Whats the weirdest thing you've found in the kitchen? [Archive]

Spyke

5th March 2009, 17:24

Ok picture this, you're hungry and want a nice sweet snack :shifty: so you start shaking the cookie jars to see if there's any left. SWEET SUMMITS IN THIS ONE! :Punk:. bring it down. Open it to find the most vulgar stomach renching smell, FECK me that aint no boysenberry and chocchip muffin!

So whos the one whos going to eat the last banana muffin? :eek: I'd pay to watch you try.

So now begs the question what rotten things have you found in your normally outstanding cooking den?

Gubb

5th March 2009, 17:36

Shouldn't this be in the 'Biker Angels' section?

:dodge:

MadDuck

5th March 2009, 17:51

Think the worst for me was thinking hmmm fried egg on toast for breakfast. Cracked the egg in the pan......rotten egg smell hangs around for like ages ah?

Dave Lobster

5th March 2009, 17:54

Whats the weirdest thing you've found in the kitchen?

A bloke?

ten char

Mom

5th March 2009, 17:56

Yes Maggots, friggen disgusting.

This is not maggots on the cat food that your fussy feline turned its nose up at 3 days ago that you could not be bothered dealing with until the bowl crawled over to the bin by itself, this is maggots on steak in the pan. Yes on freshly bought steak, while it cooks. This going back a few years now but even so...

Oldfashioned butcher that has the best meat in the universe, aged to perfection. You buy 2 steaks on your way home from work. Get home, throw the paper wrapped packet on the bench, take your shoes off, pour a wine...

Finally get to cooking, spuds cooking, salad made, steaks in pan, wander off for a few moments. Come back to see these fine white things, lots of them, on your meat in the pan while it is cooking! :eek: and a big WTF??? then the realisation :sick:

Quick scrape with the trusty bread knife, turn over to do the other side and hey presto, maggotty steak ala Mom <_<

Best meat I think I have ever eaten, once I got my head past the maggots that is.

Trudes

5th March 2009, 17:58

Cracking an egg into your cake batter and a half formed chicken comes out, now that's pretty yuck!!

MadDuck

5th March 2009, 18:00

Now which bloke is brave enough to say "cook me some eggs bitch" :lol:

ManDownUnder

5th March 2009, 18:00

Ck7FDgnHOQI

Mom

5th March 2009, 18:08

Think the worst for me was thinking hmmm fried egg on toast for breakfast. Cracked the egg in the pan......rotten egg smell hangs around for like ages ah?

Cracking an egg into your cake batter and a half formed chicken comes out, now that's pretty yuck!!

Yes, and after you have done a few times you learn to either float the suckers in a bowl of water before you crack them (bad ones float) or crack them into a separate bowl first.

Float them girls, trust me on this :D

Hitcher

5th March 2009, 18:34

Whale ovaries.

disenfranchised

5th March 2009, 18:37

Had a funny smell in the kitchen, and eventually tracked it down to a rat that had nibbled on the wires inside the oven control panel...and fried itself.

Dunno how long it was there for exactly, but it had both gone stiff as a plank, and had started to ooze slightly...which was heating up when the oven was used and wafting decaying rodent smell round the kitchen.

Not exactly apetising when you're trying to cook a tasty meal.

Spyke

5th March 2009, 18:38

Shouldn't this be in the 'Biker Angels' section?

:dodge:

haha what your telling me you don't go into the kitchen to have a snack, now thats just depriving yourself from the good life :devil2:!

Isn't it a mans instinct to stand infront of the fridge opening it to look whats to eat than forgeting and going back in 5 seconds later?

slofox

5th March 2009, 18:39

The giant Gisborne cockroaches that come up out of the gully behind the house...Hammertron has lots of them nowadays. 40mm long..brrrRRRrrrrr.

MadDuck

5th March 2009, 18:40

Whale ovaries.

Go well with dolphin liver do they :sick:

Trudes

5th March 2009, 18:58

The giant Gisborne cockroaches that come up out of the gully behind the house...Hammertron has lots of them nowadays. 40mm long..brrrRRRrrrrr.

Oh geezus, the cockroaches at my Nan's in Wairoa are the size of small dogs, half a can of fly spray doesn't even faze them!!:crazy:

Number One

5th March 2009, 19:04

Nothing much surprises me in my kitchen to be fair...though I have been caught out with bike engines in the oven a few times when ready to put dinner on! :angry: Stinky poo for ages - don't want to be cooking food until that has gone

Skyryder

5th March 2009, 19:33

Many years ago when we were first married found a mouse that had nose dived into a jam jar. Went out and got our first cat after that.

