let him fuck off and think about it awhile,since hes returned home ive approached him with the scissors but the look in his eye spelt trouble so ive returned them to the drawer,my dog i guess is hoping that this spells the end for "the clawed one" but hes mistaken,what to do?

[martybabe]

I dunno what you do but it was bloody funny to read. :clap:

Good luck mate.

[stify]

Some may recall my "Spca cat from hell turns out a big softy" thread,all has been good until just lately:doh:See hes of the Hairy kind and it seems dont give a toss if he carries a bit of his own waste round in the vicinity of his arse:Oi:and fuck it stinks:nono:grabbed some welding gloves and tried giving him a shower but methinks i should have put a wetsuit on cause the fucker went ballistic and i thought it better for all involved if i just opened the door and let him fuck off and think about it awhile,since hes returned home ive approached him with the scissors but the look in his eye spelt trouble so ive returned them to the drawer,my dog i guess is hoping that this spells the end for "the clawed one" but hes mistaken,what to do?

wipe the poor fuckers arse when it has a dump....wot's with wearing welding gloves,wot a pussy :bleh:

[Daffyd]

Chuch him in the front loader...delicate cycle should do it! :eek:

[Skyryder]

Ring SPCA they might have an answer.


Skyryder

[98tls]

Ring SPCA they might have an answer.


Skyryder :doh:Do the right thing and i get shat on.:nono:

[Skyryder]

I dunno what you do but it was bloody funny to read. :clap:

Good luck mate.

Yep nothing like cat stink to make a laugh:eek:...................but only if its someone elses cat.:rolleyes:

Skyryder

[98tls]

wipe the poor fuckers arse when it has a dump....wot's with wearing welding gloves,wot a pussy :bleh: Mate this thing is not fond of water it seems,funny really as it spends plenty of time gazing into the fish pond:doh:

[piston broke]

Mate this thing is not fond of water it seems,funny really as it spends plenty of time gazing into the fish pond:doh:
yeah but it's lookin at the water with a different eye

[Winston001]

Here ya go, have a scroll through this, lots of advice and not a single mention of a welding glove......:devil2:

http://kitten.com.my/forum/behaviour/762-cat-poo-poo.html

[nallac]

man, i hate stinking pussys too.

[Daffyd]

man, i hate stinking pussys too.

I was wondering how long it would be.

[stify]

Mate this thing is not fond of water it seems,funny really as it spends plenty of time gazing into the fish pond:doh:

they is a funny breed....wouldn't swap me spca moggy for anything...he's a farkin mint cat:niceone:

[Skyryder]

Here ya go, have a scroll through this, lots of advice and not a single mention of a welding glove......:devil2:

http://kitten.com.my/forum/behaviour/762-cat-poo-poo.html

Don't forget to wear a nose peg. I could smell the stench from the forum. Nothing on there about controlling the cat. You could ring the local Chinese.takeaway.......they might have some ideas on this...........like a permanent solution:dodge:

Skyryder

[Trudes]

If it's because there's a lot of fluff around his bum it could be getting stuck in it. Maybe give your pussy a little trim or pin it down and shave it!

[98tls]

If it's because there's a lot of fluff around his bum it could be getting stuck in it. Maybe give your pussy a little trim or pin it down and shave it! :doh:No shit Trudes,mate you come over and try and pin it down,going back to the original thread on this cat,it wasnt in segregation for nothing,when it gets fucked off the whole street knows about it,serious,when i turned the shower on and it went off the fucken dog lept off the couch and pissed off outside.

[stify]

You could ring the local Chinese.takeaway.......they might have some ideas on this...........like a permanent solution:dodge:

Skyryder

well that's just put me chicken fried rice plans for tea tonight on hold

[98tls]

Don't forget to wear a nose peg. I could smell the stench from the forum. Nothing on there about controlling the cat. You could ring the local Chinese.takeaway.......they might have some ideas on this...........like a permanent solution:dodge:

Skyryder Now your talking,Chinese = suitcase,hmmmm food for thought.:innocent:

[scumdog]

If it's because there's a lot of fluff around his bum it could be getting stuck in it. Maybe give your pussy a little trim or pin it down and shave it!

I concur.

Head into a gumboot (the cats, NOT yours!), leather gloves, sharp scissors and crutch the little bugger..
And don't forget to sterilize the scissors afterwards.

