PDA

View Full Version : Fatt Max & The Biker of Porn



Fatt Max
3rd May 2009, 16:36
Feck this is funny, happened literally an hour ago....

I had to dart out to Manukau with some gear so I had to cage it (gutted for that, have you seen the weather)

Anyway, heading back along Chapel Road towards Botany and there is a little 50cc scooter in front of me with a luggage pod that does not look secure in the least.

As the scooter gets to the shops just before the new bridge, the bike jolts (must have hit something, didnt see myself) and the fecking pod flys off the bike into the road. The lid opens up and all this stuff flys out of it all over the road.

I stop and pull over, not before beeping and flashing the scooter guy who has gone through the lights but has waved to acknowledge his folly.

"ok" I think, "let's be the good citizen and clear the stuff off the road". I see the scooter boy has turned around and is waiting at the lights.

I start picking up the contents of the pod.....now this is where it gets funny, well, a bit weird....

The contents as I remember were:

2 x copies of Aisian Houswives magazine
5 x copies of Senior Sluts
1 x copy of some foreign porno mag with a woman and a what looks like a donkey on the cover
2 x huge dildos
2 x tubes of some kind of lubricating chemical
1 x box of latex gloves
....oh yes, and the weekend Herald

Ok now, so who cares if the guy is riding around with some dodgy porn and a few accessories, but the headline on one of the Senior Sluts magazines got me...

"Check Out 85 Year Old Maggie's Taste for a Good Steamer" :gob:

Needless to say, I didnt turn to page 32 as invited.

By the time scooter guy turns up I am pissing myself. He removes his lid and I can see that he is a 30-something dude with a wedding ring and a fecking huge red face.

"Got any fat porn in there mate? I love'em big" I ask him. He just grabs the pod, mutters something under his breath and fecks off.

"Oi" I shout after him, "You forgot your bouncy cocks..."

But the guy had gone.

So, I'm standing outside some shops with all this junk in my hand. I place it all into a New World carrier bag that the lube was in and place it next to the bin outside the dairy. If you are quick you may even find it.....

Takes all sorts, eh.......

Okey Dokey
3rd May 2009, 16:40
F*!&ing hilarious! I hope you didn't catch anything, fatt maxx!

Virago
3rd May 2009, 16:45
The Weekend Herald...? :gob:

martybabe
3rd May 2009, 16:47
Well clearly I was a bit embarrassed at the time, please return my bouncy cocks and I will send you a free copy of 'Fat mommas at pie time' monthly, by way of reward.

Yours sincerely, Hooters on scooters adult emporium x :sweatdrop

DMNTD
3rd May 2009, 16:49
The Weekend Herald...? :gob:

Yeah I know! Disgusting! :gob:

Blatman
3rd May 2009, 16:57
"I place it all into a New World carrier bag that the lube was in and place it next to the bin outside the dairy"

And you expect us to believe that? ;)

Maha
3rd May 2009, 17:01
Though Ixion would have been on that Coro Loop ride?

Fatt Max
3rd May 2009, 17:02
"I place it all into a New World carrier bag that the lube was in and place it next to the bin outside the dairy"

And you expect us to believe that? ;)

Ok, I took the donkey mag with me.....it had a great recipie for sausage stroodle on page 16......I least I think it is a sausage that she is rolling in pastry and shoving up that guys rusty sherrifs badge

And yes, a New World bag is not quite true, how could any Kiwi disrespect netball....apart from the editor of 'Go Down On The Wing Defence Montly' of course

paturoa
3rd May 2009, 17:13
2 x copies of Aisian Houswives magazine
5 x copies of Senior Sluts
1 x copy of some foreign porno mag with a woman and a what looks like a donkey on the cover
2 x huge dildos
2 x tubes of some kind of lubricating chemical
1 x box of latex gloves
....oh yes, and the weekend Herald


I was thinking spank
then Oldguy
then Bob
then Renegademaster
then it hit me - carver!

nallac
3rd May 2009, 18:12
what was carver doing up in Auks???.

Indiana_Jones
3rd May 2009, 19:00
lol classic

-Indy

Elysium
3rd May 2009, 19:09
what was carver doing up in Auks???.

