20yo, single mum.

[Winter]

She needs help...

Shes living at home with Mum, and brother and sister. Brother and sister are 16-17 and wind her up a bit, OK, a lot.

Shes just loosing it a bit, I don't know how to help her anymore. Shes depressed, feeling pretty isolated and helpless.

She needs to get away from her family a bit, IE move out so she doesnt have to deal with their shit constantly. Problem is where in Auckland can a single mother afford to live on the dpb?

Shes talking about moving waaaay south to invers or somewhere just to afford the rent and get out...

the Fathers a bit of a no-hoper and Is no help to her.. (personally I think he needs some sense kicked into him, and someone to say 'take some responsibility or next time it'll hurt twice as much)

I think I've done as much as I can for her, but I can't figure out whats next...

[Hitcher]

If this is a serious thread, good luck with it.

[Winter]

Yes this is a serious thread.

Hopefully the 12 year old KB'ers will be in bed.

Yes, she knows that shes made some pretty poor choices, but shes also make a couple of good moves. Please dont turn this into a trash tread.

[Laxi]

If this is a serious thread, good luck with it.

I can hear the scum floating to the tops of their ponds now!

good luck winter hope you find some answers

[kasper]

sent you a PM

--kasper

[gatch]

Yeah sounds like she could do with a change alright, families are meant to help when the chips are down..

Invercargill is not too bad a place, I know some nice people there, fuckin cold though, I hope she gets a break yeah..

[Conquiztador]

If she is on DPB and has a child to take care off and (I assume) no money, then moving to Invercargill might not be the best option. The travel down will cost money, she will need a home (currently living at mum's place), furniture, power, phone, food and list goes on.

Try to find a state house for her. Or a live in situation where she can live with her child in exchange for house work.

Does she have any education? If not but she is keen to not stagnate then there are courses specially for young single mums that will help her with childcare, making decisions and get ahead.

Take her to Citizens advice where she can get help with budgeting and ideas what to do re her situation.

She would have a socialworker at WINZ. If she is lucky it is a good one, if not then she needs to learn what there is on offer:
- Food grants (normally $150 each time but only up to $1,5K/year)
- Emergency dental care subsidies
- Clothing allowances
- Interest free loan up to $1.5K for repairs of car, getting furniture etc.
- Allowances to help with job finding
And more.

But it comes down to one thing: It will only work if she wants to help her self.

[Sidewinder]

i could find heaps of good cheap places in hams! got a few mates with babys that have usless dads

[trump-lady]

Any domestic violence anywhere? (incldes parents, siblings etc) If she goes into refuge with the child they will do a wrap around service including priority at WINZ and HNZ. If shes central Auckland, let me know.

[sil3nt]

My old neighbour was a single mother who managed to afford a place on her own with phone and internet while not working. The father was a right asshole who i almost got into a fight with before he fucked off over to aussie i doubt he paid her anything.

So really i see no reason why she would not be able to afford a place on her own. A phone is a luxury and something i did without for a year simply because i cannot justify wasting $50 a month on something i never use and internet is again a luxury. How much do you get a week from WINZ? Something like $250 isn't it?

[Genestho]

If she already feels isolated living with her family (and friends?) in Auckland, Invercargil (sp?) will be not a good move for her at all.
Goodluck, looks like you've got some good advice to start her off with.

[98tls]

If she already feels isolated living with her family (and friends?) in Auckland, Invercargil (sp?) will be not a good move for her at all.
Goodluck, looks like you've got some good advice to start her off with.

Agreed,fwiw i wonder if theres a social group or similar of single mums that she could get in touch with and possibly hook up with a mum who has room and is struggling a bit $ wise and would be keen to take in someone in similar circumstances.A real hard one and i wish you both good luck in getting it resolved.

[Choco]

WINZ is the place to go, If you have a serious problem they'll help you out.

[Motu]

We go round and round with this stuff with one of our daughters who is a solo Mum,although she is 24 now.We got her down here at home to have the baby,built a sleep out for her and all.She moved back to Auckland,shifted a couple of times,and this weekend we shift her down here again.But this time she is in her own (rental) house just a few doors up in the same street.This will save on phone bills at least.

Your daughter can get a rent top up from WINZ - but she will get more top up in Auckland than another centre as housing costs are more in Auckland.So it was harder to find an affordable house down here for her than Aucks as the allowance drops more than the rent does.Fortunately because of her race,and the fact we live not far away,she got a good deal on the rental,and could choose her own colours when they repainted.

Support,lots and lots of it....an ear to bend and a shoulder to cry on.Someone to dump washing on,borrow furniture from,have meals with,babysit.I don't know your relationship,but they just need to know someone is there for them.This is much easier if you are a parent....in fact it's compulsory.

[A-Coward]

Why does she have the kid. Im sure there are lots of nice people driving rav4's that would love to have it. Then she could sort herself out. If she really wants it then sure.. But if not, there are other options.


[waits for attack by short sighted people]