To be a man? [Archive] - Kiwi Biker forums

MyGSXF

28th February 2009, 18:12

I have a request.. I have local men/friends to ask, but I thought as I have met so many good men from all over this country through KB, I would ask more widely.. so here goes..

My oldest son is turning 13 in a couple of weeks. His dad disappeared off the scene 3 years ago when the evil new wife came along. I do my best to make sure he still has some positive male role models in his life.

Being a mum & a single mum there is only so much I can teach him. I'm raising my boys to be independent & widely useful, so they grow up to be capable men who will look after their partners & children well. He knows how to cook a few different meals, mows the lawn, stacks firewood, does dishes, uses the washing machine, makes lunches, rides a motorbike etc. He's a quiet, introverted kid with a small group of good friends. He has beautiful manners, is considerate & polite. Jess is in the top English class at College, learning Karate & the drum in the marching band.. & enjoying both a lot. All the above are good manly skills to have as far as I'm concerned.. but only a man can teach him of "being" a man.

So I wondered, would any good men out there be willing to write a letter to Jess & impart some of your manly wisdom on what it is "to be a man" please? It doesn't have to be a novel.. maybe just a page on one subject.. or whatever you wish, & preferably handwritten (makes it more personal). I would like to make a book up for Jess for his birthday, so he can read it whenever he feels, & it could be added to by others over the next few years.

I would be very appreciative of any (appropriate) input for my son!

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=58000&d=1175767924

Please pm me for addy, to send letter to.

Thank you

Jen

Mom

28th February 2009, 18:16

Hi girl, commendable post and good for you asking too. Years ago I knew a bloke that had a buddy. He used to take this buddy all sorts of places.

Had a very quick search, have a look at this service. I know it was good for my (grown) firend, and have no doubt his buddy loves it too!

http://www.bigbuddy.org.nz/

Trudes

28th February 2009, 18:19

Far out brussel sprout, what a cool idea and an awesome thing to do for your boys! The old, "if I knew then what I know now" thing imparted from someone who's been there and done that.:niceone:
I'm not a man, but I would tell him to be good to his mum and to screw a lot of chicks while he's young and single and to use protection otherwise he won't be for long (although I would leave that one until he was maybe 18 or so:laugh:)

MyGSXF

28th February 2009, 18:22

I knew a bloke that had a buddy. He used to take this buddy all sorts of places

Thanks Anne :hug:

Jess has had a 'mentor' for the past 3 years.. however his mentor was a female also.. they were seriously lacking male mentors when I signed him up.. such is the demand!! :blink: however, they have had a wonderful time together, kayaking, rock climbing, swimming etc. He's been on the waiting list for a male mentor through a different programme in Nelson, for nearly a year & a half now.. & still waiting.. :confused:

Mom

28th February 2009, 18:24

piston broke

28th February 2009, 18:27

Pussy

28th February 2009, 18:31

Quite honestly, Jen, it sounds like you're doing an EXCELLENT job with the young bloke anyway!
If I can help with anything, sing out!
Cheers, John

FROSTY

28th February 2009, 18:34

To be a father or to be a dad. The two things aren't of course mutually exclusive. With my brady bunch Im being either dad or both depending on the boy.

Swoop

28th February 2009, 18:37

they have had a wonderful time together, kayaking, crock climbing,
There is no bloody way I'm going anywhere near a crocagator, let alone climb onto a mobile handbag!

Other than that, great stuff!!:Punk:

piston broke

28th February 2009, 18:37

Quite honestly, Jen, it sounds like you're doing an EXCELLENT job with the young bloke anyway!
If I can help with anything, sing out!
Cheers,

i agree wholeheartedly.
just carry on carrying on.
you are obviously a jem

MyGSXF

28th February 2009, 18:41

There is no bloody way I'm going anywhere near a crocagator, let alone climb onto a mobile handbag!