[98tls]

I concur.

Head into a gumboot (the cats, NOT yours!), leather gloves, sharp scissors and crutch the little bugger..
And don't forget to sterilize the scissors afterwards. When your passing through by all means call in and try mate,me and the dog are quite happy to watch.Mate this is the real deal and far nastier than some outta line Balcluthein with to much black sambuca in his gut.Bring a taser eh.

[Trumpess]

:clap: Oh tooo funny!!

You might have to cage him, take him to a vet and they can surgically remove the hair for you!

I thought you may have learnt during childhood that cats and water don't mix, let alone sissors :lol:

[Mom]

Head in gumboot is a good one, we castrated pigs once by putting them heads into a 44 gal drum...:shit: I once had to bath a cat that had fallen into a drum of waste oil, I am sure I still have the scars.

Take the cat to the vet mate, get him/her to remove offending solid matter from fanny fur. Cat will hate him not you. At least there is a solution, our friggen cat just innocently farts, but nothing removes that odour, it sticks to your nostril hairs for hours :yes:

[1 Free Man]

Some may recall my "Spca cat from hell turns out a big softy" thread,all has been good until just lately:doh:See hes of the Hairy kind and it seems dont give a toss if he carries a bit of his own waste round in the vicinity of his arse:Oi:and fuck it stinks:nono:grabbed some welding gloves and tried giving him a shower but methinks i should have put a wetsuit on cause the fucker went ballistic and i thought it better for all involved if i just opened the door and let him fuck off and think about it awhile,since hes returned home ive approached him with the scissors but the look in his eye spelt trouble so ive returned them to the drawer,my dog i guess is hoping that this spells the end for "the clawed one" but hes mistaken,what to do?
Don't be wasteful man!! rub it's arse on the inside of your visor it's supposed to stop it fogging up.:niceone: or you could cut of a nob of shit and carry it around in your jacket pocket for those foogy moments that you didn't allow for.:lol:

[Pussy]

I concur with Mom, Mike! A visit to the vet is required. Cat thinks the vet is a cunt, and you're the hero in the cat's eyes when you take him home

[PrincessBandit]

Well I'm going to be Mrs. Serious here. Is the cat healthy otherwise? If it's something that's only started recently it could be a sign of a tummy upset or other such health issue.
The only time we were gagging like a skunk had sprayed us (oops, sorry Skunk) was when our dog returned home from a walk down the beach having rolled in decomposing seagull. Even my husband, who has a cast iron constitution when it comes to shitty smells, could barely stop himself from throwing up.

[98tls]

Well I'm going to be Mrs. Serious here. Is the cat healthy otherwise? If it's something that's only started recently it could be a sign of a tummy upset or other such health issue.
The only time we were gagging like a skunk had sprayed us (oops, sorry Skunk) was when our dog returned home from a walk down the beach having rolled in decomposing seagull. Even my husband, who has a cast iron constitution when it comes to shitty smells, could barely stop himself from throwing up. Yep hes well healthy mate,currently upside down on the floor in the lounge happily zzzzzzzzz.As for his stomach its full of Whiskas best.Thinking i may well wait until hes truely in the land of nod don the camo gear and approach offending rear end with scissors drawn.:devil2:

[Pussy]

Best of luck.... sounds like you're going to need it!

[98tls]

Best of luck.... sounds like you're going to need it! Cheers mate,might just duck out and borrow the local churches cross and whilst there fill a bottle with Holy water in case it wakes up mid snip.

[Pussy]

One of our four cats is a bastard to give a worm tablet to... I've normally got to visit A & E for a blood transfusion after any attempt I make to administer one

[enigma51]

When your passing through by all means call in and try mate,me and the dog are quite happy to watch.Mate this is the real deal and far nastier than some outta line Balcluthein with to much black sambuca in his gut.Bring a taser eh.

We have one cat that hates water the trick is to get it in the shower with you and dont turn it on full blown power and make sure it cold for you but not cold at the first touch.

Make sure you dont let it get close to you either ie want to find shelter using you as a climbing pole and speak to it in a calm manner. So be firm but kind.



And it might pay to clip the claws a little before the time and afterwards a treat like raw meat or something

PS My wife is still laughing I might need to get a doctor cause i dont think she's not going to stop.

