Stuck in Hell 6, Quoting Camus on Biker site...

[madbikeboy]

It seems to me that others more fortunate in life seem to balance professional lives, personal lives, family lives; I seem to be able to manage only one at a time of the two available to me. I wrote the Stuck in Hell series (for those of you who care) when I was struggling with work balance, sitting in a Dilbert Cubicle hell with a stupid “Office” wannabe as a manager. Since my professional life seems to be working astonishingly well, I guess this instalment of Stuck in Hell must relate to the other life category listed above (I don’t have any family, so that one’s ruled out by cancer and drunks in cars).

Who was the Greek hero who spent his life rolling a huge rock up a hill, only to have it roll down the other side? Written by Camus, Sisyphus is symbolic of man’s futile search for meaning, belonging, and clarity in world devoid of values, eternal truths, or even a God. Camus was asking if there was any point, when there was no deeper meaning, just acts. No longer bound by a hope or vision for a better future or eternity, absolute moral freedom is the result; with little or no meaning there is little point to adhering to common rules or integrity, sanity or common sense.

Devoid of hope, there is hopelessness, and without integrity there is only the painful fall into the abyss of the void. Hopelessness, recklessness; the part we fear most is the animal caged released. We have the capacity for love and honour, but few choose honour or the truth of hearts. In this Brave New World, we have been reprogrammed by want and immediate fix of Soma. Drug me, if you love me, honey, kiss me till I’m in a coma... We carry our burdens of pain and angst quietly for the most, unless we have access to that part of us beyond reason or care.

1000cc’s of fuel injected fun – also a moral compass of sorts. When Jekyll and Hyde are hidden in leather, both come out to play indiscriminately, sense and sensibility unpacked in zip up cow hide. When my internal moral compass is struggling to find north, Scoot reveals my character in a grudgingly honest, almost stark, way. Annoyance with everyone in my way, I’m carrying a bundle of pain in my soul, GIVE me ROOM to pass at velocity where the pain subsides!!! Posh blonde caged in German steel, nose in the air, rolling her window to provide a buffer or chasm between her world of quiet chatter and accountant husband and mine of mechanical cacophony... A quick look, my anger aroused at her scathing rejection of me and what I represent, and soon tire smoke and screaming Yoshi reinforce her stereotype, as well as the audience of waiting cars and pedestrians.

Fuck her, fuck them, it’s Hyde in control, my moral compass swinging in circles, as lost as the hope I used to own. But on reflection, revealing my character or lack thereof, I am Sisyphus with too much horsepower and too little self (or want of) control.

In this moment, I’m stupid, reckless, out of control, and justifying it with the lack of reason or care.

Move aside, give me a wide berth, the weight you see holding me down is my baggage of pain and loathing.

But, ever faithful Scoot warns me, she shakes her head in disgust at my roughness, and she squirms before she steps aside for the longest 3 inch slide to the left in my life. Her moral compass warns me that I need to park up and walk instead.

So, here I sit contemplating life and love, and the erosion of value and values, watching my soul being circled by vultures named calamity and treason, wondering about the meaning of Sisyphus and me – Stuck in Hell again.

[nodrog]

its abit early to be on the crack isnt it bro?

[vifferman]

:blink:

Not really much one can say in response to that.
Perhaps... one could venture to say it's a shame that it's viewed as inappropriate and/or illegal to use a motorbike as an emotional release cum statement of life philosophy.

And you're actually fortunate to be able to manage your personal, professional and family lives, albeit one at a time. I've lost my grip on ALL of them, and every day is a nightmare waiting for the disaster to hit me (emotional/physical meltdown, termination, suicide/abject failure/permanent dependence respectively).

[RantyDave]

Moral compass? I beg to differ. These machines act as alarmingly accurate measures of our desire to experience and belief (well founded or not) of our own skill and attention levels; counterbalanced against the well placed fear and/or knowledge of what it means to fail. Most alarmingly at the end of the day we get an actual number showing our fearlessness on an LCD.

But morality? Nah. Cagers going fast show a lack of morality - a tonne of steel ensuring the majority of the risk is borne by those around rather than the risk taker himself.

Camus at 9AM? You sure you're OK?