:laugh: lols.. edited.. :msn-wink:

Nasty

28th February 2009, 18:42

I think that is an awesome idea ... because to tell you the truth it takes many ideas from exposure to many people to make a man a man ... and you are doing a great job .. the extras will come and this is a great way of getting that!!!

piston broke

28th February 2009, 18:45

so is the young fella hands on, or more cerebrial?

MyGSXF

28th February 2009, 19:04

if you're nearby'ish,
i'd be more than happy to take the young fella sailing and surfing.
and some part time work in a boatbuilding shop.
damn,i see you are a bit far away,unless you want to send him up here for a week or two

Oh hun.. thankyou thankyou thankyou for your offer.. I'd have him there in a flash if you were closer.. you could always shift to :sunny: Nelson & marry me... :laugh:

Quite honestly, Jen, it sounds like you're doing an EXCELLENT job with the young bloke anyway!
If I can help with anything, sing out!
Cheers, John

To be a father or to be a dad. The two things aren't of course mutually exclusive. With my brady bunch Im being either dad or both depending on the boy.

Tis a bugger you guys are so far away too!! :bye:

it takes many ideas from exposure to many people to make a man a man ...

Cheers Kari.. I agree.. there's a saying round something about "it takes a community to raise a child".. & personally, I find that motorcyclists tend to be very "real", decent & down to earth people.

so is the young fella hands on, or more cerebrial?

Depends on what it is really hun.. he enjoys fishing, & motorbiking (with me) but loves his computer, playstation & reading. He also loves going tramping with my Olds & to places like the Steam Museum.. I drove Dads old Morrie Van in the Classic Car Run last weekend.. & took the boys.. they love it! He is bright.. but his personality is generally that of a dreamer.. (Pisces). He would like to be an Aircraft Engineer & I encourage him to go through the Airforce to achieve that.. but maths is not his strong point.. so not sure if it is really feasible or not.. :confused:

Ocean1

28th February 2009, 19:05

I wondered, would any good men out there be willing to write a letter to Jess & impart some of your manly wisdom on what it is "to be a man" please?

I is good.:cool:

But not as good as this dude...

Read him this:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son.

piston broke

28th February 2009, 19:19

Oh hun.. thankyou thankyou thankyou for your offer.. I'd have him there in a flash if you were closer.. you could always shift to :sunny: Nelson & marry me... :laugh:

if he's keen,
send him up for the next hol's.
or shift here and marry me:cool:

Maha

28th February 2009, 19:36

Decisions.

It all comes down to decisions Jen.
Making the right one everytime is not possible.
But making that decision in the first place will effect your future in some way.
I am not talking about deciding over a Paradiso or Jelly Tip, more along the lines of school subjects etc. Deciding who your real friends are at an early age will impact on decision making, peer pressure is a joke. The making of a man is made from mistakes, the mark of a man is knowing how correct those mistakes.

EatOrBeEaten

28th February 2009, 19:44

Awesome thread, I think this is one of theose times when KB is at its best.

piston broke

28th February 2009, 20:08

Thanks Anne :hug:

Jess has had a 'mentor' for the past 3 years.. however his mentor was a female also.. they were seriously lacking male mentors when I signed him up.. such is the demand!! :blink: however, they have had a wonderful time together, kayaking, rock climbing, swimming etc. He's been on the waiting list for a male mentor through a different programme in Nelson, for nearly a year & a half now.. & still waiting.. :confused:

with the way our society is running at the mo,
it's hard for a bloke to be close to any youngster,sadly.
i find myself, that i want my bro or sis'in'law to be nearby when i take their kids out..
no wonder the young fella is still waiting for a male mentor.
i'd love to be a big brother but there is too much shite goes down....;..
it's fucked,men near children seem to be treated as 'peado's.
and then peep's wonder why men take a back step from kids.:(

Big Dave

28th February 2009, 20:12

To be a father or to be a dad. The two things aren't of course mutually exclusive. With my brady bunch Im being either dad or both depending on the boy.

