Stuck in Hell 6, Quoting Camus on Biker site...

[madbikeboy]

It seems to me that others more fortunate in life seem to balance professional lives, personal lives, family lives; I seem to be able to manage only one at a time of the two available to me. I wrote the Stuck in Hell series (for those of you who care) when I was struggling with work balance, sitting in a Dilbert Cubicle hell with a stupid “Office” wannabe as a manager. Since my professional life seems to be working astonishingly well, I guess this instalment of Stuck in Hell must relate to the other life category listed above (I don’t have any family, so that one’s ruled out by cancer and drunks in cars).

Who was the Greek hero who spent his life rolling a huge rock up a hill, only to have it roll down the other side? Written by Camus, Sisyphus is symbolic of man’s futile search for meaning, belonging, and clarity in world devoid of values, eternal truths, or even a God. Camus was asking if there was any point, when there was no deeper meaning, just acts. No longer bound by a hope or vision for a better future or eternity, absolute moral freedom is the result; with little or no meaning there is little point to adhering to common rules or integrity, sanity or common sense.

Devoid of hope, there is hopelessness, and without integrity there is only the painful fall into the abyss of the void. Hopelessness, recklessness; the part we fear most is the animal caged released. We have the capacity for love and honour, but few choose honour or the truth of hearts. In this Brave New World, we have been reprogrammed by want and immediate fix of Soma. Drug me, if you love me, honey, kiss me till I’m in a coma... We carry our burdens of pain and angst quietly for the most, unless we have access to that part of us beyond reason or care.

1000cc’s of fuel injected fun – also a moral compass of sorts. When Jekyll and Hyde are hidden in leather, both come out to play indiscriminately, sense and sensibility unpacked in zip up cow hide. When my internal moral compass is struggling to find north, Scoot reveals my character in a grudgingly honest, almost stark, way. Annoyance with everyone in my way, I’m carrying a bundle of pain in my soul, GIVE me ROOM to pass at velocity where the pain subsides!!! Posh blonde caged in German steel, nose in the air, rolling her window to provide a buffer or chasm between her world of quiet chatter and accountant husband and mine of mechanical cacophony... A quick look, my anger aroused at her scathing rejection of me and what I represent, and soon tire smoke and screaming Yoshi reinforce her stereotype, as well as the audience of waiting cars and pedestrians.

Fuck her, fuck them, it’s Hyde in control, my moral compass swinging in circles, as lost as the hope I used to own. But on reflection, revealing my character or lack thereof, I am Sisyphus with too much horsepower and too little self (or want of) control.

In this moment, I’m stupid, reckless, out of control, and justifying it with the lack of reason or care.

Move aside, give me a wide berth, the weight you see holding me down is my baggage of pain and loathing.

But, ever faithful Scoot warns me, she shakes her head in disgust at my roughness, and she squirms before she steps aside for the longest 3 inch slide to the left in my life. Her moral compass warns me that I need to park up and walk instead.

So, here I sit contemplating life and love, and the erosion of value and values, watching my soul being circled by vultures named calamity and treason, wondering about the meaning of Sisyphus and me – Stuck in Hell again.

[nodrog:Me]

its abit early to be on the crack isnt it bro?

[vifferman]

Not really much one can say in response to that.
Perhaps... one could venture to say it's a shame that it's viewed as inappropriate and/or illegal to use a motorbike as an emotional release cum statement of life philosophy.

And you're actually fortunate to be able to manage your personal, professional and family lives, albeit one at a time. I've lost my grip on ALL of them, and every day is a nightmare waiting for the disaster to hit me (emotional/physical meltdown, termination, suicide/abject failure/permanent dependence respectively).

[RantyDave]

Moral compass? I beg to differ. These machines act as alarmingly accurate measures of our desire to experience and belief (well founded or not) of our own skill and attention levels; counterbalanced against the well placed fear and/or knowledge of what it means to fail. Most alarmingly at the end of the day we get an actual number showing our fearlessness on an LCD.

But morality? Nah. Cagers going fast show a lack of morality - a tonne of steel ensuring the majority of the risk is borne by those around rather than the risk taker himself.

Camus at 9AM? You sure you're OK?

Dave

[madbikeboy]

And you're actually fortunate to be able to manage your personal, professional and family lives, albeit one at a time. I've lost my grip on ALL of them, and every day is a nightmare waiting for the disaster to hit me (emotional/physical meltdown, termination, suicide/abject failure/permanent dependence respectively).

Thank you for getting it.

[Badjelly]

And you're actually fortunate to be able to manage your personal, professional and family lives, albeit one at a time. I've lost my grip on ALL of them, and every day is a nightmare waiting for the disaster to hit me (emotional/physical meltdown, termination, suicide/abject failure/permanent dependence respectively).

Cheer up. It may never happen.

[BOGAR]

You put down in words what I feel about biking and I didn't think it was possible. Interesting reading if a little bit scary. Hope your OK. Thanks

[vifferman]

Cheer up. It may never happen.

One or more of them is bound to, sooner or later. It's like Damocles sword, a huge bucket of shit, and a large blunt guillotine all hovering above me, vying for the chance to be the first to fall.

[CookMySock]

Fuck all that shit. No part of the world cares what contribution I make to anything, so I just go do as I choose. The world will still be here tomorrow, and next year, and next century, with or without your or my contribution, so let it burn I say.

Steve

[madbikeboy]

One or more of them is bound to, sooner or later. It's like Damocles sword, a huge bucket of shit, and a large blunt guillotine all hovering above me, vying for the chance to be the first to fall.

Nietzche writes that (paraphrasing) the anticipation of an event is worse than the event itself. Damocles was a point being made, that obligation and duty were a sublime responsibility and not a blessing - it is the fundamental lack of understanding that meaning that forced the Sword to be hung.

Sometimes its hard to exhale with the weight of the world on your shoulders (to stretch even more philosophy ravings beyond breaking point).

[madbikeboy]

Fuck all that shit. No part of the world cares what contribution I make to anything, so I just go do as I choose. The world will still be here tomorrow, and next year, and next century, with or without your or my contribution, so let it burn I say.

Steve

Proving Camus' point. Thank you.

[Finn]

The only thing I recall my Grandfather ever saying to me was, "If you don't enjoy what you're doing, then enjoy it." He's dead now so I hope he's enjoying it.

Welcome to life. It does suck a bit at times.

[Tank]

Fuck all that shit. No part of the world cares what contribution I make to anything, so I just go do as I choose.

You could always choose to make a selfless and positive contribution to the world - it may not be shouted from the roof tops - but there will be people who appreciate it.

Else you end up a bitter wee thing from Edgecombe.

[Katman]

Else you end up a bitter wee thing from Edgecombe.

What else could possibly come out of Edgecombe?

[vifferman]

The only thing I recall my Grandfather ever saying to me was, "If you don't enjoy what you're doing, then enjoy it."

I don't remember anything my grandfather ever said to me.
Just as well - you wouldn't want to trust someone who drives down a motorway the wrong way...