Skyryder

nudemetalz

5th March 2009, 19:34

Me baking a carrot cake....twice !!
And it tasted good !!

peasea

5th March 2009, 19:38

We discovered leftover schnitzel in the oven ages after we'd had it for tea. Ya just don't use the oven much in summer, ok?

MadDuck

5th March 2009, 19:39

We discovered leftover schnitzel in the oven ages after we'd had it for tea. Ya just don't use the oven much in summer, ok?

Looks like a Martian shat on your lawn

Mental Trousers

5th March 2009, 19:45

Broken chains ..... :bye:

cave weta

5th March 2009, 19:50

Hot hot night the other night and I slept with the door open..
as I slept.. something was creeping round my house....
I stumbled into the kitchen at 6.30 am and stood on this

EEEEEOOOOOH!

121521

pete376403

5th March 2009, 21:41

Is that a big slug? (ie thumb size or thereabouts) We get those, they come in and looks like they're attracted by the cat food.
Horrible things, even the chooks wont eat them.

Owl

5th March 2009, 21:58

Washing machine:confused:

toebug

5th March 2009, 22:04

I caught my mother inlaw taking it doggy style in the kitchen! Didnt want to eat fuck all after that!!!:2guns:

Owl

5th March 2009, 22:18

I caught my mother inlaw taking it doggy style in the kitchen! Didnt want to eat fuck all after that!!!:2guns:

Gonna be hard to top that!:clap:

LBD

6th March 2009, 03:24

I caught my mother inlaw taking it doggy style in the kitchen! Didnt want to eat fuck all after that!!!:2guns:

and she was only 76....:buggerd::sick::sick::sick:

And to think, when I started reading this post I was picturing weird kitchen gadgets:doh:....silicone rubber rings for cooking nice round eggs

skidMark

6th March 2009, 03:36

Chicken hearts i spose... but they is yummy.

skidMark

6th March 2009, 03:38

We discovered leftover schnitzel in the oven ages after we'd had it for tea. Ya just don't use the oven much in summer, ok?

Oi give Donald Trump his hair back.

skidMark

6th March 2009, 03:40

Cracking an egg into your cake batter and a half formed chicken comes out, now that's pretty yuck!!

So just leave the legs in it...bit of green food colouring.....le frogs leg cake

peasea

6th March 2009, 05:56

and she was only 76....:buggerd::sick::sick::sick:

And to think, when I started reading this post I was picturing weird kitchen gadgets:doh:....silicone rubber rings for cooking nice round eggs

....and it turns out the rubber rings were being used for something entirely different!

McDuck

6th March 2009, 08:16

Is that a big slug? (ie thumb size or thereabouts) We get those, they come in and looks like they're attracted by the cat food.
Horrible things, even the chooks wont eat them.

They do eat normal slugs in you garden tho hence 'tiger slug'

vifferman

6th March 2009, 08:35

A rat in the pantry.
Chased it round the kitchen with a squash racket, before it leaped athletically and gracefully up between the dishwasher and the bench top, and disappeared down the hole the d/w hose came through, and into the wall.

"Dere's a rat in the kitchen, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna fix dat rat...etc etc..."

Strangest food? Hmmmm....
A couple of days ago, #3 Troglodyte retrieved his bag that had been unopened since university finished in November or whenever. I think the 'thing' in it used to be an apple - it was hard to tell...

Beemer

6th March 2009, 10:56

I bought some pearl barley last year to make soup and put the remainder in a container. Moved it recently and thought "what's that moving inside?" It was full of black weevils or something, talk about gross! Threw them out and won't bother making soup again if you have to put that crap in it as the eggs must have been in the bag when I bought it.

We had my mother here for Christmas one year and I cooked chicken breasts wrapped in bacon. There were two left over and they weren't on the bench after lunch so I assumed someone had put them away. Found them two days later after we'd taken her home - she'd put them back in the oven... what a waste! They were a tad green and smelly by then.