Frosty is actually Alice. :-P

piston broke

28th February 2009, 20:14

Frosty is actually Alice. :-P

alice was onto it tho

reofix

28th February 2009, 20:19

i spend a lot of time with kids... neices ,nephews, grandchildren and friends kids ... boys and girls and I have never had anyone even start down that road ... when we give in to fear we lose our freedom!!

Mikkel

28th February 2009, 20:19

Jen, I doubt a letter will do much at the age of 13 - he'd be better off with a role model who's actually physically present. When I was 13 my biggest rolemodel was my uncle who is an ex-UN soldier ex-farmer who works as a rescue worker. I doubt any letter from him would have meant anything without him actually having a physical presence in my everyday life...

Your boy does sound a bit like me at that age - if you hurry he may still be saved ;) (In all seriousness, just make sure that he doesn't spend too much of his time in the virtual reality...)

Dragon

28th February 2009, 20:44

I know i'm not much older then your son but I'm sure I've made alot of mistakes in my short life and may be able to help if you want.

Slyer

28th February 2009, 20:48

(In all seriousness, just make sure that he doesn't spend too much of his time in the virtual reality...)
But virtual reality is the best one!

You sound like you're already doing a great job, sadly the boys whose mothers don't think of this sort of thing need a buddy the most.

Dean

28th February 2009, 21:34

So hes 13, im 4 years older,hes roughly around my age so i can have a chat with him if he wants to hang out for an hour.I know the kind of stuff teenagers get into so i can casually help him in the right path. Hes a cool dude, and he is being taken care of by a very good caregiver he is very lucky, all the best.

MyGSXF

28th February 2009, 21:39

The making of a man is made from mistakes, the mark of a man is knowing how correct those mistakes.

That's magic Mark!! Put that in writing for me pleeease!! :2thumbsup

i'd love to be a big brother

DO IT!!!!!!! you may be the difference that save's a young mans life :hug:

Jen, I doubt a letter will do much at the age of 13
if you hurry he may still be saved ;)

That's why I want to make a book.. it will be something he can keep & look back through over the years & can be added to as he grows. Jess is a sentimental kid, he 'feels' very deeply. I've given him some soppy cards over the years & he keeps them in his drawer beside his bed! I could pretty much guarantee the chances of him going "off the rails" would be about as likely as me getting to own a Britten.. :rolleyes:

I know i'm not much older then your son but I'm sure I've made alot of mistakes in my short life and may be able to help if you want.

Thanks hun!! Would be awesome to have something in writing from another young perspective!! :2thumbsup

But virtual reality is the best one!

Maybe you could write something, linking the two world together. :niceone: He loves PC games like Sim City type of thing, where he builds & creates!

sinfull

28th February 2009, 21:53

Meh Sounds to me ya got it sussed already, just piss standin up and he'll come out allright !

MyGSXF

28th February 2009, 21:56

I is good.:cool:
But not as good as this dude...

Wow.. that is awesome!! :first: have printed it off! Thanks!!! :2thumbsup

MyGSXF

28th February 2009, 22:00

Meh Sounds to me ya got it sussed already, just piss standin up and he'll come out allright !

I needz to get me one of these babies then... :lol:

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Sports/Camping-outdoors/Camping-toilets-showers/auction-204526042.htm

Maha

28th February 2009, 22:01

I needz to get me one of these babies then... :lol:

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Sports/Camping-outdoors/Camping-toilets-showers/auction-204526042.htm

I use one of those for a sugar scoop!!!.....:lol:

Skyryder

28th February 2009, 22:03

Real men respect woman.

Skyryder

MyGSXF

28th February 2009, 22:27

Real men respect woman

Awesome!!!!! :first:

Please can you put that in writing for me!!? :niceone:

Mikkel

28th February 2009, 23:05

That's why I want to make a book.. it will be something he can keep & look back through over the years & can be added to as he grows. Jess is a sentimental kid, he 'feels' very deeply. I've given him some soppy cards over the years & he keeps them in his drawer beside his bed! I could pretty much guarantee the chances of him going "off the rails" would be about as likely as me getting to own a Britten.. :rolleyes:

Sentimentality can be a handicap too, I know so from personal experience. And while "off the rails" may be very improbable, turning into a (semi-)alcoholic may not. I wouldn't worry too much Jen, I am sure that you are doing a very good job of it, but no matter what you do this is not a perfect world and there's no way in which you could hide that fact from an intelligent child. How we deal with the imperfections that we encounter is impossible to predict, as long as you make sure your kids are raised with love and not indifference I am sure they will be better equipped to handle whatever shit comes their way than what constitutes the average.

