Check the simple stuff first!

**mowgli** · 2nd September 2009, 11:47

I'm a dumbarse

I had a few things running off the battery and was getting worried that one day I might forget to turn one off and flatten it. So yesterday I called into Murphy's and Jaycar and set about wiring the accessories through a relay. Took about an hour and all seemed to test fine. Oil and filter were due so I did those straight after then called it quits for the day.

This morning, key on, nothing. Damn! My wiring effort must have (I thought) shorted and either drained the battery or blown a fuse. Put the battery on charge then proceeded to check yesterday's work. Everything again tested fine. So I started pulling fuses - again nothing found. I moved the truck in preparation for a jump start then I notice the charger says the battery is full! Flat to full in only ten minutes! Now I'm really starting to worry

Checked looms for chafing and made sure all the relays were seated properly. Checked the battery terminals were tight. Tried the key again - nothing - no hang on, the headlights are working. Indicators work. Horn works. But still no ignition. Arghhhhh! The kill switch is off you fookin retard!

I never use the damn kill switch. It might as well be hard wired on. Helmet hanging on mirror must have knocked it. On the bright side, despite being delayed half an hour, I still beat Cowboyz to the tag

Notes to self. Trust your handiwork. Troubleshoot the easy stuff first.

**Mumbles** · 2nd September 2009, 12:04

Nice, I had a mate change his flat batt one day and the bike wouldnt start he had called his mech mate to come around after spending a day on it and I being a dump arse got his bike handbook found the starting procedure and followed it when i got to the "now check that the netural light is green" I laughed and lent over the bike took it out of gear and started it for him! he was a little

...
SO yeah it goes to show check the basics first.

**martybabe** · 2nd September 2009, 12:40

Bastard kill switches..... Sold my Harley to a right fussy git, he'd inspected it with a magnifying glass, argued the toss over the price during several long phone calls, several visits later he finally relented on the price, after the local dealer telling him there wasn't a better bike on the market for the money. The guy was a total arse and if I wasn't running out of time before emigrating I'd have told him to Fack orf.

Any way, the tight git of a Yorkshireman turned up to get his bike, big wad of cash in hand 2 days before I had to leave the country with no other buyers in sight. Tries to start the bike and Nada, zilch, bugger all happening. This is a first time every time bike, nothing, dead to the world.

Given the subject matter of the thread you all know what the problem was but in a (oh fuck what am I gonna do now) panic, the obvious completely eluded me.

I never used the bloody kill switch so it just never occurred what the problem was, tight Bastard clutched his money tighter as I protested that the bike had never done this before and I frantically whizzed all over the bike looking for answers. When all seemed lost and the Yorkshire man was sideways stepping towards the garden gate with an (I knew it was dodgy) look on his stupid face, I pressed the kill switch on the basis that it was the only button I hadn't pressed and all became good in the world once more.

"WTF" says I, I never use the bloody kill switch ever!. Numpty's mate steps up and says "oh yeah, I pressed that yesterday, just fiddling with the buttons". Five minutes this bastard had watched me do everything but re build the bike as the sale and salvation slipped form my grasp.I laughed and took the money, Priorities don't you know,what I actually wanted to do was smash the twat in the face with my helmet

Yeah, check the obvious folks or people could get hurt

**Insanity_rules** · 2nd September 2009, 12:51

I was parked outside a cafe one fine afternoon and went for my bike to do a suave exit. Bloody thing dead in the water, great. Checked every conceivable thing on the now dead Duc and then remembered, wait what warning lights are showing? Shrouded the instruments with my hand to see the lights and what do you know???? No neutal light!!!!!! Jesus did I feel like a dumb ass.

**CookMySock** · 2nd September 2009, 13:30

Done the same with the kill switch.. growl.. Why do we have kill switches again?

Steve

**bogan** · 2nd September 2009, 13:38

Originally Posted by DangerousBastard

Done the same with the kill switch.. growl.. Why do we have kill switches again?

Steve

I dont use them for thier intended purpose, i have been known to give a mates kill-switch a whack when the lights turn green, then laugh my ass of as i ride away. Ahhh, tis sometime the small things that are most amusing

**slofox** · 2nd September 2009, 14:43

Originally Posted by mowgli

I'm a dumbarse

Yep. You are.

But not as dumb as I was once. I spent quarter of an hour trying to kick start my 1953 Ariel before I remembered i had taken the plug lead off...to discourage theft y'know...well, it worked for me dinnit?

Course I was drunk at the time....

**Latte** · 3rd September 2009, 22:10

Similar story,years ago a few of us head down to harrisville to have a "friendly" race on a practise day, one mate had just picked up a near new CR and reckoned he was going to have me. As we head out on the track I notcied his bike was smokign a bit, but nothing to worry about (so I thought). Did half a lap and left him for dead

So he starts complaining somethings not right with the bike. We take off again, and sure enough the smoke is worse, every time hes on the gas, it coughs and splutters and sounds clogged up.

So we take it back to the van, check everything, spark plugs, air filter, try my fuel etc. Just about to give up after about 30 minutes deciding it must be stuffed when the other guy we were riding with pulls up, hops off his bike and notices the chokes on ............

**cheesemethod** · 5th September 2009, 17:07

I have a co-worker who turns off the killswitch on my bike almost every day. I'm used to it now, but I must have looked like a dick the time I tried to crash start my bike around the carpark after work one evening.

**Usarka** · 5th September 2009, 17:28

There's a bike shop i sometimes frequent that I'm sure use the kill switch on purpose so they can peek out between the blinds to have a twitter at the goose trying to work out why the shop let the battery run flat and how he'd better go in and give them a piece of his mind. Oooops, kill switch.

**Maki** · 5th September 2009, 18:40

People use to flip my switch when I rode a 250. No one ever touches my 600 though. Wonder why...

**Ms Piggy** · 6th September 2009, 09:36

Yep I did that a couple of times on my old CB250 which is a kickstart, stomping away, getting up a sweat and wondering why it won't go....DOH!

Actually the guy that recently bought that bike off me did the same thing but because he doesn't know a lot about bikes he was trying for about an hour to get it started as well as trying to get hold of me - he won't forget to check that again!