Revenge...

[Fatt Max]

Took some revenge on a geezer who has tucked up a mate of mine at the weekend.

My mate, a good, honest, hard working Kiwi bloke has been doing this renovation for some trumped up 20 something little rich boy in Parnell. This fuckwit has had Josh running around like a lunatic doing this, that and the other, and when it came to pay up time, only settled half his bill.

His argument is that ‘the workmanship is not up to the standards expected by the Building Act’ (lets leave the fact that the Building Act has nothing whatsoever to do with standards etc, and move on). Josh is a top chippie so that argument is fucked.

Anyway, bloke has not coughed up for 4 months and insists that Josh finishes the master bedroom before he ‘considers’ paying any more.

So, I says I’ll come with him on Saturday and put the lights up in the bedroom juat to while he gibs up the wall behind the headboard, just to help him out……then we gets to thinking……

We called in at Mitre 10 on the way there and bought a couple of cheap battery smoke detectors and even cheaper batteries. Slapped the batteries in and, while noone was looking, put the detectors in the wall and gibbed over them.

Now, in about 3-4 months time, the crap batteries that we bought are going to start fading and the detectors will let out that really annoying ‘beeeeeep’ you hear when the battery is going flat. The beeping should last at least another 4-6 weeks if the batteries are not changed.

Dickhead will not know where the beep is coming from and this will drive him (and his no doubt bottle blond slapper of a wench) fucking insane.

As for the money, Josh is collecting some of it this week but the sweet taste of revenge is worth more to him now than any cash…

Try that one at home folks, it fucking works, eh….

[Blackshear]

THAT IS FUCKING GENIUS
ALSO QUESTIONABLE

I had a cricket in my room for a couple of nights, and rather than FIND the thing like any normal person would, I bought some earplugs instead of fruitlessly ripping up my room.

There is a dark side to you, sir Max. A dark side indeed.

[Insanity_rules]

I'm so going to consult you if I need to get even with someone Max!

[MSTRS:Me]

Ooooo...mean.
Reminds me of stories from the car assembly days here in NZ. Some worker at a factory would order a car for himself, with special instructions for the specs etc. Some prick would always single out that car to drop a nut (or small bolt etc) into a thereafter inaccessible frame part.
"Yeah. Dunno. She's always had that rattle...."

[Leyton]

We called in at Mitre 10 on the way there and bought a couple of cheap battery smoke detectors and even cheaper batteries. Slapped the batteries in and, while noone was looking, put the detectors in the wall and gibbed over them.

HAHAHA LOL!!!!!!

I had a call out to a house when I was a alarm installation contractor for that.. they could not find it anywhere!!!!, It turned out to be an old smoke alarm they threw up into the storage in the rafters willy nilly..

It was on Sat night I ripped our one down because it was making the horrid sound... man they are annoying..


I hope the poncy prat does not catch on and request the Gib be taken down to remove them, or sue for sleep deprivation hehe...

[MIXONE]

There was a guy on the assemble line putting together valiants many moons ago who got laid off so his last act was to put golf balls in the petrol tanks of quite a few cars before they headed out to the dealers.Consequence was the golf ball could only be heard when the tank was nearly empty and took it took a long time to diagnose what the strange noise was from the backend.
Good on you and your mate as I've seen similar things happen with my chippie mates.

[ynot slow]

I have a brother who is a sparky amongst his cv.He gave a mate of mine a good price to do some wiring,all good,and still fine,but they got onto practical jokes they'd heard about.This guy said your bloody brother(yours truly)got me back good and explained why.This guy put shitloads of confetti in the vents of my car,marmited wiper blades,toilet papered my car for my birthday.I wasn't amused as it took most of a month to remove.

Took me 6 months but at his place we pulled the fuse to his bedroom(good it said br2 hp)hotpoints.Grabbed the fuse pulled the wire out,wrapped it so it looked ok,cut the wire so the ends didn't meet inside insulator.
Still looked ok from normal viewpoint,just the wire had a small gap and air doesn't conduct well.

He had a linesman as flatmate,also our mate was a sparky and although both had drunk a few said nope not fuses.He got my mate to come over next day when sober,couldn't find it for 30 minutes,kept swapping fuses and fuses were working,then he decided to check the wire and voila,bloody wires cut.Couldn't keep a straight face next weekend when he said the problem was,even they didn't believe it was me,until another guy at the party asked if I had told them what had been done.

[Fatjim]

Absolutely brilliant. In the same vane, try an open bottle of milk.

[mashman]

Absolutely brilliant. In the same vane, try an open bottle of milk.

Heh heh, I do love tales of revenge, When we got kicked out of our common room (we really did almost deserve it) after the teacher next door complained about the noise (irritable bitch). So, we took a trip to the fish farm my mate worked at and lifted ourselves out a 10lb (give or take) Salmon and placed it on the ceiling tiles in her class...

Wish I had have known about this earlier as the fish stank out the common room too and made a shitload of mess when it finally ate away the ceiling tiles and collapsed into the kitchen... ahhhhh

[Pussy]

I was going to suggest nailng a kipper to the underneath of the bed, the above suggestion sounds more effective!

[Laava]

Yes Fatt Max we realise it was full moon in the weekend!
Did you remember to shave your palms?

[Mom]

I was going to suggest nailng a kipper to the underneath of the bed, the above suggestion sounds more effective!

Have you heard the tale of the scorned woman that sewed pilchards into the hems of the drapes

[MSTRS:Me]

Have you heard the tale of the scorned woman that sewed pilchards into the hems of the drapes

I prefer the one about the shrimps in the hollow curtain rods....

[Metalor]

Hahaha, fucken gold!

My dad's a builder said if anyone was a prick like this when he was younger, he would throw crayfish bodies up in the ceiling, or fish wrapped up in newspaper.. did the trick apparently.

[Laxi]

I'm voting fatt max next election