We'll have to see about that Britten though... would any old Britten do? ;)

Mikkel

28th February 2009, 23:05

I use one of those for a sugar scoop!!!.....:lol:

You use a used one... or... ? :eek5:

Mort

1st March 2009, 00:41

All boys love their mum because all mums love their boys. You have shown that to us and I am sure you have shown that to your boy. He may be going through a difficult time of his life but if you are always there and you always love him you will be the rock of his life.

Every boy/man wants to lead and make his way. If you can allow or instigate opportunites for him to do this he will gain confidence and subconsciencely (if not explicitly) acknowledge and love you for it. At 13, now is a time to let him have a little more space but he must be sure that he has your love and support regardless of ANY situation he find himself in. He should always know, at any age and at any point in the future he has your support. This will stand him in good stead throughout his life. A parent can give no more than this.

ynot slow

1st March 2009, 06:34

Sounds like you're doing an A grade job,don't beat yourself up about it.

At least he enjoys his grandparents,not many at that age do (respect) them,I liked my grandparents at all ages and wish they were alive to see my kids,once they go ya can't get em back though.

Be proud he respects you and grandies,just give him a little more slack,hell I remember the first time I got pissed lol(16 or so),first small car crash,never hurt me(emotionally)and is part of growing up and knowing limits.

portokiwi

1st March 2009, 07:03

:hug: You are doing a great job:niceone: He sounds like he is doing great.
Many of us have come from homes which we never had a father. Passed away of left. My dad passed away in front of me when I was 7. My ex wife and I seperated after 18 years of marrige. We had 4 kids togeather.
The kids are good Yes it hurt the kids but it was for the best. Been allmost 4 years now. I miss them so much and cant wait till they come up for hollidays.
Your son is doing a fantastic job. You have him pointed in the right direction.
Just keep doing what you are doing:first: Keep up encouragement and he will go far.:hug:

Maki

1st March 2009, 07:45

Wow, original poster your son is lucky to have such a fantastic mom. Men are overrated but if you think your son really needs some manly advice I have a few words.

Please tell him.

Take 100% responsibility for your actions. Know that you will gain satisfaction from what you do and what you achieve.

Be a warrior. Decide carefully what you want to do and do not be afraid to say no. When you have decided you want to do something, give it everything you have got.

Always remember the words of a wise man (Jackie Stewart 3 times formula 1 world champion): "You can not be half pregnant"
I was just reading his biography. He was branded as "stupid" when he went to school because of his dyslexia. He then went on to live a life of great achievement.

Support your son, give him responsibilities. Pick him up when he falls down and let him learn from his own mistakes.

I hope this makes some sense.

FROSTY

1st March 2009, 08:10

Frosty is actually Alice. :-P
And who the F$#$ is alice?? :devil2:

Swoop

1st March 2009, 08:55

I was just reading his biography. He was branded as "stupid" when he went to school
Unfortunately schools have a bit to answer for.
The lack of male teachers at younger age levels, for example. Most male teachers seem to be at secondary level.

Slightly OT.
The "Virtual" or "online" social interaction is something that we have possibly overlooked with the younger ones. They naturally take to online communities for gaming and suchlike, and can be a place of learning things like teamwork and communication skills.

gman49

1st March 2009, 12:39

If you asked my mum what I was like at 13 and compared me to Jess, she would say you were pretty lucky.