The grossest thing was when I was living at Wellington Hospital's nursing home though - get up in the night to go to the kitchen for a glass of water and find all the bench and dirty dishes crawling with cockroaches! Man that place was disgusting. If you got up in the night and walked into the hallway you'd hear them all scurrying away.

coffeejunkie

6th March 2009, 12:05

One mothers day my daughter who was almost 5 at the time (now 13) decided to make her mum a treat for breaky......Into our old(blew up but thats another story) 4 slice toaster went a 15 pack of crumbed fish fingers......When it came time to cook them it dawned on her that she wasen't aloud to play with the power points so she put the toaster away.......About 2 months later i couldn't handel the smell anymore and couldn't figure out wat it was seeing as i have cleaned every surface several times.......I then started going through the cupboards and what do i find?

Something that at one stage in it's life was fish fingers still in the bloody toaster!!!!

crfchick

6th March 2009, 12:19

Worst thing I've ever found is the biggest cat s**t ever all over the floor, fridge, cupboard doors! It was awful, you honestly smelt it before you saw it - some stray had gotten inside, freaked out and had the shits all over the kitchen - OMG!

RC1

6th March 2009, 12:56

the MISSUS :girlfight:

P38

6th March 2009, 16:04

My Mate Rick is restoring a vintage car at the moment.

He has a lathe and a mill in his kitchen.

Used to be in the lounge but he shifted it to the kitchen cos he reckoned it was too hard to get the swarf out of the carpet.

Big Dave

6th March 2009, 16:57

Alan Lynch.

klingon

6th March 2009, 17:48

I have a tank full of tropical fish in my living room - which leads to having a bunch of stuff in the kitchen that I think is quite normal but other people may find a little strange. For example...

a jar of live mosquito larvae
A bowl of aquatic snails
various things being boiled on the stove to sterilise them - things like gravel, drift wood, marbles, nets...
frozen food in ice cube trays in the freezer - usually some kind of worm or grub
cubes of the above frozen food thawing out in jar on the bench
large slices of cucumber impaled on the handle of a teaspoon (to make them sink)

When I'm feeding fry I make infusoria. Here's my favourite recipe:
sterilise a jar
blanch a lettuce leaf
put the lettuce leaf in the jar and cover with boiling water
leave the jar on a sunny windowsill until the water turns green
feed the green water to your fry using a syringe.

That reminds me I also have syringes, test-tubes and test kits (consisting of small bottles of various coloured chemicals). And just about everything you would need for a major hydroponic operation including lights, fertilisers, etc. (Not all in the kitchen though)

Number One

6th March 2009, 17:52

Hot hot night the other night and I slept with the door open..
as I slept.. something was creeping round my house....
I stumbled into the kitchen at 6.30 am and stood on this

EEEEEOOOOOH!

121521
Is that an undressed snail or a huge fuck off slug??

McDuck

6th March 2009, 17:52

Mom

6th March 2009, 17:54

Is that an undressed snail or a huge fuck off slug??

Naked giant snail by the looks :yes:

Nah, it is some huge as slug that invades your house through any really small gap (under the door will do if the gap is big enough) and eats your friggen cat food. It possibly would eat your cat too, if your cat was fat and slow to react that is :sunny:

slofox

6th March 2009, 17:55

What sort of fish?

Yer - wot 'e said - tell us about your fish...

Mom

6th March 2009, 18:03

tell us about your fish...

Since you asked <_<

Many years ago I partook of happy hour at work on a Friday night, it was a good happy hour :yes:

On the way home we stopped to buy the standard fush & chups, this from one of those places that also sold fresh fish. Seems I was thinking about the cat as well as my hungry tummy, while waiting for my order.

Got home and discovered I was actually far too happy to even consider eating, so I promptly went for a face down, star fish like sleep on the bed.

Got up the next morning, friggen hungry for some reason, went out to the kitchen and there was this paper wrapped parcel on the bench :confused:

What is a girl to do? I opened it. Well call me green about the gills and forever regretful for doing it...a fish head, yep an over night out of the fridge fish head, in all its smelly glory in my face first thing.

Well I will leave the rest to your imagination really...

I have never bought fush & chups under the influence again, nor have I ever bought a fish head :laugh:

klingon

6th March 2009, 18:08

What sort of fish?

Yer - wot 'e said - tell us about your fish...

I do believe there are other threads on KB about fish, but I don't need much encouragement to blather on about them... :clap:

I have a 200 litre tank (approx four feet long) with a mixed community:
gold barbs
cherry barbs
clown loaches
bristlenose catfish
siamese algae eaters (black line flying foxes)
cardinal tetras

At the moment I have a barrel out on the deck with some cherry barbs who are spending their summer holidays out there. I'll empty it in a couple of weeks and hopefully I'll have some fry to boost the school in my tank.
:banana: