Worst & Stupidest

[flyin]

What's a skoda?

what do ya call a skoda with twin pipes?.......................... a wheelbarrow.

what do you call a convertable skoda?.......... a skip!!



HAHAHA but really the new ones are all VW designed and made, they offer a good, budget, reliable vehicle. no frills... just......... skoda

[James Deuce]

Krayy's parents had a Skoda for a 2nd car, and I got my license before Krayy's older brother learned to drive. I can remember trying to teach him how to do Hill starts on Target Rd (in Auckland) early one Sunday morning, and the resulting near punch up.

I also remember the near beating from Krayy's Dad when I leant on the mighty Skoda, broke the surface tension of the paint, and nearly crashed through the rust into the engine bay. Perfect car for teenage boys to thrash about in.

[Hitcher]

what do ya call a skoda with twin pipes?.......................... a wheelbarrow.

what do you call a convertable skoda?.......... a skip!!

What's the difference between a Skoda and a Mormon?

You can shut the door on a Mormon.

[Aaron]

Motu and Oscar, absolute classics!!

[Devil]

I laughed so hard I choked! Sorry Oscar.

Ditto, only just did I manage to stifle that laugh in this damn quiet office. However, the resulting noise may have attracted more attention.

IT WAS MEEEE! I WAS THE TURKEY ALL ALONG!

[Wolf]

Worst: Going downhill into a right-hand turn, went wide, ran off onto the gravel shoulder, touched the front brakes, Superman action over the rapidly vanishing handlebars and rough landing resulting in a broken wrist and a 1.5cm tear in my thigh even through my trousers and leggings. Radically bent handle bars and rearranged foot peg and brake lever. Had to ride another 10 or so km in that state as there was no one around to lend me a phone.

Stupidest: take your pick:

1) In right-hand "right turn/straight thru" lane, well aware that perhaps I should change lanes in case someone in front of me was stopping, looked over to left-hand "left turn/straight thru" lane to see if there was a gap, got distracted by the lettering on the side of a truck - said something weird, can't remember what - looked back ahead and BANG, right up the arse of a stopped car that was clearly indicating his intent to turn right (but unable to do so because of on-coming traffic.) Bent forks, heart-shaped wheel, mudguard form-fitted to wheel. Scars on the inside of my thighs from where the raised plastic tank badges ripped through two pairs of trousers, sore nuts from hitting the tacho and speedo on my way over the bars.

2) After a day of horsing around on the bikes down by the river, trying to keep pace with Charlie's SL125 as we left, gravel track, uphill, sharp corner, going wide, decided I didn't want to hit the trees just off the track so deliberately slammed on the front brake knowing I'd spill and (hopefully) skid to a halt, slid to a stop as desired and ripped the muffler clean off the pipe on my TS125... time for more bandages!

3) (Personal favourite) On my TS125 with semi-knobblies, going too fast approaching a set of lights which changed. Hit the back brake, arse swung out and threatened to pass the front, crossed up the bike, skidded sideways down the road towards the lights and came to a perfect stop without sliding over. Thought "whew" - and slowly toppled over and hit the road (forgot to put foot down after stopping on about a 45-50 degree lean)

[viper]

well my stupidist was at the bike training course that u have 2 do for your licence, it was on a wet gravel/dirt carpark and they placed the weaving cones only 1.5 metres apart. So that was humilliating

[gav]

Worst or Stupidest? Probably both, use to ride this back road in Nelson and always use to use the 90 degree bend warning sign as a braking marker after coming over the top of this rise flat out. Late one night, err bit drunk, decided to go out and see a mate off who was leaving, it'd been raining, flew over this rise, looking for marker, but some bastard had already crashed and knocked it down, I realised this way to late, braked as hard as I could, locked everything up on the wet road and slid straight off the end of the road through a waratah fence and came to rest in some cockies cow paddock. Don't know if I knocked myself out or what but wandered around in the dark, found my bike (CB750F) and tried to pick it up. Found it was all wrapped up in fencing wire, went across the road to some house, knocked on the door and borrowed a pair of pliers and cut my bike free. Managed to get it upright and eventually started it. ended up riding it back home on same back roads, with everything bent and bugger all lights. Went out to the bike the following morning and couldnt believe how badly damaged it was, every panel and tank was bent ot scratched, half the instruments were wiped off, forks bent, handlebars bent, footpegs bent, light smashed and pointing out to the side.
Amazingly I had only a small cut on one knee, had been wearing jeans, trainers, nylon jacket, MX gloves and open face helmet! Its what I had, it was my first big road bike, kinda scary thinking about it later!!!
Other dumb crash was on a PE175, new knobblies just fitted "take it easy on those tyres on the road" "yeah, yeah" think I got 3 corners from the shop before I fell off at low speed

[Oakie]

Kick start up the trouser leg on a RD400.
Came to a stop a the lights only to find my leg mysterously glued to the bike...

Had the same problem with the loop of a shoelace caught around the gearshift. Fortunately I managed to lean the other way and get my free leg down.

[Motu]

Cars too eh? - It was pretty stupid to sideswipe the battle waggon of a,ah,prominant group in our area....I was gone pretty quick and spent a couple of nights sleeping out in Riverhead Forest.It was pretty scary a few months later when a matt black Fairlane screached to a halt in front of me,blocking my way out...then someone yelled 'THAT'S HIM!' I spent a few more nights sleeping in my car in the forest....

[Waylander]

Talking cars now aye? I once drove a truck (little Ford Ranger, bout the size of a hilux but not as beefy) halfway through a pump at the petrol station. Turned to far twords it too fast, was a crap day before that and just got worse from there.