And if I was Jess it wouldn’t matter what anyone wrote for me I would still be the way I am, it would take more than letters, give him some good old fashioned adventure books or movies to watch, a PS3 with a huge HD LCD TV a 100 pack of condoms and a penthouse magazine, oh and a rechargeable electric shaver, don’t worry about him learning how to use a blade.
Oh and DON”T let him ride a Harley

Luv ya lots, you're doing a good job now

MyGSXF

1st March 2009, 20:15

Please tell him

Please can you put it in writing for me...?!! :msn-wink:

McJim

1st March 2009, 20:22

Be born with a wullie.

Reach age 18.

That's it. It really is that simple. :yes:

Pussy

1st March 2009, 20:26

Please can you put it in writing for me...?!! :msn-wink:

You're doing a lot better job of it than you think, Jen

piston broke

1st March 2009, 20:27

Be born with a wullie.

Reach age 18.

That's it. It really is that simple. :yes:

so i guess you really are a tribal scotsman eh?

MyGSXF

1st March 2009, 20:27

WOW.. thank you, thank you, thank you to you all.. :clap: I'm totally bowled over by the response to my request!! :first:

All the pm's, replys & bling I have received, has left me feeling very humbled :o ( had a couple of quiet snivels.. :crybaby: :innocent:) & proud to be a part of such an amazing group of people!! :grouphug:

I feel very privileged to have been allowed to see into some of your lives, as men. Thank you for sharing your stories with me!! :2thumbsup

Am looking forward to receiving your letters very much!!! :banana:

Jen :rockon:

McJim

1st March 2009, 20:32

so i guess you really are a tribal scotsman eh?
Nah, apparently I'm a nice guy but I have no idea how I managed it. This disqualifies me from being able to give anything but a mildly humerous reply. If I had known how I did it I'd gladly share the details, as it is I suspect my soul is a lot darker than it outwardly appears.

Maha

1st March 2009, 20:32

I would write Jen but my hand writing is crap, even I have to take a 2nd look at times, I am better at spreading glue on the floor...:(
My typing is pretty good though?
Maybe you should print out that one line...or I could get Anne to write it down?

Slyer

1st March 2009, 20:32

Yes I agree, this thread is far far too positive.
Won't anyone help balance it out?

piston broke

1st March 2009, 20:36

Nah, apparently I'm a nice guy but I have no idea how I managed it. This disqualifies me from being able to give anything but a mildly humerous reply. If I had known how I did it I'd gladly share the details, as it is I suspect my soul is a lot darker than it outwardly appears.

same same, but different

warewolf

1st March 2009, 21:15

I like the idea, will pen something for you.

he enjoys fishing, & motorbiking (with me) but loves his computer, playstation & reading. He also loves going tramping with my Olds & to places like the Steam Museum..uh huh... we will keep him in mind. We do lots of similar stuff. Will have to take him caving with us - he might even let you tag along :cool:

He would like to be an Aircraft Engineer & I encourage him to go through the Airforce to achieve that.. but maths is not his strong point.. so not sure if it is really feasible or not.. :confused:Funnily enough, at high school I did my 'work experience' as an aircraft engineer. Don't know that you need strong maths. Talk to some people in the trade, or who teach it (NMIT?), see what the entry requirements are vs his skills. If he was keen, and had a goal to motivate him, some extra/remedial classes if needed could be worthwhile.

I have a Triumph-riding mate who is an avionics engineer in the airforce (works on the electronics in aircraft). Might be worth a chat. Also have another rider/caver mate who is a single Dad who works as an engineer for AirNZ.

mashman

1st March 2009, 21:27

You are doing by far a good enough job already. I have a son (well my x's son, not mine by birth etc...) back in the UK. He comes over once every 18 months, or when I have cash. I talk him every month or so, he's gentle, sensitive and similar as to how you describe yours. they'll grow to be who they are, you can offer tham moral support, be there for them, but they could still turn out to be a nightmare... I'm always stunned when I talk to Daniel... he changes on a monthly basis and yet his general outlook on life in is the same. Wish I could take credit, but he is who he is because of his mum I guess... seems like all is well... in which case pointless bloody thread...