Dave

[madbikeboy]

:blink:



And you're actually fortunate to be able to manage your personal, professional and family lives, albeit one at a time. I've lost my grip on ALL of them, and every day is a nightmare waiting for the disaster to hit me (emotional/physical meltdown, termination, suicide/abject failure/permanent dependence respectively).

Thank you for getting it.

[Badjelly]

And you're actually fortunate to be able to manage your personal, professional and family lives, albeit one at a time. I've lost my grip on ALL of them, and every day is a nightmare waiting for the disaster to hit me (emotional/physical meltdown, termination, suicide/abject failure/permanent dependence respectively).

Cheer up. It may never happen. :D

[BOGAR]

You put down in words what I feel about biking and I didn't think it was possible. Interesting reading if a little bit scary. Hope your OK. Thanks :calm:

[vifferman]

Cheer up. It may never happen. :D
One or more of them is bound to, sooner or later. It's like Damocles sword, a huge bucket of shit, and a large blunt guillotine all hovering above me, vying for the chance to be the first to fall. :shit:

[CookMySock]

Fuck all that shit. No part of the world cares what contribution I make to anything, so I just go do as I choose. The world will still be here tomorrow, and next year, and next century, with or without your or my contribution, so let it burn I say. :rockon:

Steve

[madbikeboy]

One or more of them is bound to, sooner or later. It's like Damocles sword, a huge bucket of shit, and a large blunt guillotine all hovering above me, vying for the chance to be the first to fall. :shit:

Nietzche writes that (paraphrasing) the anticipation of an event is worse than the event itself. Damocles was a point being made, that obligation and duty were a sublime responsibility and not a blessing - it is the fundamental lack of understanding that meaning that forced the Sword to be hung.

Sometimes its hard to exhale with the weight of the world on your shoulders (to stretch even more philosophy ravings beyond breaking point).

[madbikeboy]

Fuck all that shit. No part of the world cares what contribution I make to anything, so I just go do as I choose. The world will still be here tomorrow, and next year, and next century, with or without your or my contribution, so let it burn I say. :rockon:

Steve

Proving Camus' point. Thank you.

[Finn]

The only thing I recall my Grandfather ever saying to me was, "If you don't enjoy what you're doing, then enjoy it." He's dead now so I hope he's enjoying it.

Welcome to life. It does suck a bit at times.

[Tank]

Fuck all that shit. No part of the world cares what contribution I make to anything, so I just go do as I choose.


You could always choose to make a selfless and positive contribution to the world - it may not be shouted from the roof tops - but there will be people who appreciate it.

Else you end up a bitter wee thing from Edgecombe.

[Katman]

Else you end up a bitter wee thing from Edgecombe.

What else could possibly come out of Edgecombe?

[vifferman]

The only thing I recall my Grandfather ever saying to me was, "If you don't enjoy what you're doing, then enjoy it."
I don't remember anything my grandfather ever said to me.
Just as well - you wouldn't want to trust someone who drives down a motorway the wrong way...

[PrincessBandit]

Lesson I've learnt in life is deal with what you can deal with at the time, and then deal with the consequences of putting other things on the back burner as and when you are able to do so.
I spent a lot of my life in the past worrying about all sorts of stuff - all with varying degrees of probability of happening. Now I don't bother. I realised that I was primarily the one who was going to end up bitter/crazy/burnt out etc. over things that might never eventuate. I just deal with things as and when they happen while minimising the bad stuff and sucking the most out of the good stuff 'cos you never know when you might lose it all.
I think I need a coffee.

[madbikeboy]

What else could possibly come out of Edgecombe?

No stone throwing on this thread, mmkay.

[laserracer]

Well i read it.. and im sorry but .. but all i can get out of this is ...overthinking is not always a good thing..
but maybe its just me ive never been a deep thinker
more strike first then pickup the pieces ,my life is my life so i just take it as it comes one day at atime..good read though
cheers DAVE

[racerhead]

Whoa thats pretty deep but I get the meaning of the jeckyl and hyde bit which is what my whole life feels like. I used to spend 12-16 hours a day in work 7 days a week and then I just freaked out and decided that enough was enough before I went totaly mental. So what Im doing is changing my life totaly and moving away from everything and anything Ive known but the only thing that will be the same when I start my new life is going to be bikes. Bikes have shown me so many great things in the last while and this is where I see the jeckyl and hyde bit because the bike can bring out all my personalities at any time which is great and finding the time to get out on the bike can be hard but even a few minutes makes a huge difference to my attitude for the whole day no matter what the world throws back in my face. So :headbang: and do your thing

[buellbabe]

I relate to the bike thing, like its an extension of yourself .
When I am riding a different part of me is in in control, the wild side that is usually on the backburner in day-to-day life.

