Pros and Cons, and DOs and DON'Ts of marriage

[Ixion]

was to never go to sleep angry with each other.

Fuck! No wonder the country has such a problem with fatigued driving. All these people on the roads who haven't slept for days , weeks even. And angry with it!

[scumdog]

Ok , some real constructive feedback here, I think we are on the right track

Well here's more:

It's a wise man who knows who wears the pants in the family.

And lets her wear them anytime she wants.

[Fatt Max]

My missus asked her mother the night before our big day as to what to expect on the day of the wedding.

Her mum said "it's easy darling, you will walk up the isle, stand next to the groom at the alter and we will all sing hymn"

So, on the big day, as she was walking along to the wedding march, she kept repeating key words of this advice lest she forgot....and all anyone heard as she passed them in the pews was;

"Isle......alter....hymn"....

Didnt work though, I'm still a fat bastard who loves loud music, drinks far too much piss and farts a lot. I even have a bike now, eh......

[Forest]

Marriage?

No thanks.

[Tony.OK]

Do's and don'ts.......mmmmmmm???

DO everything your told to do

DON'T even think about thinking for yourself

= Happy Marriage

[Headbanger]

You fuck a cunt, You don't marry one.

Been married for 11 years, Best thing I ever did.Hooked up with an awesome lady.

[Skyryder]

Well here's more:

It's a wise man who knows who wears the pants in the family.

And lets her wear them anytime she wants.

Jeez SD so true. It's knowing when to take them off,

Skyryder

[Latch]

It happens my very settled, very happy, very supportive, very successful 5 year relationship has just come to an end... We were very successful at being a domestic couple, but I don't think we were really meeting one another's needs at all (except for the domestic bit, obviously). We were comfortable, but basically unhappy; tha's not good. When we started breaking up, I did a check of the Big Three, and to my astonishment, realized we'd scored none for three; despite the happiness and settled situation, etc. The theory goes that for any relationship to be successful, the partners must agree on the following: money, sex, & babies. I reckon if you actually feel the same way about those things (that is feel the same way, not agree to disagree) then it'll be sweet. Let us know how it's going in five years!

[SixPackBack]

LOL technically you are correct. But I am in a long-term committed relationship "in the nature of a marriage."

I was married for ten years to a man who I still like and respect, and who likes and respects me. We worked very hard to try to 'save' our marriage, because we knew we were both good, smart people and if anyone could make a relationship work, surely we could do it!

In the end it didn't work out, because during the course of the relationship our values and priorities had diverged and we no longer had enough common ground that we wanted to still be together. Breaking up was very difficult, but I believe we handled it well.

I don't see this as a 'failed' marriage. On the contrary, we both gained a lot from the ten years we were together and we have no regrets.

So you are right, SPB, and I won't be taking your $10! But I do believe I am qualified to comment on this subject.

Very well qualified I would say. Both you and your ex husband share a high level of emotional intelligence that many spilt relationships could learn from.

[Street Gerbil]

Pretty simple, really. Ask yourself the following: are you confident that you will have each other's back for the rest of your lives? Are you ready to take her side in every conflict including that with relatives and friends? Is she ready to take your side in every conflict? If you have doubts about any of the above, run like hell.
Married for 10 years and counting.

[Headbanger]

All this sharing your hopes and dreams stuff is a hard case, But it means nothing, People grow as they age and people can grow in different directions, no matter if at some stage you were on the same page.

To keep it simple, You need to be able to put up with her shit, and she needs to be able to put up with yours.

If either of you cant or the shit gets to much to bear then its time to move on.

Of course...My hopes and dreams pretty much consist of a cold beer and some titties to play with.......

[mstriumph]

Best advice I got from my dad (married 40 years) was "sometimes son being married is just hard work"
I agree tiotally.

'sfunny - my grandfather warned me that marriage was an institution and, if i felt ready to GO into an institution i should, by all means, get married

- he was joking ... i think

my own piece of advice is don't pick someone you can live with --- pick someone you can't live without.

[davebullet]

Don't let her walk over you - she'll lose respect for you. Stand up for what you need / want. Keep your identity.

Don't do nothing - surprise her every now and then (not all the time - relates to respect above plus constant surprises are, well... no longer surprising)

If she has to ask you to do something - then you've already missed the boat. If a woman needs to ask you - you are not in tune with her needs. Be more aware of the little things and do them. Like - new roll of toilet paper, empty the rubbish, tidy the phone table when it is piled with assorted paper etc...

Watch for periods. they make the usual emotional rollercoaster even more fun!

PS: I have been through one marriage "washing cycle" = epic fail, so am not qualified to comment.

[DMNTD:Me]

If you can't love the "worst" of your partner then ffs, don't do it.

[Highlander]

One life one wife.

It does not take 100% commitment to see it through.
It takes 100% commitment from EACH OF YOU.


Someone earlier said don't go to bed angry. To expand on that, never let the sun go down on an argument. You need to talk, not rant or lecture but plain, honest open talk to each other.

That said, we celebrated our 20 year anniversary earlier this year and I can't imagine it any other way now.

If you can't love the "worst" of your partner then ffs, don't do it.

Warts and all.


Afterthought: It is ok (healthy even) to have some activites you do individually, you don't have to do everything together, you are after all 2 individuals that have chosen a life together.