Saturday's accident (20 June)

**Nasty** · 23rd June 2009, 16:22

Originally Posted by DEATH_INC.

Where do I start.....
I saw it happen, I ran back and with a couple of others tried like hell to keep him alive, I felt the deep feeling when someone passes away, I wiped his blood from my hands. I see the accident and the results in my head every time I close my eyes.

Don't you lot think I feel guilty as hell?

BUT I really don't think I could have prevented it, apart from not 'organizing' it, but even that may not have prevented it from happening if he chose to go on his own.
There was no-one else involved. He wasn't 'racing' or even going fast.
Yes it was not terribly well organized, but the route was clearly stated in the first post of the ride, along with the fact that we'll wait for slower riders, no pressure to keep up.

No-one had to come.

Despite all this I still have that sick feeling in my stomach, and will live with this for the rest of my life.

And don't worry, it won't happen again.

R.I.P Disturbed (Micheal Lagore)

There is so much in this post, that I have lived through myself with Grubs death - the questions I pressed on myself. Its hard Andy, but the reality is that you have no guilt to bear, it was a tradgic accident ... a horrible outcome for a young man. The sick feeling with lessen, but its a time thing and acceptance of what has happened, and knowing/learning/accepting that it was not your fault, not anyone elses on the ride.

My heart goes out to you and your partner at the moment ... as those images are ones which don't easily erase.

RIP Disturbed ... my thoughts are also with you and yours.

Nasty

**Quasievil** · 23rd June 2009, 16:25

Hell Andy, you know I understand what youre going through mate, no words can bring comfort, just be around friends and those that love you, not even time hells that shit.
Im here for you mate and happy to talk about it with you.

**smoky** · 23rd June 2009, 16:30

But do we really need 3 or 4 threads on this subject ????

**thecharmed01** · 23rd June 2009, 16:54

I dont know the exact story here, but as an organiser of any event there will always be those thoughts of 'what if I didnt organise it' going through your mind....

My 2c though, is that you organised it, but the riders chose to attend, the riders chose to ride their bikes and while I have the deepest sympathy to the loved ones he left behind, you need to remind yourself that at the end of the day, he was riding the bike and not you.
There is nothing you could have done more than you did as you didnt have the ability to climb on the bike, take control of the bike and prevent the accident happening.

It was a tragedy, and it is something you will never forget, but you are still here, and if counselling isnt an option for you, maybe use the grief and guilt you feel to do something to help prevent something like this happening again?
Maybe involve yourself in some kind of rider training so other riders can learn how to improve their skills and maybe avoid it happening to them.

I think when we get onto a motorcycle we accept that there is an inherent risk associated with riding it that is much greater than say climbing in a car.
We know it.... but we get on anyway because we value the enjoyment over the risk. We are all adults, and no one forces us to ride motorbikes so you cant go thinking that
Hopefully this rider, will have at least passed doing something he enjoyed and had been having a great day until the end.

*hugs* for you though as you still have a long way to go before you start to put this in perspective in your own mind.
There are 7 stages of grief and you will need to pass through them all, there are no shortcuts.
I do hope you consider the counselling option as I think that could help you a lot.......

**Laxi** · 23rd June 2009, 17:11

you have nothing to feel guilty about, we are all responsable for ourselves on any ride, if anything ever happened to me on a ride I would not want anybody else to feel guilty for somthing they had no control over

**Genestho** · 23rd June 2009, 17:12

It will be natural to feel how you do. But you were not riding his bike.

The images you saw will not erase, time does not heal these things.
But you will adapt.
You may even embrace the changes this will bring to your life.

Let this change you.
If you can, find a focus to help you cope through the grief.
Grief is a long hard journey, 7 stages that aren't in any particular order, and there is no time box to say it's over, you go backwards and forwards through the stages, but accept it's a journey that will change you forever.

Take a "mental health break", maybe even from KB, so you don't have to read the "whose fault was it?" Threads?

Just be with those that love you.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful here to what you saw dude, but try to think also, of the family who now face a great, deep crevace that will be never be filled.
Councelling is good if you feel you need to get the "black" thoughts out, that you can't share with most people.

Take care of yourself and your lady

**Boosted** · 23rd June 2009, 17:12

Dude big ups on the ride, was awesome even for my first time, but like everyone says, its not your fault, can't control what other people do... Even I feel pretty shity for whats happened and havent riden my bike since sat... but time will heal itself.

**GOONR** · 23rd June 2009, 17:41

Originally Posted by Nasty

.....the reality is that you have no guilt to bear, it was a tradgic accident ...

I, like many other have read about this accident and wasn't going to post anything as I wasn't there and didn't know the person. As I have quoted Nasty, this was an accident, you cannot blame yourself for the sad outcome of an event that you had no control over.

Take up the offers from your close friends, it’s times like this that the outstretched hand should be taken hold of.

Take care.

**scracha** · 23rd June 2009, 18:03

FWIW mate, turn off the Internet as it'll just make you angrier. Keep seeing ya friends and keep getting out of bed in the morning. The sleepless nights will pass and you'll start to deal with all the nasty images in yer head.

**steve_t** · 23rd June 2009, 18:06

Deepest condolences to everyone involved, especially close friends, family, and anyone who saw the accident.

**Mom** · 23rd June 2009, 18:13

Originally Posted by DEATH_INC.

Where do I start.....
R.I.P Disturbed (Micheal Lagore)

You start with forgiving yourself for any guilt you are bringing on yourself about the fact that a young man lost his life on a ride that you posted here on KB.

Notice I said posted too. We both know the difference between an organised ride and a group ride posted here on the forum. Last Junes Cheesecutter/Westpac Helicopter Ride was oragnised for example, hells teeth we even had a friggen time keeper to keep us on target times, wore fluro vests, the whole nine yards. A few weeks ago we all went on a group ride up to Mangawhai, it was posted on here and we went on a ride. The destination was known and while some of us did not know the exact route that was being taken we all stuck together until we did not need to. Some of us rode much quicker than others but we all ended at the pub in one piece and enjoyed a chin wag and something to eat and drink. We all rode home too as I recall.

At any time on either of those occasions something could have gone wrong for one of us and a tragedy could have happened. It didn't. There by the grace of God go we.

I am really sorry that you witnessed what must have been a truely horrendous thing to see. Comfort yourself with the fact that you were there and were able to offer some comfort to the young man that died. That on it's own take some stupendous balls and I salute you for it!

Go easy on yourself mate. There have been some negative posts on here since this happened, take them for what they are, people venting their own shock about what happened. There has been some truely appalling shit posted on here today, just shows the character of the person posting I guess, dont let someone elses mental illness creep in to your mind AT ALL!

Take the time to talk to your friends and family about it, take time to recover from something like this. Let those close to you love you and care for you. Come for a pootle up this way soon so I can give you in person the hug I am giving you on here now.

Take care mate.

**Matt Bleck** · 23rd June 2009, 18:13

It's very sad that you feel you have to post this thread Andy, but after seeing some of shitty posts on here I can understand why you have.

kia kaha bro!

**MIXONE** · 23rd June 2009, 18:28

Originally Posted by Matt Bleck

It's very sad that you feel you have to post this thread Andy, but after seeing some of shitty posts on here I can understand why you have.

kia kaha bro!

+ 1.
Grief affects people in so many different ways.

**MyGSXF:Me** · 23rd June 2009, 18:33

I don't know anything about this tragic event.. but my deepest condolences to all those involved..

Andy.. please get yourself some Bach "Rescue Remedy" from a chemist or health shop.. & use it lots!! It will help!!