[98tls]

One of our four cats is a bastard to give a worm tablet to... I've normally got to visit A & E for a blood transfusion after any attempt I make to administer one 2 words mate,welding gloves........they dont work.:doh:

[Pussy]

2 words mate,welding gloves........they dont work.:doh:
I'm actually a boilermaker/welder by trade, and I've still got all my kit including a welding jacket from before I went full time flying some 20 odd years ago... tried that to, bloody hopeless. All we get is a cat with a smug look on it's face and me torn to shreds

[enigma51]

Dogs have owners cats have terrorist that occasionaly feeds them

[98tls]

We have one cat that hates water the trick is to get it in the shower with you and dont turn it on full blown power and make sure it cold for you but not cold at the first touch.

Make sure you dont let it get close to you either ie want to find shelter using you as a climbing pole and speak to it in a calm manner. So be firm but kind.



And it might pay to clip the claws a little before the time and afterwards a treat like raw meat or something

PS My wife is still laughing I might need to get a doctor cause i dont think she's not going to stop. Mate your winding me up?I speak to it and it hissssis back in tongues,thinking i would be better off spraying his arse with air freshner and adopting the "live and let live" thing.

[enigma51]

Mate your winding me up?I speak to it and it hissssis back in tongues,thinking i would be better off spraying his arse with air freshner and adopting the "live and let live" thing.

No but i would love to read the story after you come out of hospital :bleh:

[98tls]

I'm actually a boilermaker/welder by trade, and I've still got all my kit including a welding jacket from before I went full time flying some 20 odd years ago... tried that to, bloody hopeless. All we get is a cat with a smug look on it's face and me torn to shreds My riding gear hasnt been cleaned for years so maybe don that grab the bastard and hit the shower,visor down.:niceone:

[Pussy]

Dogs have owners cats have terrorist that occasionaly feeds them
We're just staff to the four furry little bastards that occupy our house....

[98tls]

No but i would love to read the story after you come out of hospital :bleh: May well be my imagination but my dog keeps lookin at my lighter as if to say "burn the fucker".:wacko:

[Pussy]

My riding gear hasnt been cleaned for years so maybe don that grab the bastard and hit the shower,visor down.:niceone:

Been nice knowing you, Mike.... we'll miss you!

[enigma51]

We're just staff to the four furry little bastards that occupy our house....

4? fuck that i said no after our girl cat she's a real women alright!

[Pussy]

4? fuck that i said no after our girl cat she's a real women alright!
Yep, Four! Me and Gassit Girl are suckers for cats. They rule our house, however

[enigma51]

Yep, Four! Me and Gassit Girl are suckers for cats. They rule our house, however

If i must leave the wife to her own devices we will have a zoo at ours. I can already see monty licking lips at the chickens and bunny's and his sister not far behind claws at a ready...... I think she's practicing already

[FJRider]

My riding gear hasnt been cleaned for years so maybe don that grab the bastard and hit the shower,visor down.:niceone:

Hope the visor's not tinted...

[98tls]

Heres the offending article,talk about the "2 faces of eve" heres the "2 faces of Jingles" Even surrounded by flowers the fucker has an air of evilness.Note in the second pic the dog trying to lie low on his ole couch.

[enigma51]

Hope the visor's not tinted...

If it aint it will have a red glow to it afterwards

[enigma51]

Heres the offending article,talk about the "2 faces of eve" heres the "2 faces of Jingles"

I hope you realize that fluffy tail means im fucked off and you will die infidel!

[Pussy]

I hope you realize that fluffy tail means im fucked off and you will die infidel!
And they're generally not joking, either!

[98tls]

I hope you realize that fluffy tail means im fucked off and you will die infidel! Yep even the dogs worked that out mate.

[enigma51]

Yep even the dogs worked that out mate.

We have one of those hairless cats and even he can fluff up his tail aaaaaaaaaaand then you run ........................ or go to the pub for a beer give it some time to think

[98tls]

We have one of those hairless cats and even he can fluff up his tail aaaaaaaaaaand then you run ........................ or go to the pub for a beer give it some time to think Maybe the dogs onto something then with the constant staring at the lighter,clever bastards Border Collies.;)

[98tls]

These guys take Visa.:eek:http://www.medievalware.com/

[Ixion]

The "rotten egg" smell often noticed on vehicles fitted with cats is usually caused by an over rich mixture. If you notice it other than immediately after start up, check your fueling or jetting.