Pussy

1st March 2009, 21:28

Didn't see the bit about Jess's interest in aircraft engineering... the suggestion about extra help with maths is a good one.
Aircraft engineering is a great trade and career aspiration... Jess would be able to take his skills anywhere in the world once he is qualified

Conquiztador

1st March 2009, 21:46

Been a single dad with 4 boys for 7 years. Oldest now moved out. I make fuckups. But in general we are on track. Not sure what I can add, but be happy to help. And if he needs a place with only males for a w/e then cool (then again, be far to travel from Venus...)

Brett

1st March 2009, 23:06

I is good.:cool:

But not as good as this dude...

Read him this:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son.

Couldn't agree more, this is exactly what I want to send to Jess. I am not the type of male who is particularly interested in poetry, however this one means a lot to me. So much so, that I have it tattooed on me. It personifies everything i feel is important in a man.

MSTRS

2nd March 2009, 08:00

Sounds like you are doing a more than fair job. Good on you for recognising that there are some things that a female just can't do :niceone:
Thing is, I don't think that anyone can teach someone how to be a man. It can only be learned. There is a difference.
But do teach him how to leave the toilet seat up, and that it's only right and proper to fart and burp when necessary (blaming someone else is optional).

Mr Merde

2nd March 2009, 08:17

At the tender age of 53 I am still to discover that which defines "a man"

All I can give is the advice my father gave to me. He was a military man all his life and saw the worlds cruelties first hand.

When leaving NZ for my OE he took me aside on the walk to the depatrure lounge and told me this.

"If you like it, do it, but not if it hurts anyone"

I have tried to live my life by this doctrine ever since

Chris

Swoop

2nd March 2009, 10:05

SARGE had a thread on "what makes a man" in the angel's forum. Good stuff in there as well.
Until a few tossers started posting shit and it was sent to PD.

MyGSXF

2nd March 2009, 21:51

i can have a chat with him if he wants to hang out for an hour

We live in Nelson hun.. could you write something down about being a teenager for him.?

He should always know, at any age and at any point in the future he has your support

Fer sure!!!! :yes:

At least he enjoys his grandparents,not many at that age do (respect) them

I remember when he was 4.. he was tucked up in bed, hanging on every word Grandad said.. as Grandad read him a bedtime story.. a Landrover workshop manual!! :laugh:

My dad passed away in front of me when I was 7. My ex wife and I seperated after 18 years of marrige. We had 4 kids togeather. Yes it hurt the kids but it was for the best

:hug: for you. Sometimes it is for the best aye. I felt the same way when Jess's dad & I split.

Oh and DON”T let him ride a Harley

No worries there hun!! :shutup:

My typing is pretty good though?

Please!!

I like the idea, will pen something for you.

Will have to take him caving with us - he might even let you tag along

I have a Triumph-riding mate who is an avionics engineer in the airforce (works on the electronics in aircraft). Might be worth a chat.

Thanks hun!! We would love to come caving with ya's!!! :banana: & yeah, would be great if Jess could have a chat with ya mate!!

Aircraft engineering is a great trade and career aspiration... Jess would be able to take his skills anywhere in the world once he is qualified

He's had that aspiration for quite some time now!! I reckon it would be an awesome trade.. besides.. he could get his mum cheap flights all over the world.. :devil2:

Been a single dad with 4 boys for 7 years. And if he needs a place with only males for a w/e then cool (then again, be far to travel from Venus)

Good on ya!!! a male only zone sounds great.. but we live in Nelson.. :bye:

I have it tattooed on me

:shit: All of it??

it's only right and proper to fart and burp when necessary

We have competitions.... :innocent:

"If you like it, do it, but not if it hurts anyone"

That's great!!! please write down it for Jess

SARGE had a thread on "what makes a man" in the angel's forum. Good stuff in there as well

Cheers! will look for it! :msn-wink:

Ocean1

2nd March 2009, 22:14

Rummage...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/22/AR2007062201668_pf.html

MyGSXF

2nd March 2009, 22:26

Rummage...

