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Thread: Worst & Stupidest

  1. #16
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    25th October 2002 - 12:00
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    Stupidest - taking a mate home on the S2 after we'd had a few tokes. Not knowing where to go along Western Springs road he says "Ahh...turn here" into whatever road, so I did."What about that car...Ah yeah man better stop" ......slow motion, slow speed head on into a Skoda! Well, when your're wacked, everything is slow motion - we must have been doing all of about 20mph! We didnt even fall off-bent one fork on the Kwaka, but the Skoda was fucked!
    “- He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”

  2. #17
    Oh dear,how could I forget this one - a couple of years ago on an adventure ride in Taranaki with Oscar the XLV750 got too much for me on a hill and I dumped it,I couldn't haul it out of the bushes and Stu stopped on his new DRZ400,we hauled my bike out and he took it to the top...I help pick up an F650 and then had fun riding the DRZ up.At the top Stu was parked by some pine trees with my bike,I pulled up on his nice new bike with a big smile on my face,stopped and put my foot down into a hole,sending the DRZ400 into the ground...what a dork.
    In and out of jobs, running free
    Waging war with society

  3. #18
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    27th July 2004 - 00:36
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    bike: for a moment I thought the SV was a dirt bike... but after a few corners I was reminded quickly.... coming up to a corner following the wheel tracks, lean the bike, front tires slide to the the outside up the thick high lip of thick gravel, bike shoots up into the air at 45 degrees, me bale, rear follows the front, bike rotates counter clock wise 360 along its axis mid air, snap right hand mirror, lands on its wheels, and proceeds to skid along the gravel on its left, gravel rash to front left fairing and left (hard givi) panniers, bent left hand bar ends and snaped the gear selector.

    Hint: Givi hard panniers works very well as frame and fairing sliders.

    car: tired, group drive, out west, middle of no where, wet roads, (michelen tires "not good for wet"), on camber corner then obscured by trees.... turns into an off camber corner at the apex.... heavy as 1700kg cage. fishtailed on the other side caught it, let go of the gas too soon it flicked onto the otherside. this time its too much. slide down a clay bank sideways wheels dig in, slowly nuged a fallen tree sideways against a clay bank... while looking forward into some bush and farms 20 meters below.....
    came of lightly, bent wheel, bent outboard steering rod, crumpled front wheel arch and passanger door.... the passanger naturally never rode with me again

  4. #19
    Join Date
    15th August 2004 - 12:00
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    Your Face
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPman
    Stupidest - taking a mate home on the S2 after we'd had a few tokes. Not knowing where to go along Western Springs road he says "Ahh...turn here" into whatever road, so I did."What about that car...Ah yeah man better stop" ......slow motion, slow speed head on into a Skoda! Well, when your're wacked, everything is slow motion - we must have been doing all of about 20mph! We didnt even fall off-bent one fork on the Kwaka, but the Skoda was fucked!
    What's a skoda?
    The world will look up and shout "Save Us!", and I'll whisper "no"

  5. #20
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    9th October 2003 - 11:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Dave
    ALL of them.
    Amen. Lost IQ points permanently in all mine.
    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



  6. #21
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    12th August 2004 - 09:31
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    Falling off on black ice on twice on the same corner in consecutive weeks. Once, ok. Twice just dumb.

    Luckily didn't do any damage to my old TS185 (trail bikes really were good commuters), or to myself (Line 7 overtrou just slid for miles).

  7. #22
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    13th January 2004 - 11:00
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    Worst was slamming into the crash barrier on the "hill" at pukie then having the race bike bounce back and bite me.a week in hospital and rebuilt shoulder from that one.
    Stupidest -fuck theyre all stupid but probably stopping the bike half on the footpath and the road.-then realising my feet were about 9 inches from the ground. -the crash was inevitable
    To see a life newly created.To watch it grow and prosper. Isn't that the greatest gift a human being can be given?

  8. #23
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    20th August 2003 - 10:00
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    I've had two. The first was 1977. I'd been in Auckland giving evidence in court and I decided to take my T500 back to the MOT training school. Going down towards the Mangaweka Viaduct I saw hundreds of drink cans on the road, I was too busy looking at them to realise the cage in front of me had nearly stopped. Ran straight up his arse, somehow I didn't come off or damage the bike. But I was shit scared that they'd somehow hear about it back at Trentham.
    Two years later I was on duty going south on the Northwest M/way trying to head off a guy on a trail bike heading for Te Atatu Nth. I saw him on the overbridge and reached for the mike. Bad move, went straight into the concrete barrier. Skated down the road on my arse, Said arse only protected by johpurs, result = not a scratch.
    Thanks to a sympathetic Sergeant, there were no charges either.