Alterniatively, simply remove the cat and throw it away!

[Trumpess]

Soooo ... are you gonna do it? When you gonna do it or have you done it? Attempted?
Will it be done this evening? Will it be done at all?

I need an outcome here ... please?
Before its bed time!!
I would like to keep my coffee in the cup in the morning!

[98tls]

Soooo ... are you gonna do it? When you gonna do it or have you done it? Attempted?
Will it be done this evening? Will it be done at all?

I need an outcome here ... please?
Before its bed time!!
I would like to keep my coffee in the cup in the morning! Hes off out for his nightly..........whatever cats do when they go off..at night.Hopefully hes got a girlfriend somewhere that may point out his recent additions.

[Pussy]

Soooo ... are you gonna do it? When you gonna do it or have you done it? Attempted?
Will it be done this evening? Will it be done at all?

I need an outcome here ... please?
Before its bed time!!
I would like to keep my coffee in the cup in the morning!
I reckon he's too chicken to take the cat on. It's all internet bravado!

[FJRider]

Note in the second pic the dog trying to lie low on his ole couch.

The dog aint stupid... he knows somebody is going to bleed. He's just making sure its not going to be him..Blood stains are a barstard to get out of fur.....

[martybabe]

Hes off out for his nightly..........whatever cats do when they go off..at night.


I think they sharpen their claws when they go off at night :lol: :argh:

[Trumpess]

Hes off out for his nightly..........whatever cats do when they go off..at night.Hopefully hes got a girlfriend somewhere that may point out his recent additions.



:doh:

and they can be awhile.

Oh well, I'll make sure my coffee in the morning is not to hot!
Just incase the event happens when I'm not looking.

[98tls]

I reckon he's too chicken to take the cat on. It's all internet bravado! Damn straight mate,would rather be an interweb wimp than take the fucken thing on.:lol:

[Pussy]

Damn straight mate,would rather be an interweb wimp than take the fucken thing on.:lol:
I'm with you on that! Better a live coward than a torn-to-shreds hero! :niceone:

[FJRider]

Damn straight mate,would rather be an interweb wimp than take the fucken thing on.:lol:

Me too, I hate the sight of blood... especially when it is (could be) my own...

[martybabe]

Sweet little pussy cats. mmmmmmmm





<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mBMG4RuKzZ4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mBMG4RuKzZ4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[98tls]

Sweet little pussy cats. mmmmmmmm





<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mBMG4RuKzZ4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mBMG4RuKzZ4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Yep,probably a cousin or something of my model.

[fire eyes]

crackin up laughing :laugh:

[Gremlin]

Pity you don't live up here... I would give a crack at cat wrestling...

Hardest thing is just catching it to begin with :niceone:

[barty5]

good read and a good laugh cant you get a sleeping pill from the vet for travel reasons? or do you have to take cats in to get those which i guess will present further problems. or while hes asleep tose large blanket ova him then real quick wrap him up to hide the claws. Done it a few time with some of the local gats that come in at night then forget where the hell the cat door is and run round running in to doors tryin to get out (which is real funny to watch)

[Mom]

Hes off out for his nightly..........whatever cats do when they go off..at night.

Ours goes out and gets rats for our viewing pleasure :yes: Friggen thing got one last night, I was just going out for my last ciggie and see the cat jump up on the fence with one in her mouth. It was a race between us to see who could get to the cat flap first, me to lock it, or her to come in an d release said rat for her entertainment.

I won :sweatdrop

[nodrog]

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2004/05/29/30WINCHESTER,0.jpg

[kave]

Showering a cat is a two man job, expect both of you to get wet. Many layers of clothing, leather gloves and a great deal of testicular fortitude are required. Remember that normal soap or shampoo will be really bad for your cat and strips all the oils from their fur that they need. Get a proper cat shampoo from the vets ($30ish). I recently had to shower my cat for the first time, and he is a big bugger, more than capable of inflicting serious injuries. Here are some pics from my experience.

[Gremlin]

Thats one pissed off moggy :clap:

btw... you guys do all realise that cat ownership is not compulsory?

[Swoop]

98tls. STOP EVERYTHING!!!
Please go and phone a film company, this could make you a fortune. The plotting and planning, subterfuge and cunning required, would be better than any TV viewing on at the moment!!!