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Books/Nonfiction/Health-Lifestyle/Other/auction-204988425.htm :Punk:

:shifty: I will go to the library...

martybabe

3rd March 2009, 07:58

Judging by your fist and subsequent posts it sounds like your young man could give a lot of real men the learn on how to be a Man.

He sounds like a loving decent human being and that's all I could ever ask of my Children.

He's already a credit to you and posting this thread asking for input from males just in case your lad is missing out on the male perspective, speaks volumes about you as a Mother.

You may be a single mother but what a mother, that lad is missing out on nothing with you fighting in his corner. There are many children with two parents that don't get half the love and devotion you give.

There will come a day, if it hasn't already, when Jess thanks his lucky stars that he was blessed with a Mom such as you, my old man was all bloody man but he wasn't anywhere near as cool as Jess' mom and that's a fact!

xx

PirateJafa

3rd March 2009, 08:13

(In all seriousness, just make sure that he doesn't spend too much of his time in the virtual reality...)

Oi, I'll have you know that computer games have made the members of the SMC the wonderful and well-rounded individuals they are. *cough* *cough*

Maybe you could write something, linking the two world together. :niceone: He loves PC games like Sim City type of thing, where he builds & creates!

At least he has good taste.

Slyer

3rd March 2009, 10:06

Do NOT let him play any MMORPG's :bleh:

MyGSXF

3rd March 2009, 10:17

Do NOT let him play any MMORPG's :bleh:

Any what'ers?? :scratch:

wysper

3rd March 2009, 11:08

Any what'ers?? :scratch:

Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games

And I would love to write something for him. You should be very proud of yourself. What a great Mum.

balans

3rd March 2009, 11:55

I was in a similar situation to your son when I was 13. I read Roald Dahls autobiograhphical books "Going Solo" and "Boy". I found that these had a positive effect in calibrating my moral compass and provided some inspiriation for future career and life aspirations. While perhaps not as personal as a hand written letter, I'd recommend including them as a birthday present for your english honor student with an interest in aviation.

Winston001

3rd March 2009, 12:05

He must - repeat must - learn how to back a trailer. :done:

MyGSXF

4th March 2009, 22:13

Roald Dahls autobiograhphical books "Going Solo" and "Boy".

Awesome, cheers.. gotta love Trademe! :laugh:

He must - repeat must - learn how to back a trailer. :done:

Ohh oohh oohh.. pick me.. pick meee!! :doobey: I can teach him how to do that one!!!!! :wari:

EatOrBeEaten

4th March 2009, 22:30

Big Dave

4th March 2009, 22:34

Winston001

4th March 2009, 22:44

Ohh oohh oohh.. pick me.. pick meee!! :doobey: I can teach him how to do that one!!!!! :wari:

You can??!! Sure you don't want to move to Invercargill....? :love:

I can tell (in absolute confidence) that a member here admitted to me last weekend that backing trailers was not in his skill-set. :lol:

You've been reading Celia Lashlie I presume. You objectives are correct and I hope you have some good ideas from here. Haven't read the Roald Dahl books but must get them for my own 13yr son. And get him back on a tractor which is how I learned to drive. :2thumbsup

MyGSXF

8th March 2009, 19:23

You've been reading Celia Lashlie I presume. Haven't read the Roald Dahl books but must get them for my own 13yr son.

Celia Lashlie, Ian Grant & Steve Biddulph.. ;)

Jus won the Roald Dahl books on TM!! :woohoo:

gatch

8th March 2009, 22:25

Hi :) I don't think you need to worry so much, as it sounds like you're doing pretty good as it is, he sounds a bit like me as a teen (not too long ago)..

And I learned most of what made me the man I am today from my mum, the rest I figured out from doing dumb shit and living with the consequences..

You said he's into bikes ? Kick his ass if he brings home a harley poster, or says he like country music ;)

Best of luck.

Winston001

9th March 2009, 07:40

Hi :) I don't think you need to worry so much, as it sounds like you're doing pretty good as it is, he sounds a bit like me as a teen (not too long ago)..

