Forum whore
Moi: "Good morning, [business name], Steven Speaking"
Cust: "yak yak. computer farked, etc etc".
Moi: "Hi, this is Steven. Sorry, who am I speaking to?"
Cust: "yak yak, internet down, yak yak" (ignores request)
Moi: "Ok, not a problem, but who am I speaking to?"
Cust: "you are speaking to me"
For the love of ged. Made appointment, she ended up giving me her husbands name. Really weird. Can't wait untl I show up at this farm.
Originally Posted by Kickha
Double shot!!
Betcha there are scones on when you get there though.
Steve
"I am a licenced motorcycle instructor, I agree with dangerousbastard, no point in repeating what he said."
"read what Steve says. He's right."
"What Steve said pretty much summed it up."
"I did axactly as you said and it worked...!!"
"Wow, Great advise there DB."
WTB: Hyosung bikes or going or not.
BMW Motorrad
Hahaha
If you can make it on Kiwibiker you can make it anywhere.
Psyclepath
Sounds like....
Only a homo puts an engine back together WITHOUT making it go faster.
Hardcore Biker
yeah i wonder if she really is blonde.
"I saw, I came, I conquered".
Bite my shiney metal ass
Scracha old buddy, I have something very special for you.This attachment gets me through many a phone call like the one you just described. Like the time I discovered that a customer of mine switches off his (WPA2 enabled wifi with an 18 character password) router so people don't hack into it even though if you have it powered off for more than 18 hours it dumps all his settings (its 5 years old and fucked BTW) and he has to pay me an hour (minimum rural) call out to set it up again and he blames me for it! I tried to explain to him that even though its not entirely impossible to hack the likelihood of it happening is about as much as being hit by lightening, he still thinks his rsa buddies know more about that sort of thing than me. I mean what do I know? I'm just the managing director of the company and have 15 years in the industry. So when your smiling and eating it from some dumbass who won't listen to reason please gaze upon this and have a quiet laugh to yourself.
Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire. -Samuel Johnson
Forum whore
Apparently this is true:
Customer Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
CS: "What sort of trouble?"
C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
CS: "Went away?"
C: "They disappeared."
CS: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
C: "Nothing."
CS: "Nothing?"
C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
CS: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
C: "How do I tell?"
CS: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
CS: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
C: "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
CS: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
C: "What's a monitor?"
CS: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
C: "I don't know."
CS: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
C: "Yes, I think so."
CS: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
C: ".......Yes, it is."
CS: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
C: "No."
CS: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
C: ".......Okay, here it is."
CS: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
CS: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
C: "No."
CS: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
CS: "Dark?"
C: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
CS: "Well, turn on the office light then."
C: "I can't."
CS: "No? Why not?"
C: "Because there's a power outage."
CS: "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
CS: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
CS: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
CS: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
it's not a bad thing till you throw a KLR into the mix.
those cheap ass bitches can do anything with ductape.
(PostalDave on ADVrider)
Hardcore Biker
I enjoy the support calls that end in me turning on the monitor
Forum whore
Still, I think the irate customer who rang us to complain about our tardy response to the email she sent advising us their email wasn't working takes the cake.
Highway Biker
I bet RT is thinking "better you than me Noel".
Forum whore
Hey, no parts were purchased from the Internet so it all worked out fine in the end.
Hardcore Biker
has anyone read the true story about the US carrier that asks a lighthouse to move out of collision course?! Crack up.
Missing my buddy Morepower
Its her boyfriends computer and she broke it, I bet she was trying to get it fixed before he knows its broken
Let us know how the visit goes ....
Weekend cruiser
I used to work for an motorcycle accessory importer
We had some dumbass customers
Like the dudes from tyre shops who would ring up and ask for a "harley tyre"
One of the chics in sales hated fuckwits so much, her standard line was
"did you catch my name?'
If the reply was "no"
she would say "Do you like sex & travel?, then go fuck yourself" and hang up
Funny as hell!!
Hardcore Biker
i was at a job interview..
and the bloke said to me..
can you speak asian??
Fuck me... there are about 100 galzlion asian languages...
who did he think i was?
And that is the honest truth your honour..
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