How do I reclaim my man space?

**martybabe** · 13th June 2009, 19:22

Fer heavens sake is nothing sacred...I've got a toilet, a proper man's toilet where the toilet roll is never replaced, where I can sit in piece and do what men do, with oily stains round the sink form half washed hands and a reassuring dripping cistern No need to close the door on this little bit of real estate, it looks out into a man's garage full of motor bikes and muddy mountain bikes and tools and such.

The garage doors are seldom closed and I can look down the valley and marvel at the windswept palm trees and watch the traffic go about it's business, as I go about mine, thinking about the important things that women can't comprehend such as what bike to have next, how far can you actually throw a wayward computer and if you've got a flat tyre on a 4x4 is it a 3x4 or a 4x3, important things!!

Well that was two weeks ago, two weeks ago when everything was hunky bloomin dory in my little macho bolt hole but no more my friends tis no more.

The sister in Law has moved into the servant's quarters and I'm pretty pleased with the arrangement but slowly and surely, day by day, little things have been changing in Marty's bog. Subtle changes at first, soap ! ffs, spare toilet roll, air freshener!! a bloody towel even! hopping I wouldn't notice but the battle lines have been drawn now, no going back, the bird has crossed the line

She's only proposing to change the toilet mat! yeah, you read it right, the toilet mat, the soul of any toilet, been there since the house was built, it served the mighty Samoans before me, it's survived earthquakes, drunken wee wee competitions, oil, blood, ant infestations and yada yada yada, it's fookin history right there on the floor, Biiaaaatccchhhhh!

Come on guys, how the hell do I reclaim what's rightfully mine, how do I get my cave back, I hunt, I gather and I have a right to womans, eggs, and somewhere filthy to crapola in manly bliss. She'll wanna clean the bastard BBQ next

How do I fill the place with luffly Testosterone once more and put the ying and yang back in the universe.

**duckonin** · 13th June 2009, 19:34

Ha Ha...Enjoy being pampered while it lasts, having spare paper in the bog is good beats rushing in then saying at the end buggar, pants up around knees hopping off to find some..Kick back enjoy as most good things come to an end sooner or later....

**PrincessBandit** · 13th June 2009, 19:35

Eat more fibre and regularly nuke it so that the fumes are so bad they won't want to go near it???
Or install a family of tarantulas to scare them off.....

**Trudes** · 13th June 2009, 19:40

Originally Posted by PrincessBandit

Eat more fibre and regularly nuke it so that the fumes are so bad they won't want to go near it???

Exactly what I was thinking!!
Plant a dead rat or a fish in there somewhere or something.

**Boob Johnson** · 13th June 2009, 19:40

Ha ha, great read as always Marty but I can only feel so sorry for you. Ill swap you a hormonal, moody, demanding pregnant girl friend for a nesting sister n law any day

ps: seriously

**Pedrostt500** · 13th June 2009, 19:56

Mate, Maatee For foks sake, get rid of the air freshiner, suggest ya use a realy long pair of tongs, to do it with, I mean air freshiner in a blokes Bog, how the fook are ya sposed to find it on a dark night when there is a power cut, or some other natural disaster, like the beer fridge being empty, the next thing ya know is she will want to wipe away the oil stain that looks abit like Jimmy Hendrix on the top of the cistern, where ya once placed a used oil filter from ya bike.

**martybabe** · 13th June 2009, 20:08

Originally Posted by duckonin

having spare paper in the bog is good beats rushing in then saying at the end buggar, pants up around knees hopping off to find some..Kick back enjoy as most good things come to an end sooner or later....

Haha, If I had a dollar for every time I've done that ......

Originally Posted by PrincessBandit

Or install a family of tarantulas to scare them off.....

Thought of that but they scare me too

Originally Posted by Boob Johnson

Ha ha, great read as always Marty but I can only feel so sorry for you. Ill swap you a hormonal, moody, demanding pregnant girl friend for a nesting sister n law any day

ps: seriously

You so nice......but no, you had your fun, the hormone fest is all your doing

Originally Posted by Pedrostt500

Mate, Maatee For foks sake, get rid of the air freshiner, suggest ya use a realy long pair of tongs, to do it with, I mean air freshiner in a blokes Bog, how the fook are ya sposed to find it on a dark night when there is a power cut, or some other natural disaster, like the beer fridge being empty, the next thing ya know is she will want to wipe away the oil stain that looks abit like Jimmy Hendrix on the top of the cistern, where ya once placed a used oil filter from ya bike.

It does so look like Jimmy Hendrix

you must have had the pleasure of my bog before it turned into a girly pad.

**Ixion** · 13th June 2009, 20:13

Easy. Porno magazines. All over the walls. And a big (well thumbed) stack on top of the cistern. And if y' can, hang around when shes in the vicinity of the adorned bog and make suggestive suggestions.

Or, alternatively hint to your wife that you think sis in law fancies you .

**Boob Johnson** · 13th June 2009, 20:14

Originally Posted by martybabe

you had your fun, the hormone fest is all your doing

lol that's what she said

**Boob Johnson** · 13th June 2009, 20:14

Originally Posted by Ixion

Easy. Porno magazines. All over the walls. And a big (well thumbed) stack on top of the cistern. And if y' can, hang around when shes in the vicinity of the adorned bog and make suggestive suggestions.

Or, alternatively hint to your wife that you think sis in law fancies you .

^^ Pure genius

**Pedrostt500** · 13th June 2009, 20:18

remember dont use the tongs form the BBQ, as thats blokes cookery, it will affect the steak, steal a pair from the kitchen.
As for Jimmy hendrix on the cistern, this is a sighn from above that you are in a real mans bog, I bet that God, has an oil stain on the top of his bogs cistern that looks like Jimmy Hendrix, he also has Jimmy Hendrix, to compare said stain with.

**geestring** · 13th June 2009, 20:30

Originally Posted by martybabe

:

yeh........ not goood. to start with just say thanx but no thanx, if she continues then, the porn photos more and more, which suprised not there any way, use the towel for your oil change, piss on the spare roll. if all that fails, get a cattle prode when ever she comes near, give her a shock. everyone needs there own space. or put her to work when she comes out that puts alot off, then she might spend more time inside trying to get the oil and shit off her hands ,from under her nails.

never give up....