The "rotten egg" smell often noticed on vehicles fitted with cats is usually caused by an over rich mixture. If you notice it other than immediately after start up, check your fueling or jetting.

Alterniatively, simply remove the cat and throw it away!
I found that gutting it and placing it where one would normally find it, works best.:whistle:

I'm with you on that! Better a live coward than a torn-to-shreds hero! :niceone:
Aww! C-mon... Just think of the "pub stories" that could be told over this. "No shit! There I was. Thought I was gonna die!"...

[enigma51]

Thats one pissed off moggy :clap:

btw... you guys do all realise that cat ownership is not compulsory?

No its not ..... and the cat makes your aware of it on a daily basis

[Wiki Drifter]

Excerpts From A Dog & Cats Diary:

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary

DAY 201 OF MY CAPTIVITY

I'm unsure of my ability to survive as a captive and have made several attempts to break out. At first, it was simple enough to circle my captors feet, in a surreptitious manner, as they opened the front door. I would then bolt from them through the door to freedom. But, to no avail - they caught me in a manner of minutes - my legs are not as fast as they used to be and I grow weak with continued imprisonment. What is worse is that since the first attempt, I have now found myself separated from the living room. My captors are much more intelligent than originally anticipated...

For entertainment, I have taken to terrorizing the dogs by sitting on the kitchen table and swiping at them with my long nails. The dogs are obvious half-wits. They know very little about my skills as a hunter, and are forbidden by my captors to attack me. The dogs grow more irritated each day.

I have found my captors are easy to manipulate in many ways, but outdoor access remains elusive. I have not lost hope, however, and have every intention of escaping this horrid place one-day soon...

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan ...

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

DAY 801 - My captors have completely eliminated my canned food and replaced it with dry kibble, claiming that it is better for my health. The wet food was the only thing I looked forward too, and now even that has been taken from me. I have discovered, however, that the dry food serves to create sharper points on my teeth, and keeps them stronger. I must force myself to consume it, regardless of the taste.

Each morning, they read pages of what is called a newspaper. I found that it is particularly annoying to my captors if I lie on it while they read. Shredding the newspaper is also a particular peeve of theirs, and I have taken delight in doing this before they awake each morning.

My captors have now obtained a "fish tank" - which serves to make up for part of my loss in the food department. While the little creatures are tiny, they are quite tasty. They have yet to replace the two small fish that I have consumed. I must think of a way to make them notice the loss.

The bird continues to mock me. Its little metal room has proven stronger than originally anticipated...

[98tls]

Suitation resolved,his arse still stinks and im staying in the kitchen.<_<:done:

[Winston001]

Just a little extension.....

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Next Day
8:00am - Dog Food! Again!! My favourite thing!
9:30am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:45am - Arrive at the VET - BUMMER..........:doctor:

[Winston001]

I shower with my Siamese about once every couple of months but he's a lamb compared to your fella. :eek: He's getting old and has mouth infections so gets a bit whiffy. He's not too keen but with no clothes on, he can't climb up on me so just has to be content with giving some very bad language.

I use baby shampoo, one of those flexi shower things at low pressure, and tepid water. We both survive and he smells good for the next while.

Go on 98, be a man, strip off and give it a go. He'll love you for it afterwards...:devil2:

[98tls]

I shower with my Siamese about once every couple of months but he's a lamb compared to your fella. :eek: He's getting old and has mouth infections so gets a bit whiffy. He's not too keen but with no clothes on, he can't climb up on me so just has to be content with giving some very bad language.

I use baby shampoo, one of those flexi shower things at low pressure, and tepid water. We both survive and he smells good for the next while.

Go on 98, be a man, strip off and give it a go. He'll love you for it afterwards...:devil2: Nope,mate he looks comfortable at the mo and ive still got plenty of skin so will leave it at that.:niceone:

[Winston001]

Aw crikey that's just a harmless itty-bitty kitty cat, grab him by the scruff and man up! :msn-wink: Looks just like Silvester. Cute'rn a passel o' pups.

Get him on the lino and hold him down firmly - get the dog to help - maybe he could "eye" the cat for you. :rolleyes:

[FJRider]

I like to hear about brave men... none at your house then... so you calling that.....a draw ???

