Awkward moments on a bike

[McJim]

I rode into the Homer Tunnel with sunnies on once ... instant blackness !!!

I rode through the Homer Tunnel once - no one told me it was off-road inside - bike bounced all over the place and I couldn't see the surface at all!

[Ronin]

I had been dying from the man flu for a couple of days and my chest had about 30 litres of crud floating around in them. Of to the chemist to get something to clear it up. Bottle of Robistussin in hand I shoot around to a mates place. Deciding that a ride would cure all ills we up and shot out the the Gladdy. Much Coke and Wedges were consumed. After an hour or so 'twas time for home so home we headed. Now being a man and dying as I was from the man flu I hadn't measured the dose of Robitussin, I had in fact just up ended the bottle and taken a sizeable gulp.

Those of you who have done this will see where this is headed.

About halfway home my body decided that I needed a crap... Actually no, I needed a crap 10 minutes ago... On second thoughts you need to crap NOW!. Now I'm not sure where in the world the most uncomfortable place to start arse cramping is but I'm guessing a bike is right up there on the list. Shuffling from side to side I manage to wedge my cheeks together and decide that riding a lot faster would be a splendid idea. Or would have been if every bump on the road hadn't suddenly transformed into the Himalayas. The faster I went, the more I needed to crap, the more I needed to crap, the faster I went.

The trip up my driveway was epic. Rossi would have been left stone cold dead. Cursing ATGATT, velcro tearing, swearing and cursing I made it to the porcelain haven just in time for both my lungs to evacuate them selves through my arse.

The following 5 minutes have been censored to protect the young and squeamish.

Later I checked the bottle.

"May cause laxative effect"

[OutForADuck]

Thats not Awkward Dean....thats a FAIL!!!

That's damn near a bounce... but I'll award that, given the spectator