  9. #24
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    18th February 2005 - 10:16
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    I've been really lucky over the past 27 years with 3 very minor offs.
    The worst was also tied for stupidist. Riding over wet grass on my CB125 when I looked up and saw a lamp post 20 metres in front of me. Either turning or braking would have saved me. Unfortunately I did both with obvious results.
    Other 'tied for stupidest' saw me leave my braking too late (also on the grass)at about 10 kph on my mum's driveway and burying myself in her hedge.
    Grow older but never grow up

  10. #25
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    19th August 2003 - 15:32
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    Kick start up the trouser leg on a RD400.
    Came to a stop a the lights only to find my leg mysterously glued to the bike...

  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oscar
    Kick start up the trouser leg on a RD400.
    Came to a stop a the lights only to find my leg mysterously glued to the bike...
    I laughed so hard I choked! Sorry Oscar.
    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



  12. #27
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    3rd July 2003 - 12:00
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    Death stoppie and Superman in rush-hour traffic after someone pulled across in front of me while I was filtering. Both knees sore from hard landing for *weeks* afterwards.
    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

  13. #28
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    19th August 2003 - 15:32
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    Then there was the time I mistook a white painted piece of curb for a white line (raining, dark) and highsided a XT600 Tenere at 80km/h...biggest shock of my life, one minute riding along, next minute flying through the air...ouch

  14. #29
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    30th March 2004 - 11:00
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    Worst? (also very stupid) It was Christmas day, many moons ago, and I was out riding my bike, practising wheelies up a backstreet. Came to an uncontrolled intersection in an uncontrolled condition, and there was a car going through it, so I T-boned it and somersaulted over the roof. Totally fooked the bike - it ended up with the front wheel beside the engine - and put a huge dent in the side of the car. I escaped with bruises, cuts and scrapes, 9 stitches in my right knee, and a thorough chastisement from the hospital staff. And my parents, when I rang them to come and pick me up...

    Writing off my VFR750 the year before last when a car u-turned into me was probably just as bad, but I was better protected and the bike less damaged (only $7800 worth). And by then I was well used to its lazy ways, after a lowside to have a rest, a wee nap after running over a pedestrian, and a snooze after being cut off by a BMW driver suddenly merging into the lane I was in .

    Stupidest? Hmmm... they were all pretty stupid (like dropping my first bike in the garden when returning it after the test ride), but the one that I think was the dumbest was on my sole 'incident' on the VTR. I'd just had new brake pads fitted, and they didn't work. So, I decided to bed them in, Feckin Eedjit Style, by braking as hard as possible a few times. There were several flaws to this idea: Firstly, I normally brake with only 1 or 2 fingers, and this time I was using all of them. Hard. Secondly, the road was a bit greasy after some light rain. Thirdly, the road was cambered and had numerous tarsnakes. Fourthly, I neglected to release the lever when the front tyre started sliding (oweing to the fact I was using four fingers, I guess). Lastly, I fell on my head right in front of some construction workers.

    My worst/stupidest/only car accident was when I turned to wave to my girlfriend (now wife) while turning out of the driveway at 2AM one morning. Dumbest moment to not look where I was going, as there was a tractor parked on the road, without lights on, right there. Luckily, it didn't have the brakes on, it didn't quite crash into the phone box when I pushed it up the road with the car, and I wasn't going fast, due to the underpowered nature of my elderly StudentMobile. Unluckily, my car ended up with a seriously customised front, and was undriveable. Also unluckily, the guy I sold it to abandoned the remains of it on someone's front lawn, so the cops came to see me one night. Fortunately, my bewildered expression convinced the cop that I had no idea what he was talking about, and that I was telling the truth that it was the new owner's fault the ownership hadn't been changed.
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  15. #30
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    12th November 2004 - 09:11
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    Arrow Well.

    I was a dumbarse who at the age of 15 had just got my licience. On the RD I thought I was bullet proof, well it turned out that in the rain I was not. Rather than slow down for the 35km/h courner at Urenui because of the rain, I carried on around it at my "normal" dry weather pace. About 1/3rd of the way the frount wheel came unstuck and I learned my first hard lesson: slow down in the rain. I had come accross a patch of diesel, and although I had good tyres, none are THAT good
    Those who insist on perfect safety, don't have the balls to live in the real world.

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