As for the other stuff...interesting read...recently I got to a new rockbottom, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse they DID. I had a bit of a meltdown and the thought actually entered my head that maybe it just wasn't worth the struggle...time to check out.
Well obviously I didn't but just having those thoughts shocked me into trying to make a conscious change in the way I deal with 'shit'. A friend said to me " don't worry about it til it happens". So even though I thought my situation was hopeless I have dealt with my problems one at a time and for the first time in ages I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel ISN'T an oncoming train.

Once you start thinking positive it rubs off in other areas of your life and things just start to fall into place...MAKE things happen, don't just let them happen TO YA...

[Mystic13]

Hi madmikeboy

So, you're a writer, sitting quietly observing the world as writers do, searching for meaning within and contemplating life and love, and the erosion of value and values, watching your soul being circled by vultures named calamity and treason, wondering about the meaning of Sisyphus and me – Stuck in Hell again.

An erosion of values implies that this is happening and that it happens to you and me and we have no control over this. I choose to believe that values don't necessarily need to erode but can grow. I treat the world as I want to be treated, and day after day, week after week I'm confronted by the wonder of the human spirit.

So should life and love be contemplated or just lived, in the moment as if it were the last savouring everything every second.

If I was to contemplate anything it would be how I want to experience life and love and who I want to present to the world.

I did a good deed for someone a week ago that has had a huge impact on their lives and cost me more or less nothing. This last weekend in Napier we rode into town late, the coffe shops had closed and the bars not yet opened and I stopped at a coffee shop where the guy was clearly packing up with charis stacked on tables. We'd just ridden 4 hours and both wwanted a coffee so asked. The guy said he'd celaned up and was closed but ti wouldn't be a problem. The coffee was good and the guy told us where to find the best value accommodation. As we left he gave us two paper bags of baked goods to take with us.

At the hotel we got generous offers of help for a tyre problem. We had offers from another rider of accommodation for the night, bike storage if we had to leave it, he'd even trailer it into the bike shop on Monday. Then a bike shop owner (Mark at Ericksen Honda in Bay View, Napier) came out to his shop on Sunday and opened up to do a tyre replacement for us on his 29th wedding anniversary. He says he never leaves a biker stranded. Top people him and his wife who also came down to the shop.

I choose to live my life by giving, sharing and seeking to enrich the human experience. I find where ever I go that people are doing that everywhere.

We all where some sort of rose coloured glasses and the world is as you see it. The world also is as you make it.

Life's too short to do anything but thoroughly enjoy it.

If you're not enjoying what you do now then that affects your view of the world. Like someone said, enjoy it (or change it so that you do). There seems little point to me in not enjoying what you have. Life's also a lot more fun when you do enjoy what you have. And I have such an incredible life that sometimes I have to wonder if i can prolong it just so i can enjoy it for longer.

There are just so many wonderful people here in NZ and many of them are bikers.

Cheers

[CookMySock]

You could always choose to make a selfless and positive contribution to the worldThats what I have always done. Then I get mocked and ridiculed and everyone else takes whatever they like, laughs, and leaves. I can't "fix" the world - I'll leave that to politics. I'll concentrate on fixing the things that are in my power to fix - many are not.


Lesson I've learnt in life is deal with what you can deal with at the time, and then deal with the consequences of putting other things on the back burner as and when you are able to do so.Yes and no. Potentially you could live your life in permanent "putting out fires" mode - sometimes things have to be fixed properly the first time, if you have any control over them that is..


I did a good deed for someone a week ago that has had a huge impact on their lives and cost me more or less nothing. [....]
I choose to live my life by giving, sharing and seeking to enrich the human experience. I find where ever I go that people are doing that everywhere.Yep. A big boost for self-esteem.