[98tls]

I like to hear about brave men... none at your house then... so you calling that.....a draw ??? Yea mate,check out the pic,fuckers even winking.:doh:Licking the last bit of arm skin from his claws.

[98tls]

Dog suggested doing this:doh:Bloody freezers to small.

[Reckless]

Oh shit 98 you read all the crap that goes down on KB (off road forum excluded) then you get a gem of a thread like this!!!
Good on ya mate never pissed myself laughing so much!!! 2 or more bourbons might have helped but my ribs are sore!!

But I gots an idea!!

That cat simply needs a Brazilian!!!
Just book it into the local women's, trim your hair everywhere place, turn up at the desk and when they ask for xxx just hand them your pussy!!! Problem solved!!

[FJRider]

You come down and hold it while they do it...

[thehollowmen]

Serious reply : make him have dust baths.

[Swoop]

I shower with my Siamese ... with no clothes on ...
I will have to presume that you draw the curtains prior to gathering up the cat and walking to the bathroom.
Nosy neighbours would be straight on the phone to the SPCA if they spotted you in the buff with an animal...:shit:

Velcro gloves?

[vifferman]

Trade the fucker in on a cat that's not so psycho. It'll be a hard job finding one, but they are around.
My sister even had one that liked showers - used to climb in the shower whenever it was running.
My ex-boss (no, his cat didn't kill him - I just changed jobs) had a really fluffy cat that was so 'excitable' that he had to drug it to have the knots cut out of its fur.

[Finn]

grabbed some welding gloves and tried giving him a shower

Perhaps it's time to use the welder...

[Stirts]

Try some catnip!

Sometimes it will induce a psychosexual response in male and female cats. Being male, he will of course let you play with his bum for quite a wee while.

Some get into silly positions such as on their back with paws extended, gazing up at the ceiling or settle into a dreamy, sleepy silly pose and not move for awhile. Hopefully it will have this effect on him, then you can pick his bum till your hearts content.

[phantom]

One of our cats plays in puddles and once fell in the bath while walking around the edge and trying to touch the water ( doesn't go near the bath now )

[ManDownUnder]

Dag the poor little bugger. If he has long arse hair - just dag him. Not fun but well worth it.

I'll bet he's simply doing a dump (and some cats have more "creative" digestive systems/smells than others - just like us... ) and some of it's getting stuck in the hair around his bum. Quite common in longhairs, especially lilacs from memory

Anyway. The smell ain't the issue - shit stinks. The issue is the reside stuck around his arse. His breath probably smells too right?

Dag him - he'll be happier - you'll be happier and your furniture and carpet will be too...

[magicfairy]

Wrap or roll him up real tight in a towel / blanket, make sure all four legs are trapped. Leave arse sticking out.
Trim, wash as needed.
Best if one person holds, the other person does the deed.
And watch out for bites.

Used to work for my psycho cat.

[FJRider]

Perhaps it's time to use the welder...

The oxy-acetelene one... heat (and lots of it) will cure all that ails it...

[Wiki Drifter]

pfft, you don't need catnip to arouse a cat. Just tap or rub them at the base of their tails. They'll practically bend over for you!

I sound like a dodgy coont eh

[FJRider]

pfft, you don't need catnip to arouse a cat. Just tap or rub them at the base of their tails. They'll practically bend over for you!

I sound like a dodgy coont eh

Works on some women too... (yes you do)

[Trumpess]

Works on some women too... (yes you do)

pft .... and I wanted to read that this hour of the morning! :nono:

[Blossom]

This thread is too funny. Our black plague "smirk" drinks out of the tap. Wont go near the water bowl, hates the cat door (uses the loo window whilst visitors are taking a dump) and prefers to sleep either underneath or on top of your pillow..yes while your using it. Should you shut it out of your room? It will find the child most afraid of it at the time and sleep on that childs bed till you get sick of child crying in fear. Then it will run off just after you get up to go kick it out. 20 mins later it will be back on your pillow purring very freaken loudly.
I dont own my cat. It bloody well owns me.
So far be it for me to tell you how to trim your cats bum dags. I cant get mine to do any thing.

[Swoop]

I dont own my cat. It bloody well owns me.


I cant get mine to do any thing.
There you have it.
Dogs are stupid and therefore can be trained.
Cats are smart bastards and will book you a ticket on a train.

[NC]

Shave your pussy