Agreed. The very fact you are aware of the importance of male role models in your son's life says a lot about you. You are good parent, your son is a lucky boy. Let us know how you are getting on, there are many decent blokes who would be only too happy to let your son join in with their own kids doing mens stuff.

Men do look at things differently. I tried to do lots of adventurous dangerous stuff with my children while my wife had conniptions. :D Not actual danger, just let them push the boundaries climbing a tree, rock wall, hold a chainsaw, mountain walks etc.

MyGSXF

10th March 2009, 13:04

You said he's into bikes ? Kick his ass if he brings home a harley poster, or says he like country music ;)

Most definitely!! :shutup:

hold a chainsaw

:woohoo: Oohh.. ooohhh.. oohhhhh.... I can teach him how to do that tooo.. :doobey: pretty dab handy wiv a chainsaw is I.. :stoogie:

MyGSXF

11th April 2014, 01:10

Update.... Jess is now a gorgeous young man of 18!! (& taller than me.. little shit! <_<) (holy shyte... where has the last 5 YEARS gone!!!!?? :scratch: )

He still has the same gentle loving sensitive nature. When the younger brother went to his dads for the weekend.. Jess & I would have "Friday date nights" (Jess instigated this idea!!!) we'd get takeaways for tea, a dvd, & park up for the evening. One night we cried so hard from laughing so damn much watching Nigel Lattas "Politically Incorrect Guide to raising Teenagers"! bloody funny!!

He played the Bass drum in the pipe band for several years.. was fantastic at it & took a lot of pride in the importance of his role at keeping the beat & timing for the rest of the band! He worked at Pak'n'Save for a couple of years in the weekends, & kept the same group of awesome College friends right through till the day he left home. (now they Skype & txt!)

He passed his restricted licence (car :facepalm:) today.. & starts Chef training on Monday, at the Culinary Institute in KeriKeri!! :banana:

see also this thread.... http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/166073-KeriKeri-accommodation-required-please!!!!!

So if any of you lovely manly men are still around up that way, & have a little spare time to catch up & talk man stuff.. let me know. He's finding it a bit lonely being away from home (he left just before Xmas.. & he misses his Mum... aaawwww shucks.. :love: )

Jen ;)

caseye

11th April 2014, 19:14

Bit far south of his local, but always a bed and an ear down here in Dorkland.
Even a stop over for Ma, coming to see her boy.
Got three girls, 2 still at home, one away, never miss the chance to see em.

Padmei

11th April 2014, 20:45

hey Jen
In all honesty i think the role models of men are by & large overrated. Your boy has had the good fortune of having a pretty cool, open, caring & humourous mum & I think now you're seeing the fruits of your hard work in how your boy has turned out. you've done well.

ps my littlest was too shy to tell you she was my daughter at CTS for the 1st aid:msn-wink:

Akzle

11th April 2014, 21:13

seriously. Why the hell would you call a boy jess?!

Tarded

11th April 2014, 22:26

I reckon a boy does need a male role model if for no other reason than balance.
Same applies to girls in the reverse.

He needs to learn how to act in bloke company and in polite (obviously I mean female here) company.

There is a difference depending on the blokes and females but you get my drift.

The world is a tough place.
It sounds like he will make a good hubby one day but guys that are too nice can get eaten alive.

Im going to get slammed by the :sunny: :love::innocent: brigade but a little mongrel never hurt.

Girls dont tend to impart this knowledge (not their make up), or teach the wisdom of when to apply it and when to walk away.

I dont care if its 2014, one of my key roles is to protect my clan and my cave. Boys need to be able to do this.
This sooky PC BS needs to stop.

It sounds like you have done a pretty good job with the boy, well done.

And I cook and clean my fair share too for the record.
Its not like its hard and 'hun the house is clean' seems to be reasonable foreplay :bleh:

(edit - that emoticon is a bit rude in context of foreplay but it made me laugh when I reread my post so you can too..........)