I help everyone, everywhere. A found a couple (in their 80's) a few weeks ago on the side of the road with a hot engine. Two hours of my time, and their car was towed to a workshop and they were driven home. They tried so hard to hide $100 in my car, but I was onto them! ;) Even some of the jerks from KB - I'd stop and sort them out on the side of the road, but I wouldn't eat their food or take their money. All this is for MY OWN benefit of course.. its about me and my self-esteem. Call me selfish, but its my life.

I have a few very good friends who are a completely different story.

Steve

[Badjelly]

Cheer up. It may never happen. :D


One or more of them is bound to, sooner or later. It's like Damocles sword, a huge bucket of shit, and a large blunt guillotine all hovering above me, vying for the chance to be the first to fall. :shit:

Well in that case, I'll fall back on Badjelly's 2nd Law, namely: "When it does happen it may not be as bad as you thought." And the 3rd: "And even it is that bad, what does worrying about it beforehand achieve?"

Or, as PrincessBandit has so eloquently put it in the meantime.


Lesson I've learnt in life is deal with what you can deal with at the time, and then deal with the consequences of putting other things on the back burner as and when you are able to do so.
I spent a lot of my life in the past worrying about all sorts of stuff - all with varying degrees of probability of happening. Now I don't bother. I realised that I was primarily the one who was going to end up bitter/crazy/burnt out etc. over things that might never eventuate. I just deal with things as and when they happen while minimising the bad stuff and sucking the most out of the good stuff 'cos you never know when you might lose it all.
I think I need a coffee.

I'm quite serious, by the way. I have woken up at 2 am worrying about all the shit that was going to happen. And, to a limited extent, shit has happened to me. But the worrying was worse than the shit.

[vifferman]

An erosion of values implies that this is happening and that it happens to you and me and we have no control over this. I choose to believe that values don't necessarily need to erode but can grow. I treat the world as I want to be treated, and day after day, week after week I'm confronted by the wonder of the human spirit.
etc etc.
What a singularly wonderful and inspiring post! :niceone:

[vtec]

I think like you a lot MBB.

I've been sitting in my cubicle in a meaningless job that i hate. Then at performance review I got a hard time about being here but not being "here" in otherwords daydreaming. I figured their right. I've got enough savings to get by for a while. I've quit my job, and I'm coming back to NZ. I'm lucky I've got plenty of people to stay with while I find myself. And work out what the future holds in store for me. Being a bikey bum like GIJoe is looking very tempting, and gas has got a whole lot cheaper so I might last a while longer.

I've had enough track time to know I'm just wasting my time on the road. Plus I don't like to work myself up over pretentious self absorbed bitches, so I plan to stay clear of areas they inhabit. Been surrounded by them for too long now. It's been doing my head in, I'm breaking out.

To anyone feeling like myself and MBB a good movie is "Into the wild". Poignant in these times of societal financial and moral decay.

So out of your three I've currently got none of them sorted MBB, but I'm happier than I've been for a long time. I'm getting back my freedom. How long it will last? I don't know, and I've decided I won't worry, I'll just take it as it comes and enjoy what I've got now.

[Forest]

I don't think that a bike is a moral compass.

A bike allows your character to be revealed, but it does not guide it.

[Headbanger]

The meaning of life is food.

Get a job working outside.

Funny enough in periods of my life when I was...ahem,... reckless, careless and out of control, I didn't demonstrate it by writing on the internet.Doesn't really work.

[DarkLord]

I appreciate the depth of your thinking and the sincerity of your post.

Motorcycles can be an expression of the soul, even to some who may not realise it. Part of riding, I think, is the desire to be DIFFERENT. To see all of those who drive around in cars and appear to not think about anything at all. Generalization, for sure, but it does appear to be that way.

I have found great peace in the solitude of eating up the open road on the bike, it gives me a real space to contemplate the things that matter. I've had many an epiphany regarding life while straddling the two-wheeled beast. (It's only a Hyosung for now, but hey). I've battled many things in my mind (and eventually won) while out on the road.

Motorcycles are good at revealing things about ourselves that we were perhaps unaware of, as you said. They can bring out a side to ourselves we never really knew existed.

Once again, it was good to read your post and good to meet others who obviously think an awful lot!

[Number One]

Dat's right Nodrog.

SAY NO TO CRACK!!!

BTW: very sorry - short attention span and headache - your wall of well typed words hurts too much for me to read.