Supplementing gear to go with his bondage restraints.

coffeejunkie
3rd May 2009, 19:56
Max you always make me laugh:clap::clap:

Ok so i get why he might be cruzing round with all the porn but what the hell was the newspaper for?

EJK
3rd May 2009, 19:57
How come you get all the funny stories? By any chance did you work at a French Newspaper agency? Just curious :rolleyes:

nallac
3rd May 2009, 20:01
but what the hell was the newspaper for?

cleaning up the mess???????

Swoop
3rd May 2009, 20:06
Errr....

Sorry about that FM.
Can you please forward on my delivery of the two giant dildo toys to:
H. Clarke,
United Nations,
New York,
USA.

Or alternatively:
J. Tizard,
Wellington.

Mum's the word though, OK?

Cheers.

Solly
3rd May 2009, 20:25
Classic....LMAO.....:rofl::rofl::rofl:

fire eyes
3rd May 2009, 21:01
hahahahaha Mark .. fkn crackn up laughin ...

rosie631
3rd May 2009, 21:05
LMAO. Thanks for the laugh Fatt Max. :yes:

UberRhys
4th May 2009, 10:50
Feck this is funny, happened literally an hour ago....

I had to dart out to Manukau with some gear so I had to cage it (gutted for that, have you seen the weather)

Anyway, heading back along Chapel Road towards Botany and there is a little 50cc scooter in front of me with a luggage pod that does not look secure in the least.

As the scooter gets to the shops just before the new bridge, the bike jolts (must have hit something, didnt see myself) and the fecking pod flys off the bike into the road. The lid opens up and all this stuff flys out of it all over the road.

I stop and pull over, not before beeping and flashing the scooter guy who has gone through the lights but has waved to acknowledge his folly.

"ok" I think, "let's be the good citizen and clear the stuff off the road". I see the scooter boy has turned around and is waiting at the lights.

I start picking up the contents of the pod.....now this is where it gets funny, well, a bit weird....

The contents as I remember were:

2 x copies of Aisian Houswives magazine
5 x copies of Senior Sluts
1 x copy of some foreign porno mag with a woman and a what looks like a donkey on the cover
2 x huge dildos
2 x tubes of some kind of lubricating chemical
1 x box of latex gloves
....oh yes, and the weekend Herald

Ok now, so who cares if the guy is riding around with some dodgy porn and a few accessories, but the headline on one of the Senior Sluts magazines got me...

"Check Out 85 Year Old Maggie's Taste for a Good Steamer" :gob:

Needless to say, I didnt turn to page 32 as invited.

By the time scooter guy turns up I am pissing myself. He removes his lid and I can see that he is a 30-something dude with a wedding ring and a fecking huge red face.

"Got any fat porn in there mate? I love'em big" I ask him. He just grabs the pod, mutters something under his breath and fecks off.

"Oi" I shout after him, "You forgot your bouncy cocks..."

But the guy had gone.

So, I'm standing outside some shops with all this junk in my hand. I place it all into a New World carrier bag that the lube was in and place it next to the bin outside the dairy. If you are quick you may even find it.....

Takes all sorts, eh.......

hahaha... I read this 10mins ago and I'm only just able to dry the tears of laughter away. Fcuk thats some funny shite, talk about right time, right place... :killingme:rofl::killingme:rofl:

MSTRS
4th May 2009, 10:57
Ok so i get why he might be cruzing round with all the porn but what the hell was the newspaper for?

The porn mag/s are behind the newspaper, and it was sunny...
http://www.crownheights.info/media/4/20090423-newspaper.jpg

retro asian
4th May 2009, 12:26
Return of the Max! :Punk:

madbikeboy
4th May 2009, 13:22
Just to set the record straight (if you'll excuse the laboured pun), but Carver's taste runs more up the gay porn and fetish (back) alley.

coffeejunkie
5th May 2009, 19:25
:rofl: nice one MSTRS

scrivy
5th May 2009, 20:05
Sounds like he was a scooter delivery boy, delivering Sidecar Bobs weekly rations of porn!! :whistle